148

I'm STUNNED that my weight is staying consistent over the post-Easter weeks, because this is always my worst time of year for weight gain (contradicting the general advice of dieting in spring as the best time for weight loss) and I've been eating junk and not counting calories because it's too hard to keep up with the little candies. But I have been exercising hard and not missing the weekends because of the running. My mileage for this week won't be high, so it will be harder to keep my weight under control, but I'll still be working out five days, so there's hope. I'm going to try to get back to dieting next week.

I had meant to post on Saturday (I haven't posted since last Tuesday, but I've been checking in every day) because I went for a 5 mile run that morning. It was a GREAT run -- I managed to hold back my pace at the beginning so I didn't wear out as quickly as I had the week before; it was earlier in the day, so the temperature was perfect, too. And it was long enough that I was able to get into the zone, so to speak -- my mind released its stress and just focused on keeping me moving. I ran 4 minutes, walked 1, all the way through until the last two-thirds of a mile, when I discovered I had plenty of energy just to keep going, so I ran to the end. It was very satisfying.

Yesterday's run, however, was torture. After Saturday's run I had a long car drive, and then yesterday I ran in Springdale, which was designed for runners who are trying to destroy their quads, knees, and feet as efficiently as possible. I started out straight uphill and was jogging slower than a walking pace, I think, though the GPS signal is no good at that point so I didn't get a correct pace (or distance) from my phone (it said I went 0.5 miles in the first minute!). Then I had a lovely flat stretch for about a second and a half before it went back down. Then up. Then more flat in an uphill sort of way. Then a tiny bit of flat and then torturous up to get to the highest point in Springdale -- and this is the route they actually USE for the Springdale 5k! Fortunately the third mile is almost entirely downhill, so I didn't get sick to my stomach, but it's jarring to run straight down for a mile. Then I had another long car ride so I couldn't really relax my legs all day. So today my legs are very unhappy with me, the first time that has happened since I started the program. Probably not the last, though. I'm going to take it easy at the gym today.

I forgot to bring Pilates with me to Mom and Dad's, though I know enough of the exercises that I could have done them anyway -- but I didn't, of course. So I think I've done maybe three days out of seven or eight, which isn't great. And I can't tell that it's making a difference yet. It still pinches in my back on the right when I kneel. But I think I need to keep trying.

I'd like to go for a walk at lunch...

BUT I hate the idea of getting wet when today is one of my long ones where I leave work and head straight to class until 7 pm. It isn't raining here yet, but it sure looks like it is going to dump at any moment.

I did go for a walk last night. I took the Harry Dog, which is never really a good idea when you want to walk for exercise. He likes to stop and sniff EVERYTHING, and then I end up dragging him along for the entire walk and not going as far as I had planned. If the weather holds up I plan to go again tonight once I get home from class, and I'll probably take him along again. Maybe he'll eventually understand that he is along for MY walk, and not the reverse.

I also found one of the 300 pedometers I have acquired through initiatives at various peoples' workplaces over the years. This one actually still works, so last night I put it on in the evening and cleared 2000 steps from 6:30 pm until bedtime. I have it on today, but I have been at my desk all morning so the count is a lame 733 so far. I like the display on this one, but it is a pain because the clip isn't very strong and I am constantly chasing it when it hits the floor; it is round and rolls all over the place. Which, BTW, is a blast when it falls in the bathroom and rolls into a currently occupied stall. I think it came from a Get Fit Maryland thing Constellation did a few years ago.

Foodwise we had yoplait smoothies for breakfast again. I made Let's Dish Cashew Chicken for lunch today, and dinner for tonight is still TBD. I'm torn between going to the grocery store for "new" food and just eating down what we have in the house. I know eating stuff down will make for very random, uncoordinated meals, but we have some things we bought in bulk at one point that just aren't getting eaten. I wish I knew what to do with croutons...at some point Peter bought what seems to be a 75 lb bag and we've eaten like a handful out of it. Maybe I will wrap them up as Christmas gifts with the onion soup mix he bought at the same time. LOL

I'm supposed to be in training, aren't I?

I was re-reading my posts from this time last year and realizing how far behind I am from where I *should* be. Last year my bike speed was about a half mile per hour faster than I'm currently going, my running speed was 45 seconds less per mile than I'm doing now, and my swimming was WAY better--I could manage the whole distance of the race without stopping and was finishing the distance in about 27 or 28 minutes (which is what I managed on race day, although I'm told that the actual distance was longer than I had trained to do, so my race pace was slightly faster). And more to the point, last year I was taking the training seriously--I was swimming and biking twice a week and running two or three times a week.

So as of today I'm reminding myself that I really am still in training. I'll be back at the pool for real (my last two pool visits were accidental--the Girl Scouts were there, so I was there) at noon today with the intention of swimming the full 22 laps, even if I have to stop and rest after every single lap, which I'll probably have to do. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday and will repeat that tomorrow (I found a new route starting from work that is a lot more pleasant than what I've been doing--quieter streets, residential instead of commercial, and better sidewalks). And now that Brian is unemployed again, I can go back to bike commuting once or twice a week, which pretty much takes care of that part of training, although I need to start cycling the race course regularly in June or July since that route is slightly longer than my commute.

Today I was up to 148. I'm telling myself that this isn't bad--given all the Easter candy I've been eating, I'm surprised I didn't gain 5 pounds!

I lead a boring life...

But that's ok. I spent Friday being a judge for the Maryland State Geography Bee. That is always a fun but exhausting adventure. Those middle school kids are insane with their knowledge of geography.

The weekend consisted of a walk Saturday morning, and then I cleaned the house, started to organize our closet and did some gardening. Nothing spectacular.

Exercise hasn't been scheduled, so it hasn't happened. Food has been decent. I've been making us smoothies for breakfast. Yoplait has these packets of pre-measured frozen fruit and frozen yogurt chunks and you just have to add milk and blend them. They are easy and quite tasty, and definitely a change from the normal boring breakfasts we tire of so quickly. Then I cleaned up the grill for the first time this season, so we have been grilling out. Yum. I love grilled vegetables. And Peter's sister shared an asparagus recipe with us that I am going to try on my own tonight. I despise asparagus (only broccoli is more foul) but this recipe is really good. She blanches the asparagus for 1 minute, then tosses them with chopped shallots, garlic and salt & pepper. It stays crunchy and doesn't have that weird taste or the stringy texture.

So that's all. Oh--I did our taxes yesterday. Definitely newsworthy!!

I should have been posting....

....but I've been too busy climbing Mt. Everest.

Actually the only thing I've climbed recently is a hill in Patapsco State Park and the wall at the gym yesterday (and I gave that up before reaching the top).

But I was determined to stay active this past week, being kid-free during the days, so I made myself do something each day. Monday was a 7 mile bike ride with Claire, Tuesday was the 7 mile hike in the state park followed by a 3 or 4 mile bike ride with Claire, Wednesday was just 40 minutes of light exercise, Thursday was biking the Baltimore - Annapolis trail (33 miles total), and Friday was a 3.7 mile run. On Saturday Claire and I (and Mary!) had our scout overnight at a fitness center, during which time I swam 10 or 11 laps (more on that later), climbed the rock wall, and did 35 minutes on the rowing machine. I had hoped to do an aerobics class, but they were all full by the time I got up there to sign up. I also did a few minutes of jump roping, but the ropes were sized for kids so I gave that up quickly.

And on the seventh day, I rested. I made it through church today, came home, ate a sandwich, then slept for three or four hours. After waking up I did my taxes finally (you know, in spite of the nice return we'll be getting this year, on the whole I'd rather have Brian employed) and ate a bunch of Easter candy (black jelly beans--thanks, Emily!) and am now just kind of staring into space and contemplating putting kids to bed.

So. Swimming. I tried swimming back in January and the SI joint pain (which had otherwise gone away by then) hit immediately and I couldn't even complete a lap. Last night I eased into it more slowly and managed to finish ten or 11 laps (about half the distance of the triathlon) but was in pain afterwards and still am, and I was slooowwwwww. The laps were taking me a good 10 seconds longer each than I was able to do last year, and I had to rest after every two laps. I used to be able to swim the length of the pool in about 24 strokes (which ain't great) but last night it took me 30! That's a lot more effort to go the same distance. I'll have to force myself to get to the pool a couple of times a week, but I hate this so much it's not even funny. It doesn't really bother me that my running is also slower (about a minute slower per mile than I did in the triathlon) because at least it doesn't hurt. I never liked swimming much to begin with, but now that it hurts to do it, I'm even less motivated. I'm going to keep trying, and just get through the triathlon this summer (I hope) but then I'm done. No more swimming for me. My only consolation is knowing that even though I'm worse off than I was at this point last year, I'm at least better than I was when I first got in the water in October 2008. I have four months until the triathlon, so if I stick with it and the pain doesn't get too bad, I should be able to swim the distance of the race.

Sarah should be posting...

I have done nothing interesting in the past several days - however, everytime I call Sarah she is biking the Erie Canal or climbing Mount Everst and what all. I haven't managed to do ANYTHING!

