GACK!

I feel puke-y! Oh so Puke-y!! etc. I don 't know why, but all day I have felt a little bit like I have morning sickness... like all would be fine if I would just throw up - once. But - on the flip side, I don't quite feel like I have to throw up... I feel like I might just be a little bit hungry. I'm sorry. Was that too much information?

I had nothing interesting for food today - except I got a Gyros when everyone sent out for lunch. It didn't help my stomach. My weight this morning was 214.0. So - down from yesterday - but up from where I want to be... by about 64 pounds!

I am off to see Emily, et al this weekend - but I am not sure when I am supposed to be leaving. The original plan (for me) was to leave about now to head down there and then have a nice long-ish visit. THEN I was told that they wouldn't be back home until Saturday from Alabama-ville. So - I am now thinking that I might just wait and go down on Sunday. I don't want to arrive there before they are home, and I don't want to decend upon them when they are all tired from traveling. AND - afternoon/evening is my worst driving time. I like early morning or late night MUCH better! So - I am thinking about leaving at about 7am on Sunday. Emily, how does that sound? I think I will time my arrival with your lovely Sunday brunches... Are you doing one?

Holiday Week

My weight has been up and down for the past week. I was as low as 211.8 (Christmas Eve morning after spending Christmas Eve Eve at a party where JULIE MADE ME DRINK TO EXCESS!!! Julie - do you remember saying that you would take full responsibility). Luckily I donated most of the calories back to Bacchus - so my weight was low. Then I ate too much on all of the following days - leaving me with a weigh in weight of 213.2. Not TOO bad - but I kept going up... Today I was 215.2.

I did NOT eat Macaroni and Cheese on Friday - but I did today. Katie and I also went to breakfast at IHOP on Tuesday. Other than those two calorie fests I have pretty much just grazed on Christmas cookies all week. Today I had (in addition to the Mac and Cheese) a kiwi and right now I am eating trail mix. I don't know what my dinner is for tonight - but I am going to try to be good. I want to get myself back on track mostly before my next diet... Fat Flush.

Looks like EVERYONE forgot Tuesday

I certainly did. But I was on the road yesterday so I had an excuse. I believe my weight yesterday was 141.0. My weight actually went below 140 one morning this past week, because I was so busy I kept forgetting to eat, and most days I didn't sit down unless I was driving someplace. Now I'm doing lots of sitting and more eating than is necessary. Is there an all-sugar diet that requires you to eat until you hate the sight of sweets? That's what I'm on.

Bad Eating

I have been in holiday mode this week. I have been eating (fairly small amounts of) holiday cookies, candies, etc. Yesterday we had our team party - and we got ribs and crab cakes from Corner Stable (determined the menu when I was still on Atkins). It was VERY yummy. I have been bad about eating my real food (today so far I have only had junk food - no healthy stuff. Right now I am contemplating going to Noodles to get Mac and Cheese for lunch. Yummm. I need comfort food for some reason.

No exercise. My period DID start yesterday - and as I suspected it would be it has been VERY heavy. In fact - I would be willing to bet that this is the heaviest period I have EVERY had! I am already down to 212.2 - and I am SURE that is all because of my period. Did I tell you all I dreamed I was pregnant? Actually - I dreamed the doctor was insisting that I was pregnant and I was insisting that that would be impossible! I think part of this is related to the fact that I had the feeling that the endocrinologist didn't quite believe me when I told him I CAN'T lose weight. That bugs me. The doctor not taking me seriously - and the not being able to lose weight.

I am looking forward to Christmas - and time off - but I am even more looking forward to getting back to my life where constant goodies are non-existent!

Appalling

I was 143.0 this morning. I've been between 140 and 141 all this past week, and then for weigh-in day my body and my scale surprised me with a jump to 143. I haven't been exercising -- but I also have hardly been sitting down and I've hardly been eating. Though a lot of what I've been eating has been junk -- well, not junk, entirely, but not full meals, and not balanced.

