Friday, December 29, 2006

GACK!

I feel puke-y! Oh so Puke-y!! etc. I don 't know why, but all day I have felt a little bit like I have morning sickness... like all would be fine if I would just throw up - once. But - on the flip side, I don't quite feel like I have to throw up... I feel like I might just be a little bit hungry. I'm sorry. Was that too much information?

I had nothing interesting for food today - except I got a Gyros when everyone sent out for lunch. It didn't help my stomach. My weight this morning was 214.0. So - down from yesterday - but up from where I want to be... by about 64 pounds!


I am off to see Emily, et al this weekend - but I am not sure when I am supposed to be leaving. The original plan (for me) was to leave about now to head down there and then have a nice long-ish visit. THEN I was told that they wouldn't be back home until Saturday from Alabama-ville. So - I am now thinking that I might just wait and go down on Sunday. I don't want to arrive there before they are home, and I don't want to decend upon them when they are all tired from traveling. AND - afternoon/evening is my worst driving time. I like early morning or late night MUCH better! So - I am thinking about leaving at about 7am on Sunday. Emily, how does that sound? I think I will time my arrival with your lovely Sunday brunches... Are you doing one?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Holiday Week

My weight has been up and down for the past week. I was as low as 211.8 (Christmas Eve morning after spending Christmas Eve Eve at a party where JULIE MADE ME DRINK TO EXCESS!!! Julie - do you remember saying that you would take full responsibility). Luckily I donated most of the calories back to Bacchus - so my weight was low. Then I ate too much on all of the following days - leaving me with a weigh in weight of 213.2. Not TOO bad - but I kept going up... Today I was 215.2.

I did NOT eat Macaroni and Cheese on Friday - but I did today. Katie and I also went to breakfast at IHOP on Tuesday. Other than those two calorie fests I have pretty much just grazed on Christmas cookies all week. Today I had (in addition to the Mac and Cheese) a kiwi and right now I am eating trail mix. I don't know what my dinner is for tonight - but I am going to try to be good. I want to get myself back on track mostly before my next diet... Fat Flush.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Looks like EVERYONE forgot Tuesday

I certainly did. But I was on the road yesterday so I had an excuse. I believe my weight yesterday was 141.0. My weight actually went below 140 one morning this past week, because I was so busy I kept forgetting to eat, and most days I didn't sit down unless I was driving someplace. Now I'm doing lots of sitting and more eating than is necessary. Is there an all-sugar diet that requires you to eat until you hate the sight of sweets? That's what I'm on.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Bad Eating

I have been in holiday mode this week. I have been eating (fairly small amounts of) holiday cookies, candies, etc. Yesterday we had our team party - and we got ribs and crab cakes from Corner Stable (determined the menu when I was still on Atkins). It was VERY yummy. I have been bad about eating my real food (today so far I have only had junk food - no healthy stuff. Right now I am contemplating going to Noodles to get Mac and Cheese for lunch. Yummm. I need comfort food for some reason.

No exercise. My period DID start yesterday - and as I suspected it would be it has been VERY heavy. In fact - I would be willing to bet that this is the heaviest period I have EVERY had! I am already down to 212.2 - and I am SURE that is all because of my period. Did I tell you all I dreamed I was pregnant? Actually - I dreamed the doctor was insisting that I was pregnant and I was insisting that that would be impossible! I think part of this is related to the fact that I had the feeling that the endocrinologist didn't quite believe me when I told him I CAN'T lose weight. That bugs me. The doctor not taking me seriously - and the not being able to lose weight.

I am looking forward to Christmas - and time off - but I am even more looking forward to getting back to my life where constant goodies are non-existent!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Appalling

I was 143.0 this morning. I've been between 140 and 141 all this past week, and then for weigh-in day my body and my scale surprised me with a jump to 143. I haven't been exercising -- but I also have hardly been sitting down and I've hardly been eating. Though a lot of what I've been eating has been junk -- well, not junk, entirely, but not full meals, and not balanced.

This weekend I took extra iron daily and I even skipped my calcium in case that was keeping me from absorbing the iron, and today I tried to give blood. Didn't work. I'm still anemic. Phooey.

I'll get back to regular exercise and diet and posting in January, I promise!

There is no connection

I am convinced there is no connection between what you eat and how much you weigh. I don't believe it exists. I just had a long conversation with people at work - they were teasing me about not eating all of the junk that is around or ordering out lunch with them... I said - I wouldn't MIND all of the dieting I do if I actually ever saw any results. Which I don't. I was 215.6 today - again.

Today so far I have eaten a clemantine, 2T of hummus and six baby carrots and 10 grape tomatoes (or it may have been 8 grape tomatoes). I also had ONE chocolate covered pretzel. I drank 32 oz of water before I left my house - I have been drinking half caff coffee with skim milk. I even got Kristy a Fa La Latte (she drinks one EVERY DAY! why doesn't SHE have a weight problem?) and nothing for myself. I have back to back meetings all afternoon - so I don't know if I will drink my other 32 oz of water before I finish work - I don't want to have to take constant bathroom breaks...

I didn't exercise last night. I ended up doing something - which I can't remember now. Katie - what did I end up doing? I went to Mom and Dad's after work - which made dinner late and then we packed our lunches after that. That can take time - especially since we are trying to be exact with this phase of diet.

I love this diet. The food is all healthy and tastey. I feel smug looking at my good collections of food in my lunch bag. The only problem is that since it allows most foods (it is moderation that is taught) it is easy to cheat - like having a chocolate covered pretzel. One is definitely moderation - but it was still probably 60 or 80 calories. When you are shooting for 1300 total that can easily push you over the top. Figuring 300-400 per meal, that doesn't leave you with a big buffer. You know? Last night I did cheat. I had pistachio nuts. Again - that is generally a good, healthy, not super high in calories, snack - but it was still probably about 140-150 calories.

No diet + no exercise = no posts

I've been horrible the past week. I didn't get to the gym once. I didn't even walk the dog once. I haven't been watching what I eat at all. I've been into so many Christmas goodies that I couldn't even begin to name them all. And every morning I get up and make a conscious (sp?) decision to NOT weigh myself. So I was really not looking forward to this morning.

Imagine my shock (once I finally opened my eyes to look at the scale) (really, I'm not making that up--I didn't want to look at the scale so I kept my eyes closed) when I saw that I was actually DOWN a bit from last week. 133.8 this morning.

The only explanation I can give is that even though I've been eating like a horse, I've been super-busy--always running around, up until 1:00 or 2:00 every night for the past five or six nights, running errands every lunchtime, etc. So I think the eating and the activity levels balanced out so that I didn't gain two or three pounds.

Either that or none of this makes any sense at all and there isn't really a connection between what I eat and how much I weigh.

150.5

Maybe next week I will see the next lower "decade" of poundage.

I am sooooo hung over today. I cannot believe I am actually at work. I may die before the day is over. I went to a fire department Christmas party last night and fire men are extremely efficient drink producers. It was insane. But a lot of fun.

I exercised Sunday night. Ran 2 miles and then used the regular bike for 15 minutes. I notice that using the regular bike seems to use more muscles for me. I was extremely sore yesterday and a little lingers today. My hope is to go to the gym this evening, unless I die first. I'll keep you posted on that.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Allllmmmosssst

I ALMOST cheated today. Well, I did a little bit. Kristy went to Caribou to get coffee and I figured since I was no longer on Atkins I could have Caribou coffee. So I ordered a Fa-la-latte. BUT - before I had a chance to drink it I looked up the calorie count - 680!!!!!!!!!!! So I took two sips, poured about a tablespoon into my regular low fat, no sugar, coffee and threw the rest of it away! That'll teach me to spend $4 on a stinking coffee!

Where are the rest of you. I have been posting alone for - like a week now!

I am so excited!!!

I am off Atkins officially today. 8-) I am starting the first in my series of diets - although, I am not sure if this really counts. I am back to doing the Glucerna plans for the next two weeks. This is my favorite diet - but in reality it is just healthy eating. I love the Glucerna website - it plans your daily meals (you set the calorie level - the lowest being 1300 - so that is what we are doing) it then gives you a shopping list and all of the recipes you need.

I just had a piece of whole wheat toast with a tablespoon of peanut butter. It was very yummy. I am drinking CAFFINATED coffee (WHY do all the diets cut out caffine? I thought it helped speed up your metabolism!) with skim milk (boy did I miss that - who would have thunk?). I have strawberries to go with my toast - but I haven't eaten them yet. I am also four glasses in to the 8 glass of water requirement... I will be in the bathroom ALL DAY! and I am only half way there.

Our tree is up and decorated (and very wonky looking - but cute none-the-less). My living room is relatively clean - although the treadmill is still mostly buried. I think I may - perhaps - be able to exercise in the living room tonight - which (KATIE! HELP?) I will attempt to do... I have thawed Jambalaya for dinner tonight. YUM! I am SO excited to have NORMAL foods again. Although - I am not sure if this will work for the next two weeks - since there is nothing weird about it - just low calorie.

It MAY work just because for the past week - and when I was actually STICKING to Atkins - so, about four weeks prior to that) I suspect my calorie levels were well above 1300. So - perhaps this diet change WILL result in a little bit of weight loss.

I think I have planned this well - My period is LOOMING with a vengence - I had those ping-y cramps all day yesterday which usually only preceed a really bad period - and today my boobies are very heavy - as was my weight. I was 215.6 this morning - which is a 2 pound spike from where I was all last week - and is typical for me days before my period. So - this means that in a week I should drop about four pounds - regardless of my diet - but I will attribute the loss to my diet. 8-)

Friday, December 15, 2006

Down a smidge

Only by .2 - I was 213.4 today. I think the confuse your body thing must work on a micro scale too. I SERIOUSLY expected to be up to 214 today! I ate perfectly ALL DAY then for dinner last night I had the rest of Katie's buttery, chocolately, sweet, salty goodness (Sorry Katie, it is all gone now...). Then later than night I had a VERY LARGE serving of pistashio nuts (in for a penny...).

