I've been home with snow and sickies and not able to post because sickie #1 whammed his head so hard into the computer monitor on the laptop that the glass cracked (seriously, they are going to send APS - Apple Protective Service - after us and put our computer in foster care), and the desktop is so clunky that it won't let me on this site to post.
So here's the deal: on Tuesday I weighed 150.4, which I think is holding steady from my weight earlier this month but I can't remember. In any event, it isn't good and I need to get rid of the winter flab I've put on, but I have no idea how to find the time to exercise. I don't have lunch breaks anymore (they'll start up again when Brian's temp job ends in a few weeks) and Connor is now sleeping roughly two or three hours a night so there's no way in hell I'm getting up early to exercise, and by the time I get home at night and get everything done that needs to get done I'm too exhausted to do anything more than lay on the sofa and beg Connor to go to sleep! He's not swayed, and then he steals my blankets. He doesn't like people covered in blankets.
OTOH, if we could just keep getting 10 inches of heavy, wet snow, that would be ideal. I had a great workout shoveling out the sidewalks and cars yesterday! Nearly an hour of cardio and weight work, and I'm paying for it this morning with a sore back. Think how great my back muscles would be if I had to do that a few times a week!
But here's my plan--I need to lose ten pounds in 12 weeks, or else I'm donating $25 to Sarah Palin. I figure that'll be motivation enough to make me starve myself if necessary for the last couple of weeks to achieve that weight if it comes to that. So I have until April 19 to get down to 140.4, even if I have to put on trash bags and run on the treadmill to lose six of those pounds in water weight on April 18. I considered making the donation to someone/thing less annoying, like a charity I don't really support or someone like Mike Huckabee who scares me politically but who I think is kinda funny and engaging (at least he was on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me) but I need something REALLY motivating, so Sarah Palin it is.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
143.5
I've settled right back into my low-140s range, post-Christmas. I'm glad it didn't stay permanently in the upper 140s but I know it's not going to go anywhere good if I don't get some exercise. I think this afternoon I'm going to go try to get my bike; if I wait, we'll be back into the horrible weather, so I need to jump on this one good day. But having it won't help, if the weather's no good -- I need to get back to exercising at the gym. I hate feeling flabby but I can't seem to kick my motivation back into line.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Dear Shifted Orbit:
Sorry, this was too long to fit in the comment box!
I think it’s natural for anyone, when faced with a new situation in their life, to seek out information from and camaradarie with people who are knowledgeable about that situation. And some situations are more unfamiliar and more all-consuming than others, plus some *people* are more apt to completely throw themselves into their new situation than others (think of bridezillas—some people, when they are planning a wedding, don’t get all hyper-focused on the details of the wedding and some people throw themselves into the planning like it’s an Everest expedition.).
Pregnancy is one of those situations, and I think it’s more likely to be all-consuming, even for generally reasonable people, than most things. First of all, you want to make damn sure you don’t do anything to screw it up because this is another person’s life you’re talking about, plus biologically your body makes sure this is not something you can forget for even a minute—you spend your first trimester feeling vaguely ill and unbearably sleepy ALL THE TIME, then someone starts kicking you from inside, then the third trimester is really odd because not only is your body taken over, which you’ve gotten used to by then, but your brain is too—it’s nearly impossible to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. And all the while, you’re also doing the equivalent of planning a wedding—rearranging your life and home so a baby can fit into it (making a decision about work, finding childcare, getting a bedroom ready, figuring out how you’re going to add the equivalent of a second mortgage into your monthly budget, etc.).
Think about life decisions that you’ve made that you knew would have a big impact on you—these are things you probably didn’t make a snap decision on, and they probably DID affect how you interacted with people (and who you interacted with). Even something like getting a dog—I’m sure there are some people who see a cute dog in a store and go in and buy it without thinking for a second what they are getting themselves into (these people are also the ones that tend to turn their puppies in to the rescue organizations after a while) but most people, and all reasonable people, are going to seek out information, so they will start talking to people who own dogs to find out about different breeds, and how to crate train, and how to find a good vet, and how much does it really cost, etc. And then they get a dog and spend months having to run home at lunch to let it out of the crate, and they take time off of work for vet visits, and they have less time in their days for other activities because they have to budget time for walking and grooming, and even have to get up earlier each day to feed the dog and let him outside for a while.
Switch that dog to a baby and you’ve got some idea of what’s going on with your friend—a baby is like a dog multiplied 100 times. Right now she’s in the information gathering phase so she’s seeking out people with the information she needs. And to make matters worse, pregnancy and childbirth are one of those topics of conversation that is just lots of fun to indulge in for people who have been through it or are planning to go through it. But it’s insanely boring for just about anyone else.
To give another analogy—say you, I, Amy, Katie, and Emily are sitting around talking and Katie asks about Ireland because she’s planning to honeymoon there. You and I and Amy have all been there and will be more than happy to go on at greath length not just giving advice but also just generally reminiscing, pulling out photos, and comparing notes. Emily has never been to Ireland and may want to go at some point, or maybe not, but in either case she doesn’t have a lot to add to the conversation so she’s going to feel left out and bored. Is the knowledge that she’s feeling left out going to stop our conversation? Eh, maybe. But if it does at that point, out of sensitivity to her feelings (maybe we know she really, really wants to go but her husband loathes the Irish so it’s a particularly sensitive topic. Daniel is kind of oddly controlling that way), we will probably find many opportunities when Emily isn’t around to talk about Ireland.
In addition to being all-consuming, and important (as in you don’t want to screw up), AND fun to talk about, it’s also a sensitive topic for many people and everyone knows that. When you get pregnant, you are happy and excited (one hopes) but you don’t want to hurt the feelings of people who you know might want to get pregnant but can’t for whatever reason or who recently had a miscarriage, so you are careful to limit your discussions, whenever possible, to people who you know will be receptive to the topic. If you include other people, it means you run the risk of both boring them and making them feel bad.