This weekend I took extra iron daily and I even skipped my calcium in case that was keeping me from absorbing the iron, and today I tried to give blood. Didn't work. I'm still anemic. Phooey.

I'll get back to regular exercise and diet and posting in January, I promise!

There is no connection

I am convinced there is no connection between what you eat and how much you weigh. I don't believe it exists. I just had a long conversation with people at work - they were teasing me about not eating all of the junk that is around or ordering out lunch with them... I said - I wouldn't MIND all of the dieting I do if I actually ever saw any results. Which I don't. I was 215.6 today - again.

Today so far I have eaten a clemantine, 2T of hummus and six baby carrots and 10 grape tomatoes (or it may have been 8 grape tomatoes). I also had ONE chocolate covered pretzel. I drank 32 oz of water before I left my house - I have been drinking half caff coffee with skim milk. I even got Kristy a Fa La Latte (she drinks one EVERY DAY! why doesn't SHE have a weight problem?) and nothing for myself. I have back to back meetings all afternoon - so I don't know if I will drink my other 32 oz of water before I finish work - I don't want to have to take constant bathroom breaks...

I didn't exercise last night. I ended up doing something - which I can't remember now. Katie - what did I end up doing? I went to Mom and Dad's after work - which made dinner late and then we packed our lunches after that. That can take time - especially since we are trying to be exact with this phase of diet.

I love this diet. The food is all healthy and tastey. I feel smug looking at my good collections of food in my lunch bag. The only problem is that since it allows most foods (it is moderation that is taught) it is easy to cheat - like having a chocolate covered pretzel. One is definitely moderation - but it was still probably 60 or 80 calories. When you are shooting for 1300 total that can easily push you over the top. Figuring 300-400 per meal, that doesn't leave you with a big buffer. You know? Last night I did cheat. I had pistachio nuts. Again - that is generally a good, healthy, not super high in calories, snack - but it was still probably about 140-150 calories.

No diet + no exercise = no posts

I've been horrible the past week. I didn't get to the gym once. I didn't even walk the dog once. I haven't been watching what I eat at all. I've been into so many Christmas goodies that I couldn't even begin to name them all. And every morning I get up and make a conscious (sp?) decision to NOT weigh myself. So I was really not looking forward to this morning.

Imagine my shock (once I finally opened my eyes to look at the scale) (really, I'm not making that up--I didn't want to look at the scale so I kept my eyes closed) when I saw that I was actually DOWN a bit from last week. 133.8 this morning.

The only explanation I can give is that even though I've been eating like a horse, I've been super-busy--always running around, up until 1:00 or 2:00 every night for the past five or six nights, running errands every lunchtime, etc. So I think the eating and the activity levels balanced out so that I didn't gain two or three pounds.

Either that or none of this makes any sense at all and there isn't really a connection between what I eat and how much I weigh.

150.5

Maybe next week I will see the next lower "decade" of poundage.

I am sooooo hung over today. I cannot believe I am actually at work. I may die before the day is over. I went to a fire department Christmas party last night and fire men are extremely efficient drink producers. It was insane. But a lot of fun.

I exercised Sunday night. Ran 2 miles and then used the regular bike for 15 minutes. I notice that using the regular bike seems to use more muscles for me. I was extremely sore yesterday and a little lingers today. My hope is to go to the gym this evening, unless I die first. I'll keep you posted on that.

Allllmmmosssst

I ALMOST cheated today. Well, I did a little bit. Kristy went to Caribou to get coffee and I figured since I was no longer on Atkins I could have Caribou coffee. So I ordered a Fa-la-latte. BUT - before I had a chance to drink it I looked up the calorie count - 680!!!!!!!!!!! So I took two sips, poured about a tablespoon into my regular low fat, no sugar, coffee and threw the rest of it away! That'll teach me to spend $4 on a stinking coffee!

Where are the rest of you. I have been posting alone for - like a week now!

I am so excited!!!