I wrapped a bunch of presents last night. Actually - I have been wrapping presents all week. I am making good headway. This is kind of depressing to me though - because I hate having it all done. We will be getting our tree on Saturday (and hopefully decorating it then too...) so I will then have a place to put the wrapped presents. Currently they are piled all around the treadmill, making it impossible to get to. So - I haven't been exercising since I have started wrapping... But, Yes, Emily, with my diet schedule I also intend to exercise. Except when I am doing the severely restrictive ones (i.e. Cabbage Soup, which only is three days) because I have noticed I do feel weaker when I am doing them.

I forgot to include on my schedule - Blood Type Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet and............ shoot! There was another one. I also have 8 Minutes in the Morning (diet book) and another one that involves a personality quiz, and a seratonin diet. I realized when I was reading South Beach last night that diet books are the one form of non-fiction that I DO enjoy reading. I have a ton of them. BUT - if you want to get me more I don't have Sugarbusters - or if you do an Amazon search for Diet Book - I don't have a TON more. I added The Philosopher's Diet: Lose Weight and Change the World to my wish list...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The truth

I ate about a pound of that yummy buttery salty chocolatey stuff that Katie gets from her students last night. I am addicted to the stuff and Katie left it just laying around. I am beginning to think she doesn't care for it all that much - because if it were mine I would hide it. And I remember LAST year I ate most of what she got. This was on top of eating a good percentage of a bag of Beets and Sweets Terrachips. So - in a nutshell - I totlaly blew it yesterday!

I am out of Atkins bars. THat is normally what I eat when I am hit with the muchies - and they do a pretty good job of taking care of my cravings. Obviously without them around I am at my own mercy (which is NEVER good!). I think I am pre-period craving. I got my period Nov 20th last month - so this is a little early for PMS - but maybe that is it. When I get sick my hormones get wonky anyway and I often get my period early...


I am - so far - back on track today. I just ate a salad with cheese and edemane nuts and ranch dressing (4.8 carbs total) and I am taking my vitamins while I am typing this. Between my morning vits and my meal ones and my bedtime ones I take 25 pills. That is a lot. 15 of them are flax seed oil, Evening Primerose oil and fiber pills. The rest are assorted vitamins - C, B6, Calcium, St Johns Wort, etc. The morning and night ones are quick (6 and 3) but the lunch time ones take FOREVER to gag down - but it does force me to drink a full bottle of water.

OK - The truth thing... (not the junk food confession part - that was true too though) I was reading in Southbeach that when you eat low carb/high protein/good fats foods you feel satisfied a lot more quickly than when you eat carbs. So - you are less inclined to overeat. Carbs on the other hand - are more apt to make you feel MORE hungry - so you over eat. This, I have found, to be true. I feel full usually about halfway through a meal when I have been carb free (or mostly carb free) for the whole day - but when I have been eating sugar or lots of carbs I will KEEP eating regardless of how I feel. I also don't generally feel FULL - I just start to feel sick. There is a big difference.

OK - Starting next month I am going to do:
Fat Flush - January 4 - 17
off - Jan 18-24
South Beach - Jan 25th - Feb 7th
off - Feb 8-18
Body for Life - Feb 19 - departure for Italy
off - Italy
Body for Life - return from Italy - March 28th
off - March 29th - April 8th (Easter)
Atkins - April 9-22nd
etc.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

140.5

Down a little from last week, up a little from the week before. My weight seems to be staying fairly consistent. I am not eating a lot because I'm so busy, but I'm also not focusing on what I'm eating so I'm probably pretty imbalanced. And I haven't exercised in a while, either. But, then, I seldom sit down -- this is the first time all day, except for during Mary's French class when the other two moms and I have our weekly vent session -- so I haven't completely ceased burning calories. So that's why I'm managing to maintain. Maybe Daniel and I can go back to walking/running when we're in Alabamaville post-Christmas!

Ugh

I am going up again. I was 213.6 this morning. I stayed perfect with my food all day - until about 2am when I woke up (I sleep very fitfully when I am sick). I was craving salt - so broke into Laura's Terrachips and ate about a serving (10g carbs) maybe a little less (I didn't want her to know I was stealing chips from her...).

I am feeling slightly better today. I am still very sore throaty, and my joints ache, but my fever seems to be gone. I don't think I am going to make it to 6:30 tonight though. I currently am urging myself to make it to 4pm at least.

So - how long exactly do I have to stick with this diet before I determine that it just isn't working anymore? I have been on it for just about 30 days, and only lost during the first 10 days. That means for TWICE that time I was doing what I normally do - hold steady, then start to gain again. The problem is I MISS normal healthy foods - whole grains, V-8, fruit. I loved it when I was dropping major weight daily... and I would even be happy if I was still losing the normal 1-2 pounds a week - but - once again - I am not! AND - until this past weekend - I DID NOT CHEAT!

So NOW what do I do? Accupuncture? Maybe that is the key for me... I keep thinking that SOMETHING has to be the key for me. I just have to figure out WHAT!!!

Do I risk easing off this diet? What if my weight skyrockets again?

134.2

That's not as bad as I was expecting. I was thinking I'd be closer to 135 after all the eating I've been doing. I'll still need to focus on getting my weight DOWN but for now I'm going to cut myself some slack--as long as my weight isn't really jumping huge amounts from one week to the next and as long as I'm getting some regular exercise, I'm not going to beat myself up over lack of perfection and lack of weight loss. Staying within my goal range is o.k. with me for the next few weeks.

I'm baaacckkk...

Finally bought a scale over the weekend. 151.5 today. It is not really on purpose but I have been really active lately, not with exercise but just other things keeping me from eating a lot. I visited my gym at the apartments and it is excellent. If anyone wants to come with me in the evenings I am certain I can sneak you in. Nearly all the machines have their own flat panel tvs. It is pretty neat. And the equipment is brand new. I ran a mile on the treadmill and then biked 4 Sunday night. I hope to get up there again tonight.

I found an old journal I was half keeping from early 2005 and I logged my weight in as 170. Ick. Looking at that made me see I have come along way--maybe not quickly, but that number hasn't been a threat in a really long time. Whew!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Re thinking

I am with Sarah. It is very tempting to decide to ditch the diet until after the holidays. I won't though. Mostly because I fear that I will gain back the weight I DID lose. I am also rethinking my current eating habits. I don't know if it was co-incidence that I stopped losing at the same time that I started including low carb bread stuff. Again, my carb count was still low, but part of the count was from breads.

I am thinking about repeating my first 10 days of diet. Take out fruits and nuts, add back half caf coffee, and herbal tea. If I don't start losing again we will know that wasn't the solution.

I am home sick from work today. I told Sarah that it is one of those sicknesses where you feel HORRIBLE when you have to decided if you should go to work, but fine at 10am (well - except for the guilt of chosing to stay home) but then crappy again about 4pm. I am just re-entering the second phase of crappiness.

My weight yesterday and today was up to 213.2. I think that was because of the party on Saturday and then my official cheat of eating a granola bar last night. I have been perfect with my food today - so we will see how that plays out tomorrow.

I am off to boil some eggs, make some herbal ice tea and take a nap.

I'm scared to weigh myself

I only weighed myself once over the weekend, and I was over 134 at that point. And since then I've pretty much eaten non-stop without exercising. I've lost all my self control--I'm back to my old habit of just eating because it's there and I'm bored! And to make matters worse, I'm probably not going to make it to the gym today because I'm buried under a pile of paper (almost literally--the clutter at work finally got to me so I'm organizing my messy piles and filing and so now things are worse for a while until they get better) and have four deadlines in the next two weeks. I'm tempted to just give up and start all over again after Christmas, but I hate to do that because I know if I give up running even for the next three weeks I'll really regret it when I start going back. Ugh.

It must be December

Because nobody is posting. So we're all either very busy, or cheating on our diets, or both. Count me in the "both" column. I'm just hoping to get through the month without too much weight gain, and then I'm going to start in fresh in January. And join the gym then, too. I feel really tacky joining the gym in January, but there's no point joining when I don't have much time to go and when we're going to be out of town for a week anyway! In the meantime, I'll keep posting on Tuesdays and checking in once in a while.

Friday, December 08, 2006

STILL Stuck

I was 212 for four days in a row. Today I was 212.2 - which was probably because yesterday I had a Starbucks Gingerbread Latte. The first real and true cheat I have done (that wasn't inspired by circumstances - i.e. holiday, birthday, etc. I just said "To hell with the diet!" and ordered a latte.) Anyway - that didn't affect me much at all. Sigh.

However, yesterday someone DID say to me - "You look like you are losing weight." My pants today are QUITE as tight as they were the last time I wore them. So I guess that is something. I really think that was more the outfit I was wearing - black turtleneck sweater and khaki skirt. I think that is a slimming outfit - however, I will take what I can get.

Tomorrow night is the TESSCO holiday party. I don't ususally eat a lot at these - and it may not be too hard to stick to Atkins friendly food - but I don't intend to. I won't go overboard (since I don't usually eat a lot anyway) but I figure TESSCO is paying $60ish for me to be there, I don't want them to get ripped off!!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

141.0

Same as last week, I think, which is fortunate, given how little I've been exercising and how poorly I've been eating. The Girl Scout nuts and candy arrived on Thursday so since then I've eaten an entire container of chocolate covered raisins and most of a container of peanut squares (basically peanut brittle, but not as good) and a fair number of cashews (but they've replaced my almonds, which are nutritionally almost the same, and I haven't gone overboard on these). And I made brownies for Mary's playdate on Friday and cookies for the Reconciliation reception on Saturday, and I've eaten a LOT of the cookies. Sheesh. Time to start making an effort again!