So this leaves you where you are—feeling bad anyway BECAUSE you are being excluded, which, of course, is also natural. Wait, what was the question again? Oh yeah, you want to know if this means that you’re out. Well, yes, but probably not permanently. If your friendship is based on real compatibility of personalities, it’ll live through this phase. Your friend sounds like she’s the sort of person who relies on other people for advice and support (I tend to rely more on fake people who live in my computer) and she needs advice and support on her pregnancy, so she’s getting it from people who can offer it. Depending on her personality (babyzilla(?) or not) her current hyper-focus might stick around forever (the boring SuperProfessionalMom sort who only identify themselves through their role as a mom and tend to lose sight of who they were before. I wonder what happens to these people when their kids leave home. Are they the sort of controlling mothers-in-law that you hear about?) or go away when she gets more balance in her life. But it’s very, very hard to maintain that balance during pregnancy and with a new infant (see the bit about all-consuming), so it may be a while. Be patient.
Your other question was how to deal with being the only one without offspring. This is part of a broader question that I think everyone deals with at some point in their lives—feeling like they are the only ones dealing with whatever situation they are dealing with, and it’s harder when it’s a Big Thing (instead of a silly thing, like being the only redhead in a classroom, or being the only Steelers fan in an office full of Ravens fans). I deal with this all the time with Connor and his issues. Now, obviously, I’m not the only mother of a kid with autism (although I guess it’s possible that I’m the only mother of a kid with autism and hyper-IgM syndrome, but I don’t know that), but among the people I talk to and interact with on a daily basis, none of them have kids with any serious disability. And it’s hard. I know people don’t mean to be hurtful when they talk about where their kids want to go to college or what they want to be when they grow up—these are normal conversations about normal kids and it’s not their fault that my child isn’t normal. And I know they don’t mean to exclude us when they plan activities that just would be torture with Connor. But logic and emotion rarely interact well. It’s at those times when I try to remember what a very wise man once told, well, not me but a whole crowd of people: you can’t control the things that happen to you. You can only control your response. My response, in this case, could be to try to surround myself with people with similar experiences—I could get a job with Kennedy Krieger and start going to the Autism Society support group meetings. Or I could try to make the people feel bad for bringing up the sensitive topic of what their kid wants to be when he grows up (“when he grows up he’ll probably live in a group home and not do much of anything. Remember when you wished your child could stay young forever? This is what it looks like. You think it’s such a good idea now?”). Or I could be realistic, understand that I live in the real world where I can’t hide myself from other people just because I’m not like them, and that most people are generally good and well meaning and understanding, and that I can’t change who Connor is and I have to live with that and not rail against it. Sometimes that means I can respond with humor (“as far as I know when he grows up he wants to be naked”), but mostly it means that I just let a lot of “normal” bypass me without too much input from me and without many hard feelings. I’ve got a lot of good stuff in my life (admittedly not this week) so I try not to get bogged down in the not-good stuff.
And you could do the same thing—you can respond by starting to hang around more with people without offspring, or be snide and constantly remind them of how much more free and easy your life is without kids (plus, no college to pay for!), or just keep doing what you’re doing—being flexible and understanding so that you are still good friends with these people in 10 or 15 years when their kids are teenagers and don’t have to be cared for as heavily as they do now so these friends can get their lives back! That’s the other thing about kids—while having them is all-consuming, the heavy work really is pretty temporary in the grand scheme of things.
I think it’s natural for anyone, when faced with a new situation in their life, to seek out information from and camaradarie with people who are knowledgeable about that situation. And some situations are more unfamiliar and more all-consuming than others, plus some *people* are more apt to completely throw themselves into their new situation than others (think of bridezillas—some people, when they are planning a wedding, don’t get all hyper-focused on the details of the wedding and some people throw themselves into the planning like it’s an Everest expedition.).
Pregnancy is one of those situations, and I think it’s more likely to be all-consuming, even for generally reasonable people, than most things. First of all, you want to make damn sure you don’t do anything to screw it up because this is another person’s life you’re talking about, plus biologically your body makes sure this is not something you can forget for even a minute—you spend your first trimester feeling vaguely ill and unbearably sleepy ALL THE TIME, then someone starts kicking you from inside, then the third trimester is really odd because not only is your body taken over, which you’ve gotten used to by then, but your brain is too—it’s nearly impossible to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. And all the while, you’re also doing the equivalent of planning a wedding—rearranging your life and home so a baby can fit into it (making a decision about work, finding childcare, getting a bedroom ready, figuring out how you’re going to add the equivalent of a second mortgage into your monthly budget, etc.).
Think about life decisions that you’ve made that you knew would have a big impact on you—these are things you probably didn’t make a snap decision on, and they probably DID affect how you interacted with people (and who you interacted with). Even something like getting a dog—I’m sure there are some people who see a cute dog in a store and go in and buy it without thinking for a second what they are getting themselves into (these people are also the ones that tend to turn their puppies in to the rescue organizations after a while) but most people, and all reasonable people, are going to seek out information, so they will start talking to people who own dogs to find out about different breeds, and how to crate train, and how to find a good vet, and how much does it really cost, etc. And then they get a dog and spend months having to run home at lunch to let it out of the crate, and they take time off of work for vet visits, and they have less time in their days for other activities because they have to budget time for walking and grooming, and even have to get up earlier each day to feed the dog and let him outside for a while.