I am off Atkins officially today. 8-) I am starting the first in my series of diets - although, I am not sure if this really counts. I am back to doing the Glucerna plans for the next two weeks. This is my favorite diet - but in reality it is just healthy eating. I love the Glucerna website - it plans your daily meals (you set the calorie level - the lowest being 1300 - so that is what we are doing) it then gives you a shopping list and all of the recipes you need.

I just had a piece of whole wheat toast with a tablespoon of peanut butter. It was very yummy. I am drinking CAFFINATED coffee (WHY do all the diets cut out caffine? I thought it helped speed up your metabolism!) with skim milk (boy did I miss that - who would have thunk?). I have strawberries to go with my toast - but I haven't eaten them yet. I am also four glasses in to the 8 glass of water requirement... I will be in the bathroom ALL DAY! and I am only half way there.

Our tree is up and decorated (and very wonky looking - but cute none-the-less). My living room is relatively clean - although the treadmill is still mostly buried. I think I may - perhaps - be able to exercise in the living room tonight - which (KATIE! HELP?) I will attempt to do... I have thawed Jambalaya for dinner tonight. YUM! I am SO excited to have NORMAL foods again. Although - I am not sure if this will work for the next two weeks - since there is nothing weird about it - just low calorie.

It MAY work just because for the past week - and when I was actually STICKING to Atkins - so, about four weeks prior to that) I suspect my calorie levels were well above 1300. So - perhaps this diet change WILL result in a little bit of weight loss.

I think I have planned this well - My period is LOOMING with a vengence - I had those ping-y cramps all day yesterday which usually only preceed a really bad period - and today my boobies are very heavy - as was my weight. I was 215.6 this morning - which is a 2 pound spike from where I was all last week - and is typical for me days before my period. So - this means that in a week I should drop about four pounds - regardless of my diet - but I will attribute the loss to my diet. 8-)

Down a smidge

Only by .2 - I was 213.4 today. I think the confuse your body thing must work on a micro scale too. I SERIOUSLY expected to be up to 214 today! I ate perfectly ALL DAY then for dinner last night I had the rest of Katie's buttery, chocolately, sweet, salty goodness (Sorry Katie, it is all gone now...). Then later than night I had a VERY LARGE serving of pistashio nuts (in for a penny...).

I wrapped a bunch of presents last night. Actually - I have been wrapping presents all week. I am making good headway. This is kind of depressing to me though - because I hate having it all done. We will be getting our tree on Saturday (and hopefully decorating it then too...) so I will then have a place to put the wrapped presents. Currently they are piled all around the treadmill, making it impossible to get to. So - I haven't been exercising since I have started wrapping... But, Yes, Emily, with my diet schedule I also intend to exercise. Except when I am doing the severely restrictive ones (i.e. Cabbage Soup, which only is three days) because I have noticed I do feel weaker when I am doing them.

I forgot to include on my schedule - Blood Type Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet and............ shoot! There was another one. I also have 8 Minutes in the Morning (diet book) and another one that involves a personality quiz, and a seratonin diet. I realized when I was reading South Beach last night that diet books are the one form of non-fiction that I DO enjoy reading. I have a ton of them. BUT - if you want to get me more I don't have Sugarbusters - or if you do an Amazon search for Diet Book - I don't have a TON more. I added The Philosopher's Diet: Lose Weight and Change the World to my wish list...

The truth

I ate about a pound of that yummy buttery salty chocolatey stuff that Katie gets from her students last night. I am addicted to the stuff and Katie left it just laying around. I am beginning to think she doesn't care for it all that much - because if it were mine I would hide it. And I remember LAST year I ate most of what she got. This was on top of eating a good percentage of a bag of Beets and Sweets Terrachips. So - in a nutshell - I totlaly blew it yesterday!

I am out of Atkins bars. THat is normally what I eat when I am hit with the muchies - and they do a pretty good job of taking care of my cravings. Obviously without them around I am at my own mercy (which is NEVER good!). I think I am pre-period craving. I got my period Nov 20th last month - so this is a little early for PMS - but maybe that is it. When I get sick my hormones get wonky anyway and I often get my period early...

