Moan and groan / Leave us alone! /...

Halloween's just one night a year!

I've had Shivery Yells in my head all day (and I've never learned the words to "Silver Bells" properly -- they always end up back on this version) because I started the day with moaning and groaning. 142.5, my worst weight since February. Ugh. We haven't been to the gym yet, but it will happen soon -- we just haven't had time this week so far.

I promised healthier posts this week but I can't deliver yet. What is it going to take to kick-start my diet??? When my jeans no longer fasten? (It won't be long at this rate!)

Since you guys all have some knowledge about this...

Last night I was asked to consider a full time faculty position at the community college. It's a 10 month position and would pay around $40k, and it would start in Fall 2007. Is that good, bad, or average? I have no idea about this. I'd be teaching GIS, geography and some lower level math classes. I do not think I will go after it at this point; JMT is a few years away from the ESOP being complete and I really want to suck all the retirement money I can out of that, but I do want a job like this in the future (maybe 5 years from now??) so I need to understand how it all works. Do you guys have any input, comments, thoughts?

155.5

My weight is down. It has been up and down from 154 to 156 for the past few days. You all really need more stress in your lives, I am sure it would help kick start your weight loss. hahaha

Scary weigh-in day

Appropriate for Halloween, right? I was 135 even today. One ounce more and I'd be outside my aceptable weight range. And I think this is the highest I've been on a weigh-in day since the cruise (when I came back at 135.6 but lost it quickly over the next week or two).

Grapefruit and celery and cottage cheese. That's the only answer. Isn't that what people on diets are supposed to eat? I should try it for a week and see what happens. I'd definitely lose weight since I can't stand two of the three.

Higher than Ever!

Today my weight was higher than my starting weight. That is the first time this has happened. I was 216 even. I was 216 even after I went to the bathroom too. My clothes are getting tighter too. That is what I get for quitting smoking and exercising consistantly!

My food was pretty bad. I ate lots of girl scout cookies. (Although I gave one box away and have hidden three others...) I also ate a blob of desserty goodness that we got from Let's Dish last week. YUM! I have to hide those. They are ALL FAT!! Then yesterday I made mom's birthday cake and licked the bowls from that (sorry mom). I only drank one hard cider, and about two glasses of soft cider. Then I had sugary coffees both on Saturday and Sunday. I think that was all the bad stuff all weekend. I did eat some healthy foods in between - but who cares about the healthy stuff.

I did not use the treadmill Friday night (I went out with Sarah - although I was home early enough that I could have done it). I DID use it on Saturday - but took Sunday off too. I will have to make sure I use it tonight because I know I won't get to it tomorrow night. I have to be at work at 6am - so I KNOW I won't do it before work either!!!

Really, really, really bad weekend

This was the worst I've been since we started this diet, and I'm paying the price for it with this morning's weight. My entire diet this weekend was fried food and sugar and coffee. I had pizza, fried mozarella, ramen noodles, grilled cheese, most of a box of Samoas, and popcorn (the only light and relatively low-calorie thing I ate all weekend!). This morning I weighed 135.8. It was like I had just decided that all of my good behavior of the past year could be completely forgotten for 48+ hours.

And I only got to the gym once last week, and only took Davey on one walk. This has to end. In another few pounds, my new clothes will stop fitting me!

Diet? Me?

Sheesh, I've been bad this week. Like eating-a-whole-bag-of-sugared-almonds bad. Then following that up with eating half a bag of candy corn. After finishing a dinner of a BLT and soup (at least I finally got some vegetables!). And today I weighed 135. Uggghhhh. And I've only been to the gym once. And I probably won't get there again today because I have some Halloween shopping to do. And then next week is Halloween and there will be so many goodies around that I was able to avoid last year because I was really committed to losing weight, but this year not so much. And then there's Thanksgiving and Christmas--the two month long calorie-fest. I'm doomed.

Heading home today

And thank goodness! Daniel's mom and I are both way off our diets -- and all that exercise I envisioned getting here just didn't materialize. Daniel and I went running one morning, a 5k-ish that took embarrassingly long, and that was it. Next week we're going over to the Weight Club and we're going to sign up -- or turn around and buy exercise bikes -- but one way or another exercise starts SOON. I'm tired of being a slug and my stomach is looking scarier and scarier.

Food has been not good. Yesterday was Mary's birthday and so I had cake and candy (no ice cream) and lemonade (Cecilia's cup was too ful for her) and spaghetti and bread and wine for dinner and a lunch of barbecue and southern-style vegetables (which totally defeat the purpose of vegetables, as far as I can tell -- they're cooked with tons of fat and stewed so long that they have no nutrients left) and more bread and sweet potatoes and heaven knows what else; we were at Aunt Carolyn's and she pulled out all the stops. Most of it was good. And breakfasts haven't been particularly healthy, either, though yesterday I had a whole-wheat bagel; today was scrambled eggs and bacon and biscuits (with strawberry preserves, no butter) and orange juice and cantaloupe. I need to learn some restraint and go for more cantaloupe and less bacon.

Starting next week my posts are going to be a lot healthier. Really.

I am thinking alternatives

I am thinking about accupuncture. I know a few people who swear by it for so many reasons. I am thinking about calling one (who is partially covered by my health insurance!) and having a consultation at least. My knees have been hurting (as is my back again). I think it must be all related to my weight - which could be metabolic, gastrointestional, or psychological. Accupuncture is supposed to help all of those. So - maybe I will give it a shot!

Getting caught up

What a week it has been! I haven't posted since MONDAY! Wow! In fact - I haven't even checked the Blog since Monday.

I had a seminar to attend on Tuesday. My weight that day was 214.2 (or point zero - I can't quite remember) a little down from last weeks weight. Then Wednesday I dropped to 212.6. Yesterday I was back UP to 214.6 and this morning down to 213.6 which went up to 214 after my shower - but I am counting the 213.6.

I have been using the treadmill diligently every day except yesterday. Yesterday Katie and I went to Let's Dish after work - and by the time we got home and everything loaded up in the fridge and the dishwasher unloaded and the kitchen cleaned up (a little bit - it needs a lot more!) it was 11:24pm. I THOUGHT about doing some time on the treadmill, but decided that by the time I worked out - got sweaty - got cleaned and went to bed, it would be 1am - and I was tired. Tonight I am going to a fund raiser with Sarah - so I may not get time on the treadmill then either.

Food has been VERY sugary. I am girding my loins for the hypothetical abandonment of it next week. After the Renn Fest on Sunday, I ate Girl Scout cookies on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and last night. Although - I have only actually polished off one box of Samoas, a box of Tagalongs, and half of a box of Do-si-dos. This is full disclosure, right. Horrible, I know!! But - It COULD have been worse... I COULD have finished a full box EVERY day. Sigh. Other than the Girl Scout cookies I think I have been pretty good. I had lunch at Panera yesterday and Wednesday. I had salads each day - with soup yesterday and 1/2 a sandwich on Wednesday, and an apple. Dinners have been either Girl Scout cookies - or Let's Dish - but nothing that dramatic.

And that's it... I think.

Here's a good laugh for everyone...

I had to take some papers over to the City Fire Dept’s safety office in the municipal credit union building (they are in the basement) and when I went to leave, I took the wrong door out and got LOCKED IN THE STAIRWELL. I had to call the chief so he could let me out…

I'm sort of here...

This week has been nuts. I think I was 156 again yesterday. I haven't been exercising, although I did participate in the Race for the Cure Saturday. That was fun. School has been keeping me really busy. I was audited Monday night, so I am glad that is over with. It is one less thing to stress over. I tend to only be home 2 nights during the week, and those nights I spend getting myself ready for class.

