Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I love my medicine!!!

I am in love with my Lexapro. Not in love like you have to cart me off to NA - but in love to the point where I wish I had started it five years ago! I am ENJOYING things again. Stupid things - like reading in bed and sleeping. I know it may be insensitive to talk about sleeping on a board where Sarah will read about it... but seriously! I forgot how much I used to like just to hunker down into bed and sleep. So much so that yesterday when I got to work I was wondering how soon I could leave to go home to sleep. I haven't been overly tired really (although I have noticed that I have been going to bed earlier and sleeping slightly later in the mornings when I can). I think I am just more relaxed now and so I am more comfortable when I do go to bed. I also think it is much easier for me to unwind at night so I do fall asleep more effectively.

The other thing that I have noticed different about me is that I am hungry. I don't know yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing. BUT - I have been eating lunch at lunch time and the healthy (not candy bars and cheetos from the vending machines) snacks that I have packed throughout the day. BUT, and this is the good thing, I haven't been doing the eating until it is all gone and then some thing. I don't know if I am eating more slowly, but I have noticed that I will stop when I don't want any more. I usually notice this AFTER I have stopped. This may sound stupid - but, for example, Katie and I have a box of gourmet truffels that I got on VD. It has 24 in it. We have been eating one per day. The last time I had these truffels, I finished off my half in about two days - and then started in on Katies. Back to the enjoying thing again. I can enjoy one without feeling the whole "if that one was so good maybe six more will be even better!" (which BTW, is borderline self medicating addictive behavior - "more will make me feel better" Thank goodness I only did that with food and craft supplies and not drugs and alcohol!).

My weight was about a pound up from last week's doctor office weight... But that is still down about two pounds from what I had been seeing. For right now I am trying to get back into the habit of packing healthy, complete lunches, and eating regularly at home too. Katie and I are doing Let's Dish tomorrow evening - Thank Goodness!! We haven't had dinner food for a few weeks now. My plan still is to do Body For Life over lent. Sarah? Do you and Brian still have my book? I can't find it - and I honestly don't remember if I ever got it back from you. I will keep looking - but it has been almost a decade since we did it last.

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