I can never remember that it is Tuesday.
I weighed myself yesterday though--197.5. So down a tiny bit more than last week. I bought some new clothes Friday. I was dressing TERRIBLY for work and I decided I needed to stop that. I now have 4 functional pairs of pants and a few options for tops that aren't sloppy. I already feel better about myself, which hopefully will help with my fitness goals. I also started wearing a bit of make up again, and that helped too. It even brought on compliments from two of the most beautiful people in my life--you know the type that are always together, never look flustered, never a hair out of place, etc. It's funny to me how general appearance does actually boost my self esteem; it feels shallow, but at the same time, I'll take what I can get. I am realizing more and more how AWFUL my self esteem has been over the years. There was a time when I was 120 lbs and I thought I was fat. I also remember being in Alaska in 2005 and having to write down my weight for a helicopter tour...and being ashamed of listing155 lbs. I think the really damaging kind of "fat" is the one stuck in your brain. I think if I can lose that, the pounds will slip off.
This cold weather is seriously messing up my plan to get outside after work. I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it so far. I am really hoping we get over this cold/snow crap this week and then start into some more seasonal temps. Last night after work I cleaned the kitchen, read a little (I am finally getting into The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and made dinner. Tonight Peter has rec soccer and I always go to the games; they are somewhat torturous, but I go. Maybe I'll try to go out for a walk at lunch and traipse around the ghetto. I do wish I didn't work in a scary neighborhood.
2 comments:
Doesn't this cold weather suck? I look out the window and it looks so pretty and sunny and blossomy, but the cold weather when it SHOULD be warm has me hunkering down and avoiding going outside.
Dressing better making you feel better isn't shallow at all, when you think about it. You dress better to reflect that you ARE better -- at least better than you've been giving yourself credit for -- and that you want to be better still. Dressing well helps you remember to keep at it. Your outside is only shallow if there's nothing inside to back it up. And compliments are just gravy -- they serve as a reminder of our self-worth. But I feel great when I dress well, even when I'm just hanging around the house. I wore a comfortable skirt last week one day because I was tired of my jeans and sneakers, and it was such a nice day. Knowing that I looked good made it SO much easier to eat well, too!
I hate this colder weather -- in February I went out on sunny days when it crept above 40 just so I could ride my bike. But now I've tasted 70, and the idea of riding a bike in the 40s, no matter how sunny, makes me want to crawl back into bed!
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