Eating continues to be very random. Last night I had a small steak and the rest of a Cadbury fruit & nut bar. Lunch was soup and bread, and breakfast was a muffin. Monday I ate lunch at a really nice Irish pub in Fells Point. I had a fish sandwich with some fries, but not many because they were too fat. I'm a skinny french frie kind of girl. Dinner Monday night was cottage cheese and pears, and crackers I think. It was nearly 10 pm so I was just eating whatever was nearby. I don't recall breakfast. Oh! I know why I don't recall breakfast--I never had it. It took me 3 hours to get to work Monday so I drank a vitamin water in the car.

Since I have not had time (or honestly the motivation) to hit the treadmill, I have decided that for the next week I want to do 50 crunches and as many push ups (probably 5! haha) as I can before bed. it isn't much, but it is something.

No idea what I weigh

I'm guessing it's about 141, but I don't have a scale. I haven't exercised here in AL yet -- yesterday and today Daniel has had labs to proctor all morning and afternoon (they're computer-based labs, so he just has to monitor that the computers are all working and that processes finish on them properly, but he's mostly tied to the machine all day) and I'm not all that keen on going out alone. So I've been using the opportunity to sew like mad, and I've made a lot of progress. Once the costumes are done I'll have a fair amount of empty time on my hands, while we're here, so I'll get some exercise then.

Food hasn't been too bad -- Daniel's mom is also on a diet so she's cooking light. We had BBQ chicken with veggies, mashed potatoes and bread (and I kept the latter two to a minimum, though I had some cheesecake for dessert) the first night and brunswick stew with cornbread last night. But there's still candy around (candy corn is the main offender) so I've been snacking on that a little bit. Could be worse. I'm certainly not losing any weight with my diet here so far, but I'm not piling on the pounds, either, I hope.

134

OK, that's not as bad as I thought it might be. I was thinking I might be closer to 135, or even over, after all I ate on Sunday and yesterday. Yesterday I was really good all day, but in the evening I fell apart--I had a McDonald's salad for dinner (and put full fat dressing on it) and gorged on cinnamon sugar almonds. And I didn't take a break at work so I didn't exercise at all either. Today will be more of the same--we're taking Connor to a GI specialist so that's how I'll spend my break. And I know I won't be able to stay out of the almonds either.

OTOH, I didn't eat one Girl Scout cookie all day yesterday!

Threats!

I was tempted to threaten to not post anymore until everyone else (Sarah not included) put at least ONE post up... but they I realized that you all would just stop reading the blog altogether and that would defeat the purpose of the blog.

Other threat - I told Sarah on Sunday (as we were indulging in our Renn Fest yummies) that I am terrified that the endocrinologist will tell me that I have a high intolerance of sugar and that I will have to get it ALL out of my life. I would die. Sarah said - yeah, and then I would bully the rest of YOU ALL into giving up sugar too. Hey! If I can do it SO CAN YOU! We are in this together, right??? You too should live in fear! What will I do without my sugared coffees? Is this the type of thing that if I have an occational Coldstone icecream I will go into sugar shock for the rest of my life? AHHHHH! See - I am in such fear of this that I am borrowing trouble a week before the appointment is supposed to happen.

I was a slug all day on Saturday. Sunday I would have been a slug too - but for the indulgent trip to the Renn Fest - which turned out to be a lot of fun. I walked for 43 minutes each day - and on Sunday I actually RAN - for 33 seconds. 8-) I was always afraid to run on the treadmill at the gym for fear of looking like an absolute idiot. I don't mind so much in the privacy of my own home. Maybe tonight I will run for TWO 33 second sessions. ;-) I really like the whole exercising at will thing. I enjoy it first thing in the morning - because I start the day will a calorie deficit. Kind of neat. It also sets the tone for food (at least for a little bit).

Food has been iffy. I actually can't remember mostly what I ate this weekend. I made whole wheat waffles for breakfast on Saturday - and then ate the leftovers for lunch that day (not a good thing - but very yummy). Dinner that night was a PB & P sandwich. Sunday - I had a swiss cheese omlet and whole wheat toast for breakfast. Lunch was Renn Fest food (I had a steak on a stake, TWO Fi-fi's and some sugared nuts. Oh - and the obligitory Cheesecake on a stick.) That was dinner too. I don't think I ate anything else on Sunday.

Today I ate my sandwich for breakfast at 8am (Ham and Swiss on whole grain - it seemed more appealing than my cereal this morning). I ate my cereal for lunch - and am now thinking about heating up the acorn squash I brought with me.

Ugh--weekend overindulgence

I didn't exercise on Friday (left work early) but I think I ate o.k. that day--or at least I have no memory of my eating, which means I stuck to the normal stuff.

Saturday was a busy day--lots of running around with the kids. Again, I can't remember what I ate most of the day! Connor and I shared a pack of Rolos when we were out in the afternoon, and I bought peanut-free candy corn for Claire, which of course she shared with me. Breakfast was just coffee, I think. And I can't remember lunch at all. Dinner was the sort of thing you don't want to eat when you're trying to lose weight--hot dog, baked potato, and applesauce. But I did take Davey on a three mile walk, which made up in part for the exercise I didn't do on Friday.

Sunday was a total day of indulgence--my food for the day was a breakfast bar, two cups of coffee, a handful of candy corn, three Girl Scout cookies, fish and chips at the Ren Fest (spontaneous last-minute trip, and I ate spontaneously as well), a Fi-Fi (if you don't know, don't ask), root beer float, piece of pizza for dinner, a beer, two more Girl Scout cookies, and four or five "Texas-sized" jelly beans (which taste better than you'd imagine). Oh, and a bunch of cinnamon-sugar almonds. So unless you count the tomato sauce on the pizza, I didn't eat one fruit or vegetable all day!

Surprisingly, my weight this morning was still 133.6, which it was when I last weighed myself on Thursday (I forgot to weigh myself on Friday and on Saturday and Sunday I chose not to weigh myself!), but yesterday's food should catch up with me tomorrow. Yuck. Maybe Brian's stomach bug (he was sick as a dog all day Saturday) will hit me so I'll have a good weight tomorrow! Ummm, maybe not. I'd rather see a bad weight and have to lose it the old fashioned way.

A post to show I'm still hanging around

Amy's had the last three posts so I thought it was time to show that I am at least reading them, even if I'm not saying much! My weight has been depressing -- except for this morning it's been over 140 all week -- and there's little chance it's going to improve soon. Next week we're in Alabama and at best I maintain my weight there -- I do get official exercise, or I can (and I plan to), but I don't get the normal daily activity level to begin with, and I eat so much worse than I do at home. And while I'm home I'm having to sew like mad to finish costumes for Halloween (the Felicity ball gown is almost done, but while I made adjustments for Mary's small size around I assumed that if her height matched the one for the pattern size I wouldn't need to adjust in length -- big mistake! It's waaayyyy too long and too long-waisted, so now I'm a little stuck) so I'm not getting any exercise at all this week. I feel guilty even checking my email and the blog.

Back to the sewing machine. I'm going to have to accept that I'm a little fatter than I was in the spring, and I'll work on it in November. Sigh.

I live in fear

Every day now when I get on the scale I am SO afraid it will be up above the 215.4 where I started. It wasn't this morning (214 even) but I feel it looming out there. Sigh.

I walked on the treadmill again last night for 42 minutes (the length of an episode of Gray's Anatomy). I was sweating like crazy again when I was done. Katie was smart an opened a window in that room - but it didn't do a lot of good. The treadmill has a fan built it - which I thought was silly when I first saw it - but now think is a good idea. It is awfully nice having the treadmill RIGHT THERE in my own house. I just wish it was possible to walk it in my pajamas and barefeet (which I suppose I could, but it wouldn't be very comfortable). Each day yesterday and today I woke up wanting to walk - however, a workout takes quite a time committment (an hour at least if you figure in changing and then showering afterwards) and I am not quite mentally to the point of getting up at 5:30am just to exercise!