I spent the day killing bugs on Wednesday - wasps mostly. There appears to be a nest somewhere near my bedroom. I sprayed and then finally opened up the window again last night. There were probably about 10 dead bodies INSIDE my window. I went to Home Depot yesterday to buy replacement screens. It seems that you can't BUY replacement screens and that you have to build them yourself. So I bought a kit (6$, no biggie), but when I went to remove my screen from my window I can't figure out how to do it. It is attached to the whole window somehow. Maybe this is Andersons or Thompsons or whoever made my window's way of making me buy ALL new windows to fix a simple hole. I have to work on this one more...

I am so glad it cooled off today. I was NOT ready for hot weather. Warm is fine - but it was too hot on Tuesday and Wednesday, especially considering I have no screens in my doors and the windows seem to be letting in wasps. It was getting very stuffy inside and I REFUSE to run my AC this early in the year. Katie thinks we have ghost wasps. Three times now we have trapped a wasp in an area or a room and it has just disappeared. Very weird.

My comments

It seems that if I comment from my home computer they don't show up. Last Wednesday I had a whole series of comments about BMI calculations, buying new fat clothes verses new thin clothes, and I don't know what all - and NONE of them seem to be on the blog anymore. Just now I commented on Sarah's middle of the night sickness and it isn't there. Here is what I said if anyone cares:

You sound like you had a spastic colon attack. That is exactly what happens to me... wake up, run to the bathroom, purge and go back to bed. After 30 or so years of this happening off and on I can often predict when they will hit - but, by any one else's standards they are out of the blue. Once in a while I will feel very queasy while I am purging - to the point where I start gauging the distance to the sink or bathtub, but I have NEVER (knock on wood) had it actually hit from both ends. I think it is actually just the pain from the cramping that makes me queasy. Then once I am done, I am usually DONE. And it is almost always around two or two thirty. In fact, the only time I feel residual fatigue in the mornings is if it happens at 2:30 or later. That is my breaking point. Prior to that it is like nothing happened.

147.6

Higher than last week, but not by much.

It's been an interesting couple of days. The deal I made with myself was that I'm not allowed to eat any Easter candy each day until I've exercised. That was a bit dicey yesterday when I was home with both kids, but Connor's therapist came at 11:00 so I forced Claire into clothes (she had just woken up!) and we rode our bikes over to the state park and back. It was a short ride, and verrrrryy slow (7 miles or so in an hour and a half!), but long for Claire so the speed was necessary. And it counted as exercise, which was all I cared about.

Today was a rough day. Connor woke up at 2:30 a.m., which coincided almost exactly with me getting violently sick for about ten minutes. It was the strangest thing--I had no warning at all, just woke up feeling a bit crampy and then spent ten minutes in the bathroom getting rid of just about everything I had eaten for the previous 24 hours. And then I was fine. No ongoing nausea, nothing. But I was up with Connor and when breakfast time rolled around, I didn't want to eat--I was worried that I really might be sick and didn't want to see the results. But I had to exercise, right? This is my "no excuses" week and I had planned a hike at the state park, so as soon as the kids were on their buses I headed off to the park. No food in me, just one bottle of water and some shot blocks. This was fine until the water ran out at the halfway point--turns out the park didn't have their water fountains turned on for the season yet. And I was hungry at that point, and getting shaky from being tired and thirsty. Obviously I made it back, but the last half mile was a pain. I did about 7 and a half miles, averaging 3 miles per hour while moving, but overall just 2 m.p.h. with all the stops. And then in the afternoon when Claire got home from school we got out on our bikes again, this time just a 4 mile ride to get snowballs.

Tomorrow I'm taking a rest day, so just easy exercise in the morning--pilates (which you CAN do every day with no problem, or at least I used to do it daily) and yoga.

Flashback

Earlier I was trying to remember what year it was that my team dressed up as Starbucks for Halloween. I thought it was 2005. So, when I was on the blog I decided to look up Halloween time 2005 to see if I mentioned it (I didn't). I ended up reading a lot of the posts we had done from back in the early days. It was pretty inspirational - sort of. I mean I was inspired because that was back at the point that I was still losing and had not yet plateaued or began gaining again. So I starting thinking... maybe it CAN work for me. At that point I wanted to lose 55 pounds and was hoping to get down to 160. I had lost around 10 at that point - which put me just at 205 or so.

I want to do that again. How was it that I was doing it then (briefly) and how can I get it to happen again, withOUT the back lash of lose 10 gain 40?

I called Katie up and asked her how much she weighs now. At the time she and Sarah were lapping each other and trying to hit 150 each. Sarah beat her by .2 pounds. Katie says she doesn't know what she weighs now, but she was guessing it was around 170. She -at one point - was down to 130-ish, along with Sarah. So SHE lost 30 and gained 40.

One of the things Katie and I were doing at the time was exercising every day after work. We were doing the 10 minute exercise routines (or the 20 minute Jenny Craig tube and tone or the 25 minute aerobics tape). So MINIMAL exercise - but concentrated and mandatory. We stopped when the clocks changed. We don't know why, but for some reason we stalled on our exercising and, not surprisingly on our weight loss. (BTW - during this conversation with Katie she dragged out Charles' Wii Fit and when we got off the phone she said she was going to do a workout.) I pretty much held steady at that point (205-206) until Sarah and I went on our cruise - or shortly before that. Beginning in January of 2006 I decided I would get below 200 for the cruise. I started exercising again MOST days - I was going to the gym near work and doing 45 minute workouts - usually a combination of aerobic and weights, but sometimes just one or the other. I lost a few pounds more and got to my lowest weight on a weigh in day (202) mid-February (I had hit 201.8 one day but it wasn't official and so didn't make the charts). At that time I dropped my calories to 900 per day and continued exercising daily hoping to lose the last 2 pounds, but actually ended up being slightly higher for the cruise (204 exactly). I returned from the cruise weighing 208.8 (not bad considering it was a week of eating like a pig and almost no exercise). That was the last of loss that I saw. I ended the year (September at 207.8) and after that just kept climbing.

So, I think I need a new goal. I don't think the number counts for much for me, but I think I want to get to a point where I can buy clothes from normal stores again. I don't care if I have to buy the biggest size they sell, but I am TIRED of fat lady clothes (slouchy shapes, elastic waist bands, etc.)

I am going to do a whole bunch of measurments tonight (gack!) and see how many inches I have to lose to get to a normal XL or 18 again. I am also going to start with my 10 minute DVD exercises again. I can do them in the living room on my computer, so I should be good... I hope...

148.5

I did pretty well eating yesterday until game-time came. I was home alone and I brought my computer and my Easter Basket to the sofa with me. Every time I ate something, I recorded it on MyPlate, on the grounds that this would somehow rein me in. It didn't. I racked up probably 600-800 calories in candy in the space of two hours! I am rapidly going through the little stuff, though, and on the big stuff I find it much easier to hold back. My Valentine candy (Daniel gave me some gourmet-ish dark chocolates) lasted until a week ago -- just a piece or two after lunch and dinner each day.

I did Pilates yesterday morning and went for a run, also in the morning (too hot, though, so it wasn't much of a run). Today I can't feel the run in my legs but I feel the Pilates in my pects a bit from all the reaching and stretching. Because of the game I was also up too late last night, and the combined soreness and lack of sleep made me decide that I'd skip the Pilates this morning -- I do have a gym appointment, though. I enjoyed doing the running in the morning because then I had the whole day open in front of me (except for Girl Scouts last night), but then that meant I was home during my sluggish time of the day when all I feel like doing is sleeping or eating. So then I remembered why I always have scheduled exercise in the late afternoon -- I need it then.

Weigh-day

OK - so I gained a half a pound.

I did my baby 10 minute walk last night. I actually did it in my work clothes, I just switched my shoes. This wasn't the first time I have been out walking since last fall. In fact, I walked a couple of times with April in the past month. However, that stupid little 10 minute walk had my legs burning. It is possible that this was because I WAS pushing myself a little bit more than I normally would on a regular walk. BUT STILL it was 10 minutes! Sad.

My food yesterday wasn't great. I had two hard boiled eggs and fruit salad for breakfast (as I did today). I had left over French toast casserole for lunch. Then my team went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch (I didn't go since I was doing payroll) so I had them bring me a grilled chicken club sandwich which I ate in the car on the way home from work at around 7pm. That was my dinner. And this is also the reason why I shouldn't be allowed to buy expensive accessories. I got avocado on my fancy purse. It mostly wiped off - but still... I am not sure exactly how it got there, I just can't be trusted with expensive stuff.

I ate more peeps (I never let them get stale enough) and one of Sarah's cream eggs as junk food during the evening. Sarah, I REALLY liked your egg. I liked that the texture was more solid than the Cadbury ones. It was more like you were eating a candy version of a hard boiled egg.

I slept the WHOLE night with my mask on last night. I woke up around 4:30, but didn't take it off and fell back to sleep just fine. I woke up just three minutes before my alarm and took it off at that point. Today was the first day that I had a mask print on my face. You could see the whole outline. It was lovely.

