I am so ashamed!

Yesterday my weight was over 210. That isn't a huge surprise considering that my weight normally takes a big jump UP on day two of my period (I started tracking that on my charts about three months ago). But - it was up again today - which I don't approve of.

It is my fault! I have NOT been watching every crumb I eat for about two weeks now, and I have been eating CRAP. I also have only been making a mild gesture towards exercise. I have stopped doing any resistance work and do only walking on the treadmill or Pilates as workouts.

OK - so to recap - my inability to lose weight is an annoying mystery to me. However, I am very adept at GAINING weight if I let my guard down in the least. Man! This sucks!

Katie and I have been kind of bad about our food lately in general. We used to pack consistantly good lunches, but now we throw in whatever is on hand - which isn't always balanced. I need to do some super detailed menu plans in advance to cover for about a week or two to get back on track. I need to stock up on fruits and veggies (not just V-8) and whole grains. I need to start dividing out my servings so they are ready to go when I am ready to pack them. And I need to start REPORTING EVERY CRUMB!

I love Emily's idea of a challenge for the next week. A detailed diary, everyday, of every morsel or drop that passes our lips.

I am throwing out the remaining Easter candy! (Not much left since I didn't overstock this year - and I ate a lot too...)

Katie has set a challenge for herself to move her steps to the next 1000 each night. I am going to start doing that too. I am also going to make an appointment to meet with a trainer again to get my resistance workout back on track.

I agree with Emily - I don't like exercise. It isn't the TYPE necessarily, it is the very nature of it. I don't like to sweat and I don't like doing boring things. Exercise to me is very boring. It is a necessary evil - expecially for someone who DOESN'T have kids and dogs and a job that keeps me moving a lot. I DID walk to the Post Office today (thanks Emily...) So that was 1000 steps added to my normal day.

I just looked up the calendar for the group fitness stuff for my gym. I dread group classes - because I am afraid I am not as flexible or have as much endurance or am fatter than the other people - but I think it would also help me to be more engaged than just a regular exercise routine. The trouble with classes is they usually go on longer than I can. 45 minutes and I am done! These last an hour or an hour and 15 minutes! Ugh! But I want to try. I will start with something non exhausting - like Yoga.

I CAN work in a 10-15 minute walk at least two times in the evenings. I know I can do this because up until recently I managed to fit in several 5-10 minute smoke breaks each night - rain or shine. Sigh - this is again an example of how smoking could help me exercise. I could easily change the smoke breaks into walking smoke breaks. 8-b

Update on Wednesday

Food was not well balanced again! Breakfast was a fruity pebble rice krispy treat, daytime food was a dinner roll sized shrimp salad sandwich and a chicken salad sandwich, some cole slaw, chips, another cocoa pebbles treat, chocolate cake, pickles, olives, string cheese, 2 small Easter candy eggs, a cadbury egg, and a spinach salad with carrots, onions, tomatos, sharp cheddar and light red wine vinegar & olive oil dressing.

I did spent 50 minutes on the treadmill and burnt 400 calories according to that.

I found out yesterday evening that I am going to have to spend some time working this weekend (I'm figuring 10-12 hours), so Friday when I get to Amy's I'll have to lay out the game plan for accomplishing what I WANT to do as well as what I HAVE to do. City of Annapolis sent back comments on some data we delivered, so I have to get that turned around by Monday.

Took my own advice

Last night, nearing bedtime, my step count was just under 8500, below my non-gym day norm of between 9000 and 10000. So I decided to change that and spent the next five or ten minutes walking around the house and up and down the stairs. I should have paid more attention to how much time it took, but it wasn't long, and I walked while reading (and didn't run into the doors or furniture once!) so it wasn't even too boring. I ended up the day just over 9000 steps.

This morning I'm off to a good start, if you can call it that. Connor was up early and decided to head outdoors in his pajamas and bare feet, so I had to go chasing after him. By the time I got to work, I was already at 1200 steps!

On the other hand, I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. That's what happens when my usual routine is interrupted. I was starting breakfast for Claire (clearing off the toaster for frozen waffles) and while moving the pears I noticed one was beginning to rot, so I pulled it out, cut off the bad bits, and ate it. Then because that temporarily filled me up, I forgot to make myself a real breakfast. So I guess I *did* eat breakfast, but it wasn't much of one.

Last night was black beans and rice for dinner and the rest of the leftover Easter candy. I think I'm safe from it now--it's gone. I never post my daytime food anymore because it's always the same thing--cereal for breakfast, almonds for mid morning snack, yogurt, pretzles, and fruit for lunch, string cheese for afternoon snack. Always. Well, except for today--not only did I have just a pear for breakfast, but I packed a piece of pizza for lunch. Thinking of my girlish figure (not!), however, I didn't pack any afternoon snack. String cheese after cheese pizza seems like overkill.

I'm back!

Whew! I feel like I've been away from the blog for ions. My training class last week was excellent, and last Friday I went to Dulles to visit my brother Mark who is a Captain with Fire & Rescue there. That was an awesome trip--right up there with seeing the Grand Canyon and walking on Mendenhall glacier if you can believe it. First we toured the fire house, which was something of a hybrid high school/prison, and I got to see the dispatch center and the watch desk. I spread the GIS gospel while I was there and taught one of the dispatchers how to use local.live.com to view the oblique aerial photography of the airport. THEN we toured the airport in a foam truck. It was amazing. I couldn't believe we just hopped in the thing and drove off, but we did. The tires were so big, they came up to my chin. The first step up into it was just below my waist. We sprayed water from it turrets (1 on the roof, 1 on the bumper--1200 gpm!) and we drove everywhere on the airport except the runways, which are totally off limits. It was SO peculiar--Mark would ask "Do you see any planes coming?" as we drove around. Did you know the engines of a jet have enough force to knock over a box truck? You have to stop until the plane turns off its engines once it pulls up to the gate. I got to see all the haz mat equipment, all their breathing apparatus, the advanced life support trucks, all that stuff. I really enjoyed every minute of it.

So I got home Friday around 6 pm, and that is when I realized I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN about all the Easter candy! WELL. I made up for that! I've eaten about 6000 calories worth of candy since Friday. It's not even yummy anymore, really. But I still eat it.

So weight yesterday was 159.3. Pathetic. I'm with Emily--I have to go back to that no excuses exercise plan AND log every tidbit I eat.

So, food yesterday: pop tart bar (smaller serving than a regular 2 pack, so much easier to rationalize), yogurt, a banana, an apple, string cheese, 5 wheat crackers, laughing cow cheese, 2 small hershey bars, a can of diet dr pepper, bottle of water, a bottle of diet dr pepper, another bottle of water, carrots, salsa, single slice of lebanon bologna, spinach salad with carrots, tomatoes, red onion, a few croutons, a little sharp cheddar and light red wine & vinegar dressing, LD risotto style chicken, 2 pebbles rice krispy treats, and about 10 choclate mini eggs. So who can guess at which point in my food time line I was home from work???? It starts with the carrots & salsa and just goes down hill.

Exercise was about 50 minutes on the treadmill. My step count was just 11, 548 yesterday. I didn't wear the pedometer today. It was really noticeable under the shirt I have on.

Today we're having a luncheon for Admin. people day, so there's all sorts of bad food in the other room. Scott brought in this thing called Texas Sheet Cake that looks like a homemade version of those little debbie brownies, minus the nuts on top.

Polite scale

It very kindly gave me a 133.0 this morning, the same as last week, despite my weight having been over 134 most of the last week due to vast quantities of junk food consumption and despite a complete and total lack of official exercise since Easter. Daniel and I were supposed to go to the gym yesterday, but he had class notes to prepare for today (all his other lectures this semester were for material he has taught many times before, but today's topic was new, requiring a lot more work) so I used that as an excuse for us not to go to the gym, and then I didn't do anything at home, either. Nada.

The Easter candy is still not gone and that still constitutes the bulk of my diet. However, I am happy to report that I bought NO leftover Easter candy from the store -- I didn't even go to Target or CVS in the last week and, while I looked at Kroger's leftovers bin, I talked myself out of what they had (it was either still expensive gourmet candy, which was still tempting, or ordinary candy that isn't exciting enough to buy, though also still somewhat tempting. No jellybeans). When the Easter candy is gone, candy season is done, though Girl Scout cookie season seems to have dragged on extraordinarily long this year -- there are four or five boxes on my counter, and several more in the fridge. I can't figure out why I'm the only one eating them!!

I know what I should do is go back on the no-excuses exercise plan and go back to posting everything that I eat, though when I'm the only one doing that that seems mighty tedious. One of these days I'm going to make that an official challenge -- everybody has to post every day for a week, with food lists in detail. It's harder to eat another Samoa when I know I have to 'fess up to the group, and it forces me to keep count of just how many Samoas I've had. But I'm not going to make that official this week because I think we're more trying to focus on getting moving right now. The fact is that after seven months of this I still don't like exercise. I just don't like doing it. I don't like going to the gym (though I like having gone) and doing anything they have to offer, and I don't like going for walks no matter how lovely the weather is. I like sitting on my sofa eating candy or chips and watching Anne of Avonlea for the four hundredth time (that's what I did yesterday) or reading mindless literature. I don't think I'm ever going to like exercise. I don't think it's even a matter of finding the right exercise for me. I do have things that I like to do but there aren't any I would want to do all the time!