Food yesterday was OK. I stuck to what was packed in my lunch, which was all healthy stuff. Dinner last night was salads from Wegmans and VERY SMALL pieces of quiche. I got Ginger-Os from Wegmans also - which are like Oreo cookies, but made with ginger snaps. I ate four last night. Two were with dinner (dessert) and then two were my reward for working out... which kind of defeated the point of working out. Oh well.

1000

OK - This is 1000. You all had a couple of hours to jump on this one. Too bad for you.

I just spent the past 15 minutes filling in my calendar with Kristy with all of our "dinners out" for the next couple of months. I have to learn how NOT to eat the yummy stuff at restaurants. Sigh.

Today I had clam chowder with whole grain toast for lunch. I had Kashi with milk for breakfast - and these both happened between 1:45 and 2:00 this afternoon. I am about to drink my V8 now.

I got my flu shot today too. I hope that doesn't prevent me from exercising - because I intend to anyway! 8-) Wouldn't it be a good excuse though. Of course, a little stick in the arm (which surprisingly aches afterwards) isn't like giving a pint of blood. Oh well.

1000

Posts - almost. I wanted to be #1000 - but I guess I will have to settle for 999. Well, actually - it is not uncommon for me to be the only one who writes a post for several in a row - so, I COULD still be 1000 - maybe.

Katie and I went to Bonefish last night for the first time in MONTHS. I have been craving salads since I had the great one from Wegmans on Tuesday. I got one from Grauls yesterday - and then last night I wanted one from Bonefish. WHY is it that purchased salads taste so much better than one I would make on my own??? I am going to Wegmans again to get another one for dinner tonight. I must be seriously Vitamin C deprived - or just plain old dehydrated - and my body has decided that lettuce is what I need.

I was fat again this morning - 215.2. I think I should just start smoking again. I don't really WANT to - but I am seeing the affects. I was bad this past weekend - but not 5-6 pounds bad - and I have been no worse this week than the past couple of months. I ATE TWO SALADS yesterday - AND WORKED OUT!!! This jump was bigger than the one I saw after the cruise. Hummmm. I really home the doctor can shed some light on my issues. Although, since my weight jump WAS so big after the no smoking really registerd this time, I think that it is some indication that my metabolism is wonky. I don't know if there is anything that can be done about that though.

Mmmmmm, pears are in season!

I just finished eating the best pear. I need to go buy more--Claire and I will both eat them like candy, without the negative side effects of weight gain and cavities.

Yesterday I had to really force myself to go to the gym. I was up at 3:47 a.m. with Connor (why do I always look at the clock as soon as my eyes are open? And why do I always remember the exact time?) so it was a long, tiring day and at 3:00 p.m. the last thing I wanted to do was run three miles. But I did it anyway.

My food, however, wasn't the best. We were out of yogurt, so I threw in some leftover risotto for lunch, which is much more than I normally eat at lunch, and then while grocery shopping (for yogurt of course) after work, I got a candy bar. And then Brian made mesquite chicken pizza for dinner, so that wasn't the healthiest choice. And I bought some of the caramel flavored Oreo cookies while shopping (NEVER shop when you're hungry!) and ate four of them in the evening. 133.8 this morning. No surprise!

Amy--good for you on the treadmill! It'll kick your butt a few times before you get back into the habit, but you'll get back to your former level quickly. Or at least that's what happened to me when I started running again after not going at all for more than a month.

Maybe because

I have gained 10 pounds in the past two weeks, quit smoking, stopped exercising and basically have gone back to where I was a year ago - but that treadmill kicked my ass!!!

I did a 42-ish minute walk. Long enough to watch an episode of Gray's Anatomy. I did it at a 5 incline (I do 6 at the gym) and at 2.8 mph (normally I do 3 or more for an incline walk). I was sweating like crazy by the time I was done, my heart rate was registering at 165 (I don't know how accurate that was) and I was a little bit staggery and dizzy. I feel great now though. Smug because I finally worked out!

I had cottage cheese and coffee for breakfast. I am going to eat lunch now - and then I have to go into work for an hour or so... ugh.

Catching up

Weight yesterday was 156. Exercise = 0. Food = very random. As a sampler, yesterday I had a nutragrain bar, a yucky salad with chicken, a vitamin water, gobs of regular vitamins (there are so many pills I actually am counting them as food b/c my skin is so AWFUL right now...will up date on that in a second) a cupcake from the Baltimore Cupcake Co (TO DIE FOR), a piece of cheddar cheese, and a really small baked potato (baseball sized) with some butter and shredded cheese.

My treadmill...ProForm something or another. I first would walk and watch Friends (one episode was great at first, then I moved up to 2 episodes) and I eventaully tried Health magazine's walk to run program and I would say I am somewhere in the middle of that although given my lack of exercise lately I will probably not be able to pick up exactly where I left off. I have to have music for running. TV is too slow paced. I have developed an odd taste for hip hop and DJ mixes as a result of wanting to run. There are some great podcasts that you can download, some of which are free and change every week.

So my skin...I have NO IDEA what has it freaked out. Well, that's a lie really. It is stress. So I augment my usual Oil of Olay vitamins with their healthy skin pack. So I start my day with 6 pills of whatever nutrients they think are good for my skin in hopes of finding a balance again. Middle school health teachers are total liars...the pimple/break out situation gets WORSE as you grow up, not better.

The cupcake company--that place is so awesome. It is on E Fort Ave in the city. The icing is the lightest buttercream ever on earth and I could just slather it all over my body. Diet or no diet, next time I know I'll be seeing you all I'm bringing one for each of you. It's the sort of thing where if you are going to indulge, it is definitely doing it right. Don't waste calories on unfulfilling junk--this cupcake was fabulous. I was so happy after I ate it and I didn't even want another. It totally made my day yesterday. Mine was cookies and cream. The cake was the cookies and cream part, and it had chocolate buttercream with crumbled cookies on it. I am even smiling as I type about it...residual positive effects even the next day!

We could all be cover models!

Have you all seen this Dove ad? Pretty amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U

Early in the morning

I set my alarm this morning to get up at 8:30. I have been very tired since I got back from Texas - and would probably sleep all day if I had the time. Anyway - my treadmill was scheduled to be delivered between 8:45 and 10:45 this morning. Katie and I had cleared a space in the sewing room, and even opened up an electrical socket for it - and moved my little TV and her little DVD player into that room (this is in between making six beautiful beads last night - we were very productive!) Luckily I am a light sleeper, because at 8:10 I heard a big truck manuvering in my court. Sears had arrived!!! 20 minutes later I had a treadmill all set up in my room!! Yippee!!!!! I am now going to finish my coffee and they take it for a test drive. Pretty cool huh?

Julie - I never heard what kind you bought. I know you use it all the time, so I was just curious. I hope I can stay as motivated as you have been.

OH - My weight this moring was 213.8. I really need some blueberries. 8-)

Up, up, up!

I was feeling pretty good about my week until I weighed in this morning and then thought about it more objectively! I was 141.0 this morning, my highest weigh-in in a very very very long time. I guess I was feeling good because of the running -- but when it comes down to it, I only went running twice, and I don't recall doing much other exercise. And I also felt good because with Mom and Dad around we ate a veggie and a salad at most dinners -- but we ate out one time, and had pizza another, and we had dessert almost every night (if not every night), and yesterday after they left I had a piece of cheesecake during the day and some chocolate orange in the evening and a very small dish of ice cream at night. So when it comes down to it I've been eating pretty horribly! I guess I'm in the preparing-to-hibernate camp as well.

I haven't been getting much exercise of late, as noted, and with our schedule the next few weeks (a potential trip to Williamsburg at the end of this week, a trip to Alabama for the whole next week, and three Halloween costumes to make in the meantime) there doesn't seem to be much point until November. I hope that we'll get a chance to go for jogs in Alabamaville, though; it's easier to get exercise there than at home.