I have a horrible pain in my shoulder. This is the same spot where I have my normal buzzing going on. It hasn't buzzed in a few months, however, yesterday it was going crazy and today it is VERY painful. I have one of those heat pad stickers on right now, and it seems to help when I am pressing against the heat, but it still is hurting... Maybe I slept on it funny.

I have no idea if I gained or lost

I didn't weigh myself on Good Friday OR Easter Sunday OR today. No point in micro-managing when it doesn't ever do anything but go up.

I don't think the sleep machine has "changed my life." I do seem inclined to sleep later on the weekends, and my attempt over lent to go to be earlier seems to have worked. I have conditioned myself to start looking to go to bed by 9:30 - which is good if I actually then make it to bed by 11. So maybe I will improve my sleep habits slowly and maybe that will benefit be eventually.

Last night I took the mask off around 3:30am. I don't think I meant to. I actually THOUGHT it was closer to the time I needed to get up - but I can't really see the clock well through the mask (and I can't put my glasses on with it on) and so it wasn't until I was all unplugged that I realized that I still had three hours to go. I didn't put it back on. I don't MIND sleeping with it so much anymore, but it is kind of a pain to adjust to right after I put it on, and so once it was off I really didn't want to go through the adjustment again. So I didn't.

I have been noticing for the past several days that I have been feeling kind of weak. Not tired exactly, but PHYSICALLY weak. And specifically on my joints, my elbows, hips, wrists and knees. I don't know how to describe it, but it feels like I am running out of fuel. Since I first noticed it on Good Friday I thought that was exactly what it was... I hadn't eaten enough calories. I felt the same way on Saturday - and again, I really hadn't eaten much or enough - but YESTERDAY? I had plenty of calories yesterday! And they weren't all bad calories! I don't know what it is about Easter (spring in general actually) I don't feel the urge to eat sweets in the spring so much. I only ate one strip of peeps yesterday - and that was late in the day. That was it. Honestly, I still have Easter candy left over from last year. I have been carrying the same three Easter kisses in my lunch bag for a year now. I don't suppose they go bad - but I think I will throw them out anyway.

I haven't started my conditioning for the marathon I am not going to run this year. I HAVE, however, been setting my alarm early each day - and then turning it off. Today I didn't turn it off, but I had to go into work early since I was out on Friday. I am going to go home now and get in my first walk/run today. Since it is a baby one (10 minutes. Seriously?) I have no excuse!

Gained 1.5 pounds in one day!

Hmmm, that's somehow not as interesting a title as Sarah's. I woke up at 147.0 yesterday and hit 148.5 this morning. Yesterday during church I had my usual back discomfort while kneeling, and it turned into a sharp pain by the end of the Mass, so I have vowed now to add Pilates every day (well, six days a week). Today was easy because we're not doing school, but on school days I'm going to have to get up a half hour early. No more laziness for me! I can't live with back and shoulder pain all my life.

Is daily reasonable for Pilates? For most sports you're supposed to take a day off between workouts to allow the muscles to heal. But Pilates for Dummies isn't exactly extreme, and no one says you need to take breaks from stretching, right?

I didn't feel like I did a good job of engaging my core during this morning's workout, and when I lay down on my right side for leg lifts it was VERY uncomfortable -- that's the side with the shoulder pain AND the back pain. But the good news is that by the end of the workout my right shoulder was feeling much better, so it at least stretched it out.

I'm trying to refrain from stuffing myself with candy all week -- I let myself go yesterday but I have no desire to keep that up all month. I'm still trying to count calories. How do you count "four jellybeans and an almond-flavored cookie a friend made"?

Lost 1.5 pounds in one day!

And didn't even have a stomach virus! It was a perfect storm for a one-day weight loss (although not, unfortunately, long term weight loss)--Good Friday, so I wasn't eating much of anything; the weather was beautiful so when I went out on my bike to deliver Connor's diaper bag to the library (where Brian and Connor had walked) I kept going for another 8 or 9 miles; and then in the afternoon I went and chopped off all my hair. I donated 15 inches to Locks of Love, but then lost another couple of inches in the styling process. So far everyone who has commented on it comments FIRST on the fact that it's straight. That, too, is not long term--next shower, or if today is especially humid, or if Connor gets me with a blast from the hose and I'm back to being curly.

So today's weight was 145.4, down from 146.8 yesterday (which I was pretty happy with to begin with). I figure this gives me a good cushion to head into Easter--it takes a lot of jelly beans to gain a pound and a half!

Not much to report here either

We have been off yesterday and today, doing random things around the house. Marian is stopping by to finally solve the "what color to paint the first floor walls" dilemma. I can't tell you how close I am to just painting each wall a different color and saying to heck with it. Then I'll just buy decorating stuff that I like with complete disregard for whether it matches or not. Matching is overrated. Totally conformist. :-) LOL.

We've been busy, but I haven't formally exercised yet this week. I am thinking about setting up my own circuit in my house for days when I don't feel like anything else. Jump rope, free weights, the exercise ball; I think I could do it.

We have an extra dog through Monday night. He is a giant geriatric black lab named Roan that turned 14 yesterday (WAY past the shelf life for a dog his size!!) He and Harry apparently have taken their doggie relationship to the next level; Roan has been "bathing" Harry's head all morning by licking him. I am sure Harry is going to smell delicious after 4 days of that. Roan's a nice enough dog, but man our house is always SO GROSS after he leaves. It already smells like a giant dog m when you walk inside and he hasn't even been here 24 hours. It takes me forever to get it cleaned up. He rolls all over our carpets (his house is only hardwood floors--old school rowhouse in the city) and he just loves our wall to wall carpet in the basement. I can generally empty the vacuum 3-4 times with all the hair he leaves behind just from that one room. Blah. Enough complaining.

Nothing to say, so I'll say a lot of nothing again

Where is everybody? I hope nobody's posting because you're all out enjoying the amazing weather. I'm enjoying it, but not getting much exercise; yesterday we had to be at church so early that I couldn't schedule a gym appointment, and instead of really exercising I helped Cecilia learn to ride on a bicycle with training wheels. Monday and Wednesday are my short run days, and on Thursdays I'm supposed to cross-train. I think I hit about 6,000 steps for the day -- hardly cross-training.

I had the fun this morning of seeing my weight below 150 for the second day in a row. It's still up about 5 pounds from where it was a year ago, but it's down about ten from when we got back from Norway (down 13 from my high point in November) so it's moving the right direction, more or less. I shouldn't be able to gain any weight today, at least. And I tried on my skinnier jeans (bought in the 140s, not the 130s, so not super skinny) and they're fitting OK again, though when I sit there's a muffin top. How did I squeeze into these all the way through August?

Tomorrow I have a four-mile run. I considered doing an 8k (weird length!) they have going on in the morning, but after today I suspect I won't be up to it, and I don't really want to have to get up early and drive to Radford. If I'd been at the training a little longer I might be more enthused about it. I think I'll stick to the local 4-miler.

Ouch.

So I was realizing today that my days this week are getting progressively worse. Monday's activities were laundry and taking the kids shopping for Easter clothes. Kinda fun. Tuesday Connor woke up at 5 a.m. having wet the bed, so I had to wash all of his bedding and then I spent a good two hours cleaning out the really disgustingly filthy refrigerator. I hate that task. Today Connor woke up at 3:30 a.m., then conked out again at 7 on the one day that we had to be out the door in the morning. When we arrived at Mom and Dad's house, Connor had the world's biggest poop that took most of my wipes to clean up and then I had to wash his pants and socks since I hadn't brought extra clothes. I went from that fun to the dentist, where I spent an hour and a half being beaten up. Now I feel like someone ripped off my cheek and pounded on my teeth and jaw for a while, which isn't far from the truth.

None of that has anything to do with losing weight, except insofar as I haven't really eaten much today. But dinner was homemade chicken soup (question: I've been trying to replicate Dad's homemade soup for YEARS and have never gotten close; why did it never occur to me until yesterday to look in the damn family cookbook for the recipe? Worked perfectly the first time. I'm an idiot.) and homemade dill bread, so I did overeat on both of those. Yum.

Exercise today was supposed to be another bout of home cardio silliness, but that didn't happen. Right after dinner Connor wanted to go for a walk and we ended up out for two hours doing the Catonsville tour--down to the library, then stops at Bill's Music, the playground, the 7-11 and our neighbor's swingset on the way home. It was a two mile walk at a snail's pace. I'll probably do my back exercises after I get the kids in bed. My back has been killing me since the jump roping I did on Monday.

Is everyone waiting for someone else to post?

Because I really don't have much to post about today. I went to the gym yesterday and did 40 minutes on the elliptical, and then when I got home I tried using my pushup pro handles to do pushups, which I haven't really done since December, when my hands started going numb so consistently that I couldn't get above 50 or so pushups. The idea was that by using the handles I could keep my wrists straight without killing my knuckles (they recommend knuckle pushups for people who have the numbness thing, but they're worse than the numbing). I still find it completely awkward. And this morning I woke up and my right shoulder blade was sore again. I injured it a month or so ago by overdoing arms one week (I did arms one day, intending to take the next day off, but then I wound up doing Walk Away the Pounds, which includes a lot of arms, and as if that wasn't enough, when I got to step class the next day she made it an arms-heavy class instead of doing the usual legwork. Argh!) and it now gets sore very readily. It hurt again last week just from doing crunches. I think I'm going to have to take a month or two off from using those muscles significantly, and I'll have to find other ways to do abs that don't risk me straining that muscle by the curl. (I can't even think how bad my form must have been.) And that means no pushups for a while, either.