Amy, if you get desperate enough for activity then in a few years we all need to take a sabbatical and through-hike the Appalachian Trail (speaking of things I like to do, but would get tired of after a while!). They say it's impossible to eat as much as you burn. Then when we're all lean and muscular all we'll have to do is maintain! It's sort of the equivalent of starting Flylady when your house has been just cleaned for company, as opposed to starting from a horrible mess and decluttering a teeny bit at a time. That's us -- decluttering fat!

Not as horrible as I expected

I was 134 even this morning--higher than last week but still within my acceptable range. I know it wasn't because of my eating habits yesterday--I was chowing down the malted milk eggs last night--so I think the 136.2 on Monday had something to do with retaining water from eating all those salty potato chips. We'll see what my weight does over the next few days to figure out if the higher end or the lower is more accurate! But I'm glad I dropped for weigh-in day. I still have the goal of losing these last four pounds by Memorial Day.

Amy, about being more active--pretend you have a kid. Or a dog. On work days I'm usually at 2000 steps by about 2:00. If I don't go to the gym, that number stays below 3,000 by the time I get home. Walking to and from the parking lot is a lot more steps for me, which really helps (amounting to about 1,000 a day; twice that on the two days a week that I run errands during lunch). This morning I was paying more attention to my morning routine and I realized I go up and down the stairs about six or eight times just getting Claire and myself ready for the day. But it's in the evenings that I really get my step count up--as soon as I get home I walk Davey for about 15 minutes. I take him for a second walk after the kids are in bed, so I'm getting another 30 to 40 minutes of walking (or standing around while he snuffles) in the evenings when I think I'm too tired to do anything. As unpleasant as it is, you could try adding a 15 or 20 minute walk in the evening. I do the first one in my work clothes--I've been putting on my water shoes over my stockings recently. I look like a particularly odd bag lady like this, but then, that doesn't raise eyebrows in my neighborhood. When I'm not walking the dog, I'm walking around the house--fix dinner, carry stuff to the dining room, jump up seven times during dinner to get stuff for the kids, retrieve Connor (and his food) from the living room, or drag Davey away from the counter. Then I walk around in circles checking homework, putting stuff away, doing laundry, bathing kids, etc. Oh, and singing and dancing Wiggles songs on demand. I think this could be replicated with spending ten minutes of every hour that you're home walking around your house or marching in place. It's probably not a bad way to increase your activity level without interrupting your normal evening routine--just see how many steps you can take in ten minutes, and then do that three or four times each evening. You can do it in your work clothes or in your pajamas just wandering around the house or up and down the stairs. That plus a 20 minutes "official" walk each evening should easily add another three miles or more of walking to your day.

Or I could loan you a few Wiggles videos if you'd like. ;-)

I suck

Well - I guess I really can't complain TOO much - since I am too busy complaining about my really bad cramps. My weight this morning was 209.2. That is exactly the same as yesterday morning - but my higest weight since SEPTEMBER!!! This is NOT good. Granted, I have hit 209 point nothing a few times - and we are talking about on a weigh in day - but this is the highest I have officially been in MONTHS. I KNOW - theoretically that my weight may drop in the next couple of days now that my period is really underway - but it also may not.

I think I am not active. I have always thought of myself as comparatively active for someone who sits at a desk all day. I am the one who runs errands, works standing up a lot, moves around - but my steps on a non gym day have consistantly been under 3000. In fact, I do most of my walking by noon. I only walked 1000-ish steps after 1pm yesterday. This is really bad considering I didn't go to bed until close to 1am! No wonder I gained so much weight after I left Antrim!! I don't know quite what to do. I know I can be a lot more active on my days off instead of hanging out around the house. So - that is three days. That may help a little bit. I HAVE to get back into going to the gym at lunch time. That is only sometimes my fault. I have a real tendency to work through lunch. I know days that I have meetings down the street I am more active just because I leave my desk and go to my car! I have to focus on that now.

Anyway - if I am going to be more active, I had better get busy doing some work. The reason I work through exercise time is because I have too much to do!!

I'm with the grouch on this...

Like Sarah, I have not even been trying the past week or so. Ever since we starved ourselves two weeks ago and then pigged out on Sunday (Easter) I have been too lazy to do more than roll my eyes at the scale...

I have eaten whole meals based entirely on Easter candy and hard cider (ironically enough my weight is usually DOWN the day after those days...) I have been as low as 207.2 (Saturday) and as high as 209.2 (today and Wednesday). I HAVE been weighing myself daily - but it is kind of with a perverse eagerness to horrify myself. I keep expecting to top 210 (thank goodness THAT hasn't happened - yet). I have done minimal exercise. I DID however discover that I own a one mile Walk Off The Weight video - and in honor of Emily - did it one night while wearing half work clothes (top half) and half virtually nothing else (butt half). I kept hoping my neighbors were already in bed so my horrific display would go unnoticed. But I was curious to watch the video - and since I was right there, I decided to give it a shot. That was on Thursday. I can't rememember what else I did - but it must have been something, because my steps were close to 10,000 three days last week. (Keep in mind - on non gym days I stall around 3000.) Katie and I did some mildly heavy gardening yesterday, and some very heavy cleaning (although, you still really can't tell...) yesterday. Neither of those activities count towards the steps so much - which is fine, since I always forget to wear my pedometer on weekends. (May have something to do with the forgetting to get dressed until about 2 in the afternoon...)

OK - Back to my horrible week. I ate half a pizza on one of my healthier days. I reported that already. On Saturday morning I woke up from a dream of a meatball sub (I had NOTHING but candy the night before that, I am sure I was craving protein) and made myself bacon and eggs for breakfast. I also then modified a Let's Dish mini meatloaf into a meatball sub to satisfy that craving. I did the same thing for dinner on Sunday. Katie has a swollen tooth or the mumps or something - so she hasn't been eating - leaving more for me. Sigh.

Today I wasn't SO bad. I had two hard boiled eggs, a thing of V-8, one and a half of Sarah's Easter muffins (not bad - even after a week and a half - that was the last of them), and a marshmallow Easter egg, a jelly bean and two of the dark chocolate foil wrapped eggs. Sigh. I have an orange and a thing of applesauce waiting for me - but I haven't been able to face them yet. I also had a lot of coffee... with skim milk. We have chicken Marsala thawed for dinner tonight.

I haven't made it to the gym today - nor will I. We (TESSCO) acquired a new company in Texas. I have been extremely tied up in getting that off the ground by today. Hopefully I did everything right - so they can get their checks this week. We also have been in the midst of a hideous audit, the fiscal year end (and therefore HOPEFULLY bonus time), a board meeting last week (I do a good number of the board reports) and of course, all of the same stuff I have to do every week, biweek, and month. Sigh. It has been busy. I hope Katie will want to go for a walk when I get home though, so I won't feel QUITE so guilty. Tomorrow IS weigh in day after all...

Anyway - my period FINALLY started today - so maybe I will magically drop four pounds before the next weigh in day (not tomorrow - that is too much to hope for). Not that it would matter that much. Even if I drop four pounds that would only bring me to 205.2... which, while WAY better than what I HAVE been seeing - is not where I should be now.

Yucky

I don't like apples. I've never much liked apples and I particularly don't like them this time of year when they all seem to have been sitting around since October and the only ones available are really tart, which tastes terrible to me. And the sweet ones are mushy, which is gross. But I'm sitting here having my second apple of the day and hating every minute of it. Plus it makes my teeth hurt. It's a bad time of the year for fruit in general--there aren't any summer fruits available yet, but the winter ones have either gotten gross or you're just sick of them, or both. I've got some pears ripening at home--about the only fruit I can still stand. I can't gag down bananas more often than once a year. The good oranges seem to have disappeared from the grocery stores. The melons that are available are nasty. I even saw watermelons yesterday. I hate to think what country they were imported from--making sure to pick them when they were so unripe that they could make the journey, thus rendering them completely tasteless.

While I'm on the subject, I also hate tea. I don't see how people drink this stuff for pleasure. It tastes like boiled weeds. I manage herbal tea from time to time and it isn't bad, but green tea is nasty, no matter what you cut it with. But I'm drinking it anyway because it's supposed to be good for you--all those antioxidants and supposed to boost your metabolism and help you live forever. But I can't help but wonder if the stress of drinking this stuff that I hate cancels out any benefit from drinking it? Has there been any good research on the health benefits of coffee?

Dave Barry quote for the day: "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity."

And I bet you I'm still 136 tomorrow.

Not even trying

Confession: this morning (not official, of course, since it's only Monday) I was 136.2 pounds--up two and a half pounds from last week. The reason, of course, is my eating habits. With the Easter candy lying around last week, I overindulged every single day. Didn't once try to reign in my eating. And since I was eating so much candy, I guess I figured I could eat whatever I wanted. So we had pizza, and pot pies, and bacon and eggs, and ravioli, and subs. Last night, after eating a sub (turkey, salami, two kinds of cheese, lettuce, tomato, big white sub roll) for dinner, I followed up with two beers and potato chips while watching West Wing.

I saw this happening last Thursday. When the scale that morning read 136, I was shocked that I had gained so much in just two days. So did I scale back my portions, make healthy choices, and increase my exercise? No way! Instead, I just stopped weighing myself. I didn't step on the scale between last Thursday and today and I did it on purpose.