Still Stuck

At least the half a cider and the paper thin piece of cake last night at Claire's party did no harm. I was 212 this morning (same as yesterday).

I have started doing 50 sit-ups before bed. It isn't a lot - but I am hoping it will stave off the belly flab that seems to be developing since I quit the gym. The treadmill keeps my legs in pretty good shape - but my core muscles are suffering. I need to start Pilates again.

I wonder if the low carb bread stuff I have been eating is reversing my loss affects? I have 6gram bagels and bread that is 2.5 grams per. I don't go over board. I have either a bagel OR two pieces of bread a day - and that is it. That is only 1/4th of my allowed carbs per day - and I rarely go over 20 (and most days I am around 17). When I first started Atkins I was HATING the greasy feeling I had from eating. I have cut way back on the cheese - and even the meat. I am not going over 20 grams - but I wonder if I am not eating enough fat now. The book says that fat is an essential part of the diet. Right now I am eating sausage and lowcarb toast with butter. You would think THAT meal alone would be enough fat for the day!

133.6

Pretty much the same as last week. Surprising considering what I've been eating the past couple of days--gala food on Saturday, cookies on Sunday, leftover pasta with pesto and walnuts for lunch yesterday, two pieces of birthday cake (one for Marge at work, one for Claire), and ravioli for dinner. Two trips to the gym, and during yesterday's I was so tired that I only managed 25 minutes on the treadmill before giving up. But I'm determined to keep going to the gym--last year around Christmas I didn't go as often as I should have because I spent my lunch hour shopping. So I'm going to stick to my usual M-W-F schedule at the gym and only let myself off the hook when something comes up that's work-related that interferes with the schedule.

Monday, December 04, 2006

tuuukkk! Tukkkk!! TUCK!

For those of you that can't hear my brain thinking - that was me quoting the boy with the stuck tongue in A Christmas Story.

I seem to be stuck. I haven't moved out of the 211-212 range for over a week (not since Thanksgiving in fact). I know I have to step up my exercise - but I don't know if that is going to do the trick. I am so afraid that I am back into my normal mode for my body's reaction to a diet... Lose 6-10 pounds and then stop. I have been SO GOOD too! I haven't gone over the 20 carbs ONCE (except on Thanksgiving)! It is so frustrating! I was so excited when I was dropping weight quickly. I know it is inevitable that THAT wouldn't keep up - but I don't know if I will even do the slow, steady weight loss. I guess we will see tomorrow. I was 211.8 last Tuesday. I was 212 this morning. It is possible that I will drop two pounds tonight, but I am not counting on it. Even one would be good. Normal is 1% of your body weight a week - which for me would be 2.11 pounds. Sigh. Don't worry - I am not giving up - yet anyway.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Eating my lunch

It's only 11:30 and I'm eating my lunch. I couldn't figure out why I've been so hungry all morning (I ate my morning snack at 9:15 instead of 10:00) and it just hit me that it's probably because I've been up and moving so much longer than usual. Yesterday Connor woke up with a fever at 2 a.m., then today he was up at 4:00. I was hungry for breakfast at 5:30 but forced myself to wait (only drinking coffee) until 6:45, but that didn't fool my stomach one bit--it knew I had been burning calories at a faster-than-normal rate for an extra couple of hours today.

But I'm really going to regret this when I run out of food at 3:00.

Everything has been boringly normal in terms of food and exercise and weight. I'm still at 133.4 to 133.6, still sneaking too many sweets but making up for it by running or walking the dog. Oh, I'm not going to the gym today. I was home with Connor yesterday and didn't run errands like I was supposed to, so I'm going to do them today. Maybe by doing that I won't be so hungry in the afternoon so I won't have to hit the vending machine. Right?

The next few days are going to be a minefield of bad eating--gala at work tomorrow night, then two birthdays to celebrate on Monday. I think I already reported that, didn't I? Not fair to have birthdays the day before weigh-in!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Week Three

I completely couldn't get on the blog yesterday. Did anyone else have a problem?

So - yesterday was my last day of induction. Today my weight was 211.6. So - officially I lost 8.2 pounds during induction. I am SO excited now - I get to expand my menu!!

Ironically - yesterday (just in time to finish induction) I got a big box of low carb baked goods. I told you about the company in Silver Spring, MD. Anyway - I ate a bagel right off (5.7g). It was SO GOOD! I was worried that it would be yucky - but it wasn't. I did not bring a sandwich for lunch (maybe tomorrow). We made turkey pot pie for dinner last night (low carb Bisquick) and have leftovers of that. The bread looks really good though. I also bought two bread machine mixes. I hope they are good too.


So - I went grocery shopping last night to prepare for my off induction menu today. I didn't get much (I am not actually changing all that much) but I bought strawberries and macadamia nuts. I sliced up the strawberries when I got home. There was one that looked bad - so I was going to throw it away - I took a bite of the not bad side - and OMG!! YOU HAVE GOT TO TRY THAT! Don't eat any sugar for two weeks and then eat a strawberry. It was THE BEST strawberry I have ever tasted. I am holding off on eating them now - but maybe I won't wait much longer.

My goal for the NEXT two weeks is to still stick to 20g of carbs a day (maybe go to 25) and just add in allowed fruits and nuts. I also am going to start officially allowing cottage cheese and ricotta cheese in limited quanties.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

DOWN! and a little bit up

I was 211.8 today. That is 8 pounds down from the day I started Atkins - but still way to high by my standards. I finish induction on Thursday. My weight yesterday and Sunday were each about half a pound up from where I was on Saturday - so I was glad to see that I was down this morning.

I don't know how long I can stick to this diet. I don't hate it quite as much as others I have done in the past - but I am so sick of meat and cheese and eggs. The book and the websites I have read all say that by the end of induction you don't miss the sugar (or bread). I think that is BS. Or at least partially BS. I am not craving sugar and bread like I was a week ago - but I want to eat them - just for the variety! I found a website of a company in Maryland that sells low carb breads and pastas and mixes. I ordered a bunch of stuff. I ordered some bread machine mixes to make for Emily's fondue (yum!). I also ordered some bagels (to go with my cream cheese and smoked salmon). I got a waffel mix (although I need to find some sugar free syrup that I can stand - How DO you make syrup without sugar??) I hope all of these will help me stick with this for a while longer. The loaves of bread are 2.5g per slice - which means two slices are still less than my current low carb bread. I hope it isn't disgusting! I want to make a peanut butter and pickle sandwich!

I took my measurments the day I started, and then again on Sunday. I have lost an inch and a half from my thigh! I have lost everywhere except my arm (it was the same). I don't know about my chest though, because I think I must have had my tape measure upside down, because I wrote down 34". I don't think my chest has EVER been 34".

I have been very lazy about exercise - I walked on the treadmill for 22 mintes the other day - have a faster pace, but lower incline. I felt really good afterwards. I want to work in the DC tonight - so I don't know if I will exercise tonight or not. I have to dig out my exercise videos and start up with them again. I will nudge Katie too. Maybe she will do them with me to help motivate me.

I'm a SuperTaster!

I read an article this weekend that said 25% of people are supertasters, 50% are normal, and 25% are non-tasters. Supertasters have a high density of a certain type of bump on their tongues, and it makes them especially sensitive to certain foods. Bitter things are overly bitter -- thus explaining why it took me so long to learn to tolerate coffee and why I'm very picky about my beer, and why I can't stand vinegar or grapefruit or olives, and why there are so many vegetables that I dislike or merely tolerate (like broccoli and asparagus -- I always get strange looks when I say I don't care for them) -- and we tend to loooove sweets. From what I've read we can learn to eat anything we really decide to (so that's why I can eat spicy things when a lot of supertasters can't) but it takes effort. The best description I've seen so far is that supertasters go into a restaurant and look over the menu and most things just aren't quite right -- this describes me to a T. Almost everything has something I don't quite like, so there are usually just a few things for me to choose from.

I think Daniel is technically a non-taster, classified as people who can't taste phenylthiocarbamide. I'm not sure if that is the same thing they checked in his college bio class; he can't taste alka-seltzer, though, and that's just weird. But he loves foods so spicy they melt through the container.

Anyway. I was 140.0 this morning, which isn't too bad considering Thanksgiving (and a lot of junk food) were in the middle of the last week. I went for a 2.5 mile walk on Sunday (gorgeous weather), with Mary on her skooter and Xander on his tricycle, so they kept me hopping. Yesterday I didn't exercise, though. Today I'll do better! I've been eating candy again -- yesterday and Sunday in particular I couldn't keep out of it (see above, re: supertaster). Today I'm doing well, though; I've only had breakfast (cereal, milk, OJ) and a snack of a clementine and a few tastes of applesauce.