Switch that dog to a baby and you’ve got some idea of what’s going on with your friend—a baby is like a dog multiplied 100 times. Right now she’s in the information gathering phase so she’s seeking out people with the information she needs. And to make matters worse, pregnancy and childbirth are one of those topics of conversation that is just lots of fun to indulge in for people who have been through it or are planning to go through it. But it’s insanely boring for just about anyone else.
To give another analogy—say you, I, Amy, Katie, and Emily are sitting around talking and Katie asks about Ireland because she’s planning to honeymoon there. You and I and Amy have all been there and will be more than happy to go on at greath length not just giving advice but also just generally reminiscing, pulling out photos, and comparing notes. Emily has never been to Ireland and may want to go at some point, or maybe not, but in either case she doesn’t have a lot to add to the conversation so she’s going to feel left out and bored. Is the knowledge that she’s feeling left out going to stop our conversation? Eh, maybe. But if it does at that point, out of sensitivity to her feelings (maybe we know she really, really wants to go but her husband loathes the Irish so it’s a particularly sensitive topic. Daniel is kind of oddly controlling that way), we will probably find many opportunities when Emily isn’t around to talk about Ireland.
In addition to being all-consuming, and important (as in you don’t want to screw up), AND fun to talk about, it’s also a sensitive topic for many people and everyone knows that. When you get pregnant, you are happy and excited (one hopes) but you don’t want to hurt the feelings of people who you know might want to get pregnant but can’t for whatever reason or who recently had a miscarriage, so you are careful to limit your discussions, whenever possible, to people who you know will be receptive to the topic. If you include other people, it means you run the risk of both boring them and making them feel bad.
So this leaves you where you are—feeling bad anyway BECAUSE you are being excluded, which, of course, is also natural. Wait, what was the question again? Oh yeah, you want to know if this means that you’re out. Well, yes, but probably not permanently. If your friendship is based on real compatibility of personalities, it’ll live through this phase. Your friend sounds like she’s the sort of person who relies on other people for advice and support (I tend to rely more on fake people who live in my computer) and she needs advice and support on her pregnancy, so she’s getting it from people who can offer it. Depending on her personality (babyzilla(?) or not) her current hyper-focus might stick around forever (the boring SuperProfessionalMom sort who only identify themselves through their role as a mom and tend to lose sight of who they were before. I wonder what happens to these people when their kids leave home. Are they the sort of controlling mothers-in-law that you hear about?) or go away when she gets more balance in her life. But it’s very, very hard to maintain that balance during pregnancy and with a new infant (see the bit about all-consuming), so it may be a while. Be patient.
Your other question was how to deal with being the only one without offspring. This is part of a broader question that I think everyone deals with at some point in their lives—feeling like they are the only ones dealing with whatever situation they are dealing with, and it’s harder when it’s a Big Thing (instead of a silly thing, like being the only redhead in a classroom, or being the only Steelers fan in an office full of Ravens fans). I deal with this all the time with Connor and his issues. Now, obviously, I’m not the only mother of a kid with autism (although I guess it’s possible that I’m the only mother of a kid with autism and hyper-IgM syndrome, but I don’t know that), but among the people I talk to and interact with on a daily basis, none of them have kids with any serious disability. And it’s hard. I know people don’t mean to be hurtful when they talk about where their kids want to go to college or what they want to be when they grow up—these are normal conversations about normal kids and it’s not their fault that my child isn’t normal. And I know they don’t mean to exclude us when they plan activities that just would be torture with Connor. But logic and emotion rarely interact well. It’s at those times when I try to remember what a very wise man once told, well, not me but a whole crowd of people: you can’t control the things that happen to you. You can only control your response. My response, in this case, could be to try to surround myself with people with similar experiences—I could get a job with Kennedy Krieger and start going to the Autism Society support group meetings. Or I could try to make the people feel bad for bringing up the sensitive topic of what their kid wants to be when he grows up (“when he grows up he’ll probably live in a group home and not do much of anything. Remember when you wished your child could stay young forever? This is what it looks like. You think it’s such a good idea now?”). Or I could be realistic, understand that I live in the real world where I can’t hide myself from other people just because I’m not like them, and that most people are generally good and well meaning and understanding, and that I can’t change who Connor is and I have to live with that and not rail against it. Sometimes that means I can respond with humor (“as far as I know when he grows up he wants to be naked”), but mostly it means that I just let a lot of “normal” bypass me without too much input from me and without many hard feelings. I’ve got a lot of good stuff in my life (admittedly not this week) so I try not to get bogged down in the not-good stuff.
And you could do the same thing—you can respond by starting to hang around more with people without offspring, or be snide and constantly remind them of how much more free and easy your life is without kids (plus, no college to pay for!), or just keep doing what you’re doing—being flexible and understanding so that you are still good friends with these people in 10 or 15 years when their kids are teenagers and don’t have to be cared for as heavily as they do now so these friends can get their lives back! That’s the other thing about kids—while having them is all-consuming, the heavy work really is pretty temporary in the grand scheme of things.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Mixed up week
I had off Monday, so Tuesday was Monday, then before I knew it it was Thursday, which is really Wednesday, which means I'm technically only a day late. Right????
Peter and I are going tonight to get measured using a Bod Pod. I am pretty sure it will say I am 92.7% body fat, like those people in Wall-E that are big piles of mush. The interesting thing is that it determines your minimum calorie needs. While I am looking forward to seeing the results, I am also dreading seeing them...I know my fatness situation. Anyways, I think once we have these numbers we'll be better equipped to structure an eating plan that works for us.
I was down another pound this week, which is decent considering I haven't yet been a gym "regular." This stupid cold is still lingering.
This is totally unrelated to our main mission here, but since you ladies are smart people I am going to run it past you, and it has been eating at me.
