Affirmations

I tried to do affirmations this morning. It was much harder than I thought it would be. I really never realized that I am really not very good at taking compliments - especially from myself! I remember having to teach myself not to disagree with someone who complimented me, but just to say "thanks." That was hard for me. So - Rebecca told me that she does her affirmations in the shower. There is a scientist turned new age spiritualist who did studies on water crystals. When peaceful music, positive thoughts and words were projected at the water, beautiful perfect crystals would form. However, when negative thoughts or comments were expressed the crystals would be malformed. Since we are made up primarily of water, the same affects should show up in us. So - in the shower this morning... I couldn't think of anything positive to say. I TRIED. I kept disagreeing with my own compliments. I even tried the Stewart Smally affirmations - "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and Gosh Darn it, people like me." THAT didn't even work for me. "Good enough and smart enough" sounds like you are settling for barely adequate, and I am not concerned with people liking me because, for the most part, I don't doubt that people DO like me. So then I tried physical attributes - and that just DIDN'T work because for the past year I have been comparing myself physically to what I was before - and it just doesn't measure up. So, I tried my talents, but that just made me feel guilty because I am wasting so many of my talents. So, I thought, what do I really like about myself? LOOOOONNNNNG pause. I decided that I like that I am pretty lucky. I mean, like shamrocks and rainbows luck. Not in big ways obviously, but with silly things. So then instead of complimenting myself on being lucky, I decided that I would use "I am blessed." Which I am - and it isn't something I can argue with. But by then I was done in the shower. It was an extremly stressful shower and it took so long that I didn't get to eat breakfast.

I am not sure if the "no rules" is working or not. Katie and I went to Bonefish last night -and I got the potatoes au gratin and we had the bread. I had two Mojitos. I had a skim pumpkin latte from Starbucks earlier in the day. BUT - I didn't go home and snack all night. Today I was craving a Snickers bar and gave myself permission to get one - and lost interest in it at that point (which I guess is what the desired affect of having no holds barred). In fact, maybe it IS working!! I have been craving cinnamon rolls for about two weeks now. When Rebecca told me I could eat anything I want the first thing I thought of was a cinnamon roll (which Starbuck's has). I have yet to actually go get one!! In fact - I don't really care about it anymore...