I am - so far - back on track today. I just ate a salad with cheese and edemane nuts and ranch dressing (4.8 carbs total) and I am taking my vitamins while I am typing this. Between my morning vits and my meal ones and my bedtime ones I take 25 pills. That is a lot. 15 of them are flax seed oil, Evening Primerose oil and fiber pills. The rest are assorted vitamins - C, B6, Calcium, St Johns Wort, etc. The morning and night ones are quick (6 and 3) but the lunch time ones take FOREVER to gag down - but it does force me to drink a full bottle of water.

OK - The truth thing... (not the junk food confession part - that was true too though) I was reading in Southbeach that when you eat low carb/high protein/good fats foods you feel satisfied a lot more quickly than when you eat carbs. So - you are less inclined to overeat. Carbs on the other hand - are more apt to make you feel MORE hungry - so you over eat. This, I have found, to be true. I feel full usually about halfway through a meal when I have been carb free (or mostly carb free) for the whole day - but when I have been eating sugar or lots of carbs I will KEEP eating regardless of how I feel. I also don't generally feel FULL - I just start to feel sick. There is a big difference.

OK - Starting next month I am going to do:
Fat Flush - January 4 - 17
off - Jan 18-24
South Beach - Jan 25th - Feb 7th
off - Feb 8-18
Body for Life - Feb 19 - departure for Italy
off - Italy
Body for Life - return from Italy - March 28th
off - March 29th - April 8th (Easter)
Atkins - April 9-22nd
etc.

140.5

Down a little from last week, up a little from the week before. My weight seems to be staying fairly consistent. I am not eating a lot because I'm so busy, but I'm also not focusing on what I'm eating so I'm probably pretty imbalanced. And I haven't exercised in a while, either. But, then, I seldom sit down -- this is the first time all day, except for during Mary's French class when the other two moms and I have our weekly vent session -- so I haven't completely ceased burning calories. So that's why I'm managing to maintain. Maybe Daniel and I can go back to walking/running when we're in Alabamaville post-Christmas!

Ugh

I am going up again. I was 213.6 this morning. I stayed perfect with my food all day - until about 2am when I woke up (I sleep very fitfully when I am sick). I was craving salt - so broke into Laura's Terrachips and ate about a serving (10g carbs) maybe a little less (I didn't want her to know I was stealing chips from her...).

I am feeling slightly better today. I am still very sore throaty, and my joints ache, but my fever seems to be gone. I don't think I am going to make it to 6:30 tonight though. I currently am urging myself to make it to 4pm at least.

So - how long exactly do I have to stick with this diet before I determine that it just isn't working anymore? I have been on it for just about 30 days, and only lost during the first 10 days. That means for TWICE that time I was doing what I normally do - hold steady, then start to gain again. The problem is I MISS normal healthy foods - whole grains, V-8, fruit. I loved it when I was dropping major weight daily... and I would even be happy if I was still losing the normal 1-2 pounds a week - but - once again - I am not! AND - until this past weekend - I DID NOT CHEAT!

So NOW what do I do? Accupuncture? Maybe that is the key for me... I keep thinking that SOMETHING has to be the key for me. I just have to figure out WHAT!!!

Do I risk easing off this diet? What if my weight skyrockets again?

134.2

That's not as bad as I was expecting. I was thinking I'd be closer to 135 after all the eating I've been doing. I'll still need to focus on getting my weight DOWN but for now I'm going to cut myself some slack--as long as my weight isn't really jumping huge amounts from one week to the next and as long as I'm getting some regular exercise, I'm not going to beat myself up over lack of perfection and lack of weight loss. Staying within my goal range is o.k. with me for the next few weeks.

I'm baaacckkk...