Dear Ann Landers, Abby, Prudie, Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc (who wants to play who!!):
All of my friends in my level 1 circle (the friends you see on a regular basis and talk to nearly every day) either have kids or are pregnant. Besides having to field the awkward "So when will you have kids?" question, as the only childless one, I am feeling really weird and somewhat excluded. My friend Amanda used to email me every day, but since she told everyone she is pregnant, she hasn't been as regular with me and has become more regular with our other friend, Amy. I used to be her go-to girl for just about everything, but I haven't been recently, not even really in passing. Does that mean I'm out? I'm trying to be realistic; I know relationships shift as people move into different phases of their lives, and I guess I am trying to figure out if that is what is happening. I think when this has happened in the past I haven't noticed it, or maybe the shift wasn't as dramatic? I'm not really sure. Or maybe I am being hypersensitive? Or all of the above? How does one deal with being the only one without offspring? I try to attend every birthday party, etc that I am invited to, participate in whatever random activity that is asked of me, and try to be as flexible as possible when we're trying to get something scheduled, even when it puts me in a really tight spot. I try to absorb everything so that they don't have to deal with it. Is it just that my circle needs to shift, just like their circle has?
Sincerely, Shifted Orbit
LOL.
Peter and I are going tonight to get measured using a Bod Pod. I am pretty sure it will say I am 92.7% body fat, like those people in Wall-E that are big piles of mush. The interesting thing is that it determines your minimum calorie needs. While I am looking forward to seeing the results, I am also dreading seeing them...I know my fatness situation. Anyways, I think once we have these numbers we'll be better equipped to structure an eating plan that works for us.
I was down another pound this week, which is decent considering I haven't yet been a gym "regular." This stupid cold is still lingering.
This is totally unrelated to our main mission here, but since you ladies are smart people I am going to run it past you, and it has been eating at me.
Dear Ann Landers, Abby, Prudie, Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc (who wants to play who!!):
All of my friends in my level 1 circle (the friends you see on a regular basis and talk to nearly every day) either have kids or are pregnant. Besides having to field the awkward "So when will you have kids?" question, as the only childless one, I am feeling really weird and somewhat excluded. My friend Amanda used to email me every day, but since she told everyone she is pregnant, she hasn't been as regular with me and has become more regular with our other friend, Amy. I used to be her go-to girl for just about everything, but I haven't been recently, not even really in passing. Does that mean I'm out? I'm trying to be realistic; I know relationships shift as people move into different phases of their lives, and I guess I am trying to figure out if that is what is happening. I think when this has happened in the past I haven't noticed it, or maybe the shift wasn't as dramatic? I'm not really sure. Or maybe I am being hypersensitive? Or all of the above? How does one deal with being the only one without offspring? I try to attend every birthday party, etc that I am invited to, participate in whatever random activity that is asked of me, and try to be as flexible as possible when we're trying to get something scheduled, even when it puts me in a really tight spot. I try to absorb everything so that they don't have to deal with it. Is it just that my circle needs to shift, just like their circle has?
Sincerely, Shifted Orbit
LOL.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Forgot to post yesterday
I started coming down with something on Saturday and by Monday it was a full-blown nasty virus with fever. I was better yesterday but still feel rotten today, and I'm still just marginally above "normal" at 98.8 -- though normal for me at this time of the month is about 97.9 to 98.2, so that's really a half-degree fever, not two-tenths, which makes a bit of a difference. But I haven't been up to any kind of exercise in the last half week. And before that Mary was sick, which made gym trips impossible; I did Walk Away the Pounds one day and an ornament fell off the tree and broke. Sigh. Irreplaceable, too -- an egg Daniel had hand-painted when he was Mary's age. My exercise life is a disaster.
My weight dropped to 142.5 yesterday as a result of the illness, but it has already recovered to 144 today. I feel so gross -- I KNOW I'm losing muscle, and I'm feeling very flabby, but there's not much I can do about it at the moment. Meanwhile Daniel is into full-blown preparations for his half marathon, which makes me even more keenly aware of my lack of energy. As soon as I stop feeling so horrid I'm going to the bike shop to get my bike, and then I'll start figuring out how to work in enough long rides to prepare for the century this fall. Having a goal, and the equipment to pursue it, will help tremendously.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I forgot to weigh in
But I did remember to put my arm band on. Although, now that I think about it it didn't make the bleepity-bleep noise when it comes on...
I slept an extra hour this morning. Sort of. I woke up just before my alarm went off at 6:30, looked out the window, then reset the alarm for 7:30. I got up at 7:23 then. I hate it when schools get to be closed and I still have to go to work! I shovelled and salted the walk (meanwhile it was still freezing raining so I was sliding all around until I got the salt down) then I chipped the ice off my car and made my way to work ALL THE WHILE Katie was snoozing away. I think if the schools are closed (and BTW, Katie gets up early to check) she should ALSO then shovel the walk and clean off my car. 8-b
Anyway, the roads were mostly fine. I drove in low gear until I got to the main roads and didn't haven any slipping issues. They were still sloppy though. Falls Road was closed at the intersection with Shawan. I am not sure why.
I hope my arm band is working b/c I actually burned a few calories with the shovelling this morning. (BTW, I "borrowed" Mike and Sam's shovel to do my walks since mine went missing - my new one is supposed to be delivered today.)
I slept an extra hour this morning. Sort of. I woke up just before my alarm went off at 6:30, looked out the window, then reset the alarm for 7:30. I got up at 7:23 then. I hate it when schools get to be closed and I still have to go to work! I shovelled and salted the walk (meanwhile it was still freezing raining so I was sliding all around until I got the salt down) then I chipped the ice off my car and made my way to work ALL THE WHILE Katie was snoozing away. I think if the schools are closed (and BTW, Katie gets up early to check) she should ALSO then shovel the walk and clean off my car. 8-b
Anyway, the roads were mostly fine. I drove in low gear until I got to the main roads and didn't haven any slipping issues. They were still sloppy though. Falls Road was closed at the intersection with Shawan. I am not sure why.
