I know I say this every time - but I really like Rebecca. I wasn't particularly looking forward to my session today - mostly because I didn't feel like much had happened in the last three weeks - and so I wouldn't have much to talk about. We ended up running over by 1/2 an hour! We talked a lot about psychological problems with food. She said she had the name of a cognative/behavioural therapist that might be able to help uncover childhood - I don't know what word would work - "issues" I guess - but that isn't right... that helped form my views on eating. I told her that I don't need help uncovering childhood problems, but I need help in reprogramming myself. I feel fairly sure that my problems are rooted in being one of six kids. As such, I felt like I had to compete for treats, and that there was never enough of them. Follow that up with the requirement to finish all food on my plate - even the stuff I didn't like (vegetables). While these "problems" aren't unusual or even BAD, for me I still feel like if I say no to something yummy I will miss out on my share and I won't have another chance - and eating vegetables is more of a punishment than anything. I know that these thoughts are totally irrational - but I see it in myself on a REGULAR basis! I would love to know if there IS a way to fix that.
Then we got back into the conversation on what I am replacing with the desire to eat. Sarah, I told her what you said about creativity. I then told her about my two most commonly reoccurring dreams (over flowing toilets and houses with mystery rooms) BOTH of which symbolize a feeling of repressing creativity and gifts. She suggested a book that she said changed her life. It is called Artists Way, by Julia Cameron. The way she described it sounded like it was a program that you can do alone of with a group, where you explore your creative impulses - or whatever. She said she first did it alone and then with a group of her girlfriends. I am going to track down the book. If it sounds interesting, I will see if it is something we can do as a group to help us all get more in touch with what we would like to be doing.
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Oh! Also - I told her about the meal plan "diet" that Katie and I are doing. I told her I have it set at 1300 calories. She really didn't think that was enough. I told her that I feel like I need the buffer for things like lattes and pistachio nuts and other "treats" that aren't on the plan. She liked that idea - as long as I am really getting 1600-1800 calories a day - which is what she (and pretty much EVERY diet book, doctor, website, nutritionist, etc) thinks I need at my height and build. I have been feeling hungrier again since I have started eating regularly and fresh good foods. So - maybe I have my metabolism going again.
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