Acceptable

133.4 this morning, and that was after being not-so-good yesterday and truly horrible all last week. Yesterday's exercise was good--three miles on the treadmill, 2.3 with Davey at night (btw, have you guys ever used mapmyrun.com to figure distances walked or run? It's pretty cool.). My food was good until about 4:00 in the afternoon when I ate a mint fudge cookie, then we ate out because we took the kids for haircuts. I had a turkey and bacon sub and a bunch of Connor's french fries. So overall I'm not too unhappy with my weight today.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Greedy pig dog

That's been me the past week. Not even starting with Thanksgiving, but rather with weigh-in--once I saw that 132.whatever, I figured that gave me free reign to eat everything in sight. Doughnuts and jelly beans and everything at Thanksgiving dinner and spaghetti with meatballs and leftover pecan pie and pumpkin cheesecake. Truly horrible. And to make it worse last week I went to the gym once and took Davey for a walk once and that was IT for my exercise until I got to the gym again today. I weighed myself over the weekend and I was 133.8 both times, but this morning I was back over 134 so I don't know what I'll be tomorrow. Usually since I'm back to my normal routine on Mondays I tend to go down a bit by Tuesday. I'm hoping for 133.8 again so at least I'll be at last week's goal weight!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Livin' La Vida Low Carb

I was looking around online at the stories of people who lost incredible amounts of weight after gaining incredible amounts of weight, and I ran across a pro-Atkins blog here on blogspot:

http://livinlavidalocarb.blogspot.com/


Amy, if you need inspiration, come hang out with that crowd. What was most interesting to me was the author's week-by-week weight loss summary -- after weeks of small-to-medium losses he had a sudden weight gain of 10 1/2 pounds, but then he kept going and is mostly losing again.

The real reason I'm posting the link, though, was that smack in the middle of the copious ads at the top of the page was a photo of a woman who looked a lot like I did at my starting weight (but with slightly darker hair, much nicer than mine, and dark brown eyes) and then an "after" picture of her looking a lot like I did last spring, and then the headline "EMILY LOST 35 POUNDS". Hee hee! I clicked through this (how could I not?) and she's 5'7" (an inch taller than me) and was 165 to start (5 lbs less than me -- but, frankly, I looked thinner at 170 than she did at 165, which is funny since I'm shorter) and 130 at the end (2.5 pounds less than my low point). It's like someone has stolen my story!

A quick summary of my recent events -- I did daily exercise of some sort or another up through Tuesday, but I've slacked off the last three days. Still, 8 days in a row after none at all for a month isn't bad, and I'll get back to it tomorrow, now that vacation is over. Mom, if you're reading this, I'm challenging you to do WATP -- or go for a real walk -- tomorrow! You have the DVD and each time you use it you justify the expense -- one use is a $15 exercise session, but the next makes them both $7.50, and the third time it drops to $5. After 15 uses it's totallly worth it. ;-)

Food wise I've been not-so-good since Wednesday as well. I was able to be healthy up through Tuesday, but then it all fell apart. I figure that it's Thanksgiving so I'm excused -- one bad day before and after is OK. Yesterday was particularly awful, as is to be expected, but today I've been throwing caution to the wind. I even had a real, live burger and fries from Wendy's for dinner. Eeek! Tomorrow I start over. Again.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving Day

Well, today starts week two for me on Atkins. I survived week one with very few cheats - NONE that I would really consider cheating. My weight today was 214.2 - which is over five pounds down from where I started last week - but as I said earlier today, I couldn't go much higher without exploding! (Which led to a gross discussion of how 600 pound people GET that way!)

So last week - no cheats. Today I was veery good at keeping my carbs really low through the day . I had an Atkins breakfast bar (2 grams) and then I made that Italian soup with chicken broth, spinach, egg and cheese. That was also probably about 2.5 grams. THEN dinner hit. I really did stick with JUST a spoonful of stuffing and potatoes. A little too much gravey, I had plenty of turkey (0 carbs) and greenbeans and carrots (not 0 carbs!). I would bet I ate about 20-30 grams of carbs JUST at dinner - but it is OK. It was Thanksgiving - and I will get myself back on track tomorrow. 8-(

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Confessions...

I have started typing this post about 25 times and have just never completed it. So here's the deal:

I moved out last weekend. I now have an apartment in Mt Washington right by Whole Foods. Joe & I have been having some problems for a while, and I just finally got tired of living so awkwardly. I cannot speculate at this point what will happen. Life will be going on 1 day at a time for a while.

My new cell # is 410-925-7203. I do not have a home phone yet. I also do not have a scale. That is on my Target list for the next time I get out that way. If any of you are bored at any point in time, feel free to call and stop by. It is really weird living alone. I do have the dog, but he is having a little bit of a tough time adjusting.

And for the record, pretty much no one knows about any of this, and I'd like to keep it that way. I have only recently starting telling even those I see on a daily basis what is going on.

So there, it's out.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Back Where I started

Like Sarah, I was disappointed by my loss this morning. I was 215.2 - which is over two pounds down from last week and the week before - but I am disappointed because that is only .2 pounds down from my weight LAST SEPTEMBER. I have been amazingly good on Atkins. I guess because the whole diet feels like a big cheat to me. It is backwards - I have to limit my vegtables when I pack my lunch - but I used real mayo, cream cheese and half and half for the rest of it. It makes no sense. I am also a little disappointed with my weight today because my starting weight on Thursday (when I went on Atkins) was 219.8!!!!!!!!!!! So - I dropped three pounds between Thursday and Saturday - another three pounds between Saturday and today would have been really nifty.

My period started - which I AM SURE did not help me with my cravings for sweet and snacky foods. I am holding out hope that the cravings will go away ultimately - but I somehow doubt it. I am amazed at how tolerant I have become of artifically sweetened things (only lightly sweetend though, beyond that and it still makes me gag). So maybe - after my period is really underway - I will drop my usual four pounds for that! 8-) That would still only take me to 211-ish - which is still much higher than I should be right now. Sigh. I am hoping this diet will kick in with a vengence soon - because I really don't like it much. Of course, on the flip side of that - if it doesn't work either - I can go back to eating real food - with no fat. I am SICK of fat! I have been eating low fat for so long that I really just don't enjoy full fat foods anymore.

I had this bright idea that I could eat cream cheese - duh! So my most recent search was for a low carb pumpkin cheese cake. There are a lot of them! I am going to make THAT for my Thanksgiving dessert. They range from 0-5g of carbs per serving. You can make it with a pecan crust. Nuts TECHNICALLY aren't allowed in the first two weeks - but you are supposed to add them in after two weeks if you continue at the induction level of 20g carbs per day. I am thinking I will stay there - but I am going to add in other low carb foods. The way it is supposed to work is you are supposed to increase your carb intake to 40-60g per day (or until you stop losing weight, and then you drop it back by 5g per day to do ongoing weight loss). However, I have been having pretty much no problem staying at or below 20g - but I would like to add in some low carb fruits (berries mostly), cottage cheese, ricotta, and - of course, nuts. So that is my goal for myself - after I finish the next 8 days. I am on day six right now - so I am pretty proud of myself for not cheating ONE TIME (except for the drink and the cottage cheese).

I have to start exercising again. I have slacked off in the past two weeks. My knees have really been bothering me. I feel like it must be psychosomatic since I hadn't noticed anything before the trainer at the gym pointed it out to me - but last night I was testing it. I really IS NOT in my head. I can high lift and bend my knee (like marching) but to squat and bend is very painful. Even to bend from my waist and bend my knees slightly is twingy. Walking is not painful - going up stairs is not painful, but sitting on a lower stair IS painful, and walking uphill is painful. It is very weird. I think I really hate getting old - and I hate it that it all seems to have started right away.

Denouement

After fretting for the past few days about whether or not my weight would stay at or below 133.8 this morning, I was actually a bit disappointed to see what the scale had to say today---132.4. Well, first it was 132.6 and I thought "that can't be right" so I reweighed myself three times, moving the scale each time, and each of the extra three times it came up 132.4. So I think my body was just messing with me yesterday, either that or I was retaining water yesterday and dehydrated this morning. I don't know. At least I get pie. What I don't know is what goal to set next--the 132 range was what I was going to set as my goal for January, figuring I couldn't expect to lose weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I guess now my goal is to just stay where I am. Boring goal. Not nearly so motivating as pie. Of course if I eat that pie, staying at 132.4 won't be easy.

Based on my food and exercise yesterday my weight today should be a pretty accurate reflection of what it really is--I ate normally (well, normal for a diet)--my usual daytime stuff, chicken pot pie for dinner (I only ate half, which is 335 calories right there), toasted marshmallows in the evening (toasted over the stove; at 45 calories for two it's really worth it!). I was a bit hungry at bedtime, but not unusually so. Total calories were just over 1300. I drank 34 ounces of water on top of my usual coffee and milk intake, so I shouldn't have been dehydrated at all. I went to the gym, but the workout was actually a bit less than I usually do--the treadmills were all taken when I got there so I spent the first 5 minutes on an elliptical machine. My knees were killing me on that (I know it's supposed to be better on your joints, but as soon as I started up, my knees started aching) so when a treadmill became available I switched over and my knees were killing me on THAT too. And my normal pace felt like too much--don't know what was up with that except maybe I was just tired since I didn't sleep well on Sunday night. Anyway, I cut back the speed a bit so didn't go as far as I usually do.

So there it is--I get pie AND stuffing and next week I'll be 135 again.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Posting while I can remember my food

OK, food for today: Breakfast was Maple Pecan Crunch, my least healthy cereal, but OK for fiber, at least. Probably 300 calories total, more than my usual. Then nothing at all until lunch, which was a Wendy's Turkey and Basil Pesto Frescatta (420 calories, it turns out, more than a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, but higher in fiber, and it doesn't beg for fries) and about four fries, and one chicken nugget (46 calories). About a 500 calorie lunch, ouch. Then nothing at all until dinner, which was more food than I would normally eat whilst dieting -- a slice (but only one) of spinach-stuffed flank steak, with a bit of extra stuffing, and some barley, and sauce, and a glass of milk, and a glass of shiraz, and a salad of lettuce and miscellaneous vegetables with no dressing. And then a rather large brownie. All very scrumptious but I'm certain I'm well past 1200 calories for the day.