Lemonade Diet

OK - Lynne Tuccy has all of the weird diets. She was the one that turned us onto the Fat Flush(which still is my favorite of the fad diets). Today she gave me the Lemonade Diet. This is actually not a diet so much as a fast. I don't know how anyone could do a diet like this - but I am tempted to try it. You do it for 10 to 40 days. All you consume is fresh lemon or lime juice mixed with pure maple syrup (the darker the better), lukewarm water and a smidge of cayenne pepper. This is a cleansing diet. I think you spend the first several days throwing up, pooping and being dizzy. You can drink mint tea for "a refreshing change" but that is it. To come off of the diet for two days you add in orange juice. Then, you add in fresh fruit or vegetables, then vegetable soup. This is over the course of three days. THEN you can eat normally again.

Anyone with me? ;-)

Hibernation...

That is so funny Sarah - I JUST said "All I want to do is eat and hibernate!" I think it is the weather. Your body is trying to keep you warm and to do so (without buring your fat reserves) it requires you to eat more stuff.

Today I detoured from my diet (again). I had my whole wheat Kashi cereal with 2% milk (the store was out of skim Lataid milk, except as half gallons, but the whole gallon is only $1 more than the half...) I have been drinking coffee with the same milk all day. Then for lunch I had left over sushi - really NON fattening sushi. Four pieces were plain salmon, and four were spicy tuna (which is just raw tuna with spices squished in) . It wasn't my favorite sushi. I also ate half of an acorn squash left over from dinner last night. Then I had a bag of chips. That was my big detour. 300 calories wasted! Then I had a lunch meeting (actually the meeting happened first) where we were bagging up Halloween candy for the folks in the DC. I ate one mini Baby Ruth and one mini Skittles - which is actually amazing considering I was SURROUNDED by hundreds of pieces of candy. So I am not too mad at myself for that. I will probably drink my V-8 before the end of the day. I don't know what we are having for dinner tonight either. Since we have started this diet I have really gotten into the habit of eating the bulk of my food during the day. I used to snack all evening at home - beginning from the time I got home until I went to bed. Now that Katie and I eat actual dinners, I eat much less afterwards - if at all. Fat lot of good that has done me!

I'm hungry!

Legitimately stomach-growling hungry and I can't figure out why. Normally at this point in the day I've eaten all my usual food with the exception of my yogurt--I usually eat that around 4:00 when I eat it at all. But today I've had everything I brought with me (although I had cottage cheese and fruit instead of yogurt) AND two Pepperidge Farm cookies from a tray in the kitchen and I'm still hungry and it's only 3:30. How can I last another hour and a half without eating more cookies or hitting the vending machine?

Down one pound

I was down to 133.2 this morning after managing to not overeat all weekend (a first in a while for me!). Exercise in the past few days has been the same as usual--running on Friday and Monday, walking Davey also on Friday and Monday. Food was also the same as usual, although we went pumpkin picking (I use that term loosely--apparently pumpkins don't grow anymore, they just arrive in piles and you pick one out of the pile. It's not much fun. Remind me next year to either find a new location for pumpkin picking or just stick with the grocery store.) on Saturday so I had some pulled pork barbeque--yum! But I planned the whole day around it, eating a late brunch and then a tiny dinner, so it didn't mess up my day entirely.

This is HORRIBLE

My weight this morning was 214.6. That is FIVE POUNDS up from last week. I know I was really bad over the weekend. I know also that I need to eat some blueberries again. But still - FIVE POUNDS! That seems extreme to me.

This is the worst weigh in day EVER!

Fat, fat, fat. UGH!

So did you all miss me while I was in Texas? I had SUCH a good time while I was gone, but my eating and exercise were JUST HORRIBLE! I drank probably about three gallons of margaritas and ate a corresponding number of quesadillas, enchilladas, steaks, refried beans, spanish rice, etc. It was VERY fattening. I got little exercise - we walked around a lot - especially on the Riverwalk, but it was at a strolling pace...

But LOOK! I'm a cowboy. Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!

I was 214.4 today. So I am now just ONE POUND away from my starting weight. I am really much more motivated by that number than I was by the 208.4 that I have been seeing. I ate a salad for lunch today. I was actually WANTING a salad after all of the non salad food I have been having lately. I got it from Wegmans and it was very good.

I am supposed to be getting my treadmill delivered on Wednesday. I have been having this dilemna over where to put it. I think I am going to put it in the sewing room. That way Katie and Laura can access it without feeling like they are disturbing me. I think I will also move my little TV in that room too - so we CAN watch TV at the same time. We really don't use the sewing room much for anything - so I think this is the best decision. SO - when I DO want to sew or wrap presents, I can just fold up the treadmill to do it.

Brrrrrr!

We went to the 5k this morning. It was freezing when we first went out -- Alexander couldn't finish the 1-mile because he got too cold, and Cecilia cried as I carried her around while we watched the big kids. It wasn't a whole lot warmer for the 5k but it ended up feeling pretty good for the race. I ran too fast for the first mile (9:15) but I sort of expected that, and then I paced myself to a 10-minute mile for the rest of the race and I finished in 29:54. Even though I was faster earlier in the year I was pleased to be under 30. Daniel came in at 28:37 and was disappointed -- he'd hoped to be under 28:30. But it's still an improvement for him over last year.

The T-shirt they gave me was a kids' medium instead of an adult medium. I've gotten smaller but not THAT small!

Mom did the mile walk with the kids, and Dad went out with her. Then he did the 5k as well! He walked it and ended up taking 52 minutes, when he'd hoped for 45, but I was impressed that he did it at all. Yesterday he and Mom went out on a 4.5 mile walk, so he's been getting more exercise than any of us. I only walked as far as Kroger yesterday -- 1/2 mile total.

This morning I've had a half bagel and cream cheese (full fat) and a half a banana and a couple of ounces of Gatorade with what looked like bits of leaves in it. I really wanted water but I would have felt rude refusing it! Yesterday we had roast chicken and apple-walnut-herb stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans and salad with caesar dressing and a glass of wine for dinner. But I ate small portions of everything and didn't feel like I was going to explode. Only then we went out to Coldstone (had to use my birthday coupon and Mom's, too) and I ate a Love It size almost all gone so then I felt like I was going to explode. And tonight we're having veal scaloppine and wine and pecan pie for dinner, which is going to make me explode again. At least I've hardly been snacking this week -- I have really been too busy.

Now I have a baseline number to try to beat on future 5k's. So next year I can only be happy if I'm under 29.

I'm still freezing. Time to go put on warm clothes!

Yesterday and today

I'm still frustratingly at 134.2 and 134.4. But the running is getting better/easier. I was back in the gym yesterday and instead of moving gradually from 5 to 5.5 m.p.h., I upped it to 5.5 after 10 minutes, stayed there for 15 minutes, then upped it to 6 m.p.h. for the last five minutes and didn't die. I'm going to hold at that for the next week or two and then increase the amount of time I stay at 6 m.p.h. I hope, eventually, to be able to run the full 30 minutes at that speed.

Food has been the same as usual, although with a total lack of vegetables yesterday. On Tuesday we had bean and pasta stew for dinner, and yesterday it was chicken with noodles and gravy (leftovers from Sunday) and all my vegetable attempts were thwarted--no fresh veggies except carrots and we're sick of those, so I pulled out a frozen mix but they were frozen solid and freezer burned (Claire left the freezer open a crack a couple of months ago, and ever since then we keep finding things that thawed and refroze that are inedible), so those got trashed, so I decided to make a salad and the lettuce was all brown and gross in the center. Yuck. So no vegetables with dinner. Although, now that I think about it, I did really well with veggies at lunch. I had a lunch meeting and ordered a cajun chicken wrap, steamed oriental veggies, and french fries. So I did eat half of the french fries (they were really good!) but also had the steamed vegetables and the veggies on the wrap (only ate half the wrap, though).

