Barely Budging

My weight that is. I went down .4 this week from last week - which is pretty much the same as not losing anything. I still can't figure out HOW I managed to pack on 7 pounds in a week (or overnight... not weighing myself daily I don't know if it was all at once or over time.) It is frustrating.

I know on a logical level that I am fundamentally a healthy person (the crazy thing not counting). I am a well adjusted person (again, not counting the crazy). I like myself, I like my stuff, I like what I do and the way I think. I like the people I surround myself with. I am a HAPPY person who can easily see how blessed my life is. The only real flaw is my weight. We were just talking about this yesterday (April and me with skinny Grace). The worst thing about being heavy - at least in the case of April and I who are both otherwise very healthy - is that we know what others think of us. We know we are being judged. We know that we are seen as lesser individuals because we are overweight. Nevermind that we are smart, attractive, interesting people. Discrimination towards fat people is a real thing. I know that it exists because I DO IT TOO!! We are conditioned by society to view fat people as lazy, sloppy or just plain stupid. Or all of the above. Mom tells me all the time that she is "concerned" about my weight because of health reasons - never mind that I am in perfect health. I have excellant cholesterol, perfect blood pressure, rarely get sick - and until recently never had allergies. I didn't even get my first gray hair until I was 37. I never had pimples when I was a teenager and my skin is still pretty nice. Katie asked me when I firsted noticed my hands were getting old - and I STILL haven't seen them get old. My doctor has NEVER mentioned being concerned about my weight. My yoga instructor keeps calling me an intermediate yogini. I am not afraid to try new physical activies (hello? clogging now!). Why do I STILL feel the need to think less of myself because I am fat.

I would be willing to bet that if any of you strapped a 100 pound body suit on YOU wouldn't be able to clog for 45 minutes straight! I'm just saying.............