I haven't exercised yet but I've brought WATP with me, and as soon as the kids are asleep (I'm in the room while Cecilia tries to settle) I'll go do that. Tomorrow I'm going for a REAL walk! I brought my running clothes but forgot the bra, which is kind of the most crucial part for me. Phooey. Oh, well, I can't run on Springdale hills anyway!

Off The Grid

I have been wanting to post all weekend - but Katie and I are currently off the grid. I am not sure what is going on. Our phone - I don't THINK it has been disconnected - gives you nothing but a busy signal. Our internet is not connecting. For some reason MY laptop (even though I was piggybacking on another wireless set up) STILL wasn't connecting - although Katie's would - but not consistantly. I am not sure what all is going on.

ANYWAY - I am not sure if this crazy diet is working or not. I was down on Saturday to 216.8 and then yesterday to 215.4 (my original starting weight!!). Today I was 216.2. So - definitely down from where I started on Thursday - but still a LONG way to go.

I am not sure if I cheated or not this weekend. If I did it wasn't on purpose. I had cottage cheese yesterday. I am getting SO SICK of meat. I know prior to this I have been kind of off meat - but I am really running out of ideas to fill meals. Anyway - cottage cheese is on the list as pretty low carb (2 to 4g per half cup). But I swear I saw somewhere that you shouldn't have cottage or ricotta cheese during the first two weeks. I can't find that statement again - and I can't think of a reason why. The other "cheat" is that Katie and I went to Bonefish on Saturday. That wasn't the cheat part - Bonefish is the PERFECT restaurant for Atkins. But I did have a vodka collins (only one!). Alcohol - Tom Collins' specifically too - is low carb (about 2.5) - but they do tell you NOT to have that during induction. BUT - in my defense, I didn't KNOW about the no alcohol (I just looked up the carb count prior) until I was looking for the note about cottage cheese. Anway - I am having a glass of wine on T-day regardless!!

Speaking of which - I am going to plan my menu tonight so I won't slip too much... BUT - I have been working on perfecting the Atkins approved pumpkin pie. I made a version of the egg custard last night - where I included actual pumpkin (about 2 g per serving) and a smidge of Splenda. It turned out gray. I am not sure why. It tasted pretty good though. So - I will be eating gray pudding while the rest of you are eating pecan pie. Hummmmmmm. Maybe I will just stay home! 8-b

I have been running around today so I have only eaten breakfast so far - which was three pieces of bacon, two hard boiled eggs and a cheese stick. My stomach just growled though, so I guess I will eat my chicken salad and lettuce now.

If ANYONE can think of any interesting (non greasy - the fat is really bugging me, thus the cottage cheese) low carb ideas, spit em out! I am tired already of what I have been doing!

This one's going to be a nail-biter.

Will I "make weight" tomorrow or not? When I first stepped on the scale this morning it read 134.2 (after flashing on 134.0 for a second). Next weight was 133.4. Next two weights were 133.8. After my shower, I was 134 even. I tend to weigh myself until I get the same reading several times in a row, so that's probably 133.8 for today--the minimum I need for pie. But tomorrow, who knows?

Last night I did pilates, so I managed to exercise six out of seven days last week. I had two toasted marshmallows for a snack (toasted over the stove--they taste better that way than plain), so my total calories for the day was under 1200. With my exercise and food this past week I *should* easily have lost a pound or more, but weight comes off much more slowly these days.

Today I've had a bowl of oatmeal and coffee for breakfast, almonds and raisins for snack. Getting to the gym should be easily accomplished too. I better be 133.8 or lower tomorrow!

Whew!

Last night when I weighed myself before bed I was at 142.0, which had me worried -- every once in a while my weight fails to drop overnight (which mostly reflects the limits of precision on my scale), and I feared last night was going to be one of those nights. But this morning I was 140.5, down two pounds from last Tuesday. Since I can't weigh in tomorrow, that's official. Hooray! Dessert for me!

I don't know if I'll manage to exercise today or not -- it's going to be tough since we'll be on the road. But I have sworn to exercise every other day this week. I've had six days in a row of exercise. We'll see if I can keep that going!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

No wiggle room

My weight the past two mornings has been 133.8--I can't go up from there (at least not on Tuesday!) without suffering the consequences on Thursday. At least it looks like I'll be o.k. to eat stuffing!

I've been really good with my food all weekend. Why is it that you can't remember what you ate one day later? I know yesterday's breakfast was oatmeal. I can't remember lunch at all. Dinner was vegetarian lasagna, and I only had half a piece. What was lunch? It's going to dive me nuts that I can't remember. I had no snacks in the morning and had some pretzels in the afternoon. In the evening my stomach was growling from hunger so I had a bowl of fat-free popcorn.

Today I had oatmeal again for breakfast, cottage cheese, pears, and crackers for lunch, and a chicken and pasta with sundried tomato thing for dinner. I ate one of the few remaining bits of Halloween candy that's around (Skittles) but that was it for snacks. It's nice being legitimately hungry for meals. I'm at just under 1,100 calories for the day so far today, so I have some calories "saved" in case I want a snack later.

Exercise Friday was great--three miles on the treadmill, then a two mile walk with Davey. Yesterday was just a short walk (30 minutes) with Davey. Today, nothing so far (unless you count laundry and dusting. Yes, I dust once in a while.) but I'll probably do pilates later to round out the week. Or walk Davey--he hasn't been out yet today for a walk.

Hanging on until weigh-in

This morning my weight was 140.5. Just one more day until it counts.

Last night we had pizza AGAIN for dinner -- this time it was take-out. I don't know how we get stuck on pizza like this. But I was very proud of myself -- I ate only one piece even though it was really amazingly good. I also only ate one fun-size candy bar all day yesterday.

Today I find myself craving sweets. I had no food until brunch at 11:30, and then I had a glass of milk and ate one waffle and one piece of bacon. And then another piece. And another and several other nibbles over the next couple of hours, and later a second waffle. So much for willpower. Since then I've had two rounds of almonds, seven animal crackers, a hershey kiss (dark chocolate, supposedly orange flavor, but it doesn't taste at all orange, but it's still yummy), and two quarters of pears. The first quarter was extremely yummy. Didn't satisfy my craving for sweets, though, so that's why I ate the animal crackers. They didn't work either. I bet I'm actually thirsty, not really craving sweets. Hmm. Tonight for dinner I'm having leftovers and will probably go for the taco soup, because I've had enough of chicken and pizza for the week, and it actually has some vegetables, which I'm sorely lacking. And I'm going out for coffee and will have a non-fat latte, but that's a few more calories.

I haven't exercised yet today; I still have to finish a project I'm working on, but then I'll WATP right quick. I won't do anything else today, though, because I'm still aching from the pilates from yesterday -- my abs hurt every time I laugh or cough, and my tailbone is bruised. Ugh.

Good thing I'm posting here -- I would have forgotten to exercise!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

And up again

Today my weight was back up to 141.5. That means I have no wiggle room at all! That's a pound down from Tuesday. I was at 140.0 again after my shower, so that's promising.

Yesterday I did a Buns of Steel Platinum workout -- about 30 minutes of aerobics and 20 minutes of toning, though it's the beginner tape so there's a lot of talk, talk, talk through the toning and it's not a true 20 minutes of work. Today I got moving early and did WATP for 30 minutes and followed it up with Pilates for Dummies. When I first did this Pilates tape it was when I'd been doing a lot of other exercise and I'd done some other Pilates, so this didn't seem that hard, except for the usual problems stemming from being comically short waisted. Today it was frustrating -- my neck got very sore so I had a hard time focusing on the exercises themselves. But it's another symptom of my overall lapse in fitness.

Food yesterday included a leftover pizza slice for lunch (from the 8" pizzas we'd made the night before), and then at dinner we did pizzas again -- this time the crust had a tiny bit of sugar, salt, and olive oil in it because it had been too bland, but that made it probably higher in calorie -- and I ate three of my slices. So that's a whole 8" I ate during the day, which isn't all that good for me! I had popcorn after dinner, though I kept my eating mostly in check, and it was light popcorn. But candy yesterday was great (by my standards) -- I only had two of the tiny-sized candy bars (a Baby Ruth and a Milky Way). I had pretzels I think only one time, and I think three rounds of almonds. I ate one banana and I think that was it for fruit, except the breakfast OJ. I did eat half a bell pepper, leftover from the pizza fixings. It's already almost 4 today so details about yesterday's food are fuzzy, but you get the drift -- mostly good, but rather high fat choices for meals, and a little more than necessary. I didn't have a beer when I could have, though.

Today so far I've had a bowl of Lucky Charms (no OJ, forgot to thaw it), a banana, one round of almonds, 6 oz of yogurt (I hate that they all have tiny containers now), a few bites of macaroni and cheese, and one serving of pretzels. I eat so little in the first half of the day, and then after 5 I take in the majority of my calories for the day -- not a good way to operate, but not likely to change.

Friday, November 17, 2006

I can do this!

I am really craving carbs. I have read the books and the websites and stuff and I know they all say that everyone reacts differently - and after the first several days it is no big deal... but I am really missing the carbs. At least that is what I think my problem is. I am feeling very dehydrated. I have been drinking water like crazy and it doesn't seem to help. I was up twice during the night to go to the bathroom. Maybe I WILL actually lose some water weight.

I survived

My first day of Atkins wasn't what I expected AT ALL! I expected to be pretty happy with eating all protein, no carbs - but I was more hungry (or more specifically - unsatisfied) yesterday than I have felt in over a year! As I said, by the end of the day I was STARVING! and I had no food left to eat. This could partially be because I am PMS-y - but I think it is more that I am used to feeding myself sugar in some form or another all day. The greenbeans we had for dinner were SO GOOD because of my lack of sugar. I can say though, that the sugars I am craving really are fruit ones now... I want applesauce!