Finally bought a scale over the weekend. 151.5 today. It is not really on purpose but I have been really active lately, not with exercise but just other things keeping me from eating a lot. I visited my gym at the apartments and it is excellent. If anyone wants to come with me in the evenings I am certain I can sneak you in. Nearly all the machines have their own flat panel tvs. It is pretty neat. And the equipment is brand new. I ran a mile on the treadmill and then biked 4 Sunday night. I hope to get up there again tonight.

I found an old journal I was half keeping from early 2005 and I logged my weight in as 170. Ick. Looking at that made me see I have come along way--maybe not quickly, but that number hasn't been a threat in a really long time. Whew!

Re thinking

I am with Sarah. It is very tempting to decide to ditch the diet until after the holidays. I won't though. Mostly because I fear that I will gain back the weight I DID lose. I am also rethinking my current eating habits. I don't know if it was co-incidence that I stopped losing at the same time that I started including low carb bread stuff. Again, my carb count was still low, but part of the count was from breads.

I am thinking about repeating my first 10 days of diet. Take out fruits and nuts, add back half caf coffee, and herbal tea. If I don't start losing again we will know that wasn't the solution.

I am home sick from work today. I told Sarah that it is one of those sicknesses where you feel HORRIBLE when you have to decided if you should go to work, but fine at 10am (well - except for the guilt of chosing to stay home) but then crappy again about 4pm. I am just re-entering the second phase of crappiness.

My weight yesterday and today was up to 213.2. I think that was because of the party on Saturday and then my official cheat of eating a granola bar last night. I have been perfect with my food today - so we will see how that plays out tomorrow.

I am off to boil some eggs, make some herbal ice tea and take a nap.

I'm scared to weigh myself

I only weighed myself once over the weekend, and I was over 134 at that point. And since then I've pretty much eaten non-stop without exercising. I've lost all my self control--I'm back to my old habit of just eating because it's there and I'm bored! And to make matters worse, I'm probably not going to make it to the gym today because I'm buried under a pile of paper (almost literally--the clutter at work finally got to me so I'm organizing my messy piles and filing and so now things are worse for a while until they get better) and have four deadlines in the next two weeks. I'm tempted to just give up and start all over again after Christmas, but I hate to do that because I know if I give up running even for the next three weeks I'll really regret it when I start going back. Ugh.

It must be December

Because nobody is posting. So we're all either very busy, or cheating on our diets, or both. Count me in the "both" column. I'm just hoping to get through the month without too much weight gain, and then I'm going to start in fresh in January. And join the gym then, too. I feel really tacky joining the gym in January, but there's no point joining when I don't have much time to go and when we're going to be out of town for a week anyway! In the meantime, I'll keep posting on Tuesdays and checking in once in a while.

STILL Stuck

I was 212 for four days in a row. Today I was 212.2 - which was probably because yesterday I had a Starbucks Gingerbread Latte. The first real and true cheat I have done (that wasn't inspired by circumstances - i.e. holiday, birthday, etc. I just said "To hell with the diet!" and ordered a latte.) Anyway - that didn't affect me much at all. Sigh.

However, yesterday someone DID say to me - "You look like you are losing weight." My pants today are QUITE as tight as they were the last time I wore them. So I guess that is something. I really think that was more the outfit I was wearing - black turtleneck sweater and khaki skirt. I think that is a slimming outfit - however, I will take what I can get.

Tomorrow night is the TESSCO holiday party. I don't ususally eat a lot at these - and it may not be too hard to stick to Atkins friendly food - but I don't intend to. I won't go overboard (since I don't usually eat a lot anyway) but I figure TESSCO is paying $60ish for me to be there, I don't want them to get ripped off!!!

141.0

Same as last week, I think, which is fortunate, given how little I've been exercising and how poorly I've been eating. The Girl Scout nuts and candy arrived on Thursday so since then I've eaten an entire container of chocolate covered raisins and most of a container of peanut squares (basically peanut brittle, but not as good) and a fair number of cashews (but they've replaced my almonds, which are nutritionally almost the same, and I haven't gone overboard on these). And I made brownies for Mary's playdate on Friday and cookies for the Reconciliation reception on Saturday, and I've eaten a LOT of the cookies. Sheesh. Time to start making an effort again!