I hope my arm band is working b/c I actually burned a few calories with the shovelling this morning. (BTW, I "borrowed" Mike and Sam's shovel to do my walks since mine went missing - my new one is supposed to be delivered today.)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Freezing Cold and Hungry
I think it may be the cold - inside! - but I have been STARVING all day. I brought a healthy lunch with me - thai noodles with shrimp and veggies, a yogurt and... there was something else, I don't remember what. Oh - and orange, but it turned out to be bad so I threw it away. Anyway - I ate the noodles at 12:30 and the yogurt at 2pm. Then I had popcorn around 3:30, and just now a package of plain oatmeal. AND I AM STILL HUNGRY! It must be the cold because I can't get warm either.
So, I have been reading all of the online inspirational stories like this one. I find them very depressing because in so many of them they say "I cut out fast food and dramatically reduced my fried food intake. I stopped eating processed food and learned correct portion size." Blah, blah, blah! I want to be a non-inspirational story. "I stopped eating fast food eight years ago and I never ate fried foods because they make me sick. I developed reflux so badly that even a teaspoon of sugar in coffee brings it on. Portion size is easy, just buy smaller plates and containers, like I did 12 years ago. All of this and I gained a whopping 80 pounds!" I know, I know... For most people learning to eat effectively IS the key. AND - most of the people say that they started running.
There has GOT to be a solution for me!! I am going to find it! I dreamed last night that I was wearing the Body Media arm band again. I stopped after the cruise because I was getting such a a bad rash from it. Maybe I will wear it just during the days and see how I do. I also am SO tempted to try another structured diet. It has been years since i have done one. I may do a fat flush or something just to kick start me again...
So, I have been reading all of the online inspirational stories like this one. I find them very depressing because in so many of them they say "I cut out fast food and dramatically reduced my fried food intake. I stopped eating processed food and learned correct portion size." Blah, blah, blah! I want to be a non-inspirational story. "I stopped eating fast food eight years ago and I never ate fried foods because they make me sick. I developed reflux so badly that even a teaspoon of sugar in coffee brings it on. Portion size is easy, just buy smaller plates and containers, like I did 12 years ago. All of this and I gained a whopping 80 pounds!" I know, I know... For most people learning to eat effectively IS the key. AND - most of the people say that they started running.
There has GOT to be a solution for me!! I am going to find it! I dreamed last night that I was wearing the Body Media arm band again. I stopped after the cruise because I was getting such a a bad rash from it. Maybe I will wear it just during the days and see how I do. I also am SO tempted to try another structured diet. It has been years since i have done one. I may do a fat flush or something just to kick start me again...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Holding steady
My weight was a pound down, but it's been hovering in this same range all week. I went out for a run on Wednesday, and then had my bike fitting (with much cycling) on Thursday. Then it got cold and horrid out, and kids were sick, so I didn't get to the gym. Today I finally decided it was time to exercise at home, no matter how boring I find my tapes to be, and while I was marching in place in the living room an ornament Daniel made when he was about 10 fell off the tree and smashed into a million pieces. No good deed goes unpunished. Serves me right for not having taken down the tree this weekend when I had the chance.
Until the kiddos are more healthy, though, living room exercise is it -- or else I can go out after dinner, those days when we don't have after-dinner activities, but that's as depressing as exercise videos, and takes longer. Better workout, though.
And as long as Christmas junk food is hanging around, my eating isn't going to improve! The kids are glad to have a good set of choices for after lunch and dinner, but I'M the one who's into them in-between! At least I had the sense to move the clementines onto the counter with the junk food, so I'm snacking on them almost as much as the cookies. And I'm back to my daily almond snacks, and there's far less cheese in my diet. So I don't feel quite as gross as I did, even though I'm still flabby in my midsection.
Well I did it!
I was at home this morning and so I actually weighed myself. I don't know if any of you do this but you try to guess the number based on how you feel... Well, I guessed myself to weigh 10 pounds more than I actually did. Stress, I know, often causes weight gain - and I have been very stressed. I also have not been eating well at all. Additionally, this was the first time I weighed myself since the holidays and I was very pointedly NOT eating carefully over them. OTOH, I have been more active than normal. Not exercise active, just running around active. I also have eaten surprisingly few Christmas cookies since that first week. So - long story short - I weigh the same now as I did when I got back from the cruise, which included a weight loss of six or so pounds - so it is all good - sort of.
OTO,OH - I am getting very floppy, soggy-like. I haven't done any exercise since the walking I did on the cruise. I missed yoga for two weeks prior to Christmas. It did start up last week - and it felt GREAT to stretch and be active again. I have to miss yoga again tomorrow, and I am REALLY sad about it. Dad has a heart doctor appointment that is way more important than my yoga, so I will be taking him to that instead. I am going to have to sit down with Mom and Dad and figure out where they need to go for the next six weeks or so - until Mom can start driving again. It is possible that Dad will be able to drive again sooner than that, but it would be short sighted of us to count on that.
Katie and I are hosting the knitting bookclub next Friday night - which means we REALLY need to clean. We haven't cleaned since the LAST party we had. I am not sure when we will get to do this because neither one of us has been home for any length of time.
