I was pondering last night what it feels like to lose weight. It occurred to me that I haven't effectively lost weight in amost two years. The past 12 months I have been actively gaining weight. I was trying to remember what it was like to step on the scale and feel a sense of accomplishment. Actually - I can't say I have been ACTIVELY gaining weight - I am a good 10 pounds up from where I was last fall - which in reality isn't bad considering I quit smoking in the last year. 10 pounds is on the low end of the average weight gain after that. And - I haven't actually gone UP really in about 6 months. So - I have been steadily holding steady.
I met with the nutritionist yesterday. I really like her. I know she is new-agey, hippy, flaky, but so am I, and so it all works out. Anyway - yesterday we were again talking about intuitive eating. Basically, paying attention to what my body is telling me. What to eat, when to eat, how much to eat. Last time I started keep a hunger/fullness journal. Now she wants me to do that still - but also keep track of why I don't eat when I feel hungry, or why I do eat when I don't feel hungry (two of bad habits). She also said that for the next few weeks she doesn't want me to apply any "rules" to my eating. Basically - eat whatever I want. I told her I thought that would backfire... but I would consider it. So, I am considering it... The theory is that if you don't deny yourself anything the craving for the food isn't as great. In reality that may be true in some cases. For example, every year before the TESSCO Holiday party I tell myself that I can/could and should eat anything I want and every year (except last year) I come home having eaten two or three little hors d'oeuvres and that is it. BUT - the difference is that at the party I am distracted - and so I don't eat. Sitting at home reading or on the computer I am not distracted enough.
Anyway - she also wants me to think about what it could be that I am denying myself that I am substituing it with food (comfort eating...). I don't know. She wants me to try affirmations. I am not sure if that will work - but according to her studies HAVE been done that show that on a very basic, physical level affirmations work. So, I will have to think of nice things to tell myself. I guess it IS true - especially in the past 9 months - that I haven't been thinking too highly of myself and maybe I do need to change that.
Finally, she is convinced that my liver needs some support. The fact that I don't have any appetite in the morning - and when I haven't eaten - indicates that my liver isn't funtioning optimally. I need to eat "bitters" for that. Ick. Bitter is the one thing I really don't like. She is making me an infusion that will contain cinnamon and cardamom in addition to the bitter she wants me to take - since I LIKE cinnamon and that is a good counterpoint to bitter (according to her). Or I could drink camomile tea. Yuck.
3 comments:
Amy, I've thought since the beginning that this nutritionist sounds perfect for you. Good luck with the affirmations -- WE think you're worth having around, if that helps! But I agree with you that distraction is the key -- on days when I keep busy I don't eat, but weekends are terrible because I don't have anything set in my schedule. (My best hope is to plan a major cleaning or repair project.)
Funny you should mention affirmations--I was going to bring it up a few weeks ago when I was thinking about how you get a kid to behave correctly--praise works much better than criticism, so you "catch" them doing good things and praise them mightily for that. I figured if it works for kids, it should work for us--just praise ourselves whenever we do something right, no matter how minor that "right" thing is!
I can also tell you what you're missing/denying yourself that you replace with food--creative activity. I think all of us have a real need to just make stuff, or work with our hands and be able to say "see, I did this." On days when I'm able to indulge that desire, I feel much more balanced and happy with myself, and I'm also far less likely to graze from boredom. It's not just the distraction from the activity (although that's part of it) but the satisfaction of the activity itself that keeps me from wanting to have two cookies here, a handful of Goldfish crackers there, etc. And reading, as much fun as it is, is still an escape activity--your mind is working, but your hands aren't. And I think this creative drive is greater in you than it is in the rest of us, but it really isn't that often that you make a card or knit a sweater or paint a room or sew a costume. You should give yourself daily creative assignments to do and see if that helps!
You are right. Positive reinforcement is great! I know we spend a lot of time on this blog mocking our flaws. Even the striving for a perfect day ends up being more of a recitation of how we fell short from perfect (except for Emily this week!). Maybe we need to all put more of a positive spin to our posts. Instead of saying I only went to the gym twice this week we could say "My gym attendance was up 100% from last week." That kind of thing.
I am going to try your advice about creativity. I am going to steal a bit from Ali and do a picture a day. Even if I don't actually do any more than take the picture... OH!! and I just had my idea for today!!!!
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