Before or After?

Katie and I were discussing last night if the sleep requirement for the perfect day should be before or after. I concluded that the only way to have a perfect day is to start it off well rested.

That being said - I am off to a HORRIBLE start. Sarah, I kept thinking about you wondering how you manage - because last night I did not sleep. At all. I went to be late - like 12:15. At about 12:30ish, I jerked awake and blamed it on the train whistles... I hear the trains all of the time. However, when I was telling Katie about them (I heard two and they sounded very odd) this morning we both realized about the same time that the trains aren't currently running through because they are working on the tracks at that point. I checked this morning and, yes, that section of road is still closed. I don't know what it was then that woke me up out of not quite sleep - but whatever it was stayed with me all night. All night. It was actually a cross between a panic attack and fever dreams. I was definitely doing the whole fevered sweating, and everytime I started to drift to sleep I would jerk myself awake. I was "hearing" weird things all night... Thumps in the kitchen, shuffling in the living room, the basement door closing, breathing (not mine - I was holding my breath at this point), screams (I figured that was probably cars on 795 screeching). I had panicky impressions - someone standing in my front garden, for example, and later someone was tucking the blankets in around me. I started worrying that there is no phone upstairs - and went so far as to get the phone out of the sewing room and plug it in in my bedroom (although, it is dead - the handset has been dead for months now...). I finally started to relax around 4:30am. I didn't fall asleep though. I know I was looking at the clock at 5:30am and again at 5:56am... However, I think I fell asleep between those two times because I did have some weird light sleep dreams then. Between 6am and 6:30 I watched the clock the whole time, knowing I had to get up no later than 6:30. I finally did get up (mostly because I was afraid that I WOULD drift off to sleep and then be jerked awake in a few minutes by the alarm) at 6:25am. I had to do a presentation at 8am - which meant that I wouldn't be able to get ahold of anyone else to do it for me in advance... So I HAD to go in to work. The reason this wasn't really a full blown panic attack was because my body wasn't responding as though it were afraid. Usually when I have a panic attack my BRAIN is being logical but my body is scared. This time my body was fine, but my brain was sensing attack. I think this was partly driven by thoughts earlier in the evening of securing our main floor a little more (a rod for the sliding glass doors now that there is access to them and figuring out a way to make the kitchen windows close all the way and lock... they don't currently.) These weren't PANICKED thoughts, just plain "grown up" thoughts. But - aparently they were enough, mixed with whatever mild fever I had, to keep me awake.

So - My perfect day did NOT start with me well rested. I did eat a bowl of gluten free cereal with skim milk. I also made myself another breakfast entirely (gluten free toast) at the same time, forgetting that I already HAD a breakfast. Sigh. So Katie ate that. I am about to eat a banana. I took my morning vitamins and - while I didn't floss my teeth I DID clean the toilet upstairs. As I was doing that I was thinking "Man! I should have cleaned the whole bathroom while I wasn't sleeping."

I am hoping to be able to leave here early today. Even if I do some work at home that would help - especially if I can take a nap!!!