Today it was so nice that Daniel volunteered to host the kids so I could run outside instead of going to the gym. I ran a lovely 5k route on campus in 30 minutes. I may not be making significant progress yet, but I am at least recovering some of my old fitness. I'm getting used to the walk/run deal and learning to like it. I think I'm starting to win Daniel over on the walk/run thing, too, and he's even contemplating training for the marathon with me!

Yikes!!

I've registered for the marathon! No turning back now!

Body fat

Last night I was trying to waste time online and on Livestrong I came across their body fat calculator, which utterly failed to work. So I looked around online and tried a few different ones, including one claiming to be the "Most Accurate" -- though I think that means if you use some of their other techniques than just using measurements. In any case, using waist and hip measurements (and even two different waists, for one) and neck, and weight, my body fat percentage came out to be around 35-36%. EVERY time. This put me well into the "obese" category by these websites. Now, I'm not very good at measuring myself; I get slightly different answers every time. Everything is so squishy and floppy. Except on the neck. The website said the US average for women is 32% -- I find it highly unlikely that I'm above average on this, given that I'm NOT, technically, overweight. So this leads me to conclude that my body is storing the vast majority of my fat at my middle and skewing the body fat results -- not really a comforting thought, since middle fat means heart disease is more likely (do they consider if you've had a baby or not, and how much scar tissue you have on your belly?), but maybe I'm not really mid-30s on body fat. I'm also high on waist-to-hip ratio, or at least marginally high.

I'm sorely tempted to sign up for a body fat analysis at the gym just to get something more accurate. But they don't do immersion and I don't really want someone prodding my wobbly bits. It would be too depressing. And then they'd know. And I'd rather keep my blobbiness to myself (or at least away from strangers). And then they'd tell me to eat more protein and exercise more, which isn't really news. So I there's really no point to getting it done, except mere curiosity, and I hate to waste money on mere curiosity.

My weight was 151 this morning. It leaped up over the course of the week (I did say last week's was a fluke, after all) and hasn't gone down much. I have exercised regularly (only missed Friday and Sunday) and eaten pretty low-calorie (except for Sunday). I have recorded my measurements so I can see if they're going down, anyway.

I'm disappointed that I didn't get under 150 to stay before Easter (I may yet, but this is the last official weigh-in day). But I do think I'm making progress on fitness, and I'm excited about having a goal.

Improvised exercise

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are going to be the hardest days to get exercise this break. Brian leaves the house at 6:30, is home for about an hour in the late afternoon (when we eat), then gets home around 10:30 at night. I envy people with treadmills or bike trainers at home who can just hop on them to get some exercise. I had to be more creative yesterday.

I decided that I'd jump rope for ten minutes, then do 20 minutes of pilates, then another 10 minutes of jumping rope. Two minutes later I decided that just keeping in motion for ten minutes would be sufficient--that jump roping killed my SI joint! So I ran back and forth and did jumping jacks in the family room until ten minutes were up, then did a five minute walking cool down. At that point, Connor decided to go outside, so I followed him out and ended up doing another 10 minutes out there at a much harder pace--I'd do about a minute and a half of jumping rope (Connor loved that part and kept thrusting the jump rope back at me when I'd put it down), then another minute of stair climbing, then run around the house (which is like an obstacle course with all the junk to jump over and go around), then back to jumping rope. It felt like a really good workout! I followed with 40 minutes of my back strengthening/stretching exercises.

This morning I got up early to do yoga and pilates. Unfortunately, Connor got up even earlier, so he joined me for a few parts of the routine. He figures I'm fair game for pouncing on if I'm already lying on the floor.

I was 147.4 this morning--not bad. I think that's a pound down from last week? I was down to 147 even at the end of last week, but went up over the weekend when I ate too much. I mapped the walking we did in NY and it was about 5 and a half miles, which doesn't sound bad, except that was the ONLY walking I did that day, so it was probably about average. Bookending five miles of walking with eight hours of sitting on a bus means the five miles don't count for much.

No exercise this weekend

And terrible diet as well.

It started Friday with Connor's birthday (cupcake with breakfast), then a retirement party at work (tried to be good and stick with the fruit, but ended up also eating a piece of cake and a danish). Saturday was our day trip to New York, where we ate junk on the bus, had hot dogs for lunch, then ate more junk on the way home (and no dinner--I didn't realize that until I went to bed). The only exercise I got was walking around New York.

And poor Claire! She woke up Saturday morning with a headache. I gave her Advil, but she was complaining so much that I finally said "look, if you feel that bad, maybe we should just stay home." She didn't want to do that, and by the time we got to the Park and Ride, she was much better. That only lasted a couple of hours--she started feeling worse on the bus and by the time we arrived in NY, she had a fever and felt awful. What do you do with a kid in NY when she just wants to go home and get into bed, but the bus doesn't leave for another 7 hours and it's windy and cold? She dragged herself to the AG store (it was only a few blocks, but she really was pushing herself to make it there) where she kind of collapsed on a cafe table and stayed there with her head down for most of an hour. She started to feel a bit better, so we headed up to FAO Schwartz and while we were there she perked up a bit. We had about two hours where she felt well enough to enjoy herself, but then she got really tired and cold again. It WAS chilly, but I have pictures of her bundled up in her winter coat, hood up, gloves on while everyone else in the photo is just wearing a jacket and that's it. I felt awful for her, but didn't know what else to do!

On Sunday, I was hit with the same thing--woke up with a sore throat and fever. Claire and I both spent most of the day in bed. She hadn't even made it out of her clothes when she came home on Saturday--she collapsed in bed and stayed there through about 4:00 on Sunday, only getting up once or twice for a few minutes at a time.

Great way to spend Spring Break, huh? In spite of being sick, Claire says she had a good time in New York.

So now I'm on vacation for a couple of weeks and have to make myself eat well and move more--the temptation is to just sit around and watch movies and eat junk, which is all I've done so far today. At least I'm out of bed, which is more than I can say for Claire!

What do I do?

So I am totally depressed when I look in my closet and see all of the clothes I can't wear (we're talking more than 3/4 of my closet.) I was considering pulling them all out and only leaving what fits right here and now and any items that are close to fitting, which aren't many. But then do I just keep gobs and gobs of clothes that don't fit, or should I get rid of them and then reinvest if/when I am ACTUALLY smaller? Most of these are at least 2 sizes too small--we're talking about the "me" that existed 30 lbs ago. I have so much stuff with tags still on it. How did I get too fat to wear those clothes so quickly that they still have the tag on them?

The other depressing thing is that 80% of the clothes that do actually fit me are very frumpy and fat woman looking. The stuff that doesn't fit is really, really nice and sophisticated. I have given some things away to my friend Amanda; she gained some weight and her fat self is my skinny self, so I hooked her up with a bunch of summer clothes last year that helped her out. I was nowhere near being able to fit into it, and it meant it was getting worn since I was (and am) so far away from it.

What would you do?

"Long" run, week 1

Two days a week I'm supposed to run 30 minutes, whatever distance that might be. I counted some of my regular gym time as the first run this week, and then I did a treadmill run for the next 30 minute run. Then on weekends I'm supposed to go on a long run -- this week it's only 3 miles, but it will go up fairly quickly -- next week 4, then 5, then a week with a time trial (so only 2.5), then 6, and after that it alternates longer and shorter until they get VERY long. Each longer run adds a mile, then a mile and a half, then two towards the end. (Following all this? Don't worry; I just put it on a calendar and will do what the calendar tells me.) The big numbers look kind of scary now. Anything beyond 5 looks a little scary, actually.

Anyway, I did the run/walk routine on today's 3 mile run, and I found I really liked it for a road run. On the treadmill it was unnatural, because I'm already forced into a particular pace by the machine, and changing the pace is meant to be a gradual process, not a quick recovery/acceleration. My first walk came only 3 minutes into it -- long enough to be bored but too short to be settled into a pace. So that left me eager to get running again. All the other walks felt just right -- I had been running long enough that my heart rate was up and I was getting a little tired, but I never felt exhausted. I was amazed to discover during the third mile that my pace had spiked up to over 9 mph on a flat stretch! I'm still not convinced that wasn't a quirk of the GPS, especially since I didn't feel very fast, but I covered the whole 3 miles at an average of 6 mph, including the walks -- which means my runs were a bit faster than usual and my walks not as slow as they felt. Normally I finish 3 miles in about 30 minutes when I've been jogging the whole way.

I don't mean to bore you all with numbers and my pathetic running statistics -- I promise not to do this every week! I just hope I can keep feeling this enthusiastic when I'm having to go out and run 12 or 14 miles and I've already been at it for three months.

