Slow and steady

Weight GAIN that is... Sigh. Today I was 209 even. That is up by .6 from last week, which was up .4 from the week before - which was up a pound from the week before that. I am gaining. AGAIN! I have been up every week since I returned from the cruise. (Except for one - on 3/21 I was down .6 from the week prior to that.)

I KNOW I can't quit now. I know this because I am SURE that if I do I will gain 30 pounds in two weeks. I don't know what to do. The eat less exercise more is bs if you ask me. I eat WAY less (and much better) than I did a year ago - and yet I weight virtually the same. I exercise 300-500% more than I did a year ago - and yet I am wearing the same size clothes.

I am a freak! I am convinced of that. I always suspected that I was - but now I am sure of it. There is something wrong with me beyond lack of will power and laziness.

Although - since I am on the subject - I didn't go to the gym again yesterday. I DID work out four days last week (2 Pilates sessions, and two cardio sessions). I will shoot to increase that to five days this week...

My steps were again just at 3000 yesterday (no gym... but, as I said to Sarah, usually if I don't go to the gym it is because it is crazy at work, which means I am attached to my computer...). Today I am currently at 1104, but I think that is mostly because of my increased water intake. I have walked to the bathroom four or five times so far.

Here is my concern. I am really worried that I don't know what else to do. I know what I have to do is give up more - but my only remaining vice is my gormet coffees. I need to cut them out of my life. But - I have already made them consistantly skim milk. I often DON'T get the sweetened ones. And I don't get them every day. I don't know how much good it will do to rid my life of them - other than to really piss me off.

But - I DID happen to notice that my slow, steady weight gain started JUST about the same time that I quit smoking. Odd, don't you think? - I am not going to bars as much, because it isn't as much fun as it is when I smoked - so fewer alcohol calories. I DO know that nicotine does help to increase your metabolism. But so does caffine. I suspect that if I quit coffee AND nicotine I will ALSO gain the aforementioned 30 pounds in two weeks.

I am having my jaw wired shut. I wonder if that would work.