Not the boss of ME

I always jokingly tell my boss that she is not the boss of me. I have discovered today that I am not the boss of me either!!! It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself to do good things, I just don't listen to me. It isn't until the ME of me decides to do something that it actually happens - and let me tell you... the ME of me is VERY LAZY!!! You hear people talk about internal arguments - I seriously have both sides arguing. I need to make my id be more submissive!

My back and knees have been REALLY bothering me lately. I think it must be the weather change. Ususally, my knee pain hurts mostly on the first one or two bends of an activity (i.e. going up or down the stairs) but lately they have been hurting pretty continuously. Last night when I was in the bathtub (so, laying on my back, completely supported) I was testing at what point I feel the pain in my knee. It didn't stop hurting the whole time I was bending it. It is still mostly my left knee - but my right one chimes in now and then too. AND - insult to injury - today the muscles on the back of my knee are slightly sore from me doing all of the leg lifts in the bathtub last night. 8-)

I haven't weighed myself since last Tuesday - but I am still feeling vaguely queasy. I ordered pizza for dinner last night (thin and crispy crust with grilled chicken and green peppers... I have to start ordering it with more sauce, less cheese, but that seems just wrong to me) and THAT I am sure was the source of waking up at 3am sick to my stomach. I just don't do well with fat!

I made up a big bag of the trail mix that we made at camp last weekend and have been eating that as a snack for the past week - almonds, raisins, plain cheerios and chocolate chips. It really is the perfect snack - sweet, crunchy, chewy, and substantial - and also the type of food that you really just don't WANT to pig out on. I scoop it out in 1/2 cup portions, and that really is a little too much. Psychologically that is GOOD for me. I am much better off having a little bit left over than feeling like I want more when I finish. If I feel like I want more, I WILL go home and eat the rest of the batch.

Exercise has not happened. Just yoga. And thus back to the I don't listen to me statement - I need to figure out how to make myself do what I don't want to do... Sigh.