Shuffling Through

OK - Katie has been gone for two days. Frequently I will go MORE THAN two days without seeing Katie more than a few minutes in the evening - but I think the whole concept of her being gone for five weeks is throwing me off my game. I moped around the house all weekend after I dropped her off at the airport on Saturday. I took a bath Saturday night - then I woke up VERY early on Sunday. Early enough that I seriously considered getting up and going to the gym before church. THAT didn't happen. I did take another bath and then a shower around 11am. I also painted the front door - and read a little bit. I have had a hard time settling in with a book lately. Must be the depression thing still. I haven't been eating much. Saturday the only thing I ate was a sandwich at Sarah's house. Although - I MUST have eaten something else Saturday night. I don't remember. By last night I was in the GIVE ME CHOCOLATE mode. I made brownies - of which I ate only two small ones (16 total in a square pan). I got reflux so ate two tums also.

Today I forgot to eat breakfast until 1:30!!! I did have a Caribou coffee though. Then when I got back from the gym there was a really skinny (1" at the widest point) slice of gooey caramel looking pie. I scraped the whipped cream off and scarfed it down. That has been my food for the day. I need to figure out what I want for dinner. I thawed Tandori Chicken - but I think that would make enough food for four meals!!!!

Anyway - my weight has been up and down the past few days. I was at 206.2 on Saturday - then back to 207 yesterday and 207.2 today. I will probably be 209.8 tomorrow. Sigh.

So - I DID go to the gym today for the first time in a week and a half. I think my trainer worked me too hard last time. In my memory the work out was a REALLY brutal one (for me). In reality it was ALSO really brutal - but do-able. So I did it. I am now stinky and sweaty. I came back to work with my hair mostly damp. I hate that. I don't have time to shower though. Oh well... That is why I try to go later in the day. Tomorrow I MAY go to do just cardio. I like that I have gotten to the point that my calves are nice and firm and I CAN walk at an incline for 45 minutes without feeling like I am about to keel over. So - I want to keep that up if possible...