Well - between last year and this year, as we all know, I have made no weight loss progress. I have had teasing glimpses of getting to below 200 (my lowest point was 201.8 back in January or February). My weight seems to have completely settled in the 210 range (I was 210.6 today 210.4 yesterday). This is ALL MY FAULT... in the past several months I have completely lost focus on my well planned meals. I still pack my lunch every day - and my calorie levels have stayed consistantly lowish - but the balance I achieved earlier in the year (fruits, veggies, whole grains and dairy) have gone completely away. In fact - I think I must have left them on the cruise ship, because it FEELS as though it has been that long since I ate a healthy meal. I know this isn't true - but I never really regained my focus after I got back from the cruise. I also have started slacking on my exercise. That isn't quite right. I was never the most dedicated exerciser - but I was doing several days a week at home in the beginning - and then once I started going to the gym in January - I was VERY good - up until (again) the cruise - when I backed my gym trip to two a week - OR LESS!
So - where does that leave me? I still really want to lose weight. I still feel like I am in a better place than I was this time last year. I have a better sense of my weight loss problems not being just me. Yes - I can exercise more, yes, I CAN eat better - but I know that my current eating and exercise habits are much better than my peers. They tease me at work because I DO go to the gym periodically and I ALWAYS bring a healthy lunch with me and when we do group eating (pizza, cake, etc.) I am the one who eats the smallest piece and no seconds usually. I am also the only one who even THOUGHT to look up the calorie count for the Coldstone Milkshakes!
So what now? I have an appointment with the endocrinologist on November 1st. I don't have a lot of expectations from that area. I don't really feel like there is anything WRONG with me - I just don't lose weight. Or - as Sarah described it once - my body is just VERY GOOD at retaining calories - or storing energy - or however you want to word it. The fact that I DO have a "surprisingly firm ass" or, as I see it - my DD boobies are surprisingly non droopy - indicates that I am not just a big blob of fat. But - I am still not losing weight and I want to be.
So - My goal now - keep on keeping on. I dont' want to completely blackslide because I know my experience with that indicates that I will gain 25 pounds to make up for the 5 that I lost. I want to improve my food again. I want to do structured menus for the next several months. AND EXERCISE. Sigh. I don't know what to do about that. I want to get back to daily exercise - but I am SO over going to the gym. I want to have a treadmill in my home - but I have no money - or space for it. I COULD put it in the sewing room - or even my bed room if I could really clean it up. Maybe I shoudl think about that. I also want to start doing the videos at home again. Maybe we should do an exercise video library on the blog here - we can review them for each other and do a monthly - or weekly - swap.
My final goal - I want to get Katie back involved here. She doesn't really need to lose more weight - but while she was reading and posting here she was also more committed to keeping ME committed.
1 comment:
I read this after I read your short entry above. Endocrinologist. That's the word.
I'd go into that appointment with a TON of expectations because if you've cut your calories and increased your exercise and kept at that for a significant period of time, then you should lose weight. That's how it works. If that *doesn't* work for you, then there IS something wrong with you. This isn't like your hair not being able to hold a perm. It's a pretty simple equation of energy in and energy out. If what's going out is greater than what's coming in, you burn the excess fat your body doesn't need. And if that's not how the equation works for you, you need the doctor to figure out why and fix it.
I wish you could come live with me for a few weeks and eat and do everything I do (or was doing when I was actually losing weight). I like the goal of getting Katie involved again because I think that does make it easier for you to stay focused, but with me you'd get a better reflection of how you spend the greater part of your day (sitting at a desk instead of standing and teaching) and how to compensate for that chunk of inactivity. You know?
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