OTO,OH - I am getting very floppy, soggy-like. I haven't done any exercise since the walking I did on the cruise. I missed yoga for two weeks prior to Christmas. It did start up last week - and it felt GREAT to stretch and be active again. I have to miss yoga again tomorrow, and I am REALLY sad about it. Dad has a heart doctor appointment that is way more important than my yoga, so I will be taking him to that instead. I am going to have to sit down with Mom and Dad and figure out where they need to go for the next six weeks or so - until Mom can start driving again. It is possible that Dad will be able to drive again sooner than that, but it would be short sighted of us to count on that.
Katie and I are hosting the knitting bookclub next Friday night - which means we REALLY need to clean. We haven't cleaned since the LAST party we had. I am not sure when we will get to do this because neither one of us has been home for any length of time.
Foggy brain
I have had a fierce cold for the past 5 days. It has seriously impeded my ability to exercise on a number of fronts; I'm exhausted, I'm cranky and I can't breathe right. I went to the gym last Thursday, and haven't been since. I was planning to go today, but between the exhaustion and this stupid snow that just started falling, I may go into hibernation instead.
I am down another pound, so progress is slow but that is ok.
We're supposed to go to NYC this weekend, but I'm not sure that is going to happen. Between my sickness, the weather, and the fact that I think Peter is catching this cold, we may opt to stay home. That is disappointing because I was planning to walk the Brooklyn Bridge this trip, among other activities.
I am down another pound, so progress is slow but that is ok.
We're supposed to go to NYC this weekend, but I'm not sure that is going to happen. Between my sickness, the weather, and the fact that I think Peter is catching this cold, we may opt to stay home. That is disappointing because I was planning to walk the Brooklyn Bridge this trip, among other activities.
Friday, January 07, 2011
Fitted for an invisible bike
Well, I had my bike fitting yesterday. This was quite a complicated process -- he did a long interview asking about any athletic activities I've pursued in my life (and I totally left out five years of musical theater dance being my main exercise, though it certainly kept me thin) and any injuries I've had (I forgot about the physical therapy on my feet until later in the process), so he got my whole recent running history. He tested my range of flexibility in several directions (below average hamstrings, above average knee-to-chest (I forget what that's called), average hip rotation (much to my surprise -- I would have sworn I was below average there)) and studied how much my feet collapse. He measured my inseam but, fortunately, not much else in absolute terms. I sat on a gel board so he could see the distance between my pelvic bones (and that was a very gross-looking impression! Ick!) -- I am medium to medium-small, which means I'll probably fit the standard seat. He put sticky dots on my shoulder, hip, knee, and ankle and used a computer to measure my minimum and maximum leg extension angles and body angles and a lot of other angles while I was riding on the model bike that he'd already adjusted. He studied the way I ride -- my posture was actually not bad, though I rested my hands in a funny spot on the handlebars which told him I've been riding with them too far forward (and explains why my hands go numb after a while of riding -- it's the same numbness I get from pushups). He adjusted the handlebars on the test bike closer to me, and that fixed that; he also said I'd need a slightly narrower-than-standard set of handlebars. But I'm OK with a standard crankshaft, and the women's frames should fit just about right (when we were finished he took me over to the women's frames they had on closeout, and two of the 50cm frames measured just right). He studied what angle my foot takes when I'm pedaling (pretty good), and observed that I push my knees in a bit when I ride, though that doesn't seem to cause a lot of problems for people, and none for me so far (except grimy socks, because I hit the chain more than I should, I suspect). I spent a lot of time riding the adjustable bike, and it even had resistance on it, so I got a good workout of at least 20 minutes total -- possibly more! He discussed clipless pedals with me; I've never wanted these, because I like to be able to grab my bike and go for ordinary trips, but if I ever get an everyday bike I might consider switching my road bike over.
After two hours of bike fitting, I left empty-handed. By about 10 minutes into the process I'd figured out that that was likely. There's a lot of follow-up work to be done, so I haven't gotten the full report yet. But, as I mentioned, it does look like there will be at least a couple of relatively affordable closeout bikes that will be an option for me. One is the Pilot 2.0 WSD and the other is the Triple 1.5 WSD. (Opinions, anyone?) There may be others, and I could certainly order a bike, though it would cost more. I'll switch out the handlebars (which they'll have to order for me), but the seat should fit -- though after sitting a long time on the supposedly custom-fitted seat on the tester bike I was missing my squishy gel seat. Are the somewhat firmer new seats really supposed to be better for longer rides? (All the websites say yes.) The bike guy said I should wear padded shorts -- but, like the specialized shoes, that seems kind of stupid to me for everyday riding; why not just build the padding into the seat? I think I'm missing something. I guess my rides have never really been long enough to demonstrate the need for good saddle support. But I do plan to do this century ride this fall, so that means over the summer I'll doubtless try numerous longer rides.
Actually, I know what I'm missing -- I'm being fitted for a road bike to replace my current road bike, because I really WANT a good road bike that fits me just right. But I also wish I had a town bike (with a squishy seat). And, heck, I'd love to try some mountain biking too. I am much too greedy!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Self sabotage!
WHY do I do this??? So I was down a pound Tuesday "officially" and then down another yesterday morning...so what do I do...
Eat junk food.
I was disgusted with myself the second I did it, but that didn't stop me. Grrr. I doubt the slip will cause irreversible damage, but I really don't understand this about myself, and it is so frustrating! I mean, I was seeing progress, seeing signs of improvement, seeing signs of the coveted weight loss I am been longing for...and I did something counter to it.
I did sit down later and added up my daily calories, and I realized that even with my indiscretion I still came out on the day with a calorie deficit.
I'm headed to the gym again today after work. Woo--that will be three of three for my planned sessions this week!
Eat junk food.
I was disgusted with myself the second I did it, but that didn't stop me. Grrr. I doubt the slip will cause irreversible damage, but I really don't understand this about myself, and it is so frustrating! I mean, I was seeing progress, seeing signs of improvement, seeing signs of the coveted weight loss I am been longing for...and I did something counter to it.