Follow-up

That post below is from yesterday. I never finished it and so just saved it as a draft. I decided to just post it the way it was...

Anyway... Night two of C-PAP went much better. I did wake up several times during the night, but didn't remove the mask. I switched the humidifer to NOT heated humidity - and think that helped a lot. I definitely had more moisture on my face when I took off the mask, but I found it much easier to breathe while it was on and I did not wake up feeling overly hot and like I was being smothered. I kept the mask on until 5am this time - which I think is good progress. I can't tell if I feel better today than I normally would. I definitely felt that buzzy, hungover feeling in the shower today - but it has gone away.

Katie has been on a fish cooking kick, which has been great for me! First we had a salmon with an Asian sort of glaze and peas. She served it with whole wheat pasta. Then we had grilled Mahi on a bed of sauteed spinach and navy beans with pine nuts. I can't remember what we did on Wednesday... Then last night she did small (not bay but about that size) scallops sauteed with strawberry salsa served with angle hair pasta with garlic and olive oil. YUMMY! We are having salmon again tonight - Miso salmon hopefully - with mashed potatoes.

Emily is try to bully me into training to run and I may take her up on that. I so badly would love to be able to run. I just can't make my body work that way. I never could. Even as a young child if I ran my teeth would hurt - and I mean hurt to the point of making me drool. I don't know why that happens. Anyway - I am going to work on it...

C-PAP

I was fitted for my C-PAP machine yesterday. I talked to the man who was showing me what to do and then the woman who was training to be a... I don't know what exactly he was... for a long time about my concerns. The guy told me that it takes a while to adjust to using the machine - some people days, others weeks - he did say that it would probably be no more than four weeks. He said that they both are using the machine and the girl said that it changed her life. She said I will be amazed at how much better I feel. The thing is that I don't feel BAD now... I told them that I am a side sleeper and I sleep with tons of blankets and pillows. They both do too. They were telling me what they personally do to make it more comfortable. I told them that when I did the sleep study the next day I felt like I was hungover. The girl (I really can't remember her name... Lou, maybe?) said that she felt "weird" for the first four days of using the machine, and thought hungover was a good description. Then she said that that feeling went away. I do want to give this a good fair shot at working - which I guess is about a month. Sigh.


So, last night I dutifully put my machine together, cleaned off my bedside table to make room for it, and got myself all geared up and went to bed. OK - It wasn't THAT uncomfortable. I was able to settle into my pillows and move back and forth from side to side. HOWEVER, and you can all try this at home, put your hand over your nose and breathe. Now, imagine that you are doing this in a stiff breeze, where you can't quite catch your breath. THAT is what it feels like. I feel like I can't get enough air. You can't open your mouth to breathe, because that cuts off ALL airflow. I forced myself to relax, and I managed to fall asleep - but two hours later I woke up (as I tend to do) I was overly hot. I had an extremely dry mouth (which they warned me may happen) and I couldn't take a drink of water because THAT uses your mouth!!

Beginning training

I'm still not sure I want to do this, but I don't have time to dither about it, so I'm at least getting started on the program. Yesterday I ran (with walking breaks, as per Galloway's instructions) on the treadmill for 30 minutes, about 3 miles, as I posted in my comments. (I'm counting that as the Thursday run, and then I'll go for a 4-mile run this weekend sometime -- Sunday is more likely than Saturday, but Saturday would be ideal.) I also jogged up and down the block a couple of times later on, because I wanted to get my step count over 10,000 for the day. By the end of the day my left shoulder blade was mad at me. This morning I woke up and the right had taken over for the left, for some reason. I'm not sure if it's from the running or from the crunches I did after the treadmill run; I've been slacking off on those, so this was the first time I'd done 100 in a long while, and I wonder if I was using my shoulders too much and my abs not enough. It's better tonight, after some ibuprofen and step class, which forces me to use my arms and loosen things up a bit.

I did step class today entirely for my shoulder blades' sake. I was SO not enthused about it. And my legs were tired from the running -- for all that I think a tough elliptical workout is equivalent to a 5k, it doesn't have the same impact on my legs. The class had the effect I'd hoped for, but since the woman who normally stands in front of me was missing, I was forced to see myself in the mirror the whole class, so the overall effect was worse than usual! I realized that EVERY other woman in the room (most of them 20-something, but there was one who was 50-something) was flat-chested and skinny and wearing a fitted shirt, and there I was bouncing inside my loose T-shirt (it's even one I usually like and think flatters me -- ha!) and looking about 50 pounds overweight. Sigh. Here I'd been feeling good because I was under 150 and not sick today. Even if I lost 30 pounds I would still bounce and wouldn't look like these other people. It's very disheartening.

High school athletes

I think these kids exist to remind me that I'm 41 and well past my prime.

It's bad enough on the treadmills at the gym where I can see that the college kid in front of me is going 8 miles per hour, but today I went outside for a run (jog/walk/trudge) and ran smack into some high school team out for a run. They were coming down a road one way, I was coming up the other and we were all turning and going the same direction on another road. I met up with them at the front of the bunch--there were two kids out in front by a long distance, then a big gap, then a few more, then a smaller gap, then a huge group bringing up the rear. They were the ones who felt more like socializing than working. I joined up in the big gap at the start, so I was pretty much on my own and could see the fast ones in front of me. So what did I do? Tried to keep pace with them, of course! They are more than half my age, they are boys, and I'm betting none of them have SI joint injuries.

I actually managed it for a couple of minutes--they weren't getting any further ahead. I didn't know what the group behind me was doing (I wasn't about to turn around and look) but I imagined they were about the same distance behind. I was wrong. We hit the start of a hill and I looked at my heart rate monitor and saw that my heart rate was up to 191 bpm--about 25 bpm more than it really should be, so I immediately slowed to a walk, and almost as immediately the rest of the group caught up and passed me. The whole team was out of sight within 30 seconds.

OTOH, I probably have them to thank for my increased speed today. I did the same route as last week but did it a minute faster than before. If I can keep that up, I'll be in great shape for the August triathlon!

So I'm thinking of training for a marathon

I need a big goal. I am so unenthused about exercise and diet. I went looking online for new athletic shoes last night (and concluded I really need to talk to the shoe store, because I haven't been happy with my latest round of New Balance, which is what I've been using for about 12-14 years now -- Mom hasn't liked hers, either, so they've changed something) and got sidetracked on the NB site looking at their running training plans. I found I was somewhere way beyond "beginner" but nowhere near "intermediate", so they've got some huge gaps in their plans. This then motivated me to visit Jeff Galloway's site, and I don't know what it is about that guy, but every time I read his articles or his books, I find myself thinking, Hey! This is easy! I could totally do this! And somewhere last night I went from thinking I'd like to have a comfortable 5k and 10k to thinking I should aim for a marathon.

The training plan is 30 weeks and there's a marathon in Baltimore in October, which is pretty much perfect. (The only marathons local to southwest Virginia are in the spring, as far as I can tell.) I'd need to commit pretty soon, though, because there's a good chance the race will fill up. I'd hate to get 20 weeks into this and think, wow, looks like I might actually get there, only to find out that my goal race was inaccessible.

Am I crazy for considering this?

Catching Up

Monday and Tuesday haven't been so great. I've been sticking to my meal plan but haven't had much luck on the exercise front. Monday night fell apart and I ended up doing housework instead of going to the gym. Yesterday my lunchtime walk didn't happen because I wasn't at work. So I plan to make up for the walk yesterday by going today, plus the weather seems to be better for being outside today. Yesterday was still sort of drizzly at times.

Other than that, nothing exciting to report on any front here. I think I may have found a dog sitting service for when we go away. I am sure you are all relieved to know that :-) Oooo--and next week is spring break so I don't have class! I am looking forward to that.

150.5

That was a bit of a gift from the scale this morning, so I didn't weigh myself again after my shower because I didn't want to know if it went up. I've seen about a 4-pound range this past week, and this was the low end of it. I was very energetic and did lots of exercise and eating well last week, but once the weekend hit I went off my diet and my exercise, so I didn't deserve a lower number, but I'm not going to complain. It makes it easier to get back on track this week.

I haven't posted in a few days because there's been so little to say -- I count calories most days, I exercise when I have a gym appointment, blah, blah, blah. But I'm still here and reading, which means at least I feel guilty when I go off track!

148.4 or maybe 148.6, or 150.2 if you turn the scale 90 degrees.

Seriously. I got up, weighed myself and got the 148.4 weight (yay! A pound and a half down from last week!), then did yoga, then weighed myself again with the scale in a different spot and got the 150.2 weight, didn't believe that, so turned it back to where it had been and got 148.6. So apparently yoga makes me gain weight and pilates makes me lose weight (based on what happened last week when I weighed in before and after pilates in the morning) and the floor in my bathroom makes my weight go all over the place.

My cold seems a bit better this morning--my throat isn't nearly so sore, but I'm all lightheaded and dizzy. I'm blaming that on Connor, though, who got up at 4:30 this morning. Being sleepy makes me lightheaded. It's free pastry day at Starbucks, and I'm seriously tempted. I was going to get a coffee anyway, and who can pass up a free pastry? And I can get a non-sweet one so I wouldn't be breaking my Lenten promise, right? Someone stop me before I cave in.