Last night Katie and I had baked chicken and baked green beans. This was a Let's Dish dinner. Katie baked my green beans without the breading - but they were good anyway. By the end of dinner I was at 9 carbs for the day. No wonder I was starving! I then had an Atkins bar (3 carbs) which was surprisingly good (or maybe I was just desparate). It is sweetened with Sucralose - which I think is Splenda. I could hardly tell. It made my throat slightly warm - but I didn't get the nasty after taste that I usually notice from artifical sweetners. Then I did a test run of my vanilla flan with pumpkin pie spices. It needs sugar. It was very bland. I am going to try it again with a smidge of Spenda. I ate the one warm last night - and it may be better cold. I have two more to eat. It was good as an egg dish, but not as a dessert. Sigh. I then ate another cheese stick - and that was it for the day. I went to bed feeling like I wanted to eat more food - but not feeling hungry per say.

Today I forced myself to wait for breakfast until about 10:30 (hopeing I won't eat everything in sight by noon today). I had a pieces of low carb bread (6! seems decadent now) with cream cheese and smoked salmon. It was really yummy. I have chicken salad on lettuce for lunch again - and two string cheeses (I ate one at around 9am, I just remembered) pickles, and hard boiled eggs for snacks. I also brought another Atkins bar with me. I am supposed to work in the DC tonight (they are back logged) so I hope all of that will last me until I get home.

Plateau

I was so much enjoying my three-pound drop in two days that this morning's weight of 140.0 was a real disappointment. I still just need to maintain for another three days to qualify for dessert on Thursday, but I was hoping to stay south of 140. I'll just have to keep on being good for a few days -- but that's what I expected anyway. More than a few days -- I know I should keep on being good for the rest of my life. But that's too hard to think about.

Yesterday I only did the 15 minute WATP. Bedtime with the kids took 2 1/2 hours (Cecilia refused to go to sleep or even stay in her bed if I left the room) so I was busy with that until 10:30, at which point I was already half asleep, and then Daniel called, so it was after 11 before I got to exercise. By then I was three-quarters asleep and I was not enjoying the prospect of exercise, but I made myself do the minimum. That woke me up enough that I probably could have done the second mile, but I didn't realize it until after I'd stopped, wide awake at 11:30 at night.

My food yesterday was about the same as it's been this week, or maybe not quite as good -- my usual breakfast, lunch of honey-wheat pretzels, yogurt, and almonds (the grownup version of honeybread, cheese, and peanuts?), and snacks of almonds (two times), a banana, a bit of applesauce (Alexander left his behind, and I hate to see it go to waste, but it wasn't much to begin with), and a few candies (a fun-size 3 Musketeers, something small at lunch, and a nibble of dark Mr. Goodbar, I think). For dinner we did make-your-own pizzas because I wanted something fun with the kids (I was tired of leftover chicken), but I tried to do mine up healthy -- rather than use the store-bought crust I made a quick whole-wheat crust (flour, 1/4 cup water, 1/2 t quick-rise yeast; it was ready in 30 minutes tops, including the prep, but it was bland, so next time I'll add a bit of sugar and salt), I loaded it with green peppers and put leftover chicken on it and only four pieces of pepperoni (about 10 calories apiece!) and a very light sprinkling of cheese. Then I only ate half the 8"-ish pizza so I have that ahead of me for lunchtimes, which is fun. I think that was about 300-400 calories for dinner (it would have been a huge meal if I'd eaten the whole thing). I also had milk to drink. Oh, phooey, I also had about 3 or 4 pieces of popcorn shrimp -- Alexander talked me into buying that and then he put a bunch on his pizza, breading and all. Xander is like Kirsten about shrimp!

Today I've had raisin bran and OJ so far, and a drip or two of applesauce. The reason for all the applesauce is that Mary is taking fish oil supplements but can't swallow tablets, so I mix it in there, which means the other kids want applesauce, too. Amy, I feel guilty every time I post now -- so much of my diet is carbs when I eat well! If it's any consolation, this is the store bought, no sugar added stuff, so it's not all that good!

And another side note: I discovered raisin bran is much more caloric and higher in sugar than Lucky Charms. I've been eating the former because it's full of fiber, which I need, but maybe I should be eating more Lucky Charms? ;-)

Daily update

I eventually did pilates last night. I soooooo didn't want to. By the time I finished up getting the kids in bed, loading the dishwasher, and packing lunches it was 10:50 but I pulled out the DVD and did the abs workout anyway. My abs need all the help they can get. After finishing up I remembered that Connor's nurse was coming today for his IVIG so I had to quickly straighten up so the house wasn't such a wreck. I'm not sure if all that was worth it--the house was still messy when I was finished and today I'm tired, my throat is sore, and my abs hurt. Whine, whine, whine. Oh, and for dinner last night I ate lunch since I had had dinner food at lunchtime. I had a mock cinnabon (cottage cheese, walnuts, cinnamon, sugar), four crackers, and an apple. Later I had milk and cookies. My weight this morning was 133.6.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Missing Carbs

I really didn't think this was going to bother me at all... I mean you all KNOW I don't eat my breakfast until noon most days... But today I ate breakfast as soon as I got here and everything else by 1:30 (my chicken salad was really good BTW). BUT - today my boss decided to order pizza for us all since we were all working so hard (mostly ME! I am having one of THOSE days). Luckily I have to be in the mood for pizza - which I am not today. But I was hungry and out of food - and everything we have kicking around is very high carb. So (gosh I feel like a vulture!) I picked the pepperoni and cheese off of a piece of pizza and ate that. That sort of helped - but I still feel like I am missing something. Well - yeah - SUGAR. I was reading Emily's blog and got a huge craving for applesauce. Sigh. (I can have applesauce in about a month.)

Anyway - I expect the shock to my system will have the reverse affect of the experience Emily and Sarah are having. I fully expect to be up over 220 tomorrow.

Emily - you are right. My weight jumped dramatically about a week after I quit smoking. I went from about 209-ish to 219-ish in just about a month. BUT - I went from 209 at the beginning of October to 215 a week later. It was very sudden.

Quick post

I'm not going to have time to get to the gym again today, but my low-calorie diet of the past few days has helped a bit. I was down to 134.4 yesterday and 133.4 today, although like Emily I think that has more to do with the shock to my system. Skipping my afternoon and evening snacks yesterday brought my calorie intake in right around 1,000 for the day. I'll rebound tomorrow as a result of today's lunch--the college's Thanksgiving lunch (gross cafeteria version, but even just picking at it was bad for you--gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, turkey). Breakfast was oatmeal, almonds and raisins for snack in the morning. No clue what's for dinner.

Can you tell I'm on the wagon again?

This is my third day of posting in a row. My weight this morning was down another pound! Would that it were always so easy! I know this is going to come back to bite me -- this is just the initial flush from my system being shocked by the reduction in sugar and food and the abrupt increase in motion. It will suddenly shut all systems down on Sunday and I'll gain five pounds before Monday morning's weigh-in. Just wait.

Yesterday's food was pretty good again. I had my usual breakfast (back to being usual, even -- that's OJ again!), lunch of yogurt and a tiny dish of macaroni and cheese (it's the gross kind anyway), dinner of chicken and green pepper slices with milk to drink. I had snacks of
almonds (three times, so one serving total), pretzels (I think just one round, maybe a little more), a banana, and I think something else healthy-ish but I can't recall what, so maybe not. Did I have applesauce yesterday or was that the day before? Oh, I did have some yesterday evening -- a small dish. I wasn't quite as good on the candy, but still MUCH better than I had been -- I had a fun size Almond Joy and a fun size Heath bar (what is wrong with my kids that they don't like Heath bars??) and a teeny Baby Ruth that Cecilia rejected, and I think I had a Snickers, too. Wow, that adds up to probably a whole candy bar, and that's a lot. I can't do that again today.

I did WATP again last night -- I meant to do the 2 mile but I accidentally started the 1 mile and didn't realize it until they picked up the arm thing too early, so after I got to 1 mile I joined in the middle of the 2 mile. That means I the walking wasn't quite as intense but I did extra arm work, so presumably it evens out.

Today I will probably WATP again because that's just too convenient -- and I can put on my iPod and ignore what they're talking about, because they really sound like a long infomercial. I suppose I could do some aerobics instead but that takes longer and I can't do the iPod thing. Hmm. If the kids are awake I'll do the aerobics but if I put it off to bedtime I'll just walk. My iPod batteries are dying, though, and Daniel swiped my connector by accident, so it's in Connecticut, which doesn't do me a lot of good.

My food today so far is just breakfast -- I've been too busy to snack. Yesterday was easier than the day before because I was busy then, too. It helps.

What was I thinking???

OK - I officially started Atkins today. I have had two hard boiled eggs and a string cheese so far. I have bacon also from my breakfast, but I have to go heat it up and I haven't yet. I have chicken salad on lettuce for lunch, then pickles and anothe cheese stick for a snack this afternoon. I have had half caff coffee with HALF AND HALF (what is wrong with this diet!) for breakfast also. I was supposed to go out to dinner with some friends tonight - but luckily it was postponed until Monday. Good thing - I would have hated the temptation on my first day!! Speaking of which - my boss brought bagels this morning - and then our first delivery of the holiday baskets came a bit later. Sigh. Why couldn't I have done this in JANUARY!??

Anyway - I have been worring about how Thanksgiving will go. I think it will be mostly OK. I may go over my carb alotment of 20g per day by a little bit. But turkey is zero, cheese is zero, green beans and carrots are low. I will have to skip stuffing and potatoes (boo hoo!) and rolls and dessert. Sigh. BUT - I discovered that custard (made with heavy cream, vanilla and eggs - but not sugar) is OK. I figure if I flavor it with pumpkin pie spice - it will be a pretty good substitute dessert.

