Not even trying

Confession: this morning (not official, of course, since it's only Monday) I was 136.2 pounds--up two and a half pounds from last week. The reason, of course, is my eating habits. With the Easter candy lying around last week, I overindulged every single day. Didn't once try to reign in my eating. And since I was eating so much candy, I guess I figured I could eat whatever I wanted. So we had pizza, and pot pies, and bacon and eggs, and ravioli, and subs. Last night, after eating a sub (turkey, salami, two kinds of cheese, lettuce, tomato, big white sub roll) for dinner, I followed up with two beers and potato chips while watching West Wing.

I saw this happening last Thursday. When the scale that morning read 136, I was shocked that I had gained so much in just two days. So did I scale back my portions, make healthy choices, and increase my exercise? No way! Instead, I just stopped weighing myself. I didn't step on the scale between last Thursday and today and I did it on purpose.

I don't like to think what my weight would be if I weren't exercising. I am at least getting to the gym three days a week and hitting the magic 10,000 steps on the pedometer daily (well, one day I was at nine thousand something, but many days I'm over 12,000 steps). I haven't been doing pilates because of the ongoing Davey issue (still gets in the way, sits on the mat behind me, tries to lick my nose off and catch my legs), but I probably get more raw calorie burn from walking him anyway.

I considered fasting today to get my weight down for weigh in day, but that would be cheating, and counterproductive anyway--the weight loss is always just temporary, so I'd still have to lose the actual fat I've put on. Instead I packed super-healthy stuff. I had cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and packed yogurt and fruit for meal and snack at work. I'll have to find something really healthy for dinner as well. And most of the Easter candy is gone now, so that won't be around to tempt me. Can you believe I found a brand of jelly beans that I just don't like? The Lifesaver ones are just not very good, so we have a bowl of them that I'm not eating. I'm just disgusted with myself that instead of three pounds to lose, I have six pounds to lose!

My new goal is to get that weight off by Memorial Day so I can start the "official" summer season at my goal weight.