143.8!

You know, I never used to be a pessimist, but these days (at least regarding my weight) I find it hard to believe good news--like maybe there's five pounds hiding behind the bathroom door waiting to attach themselves to my thighs by next Tuesday. When I see my weight go up a bit I think "yeah, that's about right" and when it goes down I think "well, THAT'S not going to last." And some days I really feel like I'm getting thinner all over while other days I think all the weight I've lost has been from my boobs and that my stomach flab will never go away. That last part isn't entirely inaccurate--my bra size has gone down but my stomach seems as flabby as ever. There's nice muscles under the flab, but I think that "maternal fat reserve" as it's euphamistically called in the pregnancy books will be the last thing to go, if it ever does.

So yesterday I was back to my usual routine--cereal for breakfast, almonds for snack, yogurt, pretzles, and a pear for lunch, skipped the string cheese because I wasn't hungry in the afternoon, then went home and ate junk--my dinner was french fries and half an apple, followed by a tablespoon of chocolate chips and a handful of the fake m&m's (which really are much better than regular m&m's--the candy coating has a better flavor and the chocolate is higher quality), then a clementine before bed because I really wanted more chocolate but had to stop myself.

My 1:00 meeting yesterday turned into a 2:30 meeting when the woman I was supposed to be meeting with didn't show up. That kept me busy until 3:30 and I was really tempted to skip the gym (since it takes me an hour to get there, get changed, work out, clean up, change back into work clothes, and walk back) but didn't, although I did cut the workout down by five minutes (30 minutes instead of 35) and was only able to run about five minutes of that time because my heart rate was going up too high--that's what I get for skipping a week of good aerobic exercise.