I ended up on the elliptical machine at the gym yesterday, just to see what would happen to my back. In the fall, the elliptical was the most painful machine for me, but I was having a "good back" day yesterday (I was in serious pain after the stream clean up, but I diligently did my stretching and had Brian try to pound the bone back in place, and I woke up pain free! Well, mostly. I'm never entirely pain free, but this was pretty close) and wanted to see if it would stay that way. It did! I had to adjust my posture a bit and make sure to stay very upright (no cheating by leaning into the hand supports) but I didn't hurt any more afterwards than before, so there's a bit of progress.

Chronic Allergies?

Wow! What is up with all of this sickness???? I seem to be getting my sicknesses in much smaller doses than the rest of you - however, they do seem to be lingering. I still have this darn chronic queasiness. I have NO idea what is causing it - but it makes all food seem unappealing. So I have been eating like crap - which is to say, not much at all, and not the right things. I have been craving the "soft" proteins - like eggs and beans. I went to make beans and rice on Saturday night, but had none - so I ate nothing for dinner. I had already had eggs for lunch that day so didn't want to repeat them for dinner, and NOTHING else seemed appealing. However, the weirdest thing I have been experiencing is that everytime I eat anything (nuts, marshmallows, fruit, bread, cheese, anything!) I get that weird sensation that happens when you have eaten a food that you are mildly allergic to. You know - that rawness in your mouth and a sore throat that makes it hard to swallow. Eggs seem to be the only thing not affecting me that way.

I also have had this weird buzzing sensation - like caffeine jitters - for a while now. I thought it was because of the sleep study last weekend. I thought it was just that I didn't get a good night sleep that night, but it is still going on. Maybe it is because I have been pretty good about going to bed at 10:30-ish. Maybe that really is messing up my sleep cycles and so it is not helping, but actually hurting. Instead of getting more sleep I am now waking up mid sleep cycle and so WOULD be better rested if I would only sleep to the end of my cycle... but I don't know how long that is. Maybe I should try to go to bed by 10pm instead of 10:30 and see if that helps. The only problem with THAT plan is that I am barely making it to bed by 10:30!! Sigh.

Sarah's bad exercise week because of sickness would be a really GOOD week by my standards! I did get in two walks in addition to my normal yoga last week - so that IS progress, pathetic as it is. I have no memory of what I did on Saturday. I don't think it was much - and it didn't involve exercise. Katie and I talked about going out to one of the state parks for hiking or canoing - but it was a hypothetical conversation like "Wow! wouldn't today be a beautiful day to go out to one of the state parks for hiking or canoeing..." Sunday was the Handspun Yarn Party down at Savage Mills. We went early so we could be one of the first in (we were the first in) but that involved just standing in (the front of the) line knitting for two hours and then shopping like mad for another hour. There was a small gap of time between getting home and leaving for church, but I spent it photographing my yarn stash to post on Ravelry.

The obese woman who wants to weight 1000 pounds offends my sensibilties. One of the interviews I saw with her had her saying "It was such a struggle for me to be thin (or lose weight) that it must not be natural. So I stopped fighting it." Yeah... Right. It is hard to lose weight, I know that as well as ANY fat person who can't lose weight. But the idea of not fighting AT ALL, and in fact becoming a camp follower to the other army instead, is an affront to those of us who ARE fat and DON'T want to be. I know if I went on The Biggest Loser I probably WOULD lose weight. If I pushed myself a LOT harder than I actually do I am SURE I would lose weight. I know that I don't shed pounds as easily as many - and I know that the heavier I get the harder it gets - but I would NEVER consume 12000 calories a day ON PURPOSE! My favorite part was when she said that her grandmother who weighed 120 pounds was diabetic, and her brother who weighs 200 pounds is diabetic so if she becomes diabetic would it be because she is fat or because it runs in her family. Does she not realize that being diabetic would be the LEAST of her problems. She needs to worry about blood clots and heart attacks. I did like the one doctor who said that "I don't think she really knows what 1000 pounds feels like." She seems really well adjusted emotionally, but she doesn't seem to have a good grip on reality!

Upper respiratory death?

I think I might have caught the upper respiratory death that Julie has. It hardly seems fair--I don't get sick very often at all, and when I do, it's a mild cold. But last week I had the stomach virus mid-week for a day and a half, and then on Friday I caught this awful cold. I can't remember when I was last this congested or had such a sore throat!

I'm curious to see what my weight will be tomorrow. With my illnesses and activities this weekend I haven't been very consistent with my diet or exercise. I only went for one run last week before getting sick. I did yoga one day and my back exercises once or twice, but that was it. I spent nearly five hours trudging around a stream yesterday pulling out trash, which made my muscles sore (mostly from dragging buckets of trash up the embankment) but didn't burn too many calories since it was just a slow walk the whole time. I'm off to the gym again in a few minutes, just as soon as this rain shower passes (brought a rain coat but no umbrella. How's that for planning ahead?). My diet has been similarly spotty--I didn't eat at all for nearly two days, then made up for it on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday I got going too late to have breakfast before church, so I started the day with a quick lunch (since I essentially had to run from church to the stream) of just a sandwich, then got fed a hot dog and tiny piece of cake by the Daisy scouts after the stream clean up. I snarfed some cookies when I got home, but that was it for my food for the day--probably as many calories as most days, but little of it especially healthy.

I need to focus this week on consistent exercise. I'm off of work the next two weeks (Balto Co spring break followed by Howard Co. spring break) so I'll need to be really disciplined to exercise during that time--it'll mean either getting up before the crack of dawn to exercise (Brian is leaving for work at 6:15 these days) or getting myself together to exercise between when he gets home from work and leaves for school (3:45 - 5:15). It can be done. I just won't like doing it!

Blogger hates me

Some days I can read the blog, other days I can't. Some days I can post, other days I can't. It took me 4 tries today to get the blog to come up with the "New Post" link. I've tested different browsers, different computers, different internet connections...no idea what's up.

But anyways, this weekend was beautiful! We worked in the backyard all weekend and we are officially ready to plant our garden. I can't wait. I am going to set the cold weather plants as soon as the rain stops. We also started the process of killing the grass over at out friend's house for the bigger garden we are putting in there. I am really looking forward to this experiment; I grew up with a huge garden, but this will be my first undertaking of this size on my own.

I am still fighting this upper respiratory death; the cough just won't go away. I've consumed almost two boxes of Mucinex over the past two weeks. I just know if I go to the doctor I'll end up with 3 weeks worth of antibiotics. I think I'd rather cough...

Food wasn't too great this weekend, but I was really active so it did balance out. I can't actually remember what we ate each day; I know one night we had Chick Fil A for dinner, and bagels from the Jewish place in Pikesville for breakfast and lunch yesterday.

Well, I am looking forward to another week. I also added into my grand meal plan that two of my lunches this week will be soup; less calories but still tasty. And the ultimate lazy person's packed lunch. Tonight is supposed to be one of my two planned gym outings for the week, and I hope I maintain my momentum to go. I will check to see if there are any classes that interest me, maybe there is a spinning class. I am a little nervous to take a class given my breathing situation...I always work so hard to keep up even if I am struggling and I'd hate to fall off my bike or something :-) Maybe it is best if I stick to the elliptical or the bike on my own for now...haha.

Chipper

(And not as in chicken.) I have had TONS of energy the last two days, and I'm not sure why. I got two long nights of sleep earlier this week, but then on the third night (the night before last) I went to bed and stared at the ceiling for the better part of two hours, so in the end I had a short night. I should have dragged all day yesterday. But the weather was gorgeous, and I went to the gym (I left it too late to cancel -- I would have LOVED to spend time outside instead -- but I got a better workout anyway) and felt totally turbo-charged during the step class. Even before the gym trip I was motivated; I did some cleanup in the yard and put the sleds and Christmas tree stand away and took down the baby swing and hung up the trapeze bar (the only reason we left the baby swing up until now was that before we moved to Norway our neighbors had a baby, and we thought they'd want it, and then last fall there was too much else to do to worry about it). And I vacuumed and swept and mopped. And when I got home I cooked salmon on the grill and it was perfect. I am superwoman.

Today it is again gorgeous and I am again motivated. I've cleaned out the whole corner cabinet that I've been avoiding all year -- moth bits kept showing up in containers and I knew I needed to scour it in case they were wintering over there. Now I'm taking the kids out to look for Easter clothes and more birdfeeders -- we've had such a good turnout at our all-purpose feeder that we're wanting to get a hummingbird feeder for the summer and we'd like a finch feeder to encourage the purple finches we saw yesterday to come back. Which means more playing outside when we come back with the feeders. Yay! I'm tempted to buy paint while I'm out since I'm so enthused -- I wonder how many rooms I could get done before I burn out? We'd like to put the house on the market (someday...?) and three downstairs rooms and the upstairs/stairs hallway will need doing first, and we might as well enjoy them being done for a while first.