I don't like to think what my weight would be if I weren't exercising. I am at least getting to the gym three days a week and hitting the magic 10,000 steps on the pedometer daily (well, one day I was at nine thousand something, but many days I'm over 12,000 steps). I haven't been doing pilates because of the ongoing Davey issue (still gets in the way, sits on the mat behind me, tries to lick my nose off and catch my legs), but I probably get more raw calorie burn from walking him anyway.

I considered fasting today to get my weight down for weigh in day, but that would be cheating, and counterproductive anyway--the weight loss is always just temporary, so I'd still have to lose the actual fat I've put on. Instead I packed super-healthy stuff. I had cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and packed yogurt and fruit for meal and snack at work. I'll have to find something really healthy for dinner as well. And most of the Easter candy is gone now, so that won't be around to tempt me. Can you believe I found a brand of jelly beans that I just don't like? The Lifesaver ones are just not very good, so we have a bowl of them that I'm not eating. I'm just disgusted with myself that instead of three pounds to lose, I have six pounds to lose!

My new goal is to get that weight off by Memorial Day so I can start the "official" summer season at my goal weight.

The Long Way Around

OK - Weight yesterday was 209.2 today was 208.6. I stayed at home ALL DAY waiting for a guy to come by and give me an estimate on removing my tree. He never showed up. By 6pm I was getting twitchy from sitting still all day - so I went for about a mile and and a half walk. So my steps yesterday were about 5600. I ate 10 pounds of Easter candy. My gums were hurting from all of the sugar. Ugh. I really should have taken a four mile walk. Regardless, my weight was lower today than it was yesterday anyway.

Today - I discovered that if I walk around the circle in the middle of TESSCO 27 times I will have walked a mile. This means if I take the long way around on my way to the bathroom I will have to go 27 times to add a mile to my normal steps (of about 3000 per day - sigh...). I did walk around it twice so far... once to clock it, and a second time on my way to the bathroom. However, if I go the long way around both coming and going to the bathroom it is not a full 2 twenty-sevenths of a mile, because about a third of it would be cut off each way. I have to do the math still on the number of times I would have to go to the bathroom to walk an extra mile in a day if I went the long way around both ways. Of course, half of the time by the time I actually leave my work to go to the bathroom I have to run anyway, so adding extra steps on the trip TO the bathroom is not a good idea.

Stupid fad diets

OK, so to backtrack a little bit--last week I was still stuck at 134. Actually I can't remember for sure what my weight was last week, but I remember thinking it was the same as the week before. By Friday I weighed in at 134.2 Then Amy and I did the fasting detox diet thing on Friday, and I was all hopeful that I would lose a couple of pounds because of it (although I wasn't entirely counting on it). So I starved myself all day long, and when I weighed myself on Saturday I was 134.6 *sigh* Half a pound UP from Friday. So much for the detox diet. I've decided that these fad diets that promise all this crazy weight loss are just that--crazy. I'm done with them. The only success I've ever had has been with THIS diet we're doing, and that's just the traditional cut back, exercise, low fat, low cal diet.

Today I weighed 133.6, which isn't bad at all, considering. Yes, as Amy said, we ate an ENTIRE pizza last night. No, wait, and entire LARGE pizza last night. Yes--thin crust. Which is half the calories of normal crust (only the crust part--the rest is the same) but is still an ENTIRE LARGE PIZZA. What is WRONG with us? I blame Amy entirely--it's all her fault. SHE suggested pizza. I said--but we have chicken thawed!! No, no, we had to have pizza. It was really yummy. =)

Sunday was a miserable failure for me, just like the rest of you. I did pretty well on the candy front, because for some reason I find myself on a protein kick every Easter Sunday (this has been going on for a few years now--I am DYING for sugar up to that day, and then suddenly it's the hard boiled eggs that appeal to me!). So I only ate about 5 jelly beans and a marshmallow egg. But I ate pretty well at our brunch (french toast, bacon, fruit, green beans, salmon, about 12 mimosas--just kidding, Mom--it was really only about 4 or 5 all day). And THEN a scant 2 hours later I went to dinner at Charles's sister's house and ate WAY too much there too! Cheese and crackers, ham, more salmon, mashed potatoes, asparagus, broccoli, carrots and lima beans (which I haven't had in a million years and now I remember why--they're really gross). So I probably consumed about the same as Amy on Sunday--5000 calories. Maybe more, because she didn't have dinner. So I'm looking at more like 8000 calories. So I was expecting to be way up today, and it wasn't so bad!

Forgot Again!

Three weeks in a row I have forgotten that it is weigh in day. I am starting to think that my body is trying to tell me that I should weigh in on a different day!! Anyway - I was dreaming this morning that my weight was up over 215 pounds and I was disgusted because I have been dieting so long and yet it does me no good. Then in my dream I realized that I read the scale wrong and that I really weighed 212.2. So I felt better about that - even though that still puts me up by about 10 pounds from my lowest point. How is it that it took me four months of clawing my weight down to below 205 and overnight (literally) it can go all the way back up?

So - anyway - I was greatly relieved this morning to ACTUALLY weigh myself and see that my weight was 208. Sad, but true. I was relieved that I weighed less that I dreamed I weighed. Actually - this week is lower than the last TWO weeks (208.4 and 209). That is a miracle considering all that I have eaten in the last two days.

While I was at church on Easter I got one of those random cravings for a SUPER THIN crust pizza. Like the kind that is cracker thin. So Katie and I looked up the calorie count on that. The thin crust takes about 150 calories away from a slice of pizza. So - we decided to order one. WE ATE A WHOLE FRICKIN' PIZZA!!! I keep saying "But it was really thin!" STILL!!!

I didn't make it to the gym yesterday. I wanted to take a long walk last night - but Katie and I opted for pizza instead. Today I have to do SOMETHING. Probably the gym. I can usually work that in on Tuesdays.

I am still eating left overs today. Yesterday I ate all of my healthy food before I ate my two pieces of candy. Even when I got home I didn't actually eat much candy. I ate four of thoes sugar covered nouget blob eggs. Yum!! Then - since I was feeling like I was neglecting my candy consuming duties (seriously - I was thinking I hadn't eaten enough!!! I think the mind set was partially I have given myself mild permission to eat candy this week, and secondly, I want it to be gone sooner rather than later.) I also ate a Mounds egg. That was it. I didn't touch the pecan nouget eggs at all!

No change

I was 133.6 this morning, same as I was last week. I guess it's to be expected since I hardly exercised at all and I ate way too much, but it also means I have no wiggle room in the Easter candy department--I have to stay out of it entirely if I want to lose weight for next week! I don't think that's going to happen, though. I know myself and my lack of self-control well enough--it's a fairly safe bet that I'll be into the jelly beans (what's wrong with you, Julie? Jelly beans are the best!) and malted milk eggs all night.

Yesterday's food was predictable--good breakfast and lunch, good snacks, junk all evening. I went to the gym in the afternoon and discovered that the pedometer is very accurate. It says that 2000 steps is roughly a mile; I went 2.74 miles on the treadmill and the step count was something like 7,100 (running steps are longer so it'll take fewer steps to cover the same distance--I should test it with walking steps, but of course each person's stride is a different length too so that would make a difference). My total steppage for the day was twelve thousand and something. I have it written down at home. Today I'll get a baseline for my steps on a workday without a trip to the gym. I'm guessing in the 5,000 range.

Up...

158.5 today. BUT it could be worse given Easter and my indulgence in the fruity pebble rice krispy treats.

I'll be MIA for the next few days...I leave tonight for a training class in Vienna, VA that runs W-Th-F. My hotel has a exercise center, so I should be able to keep up and I'll have no commute so there will be plenty of time to spend in there. Plus I'll be less than a half mile from Tysons Corner. I plan to go shopping one night just since I'll be so close.

Surviving Easter

I brought home about 14lbs (equals 25,000 calories) of candy from Joe's mom's yesterday. Here's my current inventory: 12 of those chocolate eggs--4 different kinds, 3 of each--cadbury, butterfinger, caramel filled and snickers, 3 milky way bunnies, 4 Reese's eggs, half of a bag of mini butterfinger eggs, a dozen malted milk eggs, 2 dozen choclate eggs with the candy shell, jelly beans (ick--they hit the trash immediately...bad experience as a child throwing up the black ones...haven't touched the things since...),2 hollow chocolate bunnies, 10 mini tootsie pops, 2 push pops, and a small ziploc of the el-cheapo Easter chocolate that comes in those foil wrappers. That won't get eaten. I am freezing the 12 eggs...they will be very yummy come summer when you can't get those. Plus I would just eat every darn one of them. I don't honestly recall getting this much candy from my own parents when I was a child, but Joe's mother is not known for her ability to moderate anything...

We had lasagna and stuffed peppers for Easter dinner. I had a respectable piece of lasagna, but no seconds, a small salad, a piece of garlic bread, and a small piece of coconut cream pie. I was very proud of how well I managed my food at dinner. I ate about half of the malted milk eggs Sunday evening as well.

Joe's mom is going to find out this week when her gastric surgery is scheduled for. She has really been careless with herself--yesterday was the first time I've spent a considerable amount of time with her since Christmas, and she has gained so much weight it is shocking. Her thighs each are about as big around as both of mine together, and we all know that's my prime fat storage location!!!! I couldn't believe how much she had gained. Her belly is really big too. I sat there and just wondered how she ties her shoes. It must be a real chore.

Food over the weekend was under control for the most part. Where it got out of control was I decided to make rice crispy treats with fruity pebbles. How many calories do you think there are in an entire 13 oz box of fruity pebbles?? Those things were so delicious I couldn't stop eating them.

