Weakening.....

It's been a really tough week here and my stress levels are at a peak. Brian is starting a new job next week, which is great news, but it's down in Gaithersburg, which stinks. It means I'll be back to my routine of going in late every day, running around between 3:00 and 4:15 getting Connor from school and taking him to Elkridge, then working late (but not too late because I have to be home when Connor gets home because Brian will still be in Gaithersburg), and with Brian so far away it means I have no backup from him in case something comes up that needs immediate attention. We've posted ads on Craigslist and around the local colleges looking for someone to do transportation and have gotten no response, so we decided we could skip TI and just find a regular after-care program, but the ones we've talked to either don't have space or won't take someone with Connor's disabilities. And this couldn't be happening at a worse time. For some reason, the grants season seems to be in full swing right now. I got eight grants out the door in the last two weeks (normal pace is three or four a month), including one horrible federal one that we got in with only eight minutes to spare yesterday. The pace isn't going to ease up until May--I've got three private grants, one county grant, three state grants and two federal grants due between now and mid-May, and in the meantime I'm supposed to be chaperoning Claire's week-long school trip to an outdoor education center in two weeks, and then out for Spring Break the week after that (which won't happen--the two federal grants are due that week). And in the meantime my scout troop has decided to try to hold a fairly major event (for us, that is) to raise funds for another project that they want to do, and while I love it that they are doing this, it's just taking a lot more effort and planning from me than I normally have to put into scouts, plus it looks like we have one or two field trips each weekend between now and the first week in May (seriously, except for Easter weekend). All of this is a big lead up to saying I want a frigging brownie and am having a hard time resisting! There was an event after work last night (which meant a 14 hour day for me) and the number of desserts left over is insane, and our office is the storage facility for these. But I've already had that apple fritter this week (490 calories!) and two pieces of birthday cake (one for Connor, one for Missy) and my weight has been stuck all this week--I was 142.8 on Tuesday and Wednesday and 143 yesterday and today. I've been keeping my intake spot on for my goal and exercising regularly, but my weight isn't budging this week (can stress make you retain water?). Every other week for the past several weeks I've seen a steady drop of a little bit each day. Not sure what's up now. So I can't afford the brownie, but I want the brownie and my stress is telling me I deserve the brownie, but I know it's lying.