I did sit down later and added up my daily calories, and I realized that even with my indiscretion I still came out on the day with a calorie deficit.
I'm headed to the gym again today after work. Woo--that will be three of three for my planned sessions this week!
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Roadrunner!
My eating was marginally better today than it has been -- far less chocolate and cheese (though still SOME cheese, because my lunchtime leftover burrito and my dinnertime leftover veal both had cheese) and more fruit (clementines and bananas). But not enough water. I'm under-hydrated these days -- I need to take some suggestions from Vicki's post!
However, I DID get out and exercise today. I ran three loops close to home (the childcare room was closed when I called the gym and by the time they opened it would have meant scheduling a late appointment -- I'll try again another day). It struck me about a mile into this that this is the first time I've run outside since the marathon. Pretty sad. But I had absolutely no IT-band or femur troubles, so that's good news. Actually, that's not quite true -- I could feel some tightness in the band in my right leg, but up near my hip, and not where it used to hurt; it just needed a little stretching and it stopped bothering me immediately after that. I thought, based on my phone's GPS, that I was REALLY slow on the run, but when I got home and looked at what it thought I had run I realized it was just completely wonky in its recording -- it said I did under 2.9 miles (which seemed low, but it had been a long time since I'd done the route so I couldn't remember if a loop was just over or just under a mile) but it was really more like 3.3. So I averaged about a 10-minute pace, which is perfectly normal for me, and far better than the 11:29 it reported!
Tomorrow I have my fitting for my bike. I feel very under-educated in a bike shop -- I'm always a bit nervous going into the shop because I feel like such an idiot. Running technology is so much simpler (though not a whole lot cheaper, in the end!). You need shoes, and you buy the ones that feel best and fit best in your price range. You need whatever clothes you feel comfortable in, because when you run 6 mph or slower you really don't need streamlining. Nobody laughs at you if you continue to dress this way even after years of running, and you get other gear as the need presents itself (generally making itself obvious -- how do I hydrate on a long run? Water belt. How do I keep from bouncing? Overpriced bras. How do I keep clothes from chafing? Glide stick. And so on). But with road bikes you START by dropping hundreds of dollars on a bike, and it seems kind of foolish to do that without knowing a whole lot more about the products. I don't really know what the strengths and weaknesses of different bike brands are, and I certainly don't know one type of gear shifter or brakes from another. I did spend some time reading up on frame features the other day so at least I know the parts of a frame now. More or less. If they don't use any non-standard or specialized terms on me. And they want me to wear my bike-riding gear, which, for the past several years, has generally been jeans hiked up or tucked into my socks on the right side. So I think I will wear my newer running tights, which looked VERY awesome on me a month ago but now showcase my new, flabby gut. But at least they're kind of streamlined and are what I WOULD wear on a bike in winter if I were actually trying to ride fast and not just get to the grocery store or the gym. Actually, I'd wear these on the bike to the gym, too -- I wore my gym clothes all summer the year that we biked everywhere.
I have a chronic problem of never wanting to admit to being a neophyte at anything. This posed a real difficulty in college, when I didn't want to ask stupid questions, so when a question popped into my mind I'd read through all my books and notes before being willing to ask, by which point the lecture had long since moved onto other topics and the subject was no longer relevant (or someone else had asked the question already). I also never got good at chess even though I think I could have been, because I didn't like being bad at chess, and you have to go through being bad before you can get good. Biking is like that for me -- I'm really bad at it but don't want to admit HOW bad so that I can start getting good. Phooey.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Such a relief to read all of your posts today
What can I say? Misery loves company! I'm up to 146.5 as of this morning, a rise of about six or seven pounds since Christmas. I am feeling SO gross -- my diet has involved a very unhealthy amount of cheese and chocolate, and an almost immeasurably small amount of fruit and vegetables. Today was the last day of our vacation, though, so as of tomorrow I'm starting fresh. Daniel and I are both going to be back on track in terms of exercise, and Daniel is also with me 100% on the eating better -- not just lower in calorie, but higher in quality.
On Thursday I have my fitting for my new bike. I don't know what I'm going to get, other than that it will be a road bike, and probably at the low end of the spectrum (given that bikes at the high end cost as much as a new car). Then I actually have to get back to riding once in a while! Isn't it sad? I've always liked swimming and bicycling best, but those are the kinds of exercise I'm generally able to do least. Not this year! I'm going to cycle if it kills me!
Detox article ...
I'm feeling this article. I've been trying to pick up my water intake.
http://www.wusa9.com/rss/local_article.aspx?storyid=128972
Ms. Fatty McFatkins
Ah, it's the end of the holidays, start of a new year and I'm feeling, and probably weighing, much like Sarah. Fat. Now, I'm not calling Sarah fat, I would only say that to her face. HA No, I'm just feeling bloated and kinda ick from the holidays.
I can't say I ate that poorly but when I get off my eating routine it's just *bad.* I really avoided eating sweets but I also enjoyed a few beers. I also drove about 1,500 miles during my off week including one overnight drive. I didn't get in much exercise either.
So that's where I am. I feel like today I finally got back into the groove of work. I was kinda out of it yesterday. I'm still winding down Christmas stuff, finishing laundry and moving into the new year at a relatively slow pace.
Now it's time to turn my mind to mental and physical fitness. I want to train hard and I hope my body agrees. While snow tubing last week I went flying off the tube on a particularly fast (super fast) trail. During my mid-air flight I thought "I'm 42 years old and I'm gonna land on my fat butt on this icy slide. What am I doing?" I can say that I wasn't treated like an oldster though. The staff moved me along and picked up my hat for me. I figured if I looked older they might've voiced concern. A beer did taste delish a bit after that fall.