I exercised every day but Friday, hitting 15,000+ steps on Saturday and just over 10,000 Sunday. Friday was just under 6,000.

OH!! And I started my goodie bags. This is fun! And I'll have you know that I will probably be missing a deadline for City of Annapolis parcel & zoning updates because I spent so much time this weekend playing with my goodie bags instead of working overtime like I was supposed to...heeheehee...can't wait to explain THAT to my boss...

My favorite food in the whole world

5000 Calories. That is how much I ate yesterday. Actually, I have no idea how many calories I ate - but 5000 seems like a reasonable estimate. I had a latte in the am, followed by a mounds egg, and some other candy (not much though). Then after church I started working to get ready for brunch. I drank some coffee (with half and half) (a full mug by the end of the day) and a preliminary mimosa (although I didn't finish it right away). Then I had a piece of each type of French Toast cassarole (mine was better than the Let's Dish version) two pieces of bacon (I intended to eat more, but ran out of time), some salmon, some of Sarah's yummy green beans, fresh fruit (which was awesome! I had seconds), and I think that is it. I drank probably three or four mimosas throughout the day, and a big glass of orange juice after everyone left (to finish off what was in the pitcher). Then - later, once my stomach had a little bit of room again, I ate a hard boiled egg, four Peeps chicks, a Snickers egg, a Cadbury Cream egg (much sweeter than I remember them being...) and - my favorite food in the whole world - a pecan nouget egg. I ate the whole darn thing. It was a small one. My Easter basket had two large and one small one in it. I still have the two big ones waiting for me. 8-) I picked at some small pieces of candy throughout the day but I can't even remember them and I am pretty sure there weren't many. I was too full up on mimosas and French toast.

I packed my lunch today from the leftovers. Sadly, in a moment of insanity I told Sarah not to leave me any green beans. I thought I told her that I changed my mind - but I guess I just thought it. I brought with me today French toast for breakfast, which was almost as good reheated, fresh fruit, salmon and a V-8 (instead of green beans). I also packed a peanut butter egg and a marshmallow egg. I MEANT to pack hard boiled eggs, but somehow didn't. I DID go back to skim milk and no sugar in my coffee. Sigh.

Friday Katie and I fasted. I was 209.4 Friday am and 207.6 on Saturday. I think the drop had more to do with the long walk we took and the hours of work in the garden we did on Friday than the freaky diet. I was 207.6 still on Sunday and today (dispite my overeating yesterday) I was 207.8. I also feel my period coming on - but it could be a week or more before it actually starts knowing me.

I forgot to wear my pedometer on both Saturday and Sunday - which is a shame because I was moving around A LOT both days. Friday my steps were 9828.

Easter overindulgence

I'm with Emily--I can't stay away from the Easter candy, even though it's making me feel sick to eat it! After fasting all day Friday I was down to 131.0 on Saturday morning, then 132.8 on Sunday morning, and then today I was 133.2--so probably by tomorrow morning I'll be back up to what I was last week! Yesterday's food was ghastly--hard boiled eggs for brekfast, of course, and just a few jelly beans before church, so I was starving for brunch and ate everything in sight--the french toast thing, bacon, fruit salad, green beans, more candy, tons of coffee. Then candy all afternoon and pizza for dinner (very traditional, isn't it? At least we ordered it with ham!). Ugh.

I didn't post much at all last week since I was out of my usual habits, but for the most part I ate just as I usually do--healthy breakfast and lunch, junk all evening. I also didn't exercise (I think I already reported that) but I DID walk a lot each day, much to my surprise. On Saturday I took off the pedometer at 8:30 when I was up to 11,552 steps. And then I did the whole bedtime routine, Easter basket routine, housecleaning (wouldn't want the Bunny to trip over junk), dishes, etc. So I'm sure the final step count was impressive. Today, back at work, I've already sat still for longer than any day all last week. But I did find out that it's about 450 steps from the parking lot to my office--pretty close to the quarter mile I was guessing. I'll go to the gym at lunch today as well, so I'll be interested to see what that number is.

Today I had a hard boiled egg for breakfast (surprise!) with a leftover blueberry muffin, and I just ate almonds for snack. I packed one piece of Easter candy to eat before going home so maybe I'll get that "fix" and not overindulge tonight. Yeah, right.

Early weigh-in

Much to my surprise, I did not gain back all 40 pounds yesterday, despite having eaten like a pig from dawn to dusk. Or, rather, from post-church to midnight. I ate Easter candy (lots, and it kept making me feel gross -- why can't I leave it alone?), a waffle brunch, and a roast chicken dinner (with stuffing, potatoes, gravy, corn, green beans almondine, rolls with butter, salad, and wine). And then later Daniel broke into the cheddar so I had three small slices of that. Ugh. Despite all that, my weight was only up a half pound from the day before, and it was down from last week, so I was at 133.0. Tomorrow I won't be home, so that's official for me this week.

I haven't posted much because I'm lame (no good reason!). Last week I did Body Pump on Tuesday, 45 minutes of bike on Wednesday, and heavy gardening on Friday (I cleared a large bed of weeds for about two hours). After Friday I hurt for two days so I didn't do any exercise over the weekend. This week will involve little official exercise and a lot of car time. And I will not eat well, either, because there are 100 pounds of candy in my house, give or take, and I'll be traveling, to boot.

Today I'm having to remind myself that even though Lent is over healthy eating isn't -- I can retintroduce sweets, yes, but I need to do so reasonably and not feel like I need to eat nothing but junk for a month straight. So that means I should still do salads if we do drive-through and I should still choose fruit or almonds over cookies (at least sometimes!).

Two kids and a dog

I think that's the secret to 10,000 steps a day. I got my pedometer on Wednesday afternoon, put it on around 2:00. By bedtime I was at 5,148 steps. Yesterday I took 10,280 steps over the course of the day. That was for just a usual weekend day--I didn't actually exercise. But I realized as I was wearing this around that I pretty much never sit down for more than a few minutes when I'm at home--there's always an interruption or something that needs immediate attention, so even if I intend to sit down to do something, I have to hop up and run around for a while. I sent an email to Amy yesterday that took 150 steps. Of course I'm sure I do a lot less when I'm at work. To get my baseline average over three days, I'll do one weekend day, one workday without a trip to the gym, and one workday with a trip to the gym. If anone would like to increase their daily steps, tell them they can come take over my life for a day or so.

OTOH, I haven't been good about exercising--I ran on Tuesday and that's it for the week. I also haven't been eating very well. Actually I have--my meals have stayed small and healthy, but I've been snacking too much while at home (it's just THERE all the time!) and getting into Easter candy. Yesterday I decorated cupcakes to look like Easter baskets, but that involved jelly beans and Twizzlers, so I ate them as I worked. At least Easter is the last big candy season until Halloween so I won't continue to be tempted. Summer is just for cotton candy and that has almost nothing in the way of calories and no fat at all. My weight this week has stayed at 133.6.

Oh, I did lose a couple of ounces! I went to get my eyes examined for new glasses on Tuesday and the doctor decided that I didn't need glasses--my eyes reverted back to pretty good. I have 20/20 vision out of both eyes individually and 20/15 together. My right eye is not perfect (would need a .25 correction--the glasses I was wearing were 1.25) but isn't bad enough to really need glasses. After three days I'm not entirely sure I agree--I can see just fine but my focus is off. Kind of like being underwater. But that could just be because I've been so used to being overcorrected, so I'm going to give it a few weeks and see how I adjust.

Yesterday...today

Well, yesterday my weight was 206.2 today it is 208.6. I don't get it. I drop three pounds overnight and then gain another 2.5 back. My body is wacky and I won't stand for it anymore!!!

My eating was pretty crappy yesterday so I do believe the whole weight gain thing. I don't understand the weight LOSS the night before however. Yesterday I bought cookies at Trader Joe's. They were called Druid Cakes - or something like that... so I cound't resist. They were (are - I didn't eat them all) REALLY good oatmeal raisin cookies. I had a bran muffin for breakfast and a sushi roll (and cookies) for lunch, and a pear mid-afternoon. Then dinner was at Let's Dish - so I had two scones and a slice of crab quesadilla. I think I ate something at home last night - but I can't remember what. I know when I went to bed last night I wasn't hungry - but I don't remember what I ate. I picked a little bit at what I made for the bake sale today - but really not much. OH! I remember! I had a roast beef sandwich with horseradish. The beef was well done - which I think is a crime. So, I didn't particularly enjoy it. No wonder I didn't remember it.

I had no exercise yesterday other than running around. I really wasn't home much yesterday - except in the evening after Let's Dish. I MEANT to do Pilates then - but forgot until after 10 - and by then I was tired and ready to go to bed (I had no coffee yesterday).

Today - so far - I have eaten a bran muffin (they are actually REALLY good) and a hard boiled egg. I also have consumed about 36 oz of coffee with skim milk (I am making up for yesterday) and am still wanting more. I dug out the herbal supplements that I bought from Arbonne last fall called "Optimal Digest." I want to see if that helps me process food a little bit better. (I was telling Sarah that with the amount of fiber I have been eating I should be a lot more "regular" - she told me I am not normal.) I am SURE I will keep you posted.

Let's Dish was fun last night. Usually when Katie and I are dishing there are two or three things that we want to go home and make right away. That didn't happen last night. The food all looked good (as usual) but nothing that was super appealing. Tonight I think we will have Chicken Parmesan - which is from last month.