So I guess I haven't been completely overeating, but I've certainly been eating enough that it's understandable that my weight is staying the same. I really need to cut down to 1200 to 1300 calories a day again to really lose weight. I just hate doing that!

Tonight is the Brownies induction/awards ceremony. The Brownies are cooking for us. Yee-haw. I probably won't have too many difficulties keeping down the calorie count! I know one of the items they are making is soup. Each girl was asked to bring in a can of vegetables for this. Doesn't sound too yummy to me.

Oh, one good thing about hovering just around 135 is that all the "estimated calorie burn" charts you see in magazines for different activities are estimated for a woman who weighs 135, so at least those are accurate for a change!

Out for a (sluggish) run

I went running this morning, and I was determined to jog the whole 5k so I started off slowly. That meant I kept a pretty sluggish pace the whole time, but I did actually get through all of it. After the 3 mile mark I realized I still had a fair amount of energy in reserve, so I actually ran the last portion (which is a little longer than 0.1 miles -- it's probably closer to 0.2) and I finished it in about 33 1/2 minutes (my watch doesn't have a timer). I'd like to do better on Saturday for the race -- it's so frustrating that just four months ago I could run this in under 29!

Daniel and I are going to visit a gym before we buy any equipment -- that worked so well for us, and we enjoyed exercising together, and we liked having other options available to us. And I hate the idea of being stuck in my basement exercising, but I don't like the thought of having a bike in the office when the room is already so cluttered. There's no perfect option, of course.

Last night we went out to dinner and I got salmon with chipotle BBQ sauce, actually a very lean option. The heavy stuff was unappealing. I had a baked potato on the side and didn't eat much of that. But I ate a caesar salad (and quit after about a third of it) and two of the rolls (O'Charley's has very good rolls) and a piece of caramel pie (which was OK but not fabulous -- I think I'd rather eat my way through a bag of caramels!). And I drank a glass and a half of wine. But think how much worse the dinner would have been if I'd gotten the cajun alfredo stuff or something similar! I know, I'm reaching...

Today I'm eating normally. Yogurt and pretzels for lunch, my usual breakfast. I have had a few slices of my chocolate orange -- Daniel gave me two for my birthday, only two days late, and I've been eating them very slowly. Tonight we'll have sauerbraten meatballs and green beans and a salad for dinner but I'll probably cave and have dessert, because Mom and Dad like dessert and it would be just plain rude if I didn't offer it, right? ;-)

I am soooo never going to lose any more weight...

139.0

Again. I made sure to make a note of it this morning. The lowest I've seen in a long time is 138, and that was with no clothes at all -- usually I wear my PJs when I weigh.

We have the money back from the gym -- did I mention that before? I'm in the market now for a recumbent bicycle. Not sure where I'll put it -- there would be a little room in the office or I could clean up the basement and we'd have room for two, probably. THEN I'll get some exercise. Really.

Food is not so good -- last night I had two pieces of pizza (but I chose small ones) and a breadstick (dripping with garlic butter) and a beer. Before that my day had been OK, though. Today I've had my usual breakfast, and for snacks I've had almonds (three rounds, which I try to set as my maximum), and for lunch I had yogurt and a breadstick and a caramel-chocolate cookie from a package that Mom and Dad brought. And one of Mary's Skittles, but only one so far!

This is ironic...

So I'll confess right off I have this weird habit of checking the obits from the local paper where I grew up just to see if anyone I know or my dad knew passed away. I do this about 2-3 times a month. I was rolling through October when this one caught me eye (Skim through to the "survived by" part):

Harold R. "Hack" Spangler, 85, died peacefully at 5:05 a.m. Thursday, September 28, 2006, at the Hanover Hospital. He was the loving husband of Romaine E. (Sterner) Spangler, to whom he was married for 67 years. Born December 18, 1920, in Spring Grove, he was the son of the late Guy and Julia (Cline) Spangler. Mr. Spangler was a member of Zion United Church of Christ of Spring Grove but faithfully attended St. Paul's Lutheran Church, Broadway of Hanover for 70 years. He was also a member of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks 763, Hanover. Hack was a veteran of the United States Army, having served during World War II. He retired from Doubleday of Hanover, now known as Yes Solutions, after 37 years as a supervisor. Hack was a well known local craftsman, painter and artist. Reminders of his talents can be seen throughout the area. In addition to his loving wife, Romaine, Hack is survived by four daughters, Jeanne Bollinger and her husband ,Ron of Spring Grove, JoyceWentz and her husband, Larry of Hanover, Julie Spangler and her friend, Nance Darr of Lititz, and Jill Fissel and her friend, Dave Loss of McSherrystown; six grandchildren, Rodney Bollinger of Florida, Andy Bollinger of Texas, Brian Wentz of Shrewsbury, Troy Wentz of Hanover, Robin Powers of Virginia Beach, Va,. and Katie Angel of McSherrystown; nine great-grandchildren; one great-great-grandchild; and a sister, Geraldine Schuman and her husband, Richard of Hanover. He was preceded in death by a sister, Laura "Honey" Groft. Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Monday, October 2, 2006, at St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 1214 Broadway, Hanover, with the Rev. David L. DeLong officiating. Burial will be in Rest Haven Cemetery, Hanover. The family will receive friends from 4 to 6 p.m. Sunday at the Kenworthy Funeral Home, Inc., 269 Frederick St., Hanover, and from 10 to 11 a.m. Monday at the church. The family suggests that contributions may be made in Harold's name to St.Paul's Lutheran Church, 1214 Broadway, Hanover, PA 17331. Published in the Evening Sun

So how weird is it that there's another chick out there with my name AND the fact that she's a lesbian? I wonder how many people I went to HS with are like "Man, I never knew!" Just FYI--this fellow isn't even related to my family.

Yesterday was Tuesday, wasn't it...

I worked from home on Monday, so that was like having an extra weekend day even though it really wasn't, so today is my Tuesday. But I didn't weigh myself. I was running late this morning and was all out of sorts. Then I got to work and I am soooo aggravated with a few of the guys I work with that I have to rely on for various things, but they keep dropping the ball and it just pisses me off. I am very annoyed right now.

I have not been exercising because I am so consumed with school and work, and my eating hasn't been great but the quantity has been under control so I haven't paid the price in weight gain, I'm just not losing either.

I have been reading the blog, but I just don't have much to say right now. I will do better. That is my goal for this week.

Um, I forget!

I had a dentist appointment at 8 am this morning so I totally forgot about its being Tuesday until now -- I've hardly been around today, and when I was home I was homeschooling and didn't get on the computer. I did weigh myself but I don't remember what it was. 139 or 139.5, I think. I'll weigh again tomorrow and post it for real.

I keep checking the blog but I don't post much -- I also have completely dropped off my October board. School is MUCH worse this year than it was last year, in terms of how much of my time it takes. And I thought driving to preschool took time!

This weekend I did aerobics on Saturday and went for a walk on Sunday, but yesterday and today I've been a lump. The 5k is this weekend and I am NOT in shape! Tomorrow I'm going to go running. For real.

My eating has been the same as ever -- not great but not terrible. Needs work.

DITTO

I get tired of checking the blog and having just me out there. Luckily Sarah is too!!! How is it that we all managed to post daily back in the beginning - and now, if we get one post a week (month? quarter?) from everyone that is a lot!! I know we all have daily computer access - and a post just takes a few minutes to compose.

Mom - I know you read the blog - POST! You are the one who was so motivated at the beach. Katie - Emily gave us instructions on receiving our blog posts via email - see if you can get that to work - or check it daily when you get home!!! Julie! You, of all the bloggers, I never expected to disappear. I know things are busy for you right now... but we would still like to hear from you!!!