Still Stuck

At least the half a cider and the paper thin piece of cake last night at Claire's party did no harm. I was 212 this morning (same as yesterday).

I have started doing 50 sit-ups before bed. It isn't a lot - but I am hoping it will stave off the belly flab that seems to be developing since I quit the gym. The treadmill keeps my legs in pretty good shape - but my core muscles are suffering. I need to start Pilates again.

I wonder if the low carb bread stuff I have been eating is reversing my loss affects? I have 6gram bagels and bread that is 2.5 grams per. I don't go over board. I have either a bagel OR two pieces of bread a day - and that is it. That is only 1/4th of my allowed carbs per day - and I rarely go over 20 (and most days I am around 17). When I first started Atkins I was HATING the greasy feeling I had from eating. I have cut way back on the cheese - and even the meat. I am not going over 20 grams - but I wonder if I am not eating enough fat now. The book says that fat is an essential part of the diet. Right now I am eating sausage and lowcarb toast with butter. You would think THAT meal alone would be enough fat for the day!

133.6

Pretty much the same as last week. Surprising considering what I've been eating the past couple of days--gala food on Saturday, cookies on Sunday, leftover pasta with pesto and walnuts for lunch yesterday, two pieces of birthday cake (one for Marge at work, one for Claire), and ravioli for dinner. Two trips to the gym, and during yesterday's I was so tired that I only managed 25 minutes on the treadmill before giving up. But I'm determined to keep going to the gym--last year around Christmas I didn't go as often as I should have because I spent my lunch hour shopping. So I'm going to stick to my usual M-W-F schedule at the gym and only let myself off the hook when something comes up that's work-related that interferes with the schedule.

tuuukkk! Tukkkk!! TUCK!

For those of you that can't hear my brain thinking - that was me quoting the boy with the stuck tongue in A Christmas Story.

I seem to be stuck. I haven't moved out of the 211-212 range for over a week (not since Thanksgiving in fact). I know I have to step up my exercise - but I don't know if that is going to do the trick. I am so afraid that I am back into my normal mode for my body's reaction to a diet... Lose 6-10 pounds and then stop. I have been SO GOOD too! I haven't gone over the 20 carbs ONCE (except on Thanksgiving)! It is so frustrating! I was so excited when I was dropping weight quickly. I know it is inevitable that THAT wouldn't keep up - but I don't know if I will even do the slow, steady weight loss. I guess we will see tomorrow. I was 211.8 last Tuesday. I was 212 this morning. It is possible that I will drop two pounds tonight, but I am not counting on it. Even one would be good. Normal is 1% of your body weight a week - which for me would be 2.11 pounds. Sigh. Don't worry - I am not giving up - yet anyway.

Eating my lunch

It's only 11:30 and I'm eating my lunch. I couldn't figure out why I've been so hungry all morning (I ate my morning snack at 9:15 instead of 10:00) and it just hit me that it's probably because I've been up and moving so much longer than usual. Yesterday Connor woke up with a fever at 2 a.m., then today he was up at 4:00. I was hungry for breakfast at 5:30 but forced myself to wait (only drinking coffee) until 6:45, but that didn't fool my stomach one bit--it knew I had been burning calories at a faster-than-normal rate for an extra couple of hours today.

But I'm really going to regret this when I run out of food at 3:00.

Everything has been boringly normal in terms of food and exercise and weight. I'm still at 133.4 to 133.6, still sneaking too many sweets but making up for it by running or walking the dog. Oh, I'm not going to the gym today. I was home with Connor yesterday and didn't run errands like I was supposed to, so I'm going to do them today. Maybe by doing that I won't be so hungry in the afternoon so I won't have to hit the vending machine. Right?

The next few days are going to be a minefield of bad eating--gala at work tomorrow night, then two birthdays to celebrate on Monday. I think I already reported that, didn't I? Not fair to have birthdays the day before weigh-in!