I was 212.8 today. That is lower than I was expecting. I really thought I would be higher since I was 214 yesterday and 213-ish all weekend. So - good.
Katie and I have been really good about Fat Flush - but I have been having a problem waking up around 1am or 2am being REALLY hungry - and having to pee. So - I get up and pee, and then I scrounge. I tend to go for the organic flax seed cereal (dry) and (GASP!) the Christmas cookies. I hate myself for this. I don't hate myself while I am doing it - but the next morning I hate myself. I think "I have been so good - why do I sabatoge myself in the middle of the night?" I do wonder how I would be doing right now if I wasn't doing midnight raids. I am still losing - slowly. I don't know. I counteract my self loathing by being REALLY GOOD on Fat Flush during the day... Sigh. I also - in the logical part of my brain - tell myself that a serving of dry, whole grain cereal - or even a serving of Christmas cookies - in a 24 hour period is not all that bad. In fact - if you figure Katie and I are eating about 1100 calories a day on Fat Flush - the extra 200 isn't bad at all!! But it is still wrong. THAT is what I hate. I do wonder why I am doing this too - I was EXCELLANT on Atkins - no slips at all (except what I reported before which were planned and not, therefore, cheating). I have decided that it is just the little bit of allowed sugars. I am like a real addict. Give me a little and I can't let it go. It was when I was allowed to have fruit in Atkins that I started losing focus before. Fat Flush allows two fruits a day. I don't know...
Katie unearthed the treadmill yesterday. I didn't use it though. I am DETERMINED to use it tonight!!!!!!!!!!!
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