OK - I had Chilis for lunch... a split order of Southwestern egg rolls, french fries, and part of a chicken caesar pita. NOW - I am drinking a Coke. I think I will blame all of you for my failings. I need the support!!!!

Where IS everyone?

This is like the Amy and Sarah show here recently! And we're not even very interesting. Plus, I know *I* stick to my goals a lot better if I think more people are watching. I want everyone to come out of the woodwork and start posting--that includes Katie and Mom as well as Julie and Emily. We agreed to no quitting, didn't we?

157,480,314,960.62994

Microinches, that is. Not my weight. That was the distance I ran yesterday. It was such a beautiful day that when I went to the gym all I did was get changed and then I went out to the track. I've never run there before and all I knew was that it was a 400 meter track. I did four laps running, one walking, then four and one again. When I got back to the office, I checked one of the conversion tables and found out that 4000 meters is almost exactly 2.5 miles, but is also 157+ billion microinches. Does anyone have any idea what a microinch is? The other thing I learned from that run is that 5 to 5.5. m.p.h. on a treadmill feels like a nice steady pace. On a track it feels like I'm moving in slow motion, so instead of 11 to 12 minute miles, I was doing four laps in about ten minutes, which sounds great except that it was KILLING me (thus the walking laps). I'm always amazed at how much more difficult it is to run outside rather than inside. This wasn't even hilly (obviously) but things like wind resistance, the faster speed, and mostly that there wasn't a treadmill doing half the work make it so much harder! Clearly I need to run on the track more often. Oh, and that beautiful day wasn't nearly so beautiful after about two minutes of running with the sun beating down on me and me dressed in long pants and a cotton shirt!

My weight, frustratingly, was 134.2 this morning. .2 pounds down from last week. After all that exercise, all I lost was .2 pounds. Even worse, after being in the 131 to 133 range every single day all week except yesterday, my weigh-in day weight was pretty much no change. Ugh. See, maybe I should have gone with one of my higher weights last week so I could claim a loss this week! Oh, the other weird thing is that last Tuesday was the only day I got wildly different weights during the same weighing session. Ever since then, what I weight is what I weight with no fluctuation. Today I even weighed the same before and after my shower.

Up - but not too badly

I say that because I have been at 211.2 since late last week. I was 209.6. It was enough of a drop that I weighed myself three times before I believed it. 209.6 is less than a pound up from where I was last weigh-in day - which I guess isn't too terrible.

Last night Katie and I made pumpkin beads. We saw some at the bead fest and thought that we could do that - so we did. They turned out pretty cute, but I have the need to perfect the technique now.

I am leaving for San Antonio on Thursday. I am very annoyed because we had a plan to all go together from TESSCO to the airport, and then find our own ways home on Sunday - the idea being it is easier to hitch a ride on Sunday than on Thursday mid morning (my flight leaves at 11:15). Anyway - NOW, two of the other people made plans together leaving the other two of us high and dry. I guess I COULD drive and leave my car in long term parking - but I hate to do that for multiple reasons - mostly because it is hard to predict the travel time of getting TO the airport. Kristy is at a seminar on Thursday morning - otherwise I would get her to drive me. I need some ideas. GRRRRR.

Eeek!

I didn't like my weight at all this morning. It was fine on the weekend (133.4 on Saturday, 133 even on Sunday) but back up to 134.6 this morning! I *did* eat too much on the weekend--I made roast chicken with mashed potatoes, stuffing, and carrots on Saturday, then bow tie pasta with pesto on Sunday so I ate more than I usually do at dinner. Breakfast and lunch was normal both days, but I also baked brownies on Saturday and ate probably five of them between Saturday and Sunday, and then yesterday I also gave into my biggest downfall of the season--candy corn. Sheesh. I've been avoiding it since it showed up in the stores a month ago, but I was killing time at Wal Mart while Claire was in CCD and I ended up getting a bag of it (along with a new book) and then I sat and read and snacked in the car until CCD was over.

Exercise on the weekend was only walking Davey, but after working out each day last week I was o.k. with taking the weekend off, although after overeating both days I probably *should* have run a 10K each day!

I am SO FAT

My weight yesterday was 211.2. It was the same today - but then after my shower it was 210 - which seemed like a lot of weight to lose in the shower - so I weighed myself again and it came up 211.4. I decided to stick with the 211.2 and stop weighing myself obsessively.

I thought about doing yoga last night - but instead I watched 5 episodes of Gilmore Girls. I read bad reviews about season 6, but so far I am enjoying it. I am now just under halfway in. I therefore didn't exercise at all this weekend - unless you count the several hours of wandering around the bead fest on Saturday... on a cement floor. My feet and legs were sore by the end - but I don't think it did me any good.

Food has been neutral. Katie hasn't been around much so I have been on my own a lot for food - which means I am back to my popcorn and soup meals. Not good. We did have chicken and aspargus risotto on Saturday for dinner. But I had a big bakery muffin for breakfast (on the road to Harrisburg) and Katie and I split a tuna wrap and pasta salad for lunch.

Yesterday I had a fried egg sandwich - BAD BAD I know - for "brunch" and then that BBQ chicken pizza for Linner. I stole some of Laura's Terrachips late last night and made Koolaid because I was dehydrated.

I have noticed the snacking instead of smoking syndrom. I find myself wandering around the house saying "what can I eat" when I would normally pop out and have a cigarette. I have to get some gum to see if that helps with the oral cravings. I don't know if it will becuase it isn't just oral - it is HAND to MOUTH thing-y. Sigh. I haven't slipped up yet - although I came close Friday night on my way home from work. Luckily Sarah called just when I was at the giving myself permission point.

I so didn't want to do that!

But I went to the gym anyway. I had a meeting all morning that finished up with a big lunch (I had a turkey sandwich and a salad, but then ate a bunch of Hershey's kisses and two mini candy bars) and the last thing I wanted to do was go out in the rain at 3:00 on Friday and trudge to the gym. But I forced myself to do it so I wouldn't break my streak, and as always it wasn't so bad once I was there. At least I didn't knock off the emergency stop thing this time. I ran three miles in almost exactly 34 minutes. Not great (I increased speed from 5 mph to 5.5 mph throughout the run) but at least I know I can improve from there. Just a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have been able to maintain a speed of 5.5 mph for 15 minutes. So my next goal is to do a steady 5.5 for 30 - 35 minutes. And now, having exercised five days in a row, I get to take the weekend off!

It doesn't take much

If you feel bad - even mildly so - it is even HARDER to exercise than normal - so Emily, I feel for you! I have been having that sore throat, achy muscle, head achy thing going on too. By the time I get home from work the LAST thing I want to do is exercise.

I ordered a treadmill - http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?cat=Fitness&pid=00624645000&vertical=FIT&subcat=Treadmills&BV_UseBVCookie=Yes

I don't know if that link works - but I tried it out yesterday - along with a few others - and I liked it fine. It is being delivered, Wednesday 10/18. I have to re-arrange my whole house between now and then. Sigh. Actually I would like to re-arrange my whole bedroom. I have been thinking that for a while. Maybe I can do it in between the trip to San Antonio, the Bead Fest this weekend, working next Wednesday, and stuff. Surrrrrrrrrre. I can do that!

My weight was up again this morning. I was 211.2. Sigh. The last time I quit smoking I gained 8 pounds and kept them. I was at MY LOWEST POINT and then I quit and went up to the 208-210 range and have held pretty steady there ever since.

