Although I admire your ability to keep me, my car and house from merely floating into space I have growing concern about your seemingly increased powers since I hit age 40 about two months ago. No one who had turned 40 before me mentioned an immediate change in gravity after turning the big 4-0.
It seems that despite my work to the contrary you are winning the battle and all of those parts I've worked so hard on are sagging a bit more each day. Did I do something to offend you? I mean, I feel like I've done my part here. I've given you plenty to work with, I really truly have been what could be considered a loyal subject. But now this?
OK, sure I'm not exercising like I should and my food hasn't been the greatest lately but do I really deserve this kind of gravitational pull? I think not.
I mean you're forcing me to consider a trip to a certain ladies department in the store that carries items to cinch, pull and smush those nagging sagging parts. Please, no.
So meanwhile, I will renew my efforts to eat well and exercise like a fiend. Somehow, some way I will thwart you.
I'd just ask that you please gimme a break and at least return to normal strength for the time being to give me a fighting chance.
2 comments:
Aren't you supposed to be busy reporting on multi-billion-dollar bailouts? I mean rescue plans?
I just did that for the past two weeks NONSTOP. I'm done with bailouts. Ah, isn't it fun, the broke get broker. Nice.
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