I got a call from Barbara Ball (my regular doctor). I had my test results sent to her as well as Dr. Haber just to keep her in the loop. She said that my thyroid is enlarged, and it has noduleS - plural. The largest one is the one that he felt. She sounded mildly worried - but she is a serious, and sincere person - so she always sounds mildly worried. I left a message for Dr. Haber then to give me a call back. I was told that will probably be after 4:30. Dr. Ball said that Dr. Haber will let me know what he wants to do - but it would probably be either a biopsy or (blah, blah...) I am not sure what the second thing was - but it sounded like a futher test. She said the biopsy would be done by Dr. Haber, but the other thing would be done at the same place that did the ultra-sound. I don't know if any of this is contributing to my lack of weight loss -but part of me wants to say I TOLD YOU SO!!! On the other hand - it would REALLY suck if it doesn't contribute to my fattness, and I just have to go through all of this - well, just because. Ugh! I must say though, it would be nice if it can be fixed (or controlled) and I can eat like a normal person again. I am really not loving the idea of not getting to eat desserts, bread, candy, cookies, etc.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

So-so couple of days

Yesterday was a classic good day--good food, did pilates in the evening, total calories for the day were just under 1400 and all from healthy sources except four marshmallows.

Today has been insane. I'm still working on the grant deadline so I have a million things to do to finish that up, but I also had two meetings, a diversity event and a flu shot scheduled. And everything took longer than it should. The flu shot took two hours! I left and came back twice (while someone held my spot) and still sat and sat and sat. And now my arm hurts. And because of that, one of my meetings got moved. And then my afternoon meeting took an hour and a half. And then getting home took an hour and 20 minutes, so I went straight from work to the book fair at Claire's school instead of stopping at home first.

The upshot of all of this is that a)I didn't make it to the gym, but b)I hardly ate anything. I had my usual breakfast, snack, and lunch, but ate nothing between lunch at 12:30 and dinner at 7:00. I had white chili for dinner. If I can avoid snacking this evening, I should be o.k. for the day even if I don't get any exercise. Brian is out (first communion meeting then straight to work) so I don't think I'll get Davey out for a walk. I might do pilates again.

All too easy

I wish that were so! Yesterday I ate well all day and then I did one of those useless Walk Away the Pounds routines before bedtime. Actually, it wasn't that useless -- I did the 2 mile walk and I was quite stiff through it (though I'm not sore today; that would be really embarassing), and it felt so good to be moving again that I'm sure it did some good. This morning when I weighed myself I was 140.5 -- I haven't seen that weight in a while, it seems! That was a two pound drop from yesterday. Now to earn the pecan pie I just have to maintain that -- of course, that would assume it's real weight loss and not just water! So I'm going to have to knock myself out until Monday (my weigh-in is Monday because we're leaving town that day).

Food yesterday, as I said, was pretty good. I had OJ and cereal with milk for breakfast (used to be my usual but lately I haven't been drinking OJ). Lunch was a half sandwich of ham on whole wheat -- these are HUGE slices of bread so it's really almost a whole sandwich, and I put as much ham as I would on a whole one. Dinner was grilled chicken (I just ate a small part of a breast piece) and green beans, with skim milk to drink. During the day I had snacks of pretzels (several times), almonds (four times, eight each time, so 1 1/3 servings), a string cheese, and an apple. I wasn't completely perfect, because there is still a LOT of candy around (not helped by my having bought kisses for a Stampin' Up party), but given the circumstances my candy intake was excellent -- one plain chocolate kiss, half of Cecilia's teeny tiny Milky Way (she didn't like it, and it's a sin to let caramel go to waste), and about half of her mini Tootsie pop. I planned in advance that I could have the one kiss, but I put it off until the end of the day just in case it opened the floodgates -- fortunately, it didn't really.

Today I'm doing pretty well so far -- my usual breakfast, and as of lunchtime I've had a banana and 8 almonds. And I'll exercise tonight, though it will probably be something lame again!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Diet? What diet?

I haven't dieted in weeks. Not even exercise. I decided today that I'm starting a no-excuses exercise plan through Thanksgiving. I've been using not having a gym as my reason for not exercising but I haven't done anything to get myself there with or without Daniel, and last night I came downstairs from putting the kids to bed (they were completely in bed by 9, and Daniel's out of town) and thought, "I could exercise right now... No, I don't feel like it." Well, I'm NEVER going to feel like it. So I'm going to do it today whether I feel like it or not, just to get moving.

My weight this morning was 142.5. Again. Bleah. There it is. Sarah, I think I'll join you on the pecan pie challenge! (Eeek!)

134.8

It flashed up 134.6 this morning, but settled twice on 134.8. At least I'm down from last week and only up a slight amount from Friday's weight and back to within my acceptable range.

I was pretty good but not stellar over the weekend. Saturday was great--all healthy foods, all small portions, raked leaves for an hour, walked Davey for 3.5 miles. Then I came home from my walk and Brian had made cheeseburgers, fries, and green beans for dinner and served them with a Guinness. And then on Sunday we went to the Irish Festival, where I had fish and chips and more Guinness and later we made frozen pizza for dinner. So not stellar, as I said.

Yesterday I had my usual stuff during the day, went to the gym for the first time in over a week, had pasta, ham, and peas for dinner, and hot chocolate with marshmallows in the evening. I probably would have been 134.6 without those totally unnecessary calories.

Here's my challenge to myself: I need to lose a pound or more by weigh-in day next week. If I do that, I can have dessert on Thanksgiving. If I don't, then I don't get any pecan pie until Dad's birthday next year. And if I *gain* weight, I don't get any stuffing.

Up is down

This means that I was GLAD to see 217.4 on my scale this morning. I have been over 218 for the past several days - and so two pounds up from my original weight, and .4 pounds up from last weeks weight was a good thing. That is bad.

Katie has been thinking about doing Atkins with me. I tell her she doesn't have too - but she says it is easier than eating differently than me. I think she just likes to gloat because she loses weight while I don't. I don't care anymore. I am so sick of dieting - and yet getting fatter and fatter.

I haven't exercised since I got back from Ohio - and I won't be able to tonight either - I am meeting people at Bonefish right after work. I guess I could work out late tonight, but I know I won't. Well - since I am off tomorrow I will committ to exercising AS SOON as I get up in the morning.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Sick of it all!!

I was SO BAD this weekend. We went to Dresden for a Longaberger orgy. We left at 3:30am Thursday/Friday morning. I had to get up at 2am to do this. I did weigh myself - but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Fat, probably. Then we stopped for breakfast on the road at about 7am. I had a Sheetz Shm-bagel with egg, cheese, and bacon and a Starbucks Frappacino. Then they started handing out snacks on the bus about every 30 minutes. I was actually pretty good. I didn't eat the candy but I DID eat a bag of cheese curls. They also handed out breakfast (in a Holiday Tall Tissue basket - 8-)! which was a huge muffin, an apple, a Quaker granola bar and a juice box. I ate all but the apple (it was too green) over the course of the two days. We got to Dresden at about 11am. We shopped until about 1:30 - when we stopped for lunch at Popeye's - which in Dresden is the cute little c. 1950s diner. I had a grilled cheese sandwich with applesauce and sweet potato fries. I didn't finish my fries. We then had a mini sundae for dessert. It was the perfect size sundae (about two bites). Then we shopped some more. I bought a Lemonade and drank the whole 20oz bottle (I was very thirsty). We got back to the bus at about 5:30 and went to our hotel. We stopped at a liquor store on the way and I bought a six pack of Woodchuck - but only drank 1/2 of one. We went to dinner at SteaknShake - where I had a single cheeseburger, french fries (I ate about 1/3) and cottage cheese with pineapple. Then I had a HUGE milkshake (chocolate/cheesecake/malt). I was VERY FULL! We went to bed by 10pm where Julie assured me that I snored. 8-( I did wake up congested in the am and Saturday night I woke myself up with snoring too!!!! I hope this is a temporary situation. I didn't sleep well in the hotel (maybe it was my snoring that kept me awake. I finally got up at about 6:15am and went to the pool to read.

Saturday I had continental breakfast at the hotel - which for me was a sausage patty, fresh fruit and a cinnamon raisin biscuit. And coffee. Then when everyone else got I up I had another biscuit and more coffee. We then went to the Homestead which is where the Longaberger manufacturing facility is. I made my own basket - It was FUN! I shopped a little bit - and then we went to tea. Tea was excellent - and just enough food. Everything was mini sized - so you could eat a little bit of everything and not get too full. We got back on the bus at 3:30 and got boxed lunches for the ride home. I picked at mine - but finished it all before we got home. I had a chicken salad sandwich, a cookie, pasta salad and chips. No fruit now that I think about it. Oh well. Then they started with the snacks again. THIS time I had two mini candy bars, a package of Nutter Butters (although I didn't eat them until I was home!) and a bag of cheese curls. We stopped an McDonalds - but I didn't get anything. I don't think I ate anymore snacks after that either. They plugged us into a movie and that kept me occupied until we were home.

Yesterday I decided that I wanted to start Atkins sooner rather than later... My weight was 219! Way too close to 220!!! but I didn't finish planning my menus so I didn't start today the way I wanted to. So - I carbed up yesterday. I ate the last (I found more after the last time I said they were gone) of the Girl Scout cookies. Had BBQ pizza for dinner. That was it I think. Hummm, I thought I ate more yesterday.

Today I was 218.6 Or maybe it was 218 even again. I can't remember...

