Me again...this is a bit rambling

I was trying to objectively look back over our posts from the past and in doing so, it got me thinking, especially after reading Sarah's post regarding her weekend. I, like Amy, have had a struggle with losing weight, while Sarah & Emily have had definite periods of great success and even though you guys have fluctuated, I still consider your success sustained since you never went higher than you started or even got back to where you started. And I know that it is still a struggle for you both, but overall you are winning. (And I'll give you a blogger-high-five for that!) So this made me think about how I am different from Sarah & Emily, and it has helped me draw some conclusions.

First, in comparison to Emily & Sarah, I lead a very fluid life. I have some set responsibilities (work, school) but aside from that, how I spend my time is totally up to me and me alone. I eat when I want, I sleep when I want, etc. Emily & Sarah have a much more scheduled life, in part because of keeping up with your little people, but I also think you both have the type of personalities that even if you didn't have families to manage, you'd still run your life in a similar manner. It just wouldn't be as hectic as it sometimes ends up being. You are both much more calculated than I am, whereas some days I feel absolutely all over the place. So I first concluded that I lack rigor when it comes to my own schedule because truthfully, there is no consequence if I get off schedule.

Second, I don't take advantage of the opportunity to schedule activities for myself, nor do I feel compelled to squeeze them into certain time frames that might be less than desirable. For instance--I have a lunch hour just like Sarah. What does Sarah do some days: go to the gym. What do I do: Facebook. My "rationale"--I don't like going back to the office icky, nor do I like carrying any extra clothes, etc to clean up. On the other hand, Emily schedules herself gym time ahead of time, rather than fitting it in during the day ad hoc since that doesn't always work as well. I also have the opportunity to schedule time, and guess what, I don't. My "rationale" there...I am too tired, or too this or too that. I have also been known (maybe not on this forum as much) to whine about my busy schedule...but really it is totally manageable.

Third, I struggle with my relationship with food. Sometimes I eat because I am bored, sometimes because I am sad, and those things happen more than because I am hungry. and when I find myself eating for all those other reasons, I am angry with myself, but I do it anyways. Now, I hate that feeling of being hungry, so the chances of me letting that happen on purpose are slim. I have to find a way to re balance this relationship. I used to be good about planning and packing my lunches and dinners ahead of time, and then I got lazy. I place a tiny bit of blame in this category on Peter; he LOVES to eat out. And since it is easier than cooking in, I go along with it A LOT.

My conclusions: first, I need to take advantage of the time I have and be more resourceful and efficient. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when I have class and get home late, I am going to take a walk at lunch. That will make me more like Sarah. Then on Mondays and Wednesdays when I don't have after work responsibilities, I am going to the gym. That will make me more like Emily. That gives me 4 opportunities for exercise within 4 days. Once I "master" this, I also have a plan for the Friday-Sunday time period.

Now, to deal with the food situation, I am imposing a rule on my lifestyle: I can eat one of each meal out per week. So one breakfast, one lunch and one dinner. For all the rest, I am going to go google some spiffy meal planner situation and plan out my week. And I'm going to plan an extra idea of each meal just in case when I get to a certain day I don't feel like whatever I have planned, I can roll over to Plan B before heading out the door for a restaurant. And this is also good timing because eating at home is SO MUCH EASIER for me when I can use my outside grill. I love my grill. And I always grill a huge serving of veggies--any veggie cut up, placed in a foil packet, sprinkled with Mrs. Dash's garlic and basil seasoning and just a teeny drizzle of olive oil. We go through so much squash and onions and mushrooms during grilling season it is crazy.

So I started this today; I got up this morning a few minutes early and made us oatmeal for breakfast. It was really good. And today will be the perfect day to start my lunch time walk. I just have to map out a path that keeps me safe since I work in the 'hood. I think I'll head south towards the hospital, then east towards the harbor. I'm going to set the timer on my phone so I walk 20 minutes out, then turn around for the 20 minutes back. If I keep a decent pace, that should be around 2 miles given that I'll have to wait for crosswalks, etc.

I also packed a lunch today. It is a 300 calorie mini frozen pizza (the cardboard kind) which isn't a great lunch, but it is a packed lunch. But it could be worse--I could go to Potbellies and eat a sandwich for 500 or 600 or more calories. I'm heading to the grocery store after school tonight and I'll get myself in a better position for healthier lunch for the rest of the week.

So there's my rambling, ranting, plan. LOL. Let's see how it pans out. Is it the epiphany I have been looking for? Who knows. Sometimes those seem so overrated and then you've wasted all that time waiting....