I haven't weighed myself since last week when I was 140.4. I'm scared to. I've only gotten to the gym once since then, and I've been eating like it's going out of style. The receptionist has a big bowl of taffy on the desk today. It's right outside of my office and she's actually out sick so I can dip into it without being observed. I've had a LOT of taffy.
"The best laid palns" refer to my inability to get to the gym. Last week was already shortened by Labor Day. I went on Wednesday (and at least I'm back up to my previous speed/distance/duration), but then spent all of Friday waiting for a woman to bring me materials for a grant that was due at 5:00. I got it turned in at 4:20. So no gym on Friday. And then I was supposed to go today, but again I was working on a deadline--had to complete a grant today so it could go to the board chair for approval when he's here at 8:00 tomorrow morning. I just turned it in, then thought "hey, it's only 3:45--I could still go to the gym." And that's when my 15 minute Outlook meeting reminder popped up, telling me about a 4:00 meeting. So no gym today. And I already know Friday is out because I'll be at a conference all day. Maybe I'll go the next three days in a row. Yeah, like that's going to happen.
Where did my motivation go? Unlike Emily, I don't have ANY good days that I can remember in the recent past. I keep eating too much. I keep not making it to the gym. If I go to the gym, I come home and have Oreos and milk. And not just a nice reasonable serving of two Oreos. I eat six. I used to be able to eat 1300 calories a day and it wasn't a big deal. How was I able to do that? Was it just will power? And if so, how do I get that back?
1 comment:
Well, I *haven't* had one good day lately because each day is carrying over from the previous day's failure. That's why I proposed aiming for one day at a time -- you have to wake up and force yourself into being good with the full knowledge that the next day you can blow it all away -- but, still, that's one or two days a week more than we're doing now. I'm going to try to be good just tomorrow -- none of the chips that we still have in the house (I don't even LIKE chips, but I eat them), no alcohol (a sip of Daniel's doesn't count, right?), no chocolate, count my food groups, eat my veggies. And exercise even though it's Tuesday and Tuesday isn't a gym day. If I survive on Tuesday, do you want to try Wednesday?
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