Wednesday

My step goal was 5000, and I hit 6500 by bed time. I took a walk at lunch time yesterday, so that helped. Food was a muffin, banana, raisins, 100 calorie pack, yogurt, laughing cow cheese and 5 crackers and then LD leftover burrito for dinner. No time for the treadmill last night though.

Today I'm aiming for 10,000 again. Shouldn't be an issue because I have a meeting at JMT's WTC office at the harbor so that is a mile round trip from the DPW building, and I'm going to hit the treadmill tonight.

The other evil side of food...

Have any of you ever known someone with an eating disorder? I am pretty worried about my friend Jen who just had her first baby a month ago. She barely gained 15 lbs her entire pregnancy, and she weighs less now than before she was pregnant and she’s breastfeeding. She eats virtually nothing all day, maybe a yogurt, and then takes the baby on 2 or 3 walks. And she’s sleeping very irregular and is absolutely exhausted all the time—even for having a new born. She's probably 5' 7" and might weigh 100 lbs right now. (It's Jen Meacham--she was in Katie's class at Mercy.) She's always been tall and skinny, but given the tiredness and the not eating it has become very worrisome. She's looking very "Kate Moss" right now. I don't like seeing her so run down.

On the fat side of things....I ate a lot yesterday. Food was oatmeal, yogurt, a cookie, 100 calorie pack, laughing cow cheese, 5 crackers, banana, grapes, string cheese, and a LD bean burrito for dinner. I had a few spoons of Ben & Jerry's too. Mainly I picked the heath bar bits out of the ice cream.

Exercise was good BUT no pilates. I walked 12, 338 steps though. I did remember my situps. Today I am shooting for 5000 steps because there won't be time for the treadmill tonight since I am dishing with Amy & Katie.

150

I guess it could be worse--it was 151 yesterday. I am really not trying very hard. My bowl of cereal this morning was too large, and for lunch I had a blueberry yogurt, two cookies and a glass of milk, and a handful of almonds. I was vacuuming the livngroom/ dining room/porch, and every time I walked through the kitchen I would grab more almonds or raisins. We are going out for supper tonight, and I'm sure I'll eat too much. Oh, I had a small clementine a while ago. Next I have to clean and vacuum the basement--doesn vacuuming count as exercise?

But I did get a couple of walks in last week, and I have spent a lot of time at rehearsals, which are hard work but don't burn many calories!

134.0

So now it's official, on a Tuesday and everything; I'm below my pre-wedding weight from 1993. I'd like to get down to 130 eventually and then stay there. I know it won't happen before Easter, and then once Easter is here I'm allowed sweets again, which means it's going to be harder to get to that 130 and harder to stay put. I'm going to have to get better about exercise.

Last week I was really good about working out; I went to the gym three times and walked a short distance one day and did a Walk and Pilates one day. So four days of real exercise and a fifth of just a bit. This week I'm already off to a bad start; last night we didn't go to the gym at all. I was thinking I would like to get to a mid-week Body Pump class, but on Wednesdays it conflicts with swim lessons and on Tuesdays the class is at 6:45, which gets in the way of dinner. But Daniel has to teach on Tuesdays, at least for a couple more weeks, so I may be able to manage that one anyway -- I'll see how the day goes. If I decide not to go to BP I will try either to get to the gym or to do some home exercise.

Slow and steady

Weight GAIN that is... Sigh. Today I was 209 even. That is up by .6 from last week, which was up .4 from the week before - which was up a pound from the week before that. I am gaining. AGAIN! I have been up every week since I returned from the cruise. (Except for one - on 3/21 I was down .6 from the week prior to that.)

I KNOW I can't quit now. I know this because I am SURE that if I do I will gain 30 pounds in two weeks. I don't know what to do. The eat less exercise more is bs if you ask me. I eat WAY less (and much better) than I did a year ago - and yet I weight virtually the same. I exercise 300-500% more than I did a year ago - and yet I am wearing the same size clothes.

I am a freak! I am convinced of that. I always suspected that I was - but now I am sure of it. There is something wrong with me beyond lack of will power and laziness.

Although - since I am on the subject - I didn't go to the gym again yesterday. I DID work out four days last week (2 Pilates sessions, and two cardio sessions). I will shoot to increase that to five days this week...

My steps were again just at 3000 yesterday (no gym... but, as I said to Sarah, usually if I don't go to the gym it is because it is crazy at work, which means I am attached to my computer...). Today I am currently at 1104, but I think that is mostly because of my increased water intake. I have walked to the bathroom four or five times so far.

Here is my concern. I am really worried that I don't know what else to do. I know what I have to do is give up more - but my only remaining vice is my gormet coffees. I need to cut them out of my life. But - I have already made them consistantly skim milk. I often DON'T get the sweetened ones. And I don't get them every day. I don't know how much good it will do to rid my life of them - other than to really piss me off.

But - I DID happen to notice that my slow, steady weight gain started JUST about the same time that I quit smoking. Odd, don't you think? - I am not going to bars as much, because it isn't as much fun as it is when I smoked - so fewer alcohol calories. I DO know that nicotine does help to increase your metabolism. But so does caffine. I suspect that if I quit coffee AND nicotine I will ALSO gain the aforementioned 30 pounds in two weeks.

I am having my jaw wired shut. I wonder if that would work.

133.6

Whew! I was worried about weighing in today--I had been in the 133 range for several days at the end of last week and the weekend, but then I did the all-pizza diet on Sunday (you know, the one where you have a french bread pizza for lunch and then your husband makes meat lovers pizza for dinner and you have two pieces?) and my weight Monday morning shot up to 134.8--yikes! But fortunately it seems to have been a temporary thing and I'm back down today. Still not losing the 1 to 2 pounds a week as I was back at the beginning, but then, I'm not eating as little as I was back then. Apparently the key to maintaining my weight is to eat my usual tiny meals and then snack all evening, because that's pretty much what I've been doing.

I haven't exercised since Friday. I did all of my planned exercise last week, but to keeping it up this week will be difficult since I'm not at work (and thus away from the gym). Today I need to go running and do pilates twice to get caught up to where I'm supposed to be with exercise. I've got my running clothes on now so I'll head out as soon as I've finished this, then I'll do one pilates DVD when I get back.

And still no iPod. I have to take my regular one in to be fixed, and I left the shuffle under a pile of papers at work! Ugh. I hate running with no soundtrack!

A new low, I think?

157.8. Much better than last week's 160. I'll have to check with Amy since she's the master spreadsheet keeper, but I think I've only seen the 157's on non-weigh in days so far.

I got my pedometer from Amy yesterday. Total step count from about 1 pm until bedtime was 8668. Better than the 7000 I targeted. Today I'm going for 10,000.

Food yesterday: oatmeal, yogurt, laughing cow cheese (yummy new french onion flavor--the little wedges are only 35 calories each!), 5 ritz crackers, carrots, grapes, a banana, pb & j on wheat, 100 calorie pack of mini cookies, 2 chocolate covered raspberries, 2 mini peanut butter cups, string cheese and a yucky protein bar from the Get Fit MD goodie bag.

Exercise was 55 minutes on the treadmill. I need to do the pilates dvd tonight in addition to walking, and I forgot to do my sit ups last night. I fell asleep at like 8:30 somehow, and then was awake half the night.

The Get Fit MD bag is the perfect size for sneakers. I brought mine to work today hoping to get outside at lunch time since it is supposed to be such a nice day.

Weekend Update

My weekend was pretty controlled for the most part. Saturday food was string cheese, cracker barrel breakfast at 2 pm and then an apple sometime later that night. I spent 50 minutes on the treadmill. Sunday was oatmeal for breakfast, hotdogs for lunch and pork tenderloin for dinner. Not the best food, but not much snacking in between either--I think I had one snack of raisins. I spent 50 minutes on the treadmill again. I also cleaned the house this weekend--lots of vacuuming since Harry is going through his yearly shed, cleaned 2 closets, and washed some of the windows. Weight yesterday was 158.1, today was 158.5. I'd like to be somewhere in between there tomorrow.

In cleaning out my closet Sunday I realized I have plenty of clothes that I just need to lose a few more pounds to be comfortable in again. It is silly really. 5 more pounds and I think my entire closet would be back in play.

This week I need to add pilates to my regime consistently. I did the video one time last week thr whole way through. I don't enjoy it as much now for some reason. There was a point a few months ago where I loved that video. I am going to do it Tuesday and Thursday this week. Last Friday I added 30 full sit ups to my daily game plan and I have done that 3 days in a row now.

Steps

Friday I didn't make it to the gym. It was one of those horrible days where I didn't make it anywhere and I left at the end of the day saying "I am going to have to come in over the weekend" (which I haven't done so far). So my steps for Friday were just at 3000. I forgot to put the pedometer on yesterday and today - but I did Pilates yesterday. Katie sprayed ant spray just after I started, so it was a very miserable Pilates session.

I was really bad last night. I had a cheese danish at the fancy new scrapbook store in Bel Air. Then Katie and I went to Bonefish (where I was actually really good - I only had one drink and only ate half of my dinner). But then late last night I ate mint chocolate chip ice cream. I the ice cream was in our house because it was free at Wegmans. I SHOULDN'T have taken it - but I couldn't resist the free part. I don't even care for mint chocolate chip that much...