So I guess what I'm saying is I want to be able to flying off my tube and pop back up like a 22 year old. Hey, I can dream or at least try.
Let the torture begin ... soon.
Lacking a clever title...
I have been weighing myself fairly regularly and I have been watching the scale crawl upwards for months now. I managed to hold steady over the holidays and today I was down 1 lb from my atrocious highest-weight-ever weight, which I am fairly ashamed of and will keep to myself at least for now. Maybe when I lose a gazillion pounds I'll "reveal" the horrible number I started with.
So my exercising over my holiday break, minimal as it was, did keep me steady. And now I am hoping that my weight will start to decrease since I am into the early makings of a rhythm with going to the gym. I'm headed there again after work today, and I think I am going to add some weights to my planned workout.
I am still stressing over my teaching situation at CCBC; I had pretty much come to be ok with my decision to stop teaching, and I was working on looking forward to ways to fill my free time, but the college still hasn't replaced me. The semester starts at the end of this month. I am REALLY worried that my program director drug his feet too long to find a replacement and is going to expect me to teach this semester.
What does everyone take or make for lunch? I am so bored with my usuals. I really like taking soup, but the canned stuff is either SO salty or tastes like it came from a can. If I make soup, I get bored with having one kind multiple days in a row. Lunch needs to be reinvented.
So my exercising over my holiday break, minimal as it was, did keep me steady. And now I am hoping that my weight will start to decrease since I am into the early makings of a rhythm with going to the gym. I'm headed there again after work today, and I think I am going to add some weights to my planned workout.
I am still stressing over my teaching situation at CCBC; I had pretty much come to be ok with my decision to stop teaching, and I was working on looking forward to ways to fill my free time, but the college still hasn't replaced me. The semester starts at the end of this month. I am REALLY worried that my program director drug his feet too long to find a replacement and is going to expect me to teach this semester.
What does everyone take or make for lunch? I am so bored with my usuals. I really like taking soup, but the canned stuff is either SO salty or tastes like it came from a can. If I make soup, I get bored with having one kind multiple days in a row. Lunch needs to be reinvented.
Day of reckoning
OK, I considered not weighing myself this morning (like last week) and then considered not reporting my weight (going Amy-style and just reporting general uppage or downage), and briefly considered lying about my weight (very old school) but instead here I am, first weigh-in of the year, to report that I gained five pounds over the Christmas break, all of it around my stomach, and I'm now 151.4 pounds. Yes indeed, I'm officially over my "OMG" weight and have to start all over again from where I was LAST year at roughly this same time.
The only consolation I have is that I really, truly thought that my gain would be more like 8 pounds. I feel like I'm carrying around an extra eight pounds.
I hadn't exercised at all since the race the week before Christmas until yesterday when I went to the gym again. I put in 45 minutes on the treadmill, but only about half of that was running. Maybe less, now that I think about it. People kept calling me and I'd slow to a walk so I could talk on the phone.
Brian is starting a new (temporary) job next week--four weeks helping eBay with some conversion. But this'll mess with my workouts--since it's just a temp job we don't want to set up any official childcare, so I'll be coming in late to work so I can get Connor off to school in the morning and then I'll take "lunch" at 3:15 so I can pick him up and take him to his after-school program each day, then I'll work late to make up for coming in late. That pretty much kills all of my available workout times, so I'll have to figure out a work-around. Maybe lots of running and cycling on weekends will have to do for a month.
The only consolation I have is that I really, truly thought that my gain would be more like 8 pounds. I feel like I'm carrying around an extra eight pounds.
I hadn't exercised at all since the race the week before Christmas until yesterday when I went to the gym again. I put in 45 minutes on the treadmill, but only about half of that was running. Maybe less, now that I think about it. People kept calling me and I'd slow to a walk so I could talk on the phone.
Brian is starting a new (temporary) job next week--four weeks helping eBay with some conversion. But this'll mess with my workouts--since it's just a temp job we don't want to set up any official childcare, so I'll be coming in late to work so I can get Connor off to school in the morning and then I'll take "lunch" at 3:15 so I can pick him up and take him to his after-school program each day, then I'll work late to make up for coming in late. That pretty much kills all of my available workout times, so I'll have to figure out a work-around. Maybe lots of running and cycling on weekends will have to do for a month.
No scale... no blow-dryer
I spent the night at Mom and Dad's last night, and so didn't weigh myself this morning. Dad wasn't up yet when I left, however, I did hear him coughing right around 7:45am, so I know he was OK. I left a note for him to call when he got up, but he hasn't yet.
I spent the evening reading the next book in the Material World series. It is called What I Eat - Around the World in 80 Diets. It is FASCINATING! What is most amazing to me is how there is virtually NO relationship to the number of calories a person eats and how much they weigh. I couldn't tell how much activity some people got, but in most industrial areas people seemed no more active than anywhere else in the world. Also - and again this is just my observations through someone eles's photos - it seemed to me that the people who eat the hyper healthy diets are the ones that look the most sickly!! So, go to your local library and check it out. There are some good articles about calories, diet, nutrition, etc.
I spent the evening reading the next book in the Material World series. It is called What I Eat - Around the World in 80 Diets. It is FASCINATING! What is most amazing to me is how there is virtually NO relationship to the number of calories a person eats and how much they weigh. I couldn't tell how much activity some people got, but in most industrial areas people seemed no more active than anywhere else in the world. Also - and again this is just my observations through someone eles's photos - it seemed to me that the people who eat the hyper healthy diets are the ones that look the most sickly!! So, go to your local library and check it out. There are some good articles about calories, diet, nutrition, etc.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)