I haven't been working at this in several months. Ever since I talked to my doctor about my non-weight loss... or maybe even before that - I had mentally given up. I still try to eat well, and to not over eat, but I am not practicing the strict diet I had been for the first six to nine months of this diet. And - while my exercise is WAY better than it was a year ago, I am sporadic at best. I usually try to get a FEW exercise sessions in - maybe two a week - sometimes more, sometimes less - but consistently, I am bad. I really wanted to be VERY GOOD leading up to the doctors appointment (which is on Nov 1st) but so far I haven't been.

Quitting smoking HAS caused some issues, I have found myself craving salty snack foods, and giving in to those cravings... I just ate some Smartfood popcorn instead of my V-8 or cottage cheese. I do know that nicotine DOES aid your metabolism, and ironically maybe, my string of ongoing weight gain over the past several years, stalled at the 210 point JUST when I started smoking. Coincidence? I think not! Or maybe it is... what do I know?

I expected a weight correction this morning

But instead my weight was down again, to 131.8. This can't last, and I'll be so disappointed when it goes back up (probably just in time for weigh-in day next week!), even knowing that the reading is probably inaccurate.

Yesterday--boring. Pilates in the evening, so as long as I get to the gym today I've met my goal for exercise for the week. Breakfast and lunch were the same as always, but while shopping during my lunch break, I indulged in a Chocolixir at Godiava. Has anyone heard of these? I don't even know what's in it. It's a frozen blended chocolate drink. I got "dark chocolate decadence" and when they asked me if I wanted whipped cream on it, of course I said yes. I tried looking up the nutritional information later but couldn't find anything. Lots of calories, I know that. But isn't dark chocolate full of antioxidants and stuff? So it's good for me? Maybe? Anyway, that kept me full all afternoon. I ate some raisins late in the afternoon, then dinner was half a broiled chicken breast, noodles, and zucchini. And I don't think I ate anything after that. How amazing is that?

I hope you feel better soon, Emily!

Feeling rotten

That pretty much sums up my week so far. I drank too much on Tuesday night -- I had three smallish (I thought) glasses of wine at the dinner and then followed it up with a beer back in our hotel room while we watched a video. This was spread out over five hours but I woke up the next morning feeling hungover, which is no fun when I didn't get to feel like I'd had some tremendous good time to begin with! Ick. So I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink since then. In any case, that was an awful lot of unnecessary calories on Tuesday.

Wednesday was worse in terms of unnecessary calories -- we did eat at the Mean Bean for lunch, which mean bean and spinach burritos and not that much cheese, though they're huge, but I had lemonade to drink with lunch -- totally empty calories. And for dinner we went to a Japanese steakhouse, which guarantees way too much food -- I probably had my whole day's calories in that one meal. On Wednesday my exercise was suspect, too; we went to a park to walk around and the kids and I were all on foot, so I had to go mostly at their pace, which meant a lot of stopping to throw things in water and watch the ducks. Fun but not terribly aerobic. I was holding Cecilia in my arms for most of it, so at least it required a little more effort than watching TV. And it helped me shake the last of the hangover, but by then it was clear I was coming down with something and wasn't just hungover.

Today I woke up with a raging sore throat and a headache that got worse as the day went on, until we finally got home around 4 and I could dig out the ibuprofin, which helped with both the headache and the sore throat. But feeling so terrible meant I had no exercise whatsoever, not even the lame walking of yesterday or the lame dancing around the room of Tuesday. And food was appalling -- I had three (!!) Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast (Hot Doughnuts Now -- we don't have a real place here, just grocery store boxes of them, and it's not the same), a Chick-fil-a Caesar Cool Wrap for lunch (with only about half the dressing, and I had water to drink) and a couple of barbecue chicken strips, and two small slices of margarined french bread, for dinner around 9:00 when I realized I'd forgotten to eat dinner. What a weird day. I also had snacks of pretzels and goldfish today, but not a huge number of either.

Tomorrow I hope to find time to exercise, but Daniel's schedule has suddenly become alarmingly crowded for the next week, so it's either going to be walking or dancing around to the iPod (Sarah, it's a 4GB Nano, in silver, with my name engraved) again, and not running, as I'd hoped. I also have some Stampin' Up tomorrow night (just a regular activity night, nothing that brings in business) which means the schedule will definitely be tight. But now that we're home I can at least hope to eat reasonably well.

I've decided to buy only Skittles and Gummy Savers for Halloween. They are the kids' favorite, and they're fat free, and I don't eat myself sick on them.

And Another Thing

My weight was 210.6 ACK today. I officially quit smoking yesterday, so I will blame my snacking and weight gain on that. Actually, I had two and a half cigarettes on Tuesday - which is about half what I normally smoke, so I half stopped on Tuesday. I don't know what my issues are? If I smoke seven cigarettes a day - that is a big day for me. Normal for me is five. Why is it so hard to give those five up? One in the morning, one at work, one on the way home, one after dinner and one before bed. Yup - five. I sometimes will have a second at work - or another in the evening - but five is typical. On the days I don't go anywhere, I often won't smoke at all until late afternoon. I don't FEEL like I need them, but I hate the whole not being allowed to have one when I think of it. I don't LIKE to smoke - OK, well, yeah I do sort of... I don't like the taste, I don't like the ash on me, I don't like the smell. I DO like the burning thing, and the relaxing affect, but I don't know if that is the whole taking a break and breathing deeply or the drug that I am breathing in. I don't tend to get crabby when I quit - unless I am also PMS-y.

I'm here too!

I was the opposite of you (Sarah) last night. I didn't do a darn bit of exercise (aside from looking at my bedroom and deciding that yes, a treadmill WOULD fit in nicely) and I snacked on a yogurt with chocolate chips, and TWO Caribou bars. I ate a heathy dinner of Turkey sausage with tomato sauce and spinach - which left me very full, but that didn't stop me from snacking. I took a long bath where I read my new Nora Roberts book. Then I went to bed early (11pm-ish). Earlier in the day I was very bad again - I had a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, no lunch really, and then goldfish crackers all afternoon. So the only healthy thing I DID have was dinner. Oh - I also had a large iced caramel macciato from Starbucks that I think they neglected to make skim, but I can't remember if I ordered skim, so that may be my fault, not theirs. That is a lot of extra calories for something that isn't THAT much improved by the extra calories. I went to Target yesterday afternoon (thus the goldfish crackers) and bought a 4 pack of Jones Monster Mohito soda. I am hoping it is lime rather than mint flavored - or maybe a combo. I love the weird flavors Jones comes up with - but luckily I don't drink much soda. I also got season 6 of Gilmore Girls. If I get a treadmill soon I can walk my way through that whole thing.

I want to pull EVERY crumb of paper crafting stuff out of my room(s), put it in a big pile in the living room and sort through it all. Can Connor come over to help? Just kidding. 8-) I do want to do that though. I think I want to start that tonight, so it will be underway by the weekend - so I won't avoid doing it JUST because we are going to a bead making convention on Saturday.

I ate grapes.

How about if I just monopolize the blog? Is everyone OK with that?

Yesterday after running a bazillion miles and eating a mere 130 calories of junk food instead of 150 calories of yogurt, I came home starving and did NOT eat cookies. I took a bunch of grapes with me to Claire's swimming lesson (hard to pig out when you aren't at home) and had them tide me over until dinner (ravioli again). I had one cookie for dessert, walked Davey two miles, then came home and shared a bag of popcorn with Brian. All in all, not a bad day.

This morning I was 132.2, but I doubt that will hold! No one loses over two pounds in two days for real! I suspect it was mostly water weight I lost from sweating so much yesterday. I stayed hydrated well enough, but probably didn't take in as much as I lost.

I'm so irritated with myself!