Today - however, I have been pretty good. I made a "Puffy Flax Cake" which was kind of like a pancake - and surprisingly good. It had two eggs, 2T shredded apples, 3T ground flax seed and cinnamon. You cook it like an omlet/pancake. I spooned unsweetend applesauce on top of it then - and it was very good. Lots of fiber! Then - continuing my fiber kick - I made flax/bran muffins. They have carrots and apples in them. And dried fruit. Katie and I each just ate one. They weren't bad...

And now - I am going to eat an orange... Maybe do a video.

I did it!!

I finally hit 135.0 this morning!! I never really thought it was possible, but there it is.

Yesterday I did the 30 minute Walk and I did the Pilates Energy Boost workout, which takes less than 10 minutes, I think, but it's a great set of stretches right after aerobic exercise, and best of all it can be squeezed in between the end of the walk and the time I have to leave to pick up Mary from Girl Scouts. But I really need to do Pilates more than once a week.

Food yesterday was so-so. I had breakfast of raisin bran and a bunch of cantaloupe -- Mary, Alexander and I polished off a whole cantaloupe during the course of the day, each eating roughly a third of it, I think. Lunch wasn't good -- we went out to Backstreet's and had their pizza buffet, so I had two full slices and part of what I think was very thick foccacia with pepperoni pizza on top (not as good as it sounded -- the toppings drowned out the flavor of the bread, so it was pizza with too much floppy crust). Dinner was chili with white rice, and I kept my portion small. Over the course of the day I ate almonds (three times, about 8 almonds each) and a piece of string cheese. I probably had some pretzels as well but I'm not sure. Once again I didn't get enough vegetables, but that's not even news anymore. I went to bed not hungry but I was never stuffed during the day.

Today I was planning to get to the gym late afternoonish, but now I'm too tired -- we have Bible Study and then swimming (for fun, not a lesson) on Fridays, and we were going to go to the library as well, but even that was too much -- the pool really takes it out of me because I have to be constantly on alert. I have Stampin' Up tonight, too. I'm planning on doing Body Pump in the morning, though, so it's not like I'm taking a long break by not exercising.

new month!

OK, so it's officially been a month since my last post. How pathetic is that?! However, Amy came up with a good solution for me--I'm going to try to remember to post after I exercise when I come home from school. The past two weeks have been pretty good for me remembering (or rather, not just remembering but actually DOING) to exercise, so I'm going to try to get in the habit of exercising and then immediately going to the computer to post. I've been taking a class one or two times a week at the karate studio near me. The mom of two kids I babysit for after school some days is a gym teacher/aerobics instructor, and she talked me into coming. I've been doing this pretty consistently since last month, and I want to keep it up. I really like her class. And on the days I don't have class I've been doing our various workout videos/DVDs. I tend to do the Boot Camp one the most because it's both aerobic and toning, but today I did kickboxing and yoga. Now I'm tired and I hurt and I'm relaxed enough to take a nap. Does taking a nap after exercising negate all the good work you've done?

So, my last four weigh-ins. Four weeks ago I was 134.4, three weeks ago was 132.4, then 133.8 and now 134.2. I periodically dip down into the 131s, but I have yet to see a 130. And it's not uncommon to see high 134s. Sigh. I'm stuck. But like Amy said, we started the detox diet today. I'm aiming to lose the 8 pounds in one day that it advertises. =) I was telling one of the other teachers about this diet (mostly about how I was going to be picking cabbage out of my teeth all day) and she told me she did the cabbage soup diet once. She gained three pounds. Ugh. Of course, this is a woman who probably wears a size 2, so I don't know what she was doing dieting in the first place!

I officially have a new goal. I want to be below 130 before I leave for Austria. Everyone keeps telling me to be prepared to gain weight there, because of the pastries, and I don't want to get up above 135 (AGAIN!) while I'm there. But I also want to be even more in shape, so I can be prepared to do a lot of walking while I'm there.

Toxic Livers

I have been getting such a kick out of the Detox diet book. I read Katie the list of symptom last night for a toxic liver and ineffective colon and a insufficiant amount of stomach acid. We have most of the symptoms of all of the badness. Hee hee. I am not sure how seriously to take this book - except that she ISN'T trying to sell anything - and she does use lots of science - and I DO know that all of my weird symptoms probably aren't that normal. The inability to lose weight - especially when you are controlling your intake (the book SAID that!) is a sign of the lack of stomach acid. I am going to see if I can track down the weird supplement that you are supposed to add to your food (Ox Bile or something) that is supposed to help with that. It can't hurt - I don't think anyway.

So - today Katie and I have started our prequel diet to build up our livers to prepare for our one day fast next Friday. We made a slaw last night. It was very pretty - purple cabbage, celelry, green and red bell peppers... It was also supposed to have carrots, but we didn't have any and I didn't buy any. Also - the dressing was supposed to be made with olive oil - but we didn't have that either. I used a light dressing instead. Katie and I were joking that this purge is supposed to reduce our tendancy towards gassiness - but all of the foods that we are supposed to eat are the ones that MAKE us gassy. Maybe there is a reason for that.

Anyway - My steps for yesterday were 7900. Actually - I walked back and forth in my room a few times to hit the 7900. It was really 7901 - but then I walked a few more steps to get to bed. 8-)

My weight this morning was 207.6. Sigh...

My week so far

Yippee!! One more trip to the gym and I'll have reached my exercise goal for the week--I've been to the gym twice and did pilates three times. Barring any major work events, I should be able to get to the gym at lunch today. I also got in some unintentional exercise yesterday when I walked to my car in the evening and realized it wasn't there. No tragedy--just my usual forgetfulness. I had parked in a different lot, so I had to walk around the campus to get to the car. That was an additional 15 minutes of walking for the day! I can't wait to get a pedometer and figure out how much walking I do from the parking lot to the building each day. This is only temporary, though--they are putting in a new parking garage that will be closer, and it's scheduled to open in the late summer. Oh, I also cleaned the house like a demon last night--scrubbing the bathroom to within an inch of its life, vacuuming the stairs, mopping the kitchen, vacuuming the living room, sweeping our bedroom and upstairs hall.

Food has been so-so. Would you believe I got into the jelly beans again last night??? I bought at bag for Easter at Target yesterday then was so hungry on the way home (must have been all that walking) that I broke into them and started eating. Ugh! But other than that lapse, I've been pretty good, and have essentially cut out nighttime snacking this week. I think I've been eating vegetarian all week too--bean and tomato and corn quesadillas one night, the leftover fish and chips once, spaghetti with tomato sauce last night, and mock cinnabon and fruit one night (that was Tuesday when I was trying to scarf down something quickly between work and the SE meeting).

My iPod seems to be dead. I'm so sad! I'm sure it can be fixed, but it's a pain in the neck to have to take it in, and of course the warranty expired back in December. On Monday it was working fine, but then on Wednesday I took it out at the gym and it wouldn't work, then it started making ominous clicking sounds. Exercising is really boring with no music, too. I brought my Shuffle today, but the battery needs charging and I'm not sure if this piece of junk computer I have at work is actually charging it or not. Does anyone know what a blinking yellow light means? Does that mean it's charging?

Walking Away

I stuck one of the pedometers on me at about 3pm today. I then went to the gym about a half hour later. I walked on the treadmill for 42 minutes. My steps right now are at 6127. It seems to be pretty accurate. I have tested it on short trips (3 to 50 steps). I know I arrived at the gym at 368 steps and then when I was finished it was well over 5600 steps.

Food hasn't been great today - but I guess not awful either. I ate my applesauce, cereal with skim milk for breakfast. I told you about my lunch. This afternoon I have been munchie. I ate my cottage cheese and pineapples, and a really gross soy bar. Now I am drinking my V-8. I am going shopping after work for the detox food. I have to eat all sorts of weird vegetables. There is a recipe for a slaw that I think will help with the weird foods. I am going to try that.

I was watching Oprah today on the treadmill. She had Kirstie Ally on - and the two of them were talking about their problems with weight. Kirstie is the Jenny Craig spokesperson currently - and when she started with Jenny she was 219 pounds. She has lost 55 in 10 months - and looks good! She also quit smoking. I am very inspired by her - but discouraged too, since I HAVEN'T seen the weight drop off like that. Of course - I don't have a JC "helper" or two professional dancers to exercise with me!!

Seven Months

And I have lost a grand total of.......drumroll...... 8 pounds. Actually slightly less. I was 207.8 this morning.

I was reading my One Day Detox diet book last night. It is funny... there are so many problems that have the same sort of symptoms - and I have them all!!! My newest self diagnosis however, is that I don't have enough stomach acid. When I first started reading this section I thought that this would NOT be me - since I have such a problem with reflux... but then, listen to these symptoms:
Heartburn
Inflamed Gums
Weak Brittle Nails
Chronic yeast infections
Frequent sour taste
Chronic hives (Like my constantly re-occuring itchy bumps!)
And other more disgusting symptoms that I also have... OH - Waking up between 1am and 3am is another one... Bad breath, belching and rosacea are other symptoms that I don't THINK I have. It then goes on to give a complicated reason why this lack of stomach acid leads to resistance to weight loss. Hummmmmm. Anyway - they don't give a heck of a lot of what you can do to help yourself, other than eating a "liver healthy" diet - which consists of lots of yucky vegetables. Also, they advise against the low carb/high protein diets - which I am opposed to anyway. But - of cours - the detox diet is suppose to help me also.