This evening I have a Girl Scout sleepover (at the other leader's house), on the heels of piano lessons for the kids, so from 3:45 on my day is shot. And tomorrow Mary has a piano lesson right after the sleepover, so I can't start tomorrow until after lunchtime. But the weather's supposed to be good again -- maybe that will keep me going.

My eating has been pretty good this week -- I went over on calories on Wednesday (the Murphy's and the Irish soda bread are to blame) but had trouble even getting to my minimum yesterday, so it evens out. My weight dropped again by Wednesday, too; I was just retaining PMS water on Tuesday, I suspect.

Sparks People

Last night I did a search for menu planning tools. My favorite healthy menu planner - glucerna.com has changed their tool so you no longer can edit the menus. The original tool was adopted by another website, but I can't remember who that was, and I really didn't feel like digging through my emails. So I searched for a new menu planning tool. I found several that were blank that YOU could fill in with your menu plans - but I was looking for one that would tell ME what to eat. I ended up on SparksPeople.com. This, I know, is the rival tool to My Plate. It is a whole community, and it is free. It tracks your food and exercise, just like My Plate (although, I think My Plate is better for tracking what you have eaten or the exercise you have done - more precise, I guess) but Sparks People has a GREAT menu planning tool. I am still figuring it out. I haven't figured out a great way to plan menus for farther in advance than one week, but (as Katie said) it doesn't matter what the header says, we can use the days whenever we want.

I know I don't need to do menu planning in conjunction with Katie - but it sure makes it easier. She says it is too much work. It is nice having a kit packed for the day, but she doesn't want to spend an hour every day doing it. I said - however - that we got much faster at packing our lunches each night as long as we had a plan in place. She said it is a lot easier to just pull out a Let's Dish meal and prepare that. I said that we can still DO that, we just need to eat sides along with our entrees. 15 minutes later she said that she was having a "fat year." I said I am having a "fat decade." She has gained weight (says the pot about the kettle, I know) in the past year or so. I notice it most when she is up in front of the church cantoring. SHE needs to put more effort into this than I do because she is not yet a lost cause!

Well, I am off to take a walk. I hope Grace doesn't mind me leaving her alone for a little while.

Four pounds lighter

Gotta love stomach viruses, huh? I mentioned on Wednesday that I wasn't feeling great. By 2 in the afternoon it turned into a full-fledged stomach virus (mortifying--it hit about five minutes before a meeting I was supposed to have, so at the start of the meeting I was huddled on the floor in the bathroom. I dragged myself out to meet this woman and just tell her I'd call her later. Amazing how people stay far away and agree with anything you say when you look that sick!). I spent all Wednesday not eating, then moved up to soup by yesterday noonish, and a tiny real meal last night. Pretty awful.

Of course I got no real exercise in that time--nothing at all on Wednesday. Yesterday I watched through the pose guide of a yoga video I got, but didn't do anything other than watch. I did my back stretching and strengthening last night. Today I'm back to the usual schedule--up at 5:30 and actually DID the yoga (very relaxing, good stretching, but really TOO relaxing to be really exercise--this was a video for raw beginners, though, and was also really short. It was supposed to be an "energizing" routine, but by the end I was ready to go back to bed!). I have to leave early today to get Connor from the bus, so I won't get to the gym, but I should be able to get out for a run or ride tonight.

Have any of you seen in the news the woman who is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the fattest mother, and now wants to go all out and get up to 1,000 pounds to make it into the book as the fattest woman? She seems to be very happy with herself, and thinks this is a good decision (although later she said the interviewers got it wrong--the 1,000 pound thing is just a fantasy she puts out there for her "fans." She earns her income by running a website where people pay to watch her eat). When I first saw this I thought it must be a hoax, but apparently not. And I can't figure out who is sicker--the woman who wants to be even fatter than she already is, or the people who pay to watch her eat.

Like a true Irishman

Well, I guess I did celebrate like a true Irishman - I went to church and had nothing green to drink...

It was kind of funny - I was dressing for the day, I put on a pink shirt, yoga pants and picked out my shamrock socks to wear and thought "who cares if these don't match my pink shirt..." Then I realized I was wearing PINK instead of green. So I changed.

Wednesday is my maintenance day. Have I said this before? I think it is funny. My day is always jam packed. I start with church, go straight to yoga from there, come home for a quick lunch and then usually go to acupuncture, the dentist, the eye doctor, or chiropractor. Recently I have had a string of X-rays, MRIs, Sonograms, etc. Everyone talks about my "day off" but really it is about an hour off extra in the morning... 8-) I like it though.

Yesterday I had a really good acupuncture appointment. I have had this chronic queasy feeling for a while now. I am not sure what it was that she did yesterday, but I felt the needles the whole time (usually you feel when she places them, but not for long afterwards). Then when she came in to take them out she said that they weren't releasing so she would leave them a little longer. She had placed four needles on my belly, and I was having an issue relaxing since I was feeling queasy still. BUT she also had two in the bottom of my feet so I was mildly worried that if I DID need to leap up and make a dash for the bathroom that I would hurt myself on those foot needles (which BTW REALLY hurt going in!). However, by the end of the treatment the queasiness had totally gone away - and hasn't come back yet. YAY!

I was supposed to have EM training at church last night. I called the parish office to confirm the date and time (since I couldn't find my letter). They told me that it was at 7pm. So I dutifully showed up at about 6:45 - JUST IN TIME for the Q&A wrap up. I was so embarrassed! However, I wasn't the only one. About five other people came in after me. I wish I had apologized to Father last night because I totally COULD have been there at 6pm had I been given the correct info. Sigh.

THE plan, day 2

I stuck to my plan pretty well yesterday, but not perfectly. We ate breakfast at home, and I knew Peter wanted to go to Slainte for lunch since it was St. Patrick's Day, so we did. So that checks off my one lunch out this week. Then for dinner, I was feeling lazy, but we still cooked at home. The major deviation from the plan came with exercise--we ran some errands after work that I hadn't been planning to do, so we got home later than I wanted. Instead of going to the gym, I did the Wii Fitness Coach instead. So I did exercise, it just wasn't my original "outside the house" planned exercise. And my arms are killing me today. Wii's upper body workout is really a workout.

Today is my last day of work this week. Woohoo! The School of Pharmacy is closed tomorrow because of a floating holiday we banked I think for Lincoln's or Washington's birthday. I was going to just work and save it for another time, however the weather is supposed to be fabulous so Peter is taking off too and we are going to get a jump start on our yard work. Our backyard (or back garden, as Peter would say) is a TOTAL disaster. But hopefully not after tomorrow. Thank goodness it is so small. I am soo glad we didn't buy more grass to take care of. I am really looking forward to spending the day outside tomorrow, even if it is to do back breaking labor.

My turn!

To be sick, that is. I woke up this morning with a headache and horrible stomach cramps. Nothing else--just painful cramping and no desire to eat anything. I need to drink something, but every time I take a sip the cramping gets worse. I have no idea what's going on, but it's no fun at all. And if I don't start feeling better soon, it'll mess up my exercise plans for the day--yesterday I went out for a run and it was so beautiful out that I actually enjoyed the run, except for the fact that I wasn't dressed for it. I had packed my gym bag to work out indoors on Monday when it was rainy, so I had floppy gym pants instead of running tights or shorts, and an oversized cotton t-shirt (which I don't like to work out in at all, but I really needed to do laundry and didn't have anything else to pack!), and worst of all, I forgot to pack socks. So I was sweaty (shirt), static-y (pants) and got blisters. But it was still a nice run.

I had planned on a repeat this afternoon, only with better clothes and better weather. But right now I just want to curl up in a ball and moan a bit.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Now celebrate like a true Irishman and go to church. Peter always laughs at the fact St. Patty's is associated with drinking here. His pioneer granny would not approve!

So day 1 of my grand super duper master plan scheme worked out well. I trekked across the city at lunch time, and it worked out mostly like I thought it would. I need to try another route across to the harbor; I took Fayette yesterday and it is way too ghetto for me. (Keep in mind--this is Fayette west of Charles.) It's no fun trying to weave your way through a group of drug addicts at varying levels of highness just to get across the street. I'm going to try Baltimore St tomorrow. I also brought in a pair of sneakers to keep at work. Given my crippled feet I can't afford to have them hurting after a lunch time walk.

My food plan worked out well too. We had a let's dish dinner, and I went to the grocery store and stocked up on decent snacks, etc. I packaged veggies and nuts into the right portions so all I have to do is grab them in the morning.

Today was going to be our lunch out day and Peter wanted to go to Slainte, but now I am not sure if it is going to work out like that. Hopefully. Dinner tonight is going to be another Let's Dish meal. and we had oatmeal for breakfast again.

I am a little worried about getting my scheduled exercise in tonight; I have a ton of grading to do. I think if I go to the gym right when I get home I should be ok.

Three blind mice ....

See how they run. Well those mice are getting more exercise than I am. I just started a new job last week after doing a temp job for about a month. My schedule has been all over the place and I don't have puking children, a pack of mice or a flock of Girl Scouts invading my home.