Friday, November 10, 2006

134.6 this morning

Now someone help me out to get through the weekend! This is what's been happening--I'm pretty good during the week and see a slight weight loss between Tuesday and Friday, then the weekend rolls around and I eat everything in sight and munch on snacks because there's nothing else to do and by Tuesday I'm back up to where I was before and then some! Every Friday I promise myself I won't do that again, but I do anyway. I don't know if I have the will power to break the cycle.

This week has been strange. I haven't taken a lunch break all week, which means I haven't exercised all week. I took Davey for one walk. That's it. I was planning to take him out last night but I was so achy I couldn't stand the thought, so Brian took care of it. I'm going to force myself to walk him tonight. I'm hoping to get out early tomorrow to rake leaves before the rain starts--that should be a good workout. Next week will be more of the same. Until this grant is in on Friday, I can't get away from my desk to get to the gym. Well, I might be able to, but I can't plan on it.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Worse and worse

Yesterday in spite of my spitting on Tuesday night, my weight was only down a little bit - 216.4 (.8 before my shower). Then I did nothing but EAT all day. For some reason, a fasting blood test at 8am makes me very hungry. Actually - the ultrasound was at 8am and the blood work I did right after - but regarless - at9:30 when I was done with it all I was starving! I don't normally eat ANYTHING before noon or later - but I do have coffee and that fills me up. So - I stopped at BK on the way home, got a coffee and a crosandwich. FATTENING! Then, my boss wanted to take Kristy and me to lunch to thank us for our work on Halloween. We went to Oregon Grille. I wasn't hungry at noon (since I at fast food at 9:30 - so I ate fairly lightly. I had a bowl of split pea soup (I didn't finish it - it was too lemony) and then a lobster corn cake - which was about the size of a normal crab cake, and came on a bed of julienned veggies. I drank water.

Then last night TESSCO had an event at Raven's Stadium. We have just recently partenered with the Ravens and as such we were allowed to come in, play on the field, and have a party afterwards. I had 3/4 of THE WORLD'S BIGGEST HAMBURGER - with cheese, and a very small salad, four or five wedge fries, and an oatmeal raisin cookie for dessert. You know, this is all horrible - but now that I have written it out, it isn't as bad as I thought it was. I didn't eat anything else last night, but I spent the day feeling very full!

Today I had a seminar to attend that included lunch and breakfast. I had an egg sandwich and strawberries for breakfast, and then a salad, green beans, roast beef, a tiny little bit of pasta and a cannolli for lunch. I don't know what I am eating for dinner yet - but I am not at all hungry yet.

I have to go to bed in three hours because Julie and I are going to Longaberger tonight at 3 in the morning. I also have to do laundry, go to the bank and pack before I go to bed. I guess I should get on that.

My weight was so hideous this morning I am not going to admit it out loud........... OK - 218.2. I have to go on some sort of starvation diet.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I'm feeling lighter than air today

But I have no idea what my weight is--forgot to get on the scale this morning. But the Halloween candy is GONE (or at least the good stuff is) and the GS cookies are all safely frozen, and our fridge is full of healthy food, so I'm anticipating two weeks of healthy behavior before the holiday binge season hits.

I got out for a two mile walk with Davey in the rain last night, but so far no other exercise this week--horrible work deadline. I might get to the gym later today, but I'm not holding my breath. I'll try.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

154.0

No exercise, crappy food, lots of stress.

And I like sweet tarts...but not the orange ones.

Same ol' same ol'

I was 142.5 this morning, same as last week, still alarming. And I didn't get to the gym to sign up yesterday even though I'd sworn I would, because school went from breakfast until bedtime, no joke. I've never seen a less focused child. We started the fish oil on Mary again yesterday, because while I couldn't be certain it caused the improvement, the decline since we stopped it (we got lazy when she stopped having so many concentration problems) has been dramatic (though we've had travel and holidays which certainly contribute) and I wouldn't object if it even had a placebo effect on her!

So -- no exercise as usual, and so-so eating. I did actually leave food on my plate at dinner last night -- Daniel served my food and it was too much spaghetti, so I ate the sauce and only about half of the noodles. This is a big deal for me -- I'm not good at throwing food away!

Following Amy's lead

Maybe in honor of election day I can pretend I'm a candidate and LIE about my weight?

No dice. I'm too honest. I was 136.4 this morning. All that candy and last night's Pampered Chef party caught up with me finally. And I didn't make it to the gym yesterday (deadline--not going to make it today either. I have to get this proposal draft finished today, and I'm only on page 15 of 4o!), although I did manage five days of exercise last week. Maybe that kept me from gaining 3 pounds instead of the 1.4 I gained.

Brian and I went back to making up dinner menus for this week and next, so that means we'll eat a bit more healthy in the evenings. And we're down to the gross Halloween candy, so that's good. I can pass on lollipops and Sweet-Tarts (who buys them? Does anyone like them anymore, or is there a landfill somewhere that's just full of Sweet-tarts?).

In honor of election day

I think I will exercise my right NOT to post my weight this morning. Sigh. I was 217. AGAIN.

I exercised last night - 44 minutes on the treadmill, burned 405 calories. I ate poorly yesterday. I didn't eat anything (coffee and skim milk excluded) until about 1pm - when I ate my left over shrimp scampi and homemade applesauce (no sugar). Then I ate nothing more (a little pack of skittles and 8 candy corn) until dinner. Katie and I had baked chicken breast and green beans. Then I lost it - sort of - I had a lemon bar, and a Reeses PB Cup, Mounds, Almond Joy, and Three Muskateers and Kit Kat (all mini sized) spread out through the evening. Then I drank some water and went to bed. Oh! And I drank a cider.

That was my day. By the time I did my exercise at 6:30pm I had BURNED more calories than I had consumed. Granted - I consumed a lot more after that - but my net intake (figuring 80 calories per for the candy and 250 for the lemon bar) was 1480 consumed and 405 burned... so 1075 net. I don't usually have the candy around to eat - but otherwise my food intake was about typical.

OK - This is really bothering me now. I thought I was really bad yesterday. But - seriously, counting the cider and all of the candy - I was still under 1500. So - if yesterday was a BAD day - I wonder what my normal calorie consumption IS? When I was tracking it over the summer, I was shooting for 1200-1500 a day, and VERY RARELY did I go over 1500 - more often I hovered around 1300. But - like I said over the summer - I don't know what else I could cut out. Obviously the sweets from yesterday - but normally I don't eat that many. Normally my calories would come from cereal, and V-8.

I give up! Tonight I have to spit at midnight. Then tomorrow I am having my blood taken and my thyroid ultrasound done.

Monday, November 06, 2006

This started out as a comment in response to Emily's comment to my post a few days ago - so if you feel like you are coming in in the middle of the movie - well, you are.

I have DONE the dramatic calorie reduction thing. I was doing 1200 calories a day - with no affect for most of the time. It wasn't until I went to 900 calories or less daily (back right before the cruise) that I saw any results - and that was also only short term. It was also very hard to maintain - I was tired all the time. I then quit smoking - and that reversed any affects of weight loss from no food.

Hunger isn't my problem - I hardly EVER feel hungry - regardless of how much or little I eat. Which is why I can go all day and not eat anything - and then not be super inspired to fix a healthy meal, but stick to snacks all evening. That is what I addressed with our new way of eating last September.

As to exercise – Emily, I was going to the gym at least three times a week, if you look at my charts for Jan, Feb and after my cruise up through May – I was exercising four or five days a week. I work out on the treadmill – the bike doesn’t do enough for me – or doing fairly intense weight training, for months – and again saw too little results to make that worth the effort. Now that I have the treadmill at home – six days a week – 43 minutes a session – on a 6% incline, 3.5 miles an hour (it says I burn 400 calories) is what I do. I feel like my ab muscles are missing out… but my leg muscles look great – and still I am gaining weight.

Emily – I know I shouldn’t be offended by your comments, but I feel like you look at me and say, well maybe if you try to eat less and exercise you would lose weight. I have been trying that for YEARS – way before our blog started - and it hasn’t worked. Jenny Craig only worked the first six weeks for me, but I stuck with it for close to a year, same with this current diet. I have little faith that Atkins will work for me either. When I do the fad diet things I stick to them to the letter – and I don’t see the results that everyone else does. I have done Fat Flush several times. Katie, Kristy, and Lynne ALL lose weight on that – and if you look at their total body weight they lose a fairly decent percentage of their weight – I lose three pounds. That is a low cab, low calorie, low fat diet – that starts out for two weeks and then phases in more foods – like Atkins, or South Beach – and it doesn’t work for me.

I have to do something though, this morning I was up to 217. I should never have quit smoking. That did me absolutely NO GOOD – I gained 8 pounds the first time, and 7 pounds (so far) this time. I am never going to quit again!


I know I have been particularly bad lately. I have a “going down in flames” attitude that isn’t good. I have to redirect myself –and maybe doing Atkins is the way to do it. I wanted to do Fat Flush again – but I already KNOW that doesn’t work for me. I know too that I have to plan EVERY crumb that I eat for at least the first two weeks of Atkins, because eating no carbs will be hard for me – at least at first. After the first two weeks you reintroduce “good carbs” into your diet – but I haven’t quite figured out what that is… mostly fruits and vegetables – and nuts. I am really curious how I would respond to Atkins. I spent most of this weekend reading the book. I am worried about bad breath and constipation. You start out with 20 grams of carbs a day (very hard I think!) and then go to 40-60 grams for the bulk of the diet. Once you get to the maintenance phase you add in more carbs (5 grams a week until you start to gain again and then you back it down again...) It freaks me out though – I can’t have milk (which is OK since I can’t have cereal) but I CAN have light or heavy cream and cheese. Hummmmm. I can’t have caffine – but I can have decaf coffee – with heavy cream. Maybe I will survive after all.