I am being bad. I think. I can't tell if it is bad or not. I have forsworn my healthy sandwich that I brought for lunch and I am eating a salad. It is the Grilled Chicken Carribbean salad from Chilis. I was seriously addicted to these before - but haven't had one in a LONG time. I only used a little bit of the dressing (which is really the best part). It is GRILLED chicken, and salad - and pineapples, and mandarin oranges. It is very yummy. Don't tell me how many thousands of calories it is - I really don't want to know. I won't eat the whole thing.

Darn it!!

I was so good yesterday -- I went to the gym and did 45 minutes on the bike, and I didn't overdo the snacks. And the previous two days I was really good on what I ate, too, though on Tuesday my only exercise was our walk to French class. So I keep hoping I'll see 135. Last night before bed I was 136.0, and usually I lose a pound overnight -- but today I was 135.5 again!! I shouldn't be so impatient; after two weeks of very little exercise, not to mention months of bad eating, naturally I have some flab to work past before I can really lose weight again. But I guess I'll just have to keep on being good -- I know, I know, it's not about the weight, and the whole point is to keep on being good forever. It's just frustrating being this close to my goal, but not quite able to reach it.

This past weekend Daniel's sister-in-law came up with some jeans in my size (in immaculate condition, of course) so I no longer have those as a goal. But I still need some khaki pants and a plain black T-shirt, so I get to go shopping for those once I reach my goal. It's a real motivation, I can tell you! Last night I even went to bed hungry-ish -- I resisted the snacks.

Oh, and Daniel totally impressed me yesterday. He is wanting to get back on track with diet and exercise as well, so after his 50 minutes on the bike, he went to a Body Pump class! If he is recovered he'll go with me on Saturday morning, too. Hee hee!

Sticking with it

Except for my pervasive tendency to give into goodies where offered, I'm getting back into the good habits and mindset of pre-cruise. I've now gone to the gym twice this week and done pilates twice, I've reduced (but not totally eliminated) the nighttime snacking--yesterday I was fine between work and dinner, then after dinner was out at a meeting where there were lots of goodies and I didn't eat anything, but when I came home I got into the ice cream sandwiches and doritoes again. I told Brian this morning that I want those doritoes gone when I come home today. We'll see if he remembered in a couple of hours.

My weight this morning was 133.6. Now why couldn't I have been in that range yesterday?

Today

I was 207.4 this morning. I was really worried after yesterday that I would be over 210 this morning - I dread that! I DO NOT want to see over 210 again! I have to really work hard to start going down again. I know this!!

So - I just did Pilates. I was pleased with myself. I haven't done the Pilates video in quite a while - and I thought I would be weaker - but I wasn't. It was much easier for me to maintain the positions and exercises this time around. I even managed to do that plank one... The frontwards one. I still can't do the one where you are facing the ceiling - but I COULD get into the position. I just couldn't kick my legs. This is improvement. It is like my pictures of me. The photo from last summer that I thought was so cute I now realize was not very flattering. Maybe it is the hair cut - but my face looks much thinner to me... But my weight still sucks. I KNOW it is not about the numbers - and I really SHOULD have measured myself when we started - I am very sorry I didn't - I still would like to be below 200 - and closer to 160!

My food has not been good today. I have only had a latte so far. I did add two tea spoons of sugar - but it was a lot of skim milk!!

I am about to make a shopping list for my fat flush purge starting on Friday. I have to stock up on yucky vegetables. At least I LIKE cabbage.

Missed posting yesterday...

I was 160 yesterday. I logged on and read everything but just never posted.

Exercise yesterday was 30 minutes on the treadmill and then the pilates for Dummies dvd.

Food was ok UNTIL I got home and grazed on everything in sight. I was doing so good at NOT doing that! So over the course of the day I had: a cinnamon scone, string cheese, animal crackers, banana, carrots, yogurt, 2 hershey miniatures, shrimp curry, chocolate cake, 3 chocolate covered peanuts I fished from the rocky road ice cream container, 2 more hershey miniatures, another string cheese, and a strip of 2 day old bacon (seriously--WHY would I eat that?!?!?! Yuck. It was all chewy...)

134.4

Isn't that what I was last week? I did remember to moan and groan this morning. So a loss of nothing. Or maybe less than half a pound--I know I was 134.something last week

Got. To. Try. Harder.

Must. Resist. Adorable. Child. With. Ice cream sandwiches.

I didn't last night. Resist her, that is. Of course the only reason she brought me one was so that I'd overlook the fact that she went down the basement and got herself one without asking. Stinker. I also ate more Doritoes while making dinner. Dinner was leftover fish and chips, but it was gross reheated so I didn't eat much. I put in 35 minutes on an exercycle yesterday (all the treadmills were taken), but only one quick walk with Davey since there was a storm on our heels. Daytime food was the usual. Today I've had oatmeal for breakfast, almonds for snack, then only pretzles and string cheese for lunch--I still have yogurt and an apple and should eat them soon. Or maybe I'll eat them at 4:30 to see if I can skip the Doritoes tonight!

New Challenge

Soon... Today we had the Shock Trauma Get Fit people down at the other building. They will be visiting THIS building next week. They have the Get Fit Program... and I am going to try to attach the details below. BUT, in a nutshell, this program is $10 per person or $7.50 per person for a pair or team. The cost includes a pedometer (they say it is a good one - they did a lot of research and paired up with a pedometer company to get one that is more accurate than most...) a gym bag and a log book. Everyday you log your steps in, and once a month they come by and drop off incentives that Kristy then distributes to everyone. They have contests and stuff like that too. So - I can have whoever I want join with me. All I need is your $7.50.

GET FIT MARYLAND
Lace up your walking shoes and join other TESSCO Team Members in their effort to GET FIT!!

Take the Get Fit Maryland Challenge:
- Walk an extra 2,000 steps per day, or better yet, walk 10,000 steps each day
- Eat or drink just 100 fewer calories per day.

The Get Fit Maryland Program provides:
- A 12-week walking program aimed at obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease prevention and awareness;
- Pedometers, fitness centers, seminars, sound health advice from physicians and other health care and fitness professionals, and fun;
- Education, support, incentives, and encouragement of participants’ efforts to lose weight and make important lifestyle changes.

Program Cost:
- $10.00 per individual
- $15.00 for two individuals
***Cash & check payments accepted! Checks should be made payable to UMMS Foundation/GFM.

Registration
There will be a Get Fit Maryland Representative on-site at both the GLC and TAB over the next two weeks. Stay tuned for specific dates and times!!

TAB Registration – Atrium – Tuesday, April 4, 2006 – 9:30a – 11:30a
GLC Registration – Bob’s Café – Wednesday, April 12, 2006 – 2:00p – 3:30p

At registration, participants will receive a free Get Fit Maryland walking kit that includes:
- A Walk-4-Life pedometer
- Log book to record progress
- Giveaways that include a backpack containing health awareness cards, pen and more!
- Useful tips for sticking to the program and protecting your health.
- Free 30-Day Merritt Athletic Club membership.
- Coupons for products that are good for your health!

There are a variety of incentives that are awarded to successful completion along the way!!!
GET FIT TESSCO!!

I forgot again!!

Today is weigh-in day! That is two weeks in a row that I forgot. Not that it matters... I pretty much never forget to weigh myself. I just forgot to moan and groan with extra fervor this morning when I got on the scale.

I wish this was a blog to GAIN weight. I would be doing really well in that case! I was up and down again this morning. Up from last week, down from yesterday. I was 208.4 this moring. I think that my cruise weight is back and not going anywhere. Sigh. I worked SO HARD in January and February to get my weight going down again - and then it figured out what I was doing and started going back up. I don't even know what to blame it on this time... No exercise... Over eating on the cruise... Not counting EVERY calorie. I don't have the Girl Scout cookie, Halloween Candy, Christmas eating reasons anymore. I DO still have Girl Scout cookies - but I eat MAYBE one serving a day. That is 120-180 calories (depending on the cookies...). I KNOW I am not the best eater out of this group, and I know I am not the most consistant or hardest exerciser either... but I am not THAT much worse than the rest of you. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. This goes back to my original theory that if I diet I ultimately GAIN weight because the second I slack at all I gain back what I have lost PLUS extra.

I am going to detox this week. I have tried the most recommended form of diet (eat less and exercise more) and, so far, that has not worked for me... So I am going to go back to the fad diets. Starting on Friday I am going to begin the Fat Flush One Day De-Tox diet. It takes 11 days. Don't ask, I am not sure how a one day diet last 11 days either... THEN, after that I am going to do the regular Fat Flush. I will follow that up with the three day Cabbage Soup diet and then switch to South Beach. I predict that I will lose 1.2 pounds over the course of the next six months.

Seriously, I am going to Detox. It is a seven day prequel diet followed by a one day liquid fast (on Good Friday if I time it correctly) and then three days of a follow up diet - which I am SURE does not include Easter candy but DOES include eggs and salmon and aspargus and other stuff like that that I AM planning on serving on Easter.

135.5 again

Yesterday I actuay got some exercise. Neither Daniel nor I was enthused about going to the gym, but while we were having the conversation about not wanting to go, I got changed, and once I was in my gym clothes I was more motivated to go. So I went after dinner and did 45 minutes on the bike. Daniel went to the gym after the kids were in bed. My trip paid off, because I've been above 136 all week, but I managed to get back to last week's weight this morning, and now I'm re-enthused about the program, so I hope I'll finally reach my goal weight this week.