What's funny is my new job is primarily blogging, I'm trying to keep up my personal blog and remember to stop by here and put in my tarnished cent.

I'm trying to do a couple of things -- bring my lunch to work everyday. That consists of a salad with yogurt and almonds for a snack later in the day. I've just about got that routine back in full swing. It will get easier when the good veggies come back in spring/summer.

Then next is getting in a workout. I've been trying to get myself into a daily routine but it's still sporadic. So I'm working on it.

I've put on some hibernation weight but I also feel like it's *age* weight across the midsection. Regardless I know I need to pick up my exercise because I feel so much better when I'm regularly exercising. I just have to focus and stick with the routine. Yeah, easier said than done but I've done it before.

The warmer weather will certainly help in spurring me to get outside and get some exercise. I've been riding the Metro and doing a lot of walking and running escalators. But it's still not enough.

OK, I've got to go root out a pack of roaming cats in the house ... not sure how they got in yet. heehee

154 -- that's not fair!

So, last week I had a stomach virus, which left me eating maybe 700-800 calories a day -- I was painfully hungry if I ate less, but more nauseated every time I ate anything. My weight went as low as 148 in the middle of the week, but then, inexplicably, it started going back up! I even went to the gym three times during the week (though I just did the bike -- 250ish calories instead of 400ish, and no crunches or pushups, because the one day I did crunches left me feeling much, much worse). Over the weekend I started to feel normal, so for two days I ate freely just for the sheer pleasure of food feeling good again -- but I did NOT eat 7000 calories extra!! I would have been sick all over again -- I can't eat like that, ever. So WHY did my weight go up by two pounds from last Tuesday? Especially when I clearly had 4 pounds of water weight to shed? Sigh.

Today I'm back to counting calories obsessively. (There was no point when I was eating barely a fraction of a serving of anything, and just in dribs and drabs all day.) I have three gym trips planned for this week. I'm thinking that my goal of being under 150 before Easter is looking less and less realistic, though. Back to the daily grind!

Still 149.8

No change from last week, which is a bit frustrating, but I'm happy to hold steady rather than gain. Last week I ended up with three cardio sessions (total time of two hours--last summer I was doing seven hours per week!) and five strengthening/stretching session (including pilates), each about 30 minutes long. I think if the world was fair, we'd all lose a pound every time we exercised for an hour. Shouldn't that be how it works?

And in other news, apparently you catch the stupid mouse on the first night, then the next night the other mice know to avoid the trap. I heard a mouse in our kitchen last night, but there were no new visitors to the trap this morning. I have four more of these traps coming from Amazon today, so I'm going to put them everywhere. I like it that they don't use anything you wouldn't want your kids or pets around so I can put them all over without worrying that Davey's going to get poisoned or Connor is going to get his fingers smashed.

Me again...this is a bit rambling

I was trying to objectively look back over our posts from the past and in doing so, it got me thinking, especially after reading Sarah's post regarding her weekend. I, like Amy, have had a struggle with losing weight, while Sarah & Emily have had definite periods of great success and even though you guys have fluctuated, I still consider your success sustained since you never went higher than you started or even got back to where you started. And I know that it is still a struggle for you both, but overall you are winning. (And I'll give you a blogger-high-five for that!) So this made me think about how I am different from Sarah & Emily, and it has helped me draw some conclusions.

First, in comparison to Emily & Sarah, I lead a very fluid life. I have some set responsibilities (work, school) but aside from that, how I spend my time is totally up to me and me alone. I eat when I want, I sleep when I want, etc. Emily & Sarah have a much more scheduled life, in part because of keeping up with your little people, but I also think you both have the type of personalities that even if you didn't have families to manage, you'd still run your life in a similar manner. It just wouldn't be as hectic as it sometimes ends up being. You are both much more calculated than I am, whereas some days I feel absolutely all over the place. So I first concluded that I lack rigor when it comes to my own schedule because truthfully, there is no consequence if I get off schedule.

Second, I don't take advantage of the opportunity to schedule activities for myself, nor do I feel compelled to squeeze them into certain time frames that might be less than desirable. For instance--I have a lunch hour just like Sarah. What does Sarah do some days: go to the gym. What do I do: Facebook. My "rationale"--I don't like going back to the office icky, nor do I like carrying any extra clothes, etc to clean up. On the other hand, Emily schedules herself gym time ahead of time, rather than fitting it in during the day ad hoc since that doesn't always work as well. I also have the opportunity to schedule time, and guess what, I don't. My "rationale" there...I am too tired, or too this or too that. I have also been known (maybe not on this forum as much) to whine about my busy schedule...but really it is totally manageable.

Third, I struggle with my relationship with food. Sometimes I eat because I am bored, sometimes because I am sad, and those things happen more than because I am hungry. and when I find myself eating for all those other reasons, I am angry with myself, but I do it anyways. Now, I hate that feeling of being hungry, so the chances of me letting that happen on purpose are slim. I have to find a way to re balance this relationship. I used to be good about planning and packing my lunches and dinners ahead of time, and then I got lazy. I place a tiny bit of blame in this category on Peter; he LOVES to eat out. And since it is easier than cooking in, I go along with it A LOT.

My conclusions: first, I need to take advantage of the time I have and be more resourceful and efficient. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when I have class and get home late, I am going to take a walk at lunch. That will make me more like Sarah. Then on Mondays and Wednesdays when I don't have after work responsibilities, I am going to the gym. That will make me more like Emily. That gives me 4 opportunities for exercise within 4 days. Once I "master" this, I also have a plan for the Friday-Sunday time period.

Now, to deal with the food situation, I am imposing a rule on my lifestyle: I can eat one of each meal out per week. So one breakfast, one lunch and one dinner. For all the rest, I am going to go google some spiffy meal planner situation and plan out my week. And I'm going to plan an extra idea of each meal just in case when I get to a certain day I don't feel like whatever I have planned, I can roll over to Plan B before heading out the door for a restaurant. And this is also good timing because eating at home is SO MUCH EASIER for me when I can use my outside grill. I love my grill. And I always grill a huge serving of veggies--any veggie cut up, placed in a foil packet, sprinkled with Mrs. Dash's garlic and basil seasoning and just a teeny drizzle of olive oil. We go through so much squash and onions and mushrooms during grilling season it is crazy.

So I started this today; I got up this morning a few minutes early and made us oatmeal for breakfast. It was really good. And today will be the perfect day to start my lunch time walk. I just have to map out a path that keeps me safe since I work in the 'hood. I think I'll head south towards the hospital, then east towards the harbor. I'm going to set the timer on my phone so I walk 20 minutes out, then turn around for the 20 minutes back. If I keep a decent pace, that should be around 2 miles given that I'll have to wait for crosswalks, etc.

I also packed a lunch today. It is a 300 calorie mini frozen pizza (the cardboard kind) which isn't a great lunch, but it is a packed lunch. But it could be worse--I could go to Potbellies and eat a sandwich for 500 or 600 or more calories. I'm heading to the grocery store after school tonight and I'll get myself in a better position for healthier lunch for the rest of the week.

So there's my rambling, ranting, plan. LOL. Let's see how it pans out. Is it the epiphany I have been looking for? Who knows. Sometimes those seem so overrated and then you've wasted all that time waiting....

Icky sicky sick

I've been MIA because I've been coughing up my lungs for most of the past week. "Up" side--the drugs (pseudoephedrine) caused me to lose 7 lbs since last Tuesday. It's definitely all water weight. I have been eating fairly normally, and drinking insane amounts of any liquid. I am feeling markedly better today, so I look for my weight to creep back to "normal" in the next few days. I haven't been exercising at all; I actually tried to do a 40 minute pilates DVD last Wednesday, but I stopped when the hundreds nearly killed me. I couldn't do the breathing, which I suppose makes total sense given my upper respiratory situation at the time. And holding your breath for the duration of each move seems to defeat the point. I made it about 15 minutes into the DVD, so that is my total activity for the week.

OK - That wasn't so bad

Well, my weight was lower today than I expected. This was after ordering pizza last night - and I didn't even get the thin crust!! So instead of being 40 pounds over my starting weight I am exactly 35 pounds over that point. Ugh.

I couldn't sleep last night at all! I have been shooting to get to bed by 10:30 each night as my Lenten resolution. Last night I was a little bit late. I was in bed by 10:45 and read until about 11:15. Then, I turned off my light, rolled over and COULDN'T sleep! The last I remember checking the clock was at 2:15am. SO frustrating! Remarkably, I don't feel so bad today. I guess four hours is enough for me. I am going to be tired tonight I bet. Anyway, I was dreaming this morning that Williamsburg was flooding. Not dramatically flooding, but the water levels were going up in areas and the interpreters were supposed to be measuring it. I was going around giving the water gauges to people (aparently I worked there...).

I have a weird welt on my cheek where the CPAP mask was resting. This was a spot that was bothering me even at the time, so I wonder if there was a slight crack or someting in the seal that was pinching my skin, or perhaps it stuck their more. Regardless, it is bugging me now.

I just had my reminder pop up telling me to go for a walk, so I think I will do that now...