I'm just back from the gym. I had decided to increase the time of my workout by five minutes. Normally I run for 30 minutes, cool down for five, and range the speed of my running from 4.8 m.p.h., up to 5, then 5.2 or 5.3, then a short time at 5.5 and back down to 5 before the cool down. This time I set it for starting with 10 minutes at 5 m.p.h., then 5.3 for another ten minutes, then 5.5 for the final 15 (or until I could take it no longer). So I was trucking along and at 16 minutes and 40 seconds, I knocked the stupid emergency stop button off! It erased all of my settings so I have NO idea what distance I had covered at that point or how many calories I had burned. So I started it up again, set it for 20 minutes (because I couldn't do the math in that split second to figure out I needed an additional 18 minutes and 20 seconds), ran for 7 minutes at 5.3 m.p.h. and then did the rest of the time at 5.5. So it ended up being a slightly longer workout than I had planned, but a slightly shorter time at 5.5 m.p.h. But what irritates me is just not knowing at what point I passed the 3 mile mark (or the 3.3 mark) and also my total calories burned (since any "extra" over 300 I can eat in Hershey's kisses, right?).

Speaking of which, I came back from the gym, went to deliver some stuff to a woman in another office, and came away with two Kisses and a bag (80 calories) of potato chips. They are gone now. I'm telling myself this is o.k. because it's actually fewer calories than the yogurt I had planned to eat, but let's not discuss nutritional value, o.k.?

Still

I was 208.8 AGAIN today. Katie and I had an all vegetarian dinner last night. Spinach, tomato and cheese ravioli, acorn squash, and creamed spinach for dinner. I then polished off the remainder of the cinnamon nuts I got on Sunday. Sheesh! They were making me sick - but now they are gone.

I was looking - more actively this time - at treadmills again. Julie - what kind did you get? I am looking at the Proform 550s from Sears. I think I can make it fit in my bed room - or even the sewing room if Katie prefers that - with only having to get rid of one junky dresser (that I use to store fabric scraps - EXPENDABLE!) I think if I use it three days a week for a year I will be ahead of where I am now with my gym membership. If Katie ALSO uses it, it is even a better deal! It is currently on sale throug Oct 7th, but I don't know if I will have the money for it by then. I don't know...

Why isn't today weigh-in day?

This morning I was 133.6--all four times I weighed myself! Man, life is unfair.

My goal this week is to exercise every weekday. I ran on Monday, did pilates yesterday, and have all my junk to get to the gym again today. Once I get into the habit, it's not so difficult to make myself do this stuff.

Yesterday I had lunch with an old college friend who has taken up participating in triathlons, so I asked her how she got into it. She started four years ago after giving birth to twins (babies four and five) and like us was just out of shape, overweight, and unhappy about that. So she started a walking program with the goal of building up to running. It took her a year till she could run the whole way. Then she did a "next step" program working on increasing her distance, and once she was finished with that she started participating in competitive runs, then joined a relay team for a triathlon, doing the running portion. And from there she just challenged herself to do all three stages. It was really motivating to talk to her--here she is with five kids and a PT job (she teaches at the college here) and SHE manages to find time to exercise/train regularly, so I should have no excuses.

Food yesterday wasn't stellar. Cereal for breakfast, almonds mid-morning, salad, pretzles, and cottage cheese and fruit for lunch, raisins right after lunch because I was still hungry, and then a muffin in the afternoon because I was *really* hungry and it was sitting around (that was about 240 calories I didn't really need), four (yikes!) chocolate chip cookies after work because I was still really hungry, chicken and dumplings for dinner (tiny serving because I thought it was gross--too watery and too many onions), and grapes for an evening snack. At least that was a healthy choice. Has *anyone* figured out a good way to deal with that time of day between work and dinner when you are starving and just need to eat whatever you can find as quickly as possible? That's always when I overeat junk.

The power of peer pressure

I logged on earlier to check the blog. Daniel and I and the kids are in Georgia for a UGA Chemistry Alumni dinner, and I was about to use today's drive as an excuse -- but I had about two hours of down time and was just wimping out. After I read about how well Sarah has been running, I decided I really needed to get moving. I got an iPod for my birthday, so while the kids were watching TV I put it on and listened to music and marched around (actually, mostly skipped) for about 20 minutes -- it would have been longer but I had to help the kids get bathed. After the kids' baths I even did crunches. Since I also ran 5k yesterday (very, very slowly) I have accomplished two days of exercise thus far this week!

My weight was 139.5 today -- nothing great, but still below the awfulness of 140. (Funny that 140 is awful -- at the beginning of the year it would have been fabulous.) We have our St. Mary's Light the Fire 5k next Saturday, so I need to keep working out over the next week and a half or I'll make a very sorry showing. Daniel's in better shape -- he's down to about 28 minutes for the run. Mine was over 32, I think, when just a few months ago I was also around 28! I think most of it's mental.

I didn't do myself any favors tonight at the dinner. I had three glasses of wine and my teeny salad had a lot of dressing. But I didn't really overdo the rest of the food, so it could have been worse. I had a Frescatta for lunch (turkey sandwich with basil pesto, probably not low-fat, but way better than cheeseburger and fries) and a cereal bar for breakfast, and for snacks I had goldfish crackers, a handful of pretzels, three or four graham cracker squares (car food for the kids), a peppermint, and a couple of slices of chocolate orange. And some coffee -- isn't black coffee negative calories? I don't normally do caffeine so for me it probably is. So my eating is not fabulous.

Tomorrow we'll still be in Athens so I'll try to get some more walking in. I should try to go running but I didn't bring my running shorts, figuring that I'd be lucky to get Daniel away from the CCQC for long enough anyway. It will be restaurant food all day tomorrow, so I'd really better walk everywhere. No forward progress of late, but at least it's not totally backwards.

You get your pick of weights today

I'm going with 134.4. Not only was it my lowest weight this morning, but it was the one I got twice. But when I first stepped on the scale, I was 135.2, then I reweighed myself at 134.6, then I got 134.4 (mind you, this was all within a one minute period), then 134.4 again, so I put away the scale. Then out of curiosity, I pulled it out again and got 136.2(!). And after my shower I got 135.4. Maybe it's time for a new battery, although it seems to respond as quickly as ever (that is, the display isn't weak and it doesn't take forever to get a reading like you'd expect).

Anyway, even the 134.4 is disappointing. I exercised almost as much last week as I ever did at any point this year (went to the gym three times including yesterday, walked quite a bit on other days, but only did pilates once) and although I didn't eat as little as I used to, I only ate in moderation each day and didn't snack mindlessly any day. My only day of indulgence was Sunday at the Ren Fest where I had three drinks, a cheesecake onna stick, two pieces of fried cheese, and half an order of french fries. But that was pretty much ALL I had that day--coffee in the morning and three ravioli for dinner and nothing else. Sigh.

But what else can I do but stick with it? It's not like 134.4 is a horrible weight at all; I just like it closer to 130! I did notice this past week that getting to the gym is getting a little easier mentally. It's hard to re-start a habit, but by yesterday I didn't even hesitate or consider other options--I just picked up my bag and walked over there in the afternoon. And I'm increasing my speed, which is good. Still not at all what I'd like it to be, but I can hold steady at 5.3 to 5.5 m.p.h. for about 20 minutes.

Holding Steady

I had a bit of a weight spike yesterday since I drank too much and ate fried food on Sunday. I was at 210.4 then - but this morning I was back down to 208.8. This means I have held steady in the 208-9 range for over a week. And since that is down from the 209-210 from earlier in September - and the 210-211 range in August - I consider that progress.

I exercised last night. I actually only did one round of my work out because the exercise ball (that Katie very kindly inflated for me last night) is a little bit too squishy for me - and so I was not getting a great workout - and I will need to inflate it more tonight. I did extra crunches though.

I think my knees are shot. I thought it was funny that the trainer was so impressed by my noisy knees, but since then (last Wednesday) I have noticed that the grinding noise in my knees HAS gotten worse in the past year or so, and there IS pain - just not constant pain (usually when I stand or sit there is a twinge at first) so I tend to ignore it. I officially hate getting old!