Food yesterday was so-so. I had bran chex for breakfast (no OJ; for some bizarre reason I didn't want it!), tuna and a piece of toast with margarine for lunch, and dinner of a small helping of spaghetti (made with ground turkey and green peppers). I had snacks of almonds (four times over the course of the day!!!), raisins, string cheese, pretzels, goldfish, and an apple -- so, too many snacks, and not always low-fat, but it could have been worse. Right now we're out of pistachios and we don't have an open bag of pretzels, so that should make today a bit easier -- if I could just stay out of the almonds and goldfish! I am planning to exercise after the kids' French class today; I haven't decided if I'll go to the gym or if I will work out at home, but I don't want to let the day go by with me being completely lazy.

Where did the day go???

OK - I ate my breakfast - finally - at 4:45. This was right after I got back from the gym. I FINALLY did it - I went to the gym. I just walked on the treadmill for 40ish minutes. I burned 404 calories... so 101 per 10 minutes - or 10.1 calories per minute. This should just make up for the skim caramel machiato I had this morning. Sigh. But - no food... So by the time I finshed at the gym I SHOULD have been operating at a deficit. That is when I ate my cereal and milk and pineapple tidbits.

I am hoping not to be so lazy tonight and actually DO some Pilates or something. I wish I had a room at home that has a treadmill, weight bench and maybe a Pilates mat. Maybe when Katie grows up and gets married and moves out I will turn her room into a workout room. Wouldn't that be nifty?

Let's see - $49 a month for the gym... That is $588 a year. I could probably get a pretty nice treadmill for that...

Good exercise, bad food

I'm still having food problems--having a hard time resisting anything yummy. On Friday I was at an off-site meeting and did skip the breakfast goodies (had just fruit instead) but then lunch was difficult. The ONLY food they had was meat--turkey, ham, or roast beef sandwiches on croissants. Sheesh! Not even tuna salad (not that I would eat tuna salad, but still, most people make an effort to appeal to non-meat eaters for meetings like this). So I took one of the sandwiches, took off the turkey so there was just a half a piece of cheese left, and added green salad to make a vegetarian sandwich. It wasn't very filling, though, so I ended up taking two cookies too. Then when we got back to campus there was a steel-topping ceremony for our new building and I indulged in the ice cream that they had afterwards. Sigh. That was it for the daytime but then for dinner we ordered pizza and I had two slices of that.

On Saturday I wasn't any better--I kept snacking on unhealthy things throughout the day, and I got a hot dog from the cart at Home Depot for lunch. I have no recollection of what we had for dinner that night, but then for dessert I made "sundaes" with the leftover cake pieces from Connor's birthday, whipped cream, and bananas. Sunday was more of the same--eggs and toast for brunch, LD chicken chili for dinner, and lots of snacks in between, including Doritoes, and an ice cream sandwich for dessert.

OTOH, I've been exercising or at least staying active. I didn't get to the gym on Friday (since I wasn't around at lunchtime) but I took Davey for two long walks in the evening, then I spent a lot of time Saturday and Sunday doing heavy yard work--lots of raking and digging. I planted my lettuce, peas, and spinach too. And I jumped on the trampoline a bit. Last night I did pilates and I don't hurt too much today, so I haven't completely lost the muscle tone I had gained before. My weight this morning was about the same as last week (134.4) so I guess the food and exercise were balanced. My goal for this week is to get to the gym three times and do pilates twice more.

I'm glad it's not just me

I also go no exercise last week. I don't have the sick kids excuse that Emily had. I only have a hectic work week and a hideous sinus headache as an excuse... Of course, Emily doesn't have the I am only home for an hour and a half of awake time excuse that I have. Then again, I did manage to squeeze in an awful lot of Cubis 2 playing time - and watched most of a season of Gilmore Girls... so I guess I can only claim the headache. I hate it though... I don't want to get back into the habit of no exercise EVER - so I am determined to get back to the gym AT LEAST three times this week!!!

Food was bad/good. It was bad because I ate too much I think - but good because most of what I ate was pretty healthy. I am addicted to the LD Shrimp Curry dish. It is spicy, but in a sweet way. It makes me sweat - but it is so yummy!! I made that for lunch yesterday (at about 3pm - I am all screwed up on the time change!) Katie was at Tracy's - so I ended up eating most of her half too. Well - about 1/2 of her half. It was really good. Then Katie made the Chicken Satays for dinner. I wasn't hungry after my big late lunch - but I ate half of that portion too - and all of my vegetables. All of this was yesterday. I don't remember much of Saturday... I had a Greek Hamburger for lunch, and pulled pork for dinner - no memory of snacks, although I am sure there were snacks. Friday Katie and Charles went to Cacoa Lane - which is a cute bar/restaurant in Ellicott City. I find the bar stools remarkably uncomfortable, and I don't like it as well as our other places - so I didn't go. Instead I stayed home and ate two servings of the cheese pasta from Let's Dish - and drank fuzzy navels. They really aren't as good as they were in college... I didn't have any sprite, and I used to always add sprite to mine. Yeah - so the more I think about it the food tended more towards the bad end of things. I ate a banana on Saturday.

My weight has been steadily climbing too. I was over 209 this morning. HOW did I jump four pounds since Friday? I didn't eat THAT badly!! My jeans that I was so proud to fit in again last November - and were my favorite ones all winter - were too tight to wear on Saturday. I am fat again. I think I am mostly bloated. I did wear my jeans yesterday to streatch them out again (I had just washed them) and I noticed that my belly was looking very round. Rounder than normal - like five months pregnant round... I think I am bloated. I am going to do the Fat Flush detox diet. It is a one day all liquid diet, with a seven day pre diet and a three day post diet. Maybe it will help with my five month belly.

Catching Up...

Yay Amy!!!! Good work ditching the cigarettes.

Whew! Last week was hectic. I hope this week settles down, but it is unlikely. Food has been ok the past few days.

Friday night we had a fondue party for my friend Jen--we were supposed to be taking her out to the Melting Pot for a girls night before her baby was born, but little Jillian decided to show up 5 weeks early so we ended up having the party at her house instead. It was a lot of fun. The baby is sweet too--tiny--but a very good baby. She mostly slept, but when she was awake she was pretty active and noisy. It was really cute. I made Emily & Daniel's modified Melting Pot traditional fondue recipe--which turned out awesome, and I made a version of a cheddar fondue Amy suggested that started with a dark cider as the base. That was delicious too. I was running so late Friday that my only exercise was flying around the grocery store and the liquor store at Mach 12 trying to get everything, and I still ended up being 40 minutes late.

Saturday Joe & I did some yard work and went shopping. Then we ate lunch at Lonestar where I had a 7 oz delmonico steak, baked potato and a salad. It was really good. That was all my food for the day except an apple dipped in nutella later that night. I did spend 50 minutes on the treadmill as well.

Sunday we also did yard work, and we had eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast, a donut for lunch (they looked sooooo good when we went grocery shopping) and then jerk chicken, potatos and green beans for dinner. Dessert was a glass of chocolate milk. I spent 50 minutes on the treadmill again.

So I'm back under 160...I think it was like 159.4 this morning? I can't recall exactly; I was partially comatose from the time change. This "springing forward" always causes me huge problems for about a week.

No exercise

I haven't had any proper exercise since the walk I took with Mom last weekend. On Tuesday I walked the kids to Mary's French class, but that's not even 3/4 of a mile round-trip. It's better than nothing, but only marginally so. I feel so blobby. Cecilia was sick all week (she's finally herself again today, hooray!) so I spent the week holding her. And reading -- I'm enjoying reading a lot again, for a change!

Food hasn't been any better than exercise, I'm sorry to say. Yesterday was particularly awful. I had my usual breakfast, but then lunch was from Long John Silver's, the most vile fast food on the face of the earth, as far as I can tell -- we wanted to get something without meat while we were on the road (we're in AL now), and that's the only place we could find that could do kids' meals without chicken or burgers. I ate about six of the French fries (they had a decent enough flavor but they were cold and chewy) and I had fried shrimp (I don't think there was a single non-fried thing on the menu) but about halfway through I gave up on the batter glop and ate the plain shrimp, pulled out of the crust. I did eat both hushpuppies, though (I love them and I never get them -- so even though these weren't very good ones they were still pretty yummy). And I had a sprite. I had absolutely zero snacks during the day. Dinner was very yummy but completely unhealthy -- it was sort of shrimp alfredo over spaghetti (only the alfredo was made with emmentaler and gruyere instead of parmesan, so it was more like fondue poured over shrimp and spaghetti), and I ate a medium-small serving, plus a small dressed salad (lettuce and croutons), plus two refrigerator-dough croissants and a glass of Riesling. In short, I had no fiber after breakfast except for a couple of pieces of lettuce, ditto on no fruits and vegetables, and far too much fat, cheese, starch, and shrimp. Ugh.

I expect today's food to be terrible for me as well -- we'll be going to a cookout for lunch, and it will probably be leftovers of that for dinner. Breakfast was pigs in a blanket (mini dogs and refrigerator biscuits -- how did this become a breakfast food?) and orange rolls (99% fat, not all that sweet, actually, but very rich and decadent -- again, how is this breakfast??), and I drank some OJ and ate a few bites of canteloupe, though there really was very little of the latter since it was out for the kids, not the grownups. Sigh. I think I'm going to go take extra fiber right now.

This week I hope nobody will be sick and clingy -- all three kids have had antibiotics this month -- and I really, really want to get back to exercising. Oddly enough, my jeans seem baggier than ever. Go figure.