Slug Mode

I have definitely been in slug mode the past two days. I am claiming that I have a mild virus - but I am not sure if that is true. I have done NOTHING but creep about the house, reading, napping and intermittently wrapping Christmas presents - and cleaning, in very short bursts. I have had a horrible headache that water, caffeine and Advil haven't touched - I also keep getting those weird fever sweats, but I don't seem to have a fever when I take my temperature - so maybe I am just getting hot flashes. It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility.

I was supposed to go to a party at Kristy's last night, but I really just didn't feel up to it. So I stayed home. I haven't eaten ANYTHING healthy - mostly just a few cookies. I made poached eggs for dinner last night, and I had a pear today.

I am now going to look for something to eat - and maybe I will clean out the refrigerator at the same time. Exciting life, huh?

Is this Saturday?

I've been messed up all day.  I keep thinking it's Sunday.  But I know it's Saturday because Daniel went out for a long run today, and he usually reserves those for Saturdays.  He actually ran 11 miles -- all the way to the end of the Huckleberry and back -- which is the longest he has ever run.  And he came home and said he could have done it either faster or further, so I'm pretty durn proud of him. ;-)

I went to the gym Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, but today I didn't have a reservation (they only have childcare in the mornings on Saturdays anyway) so I just did a 30 minute WAtP, which was totally wimpy.  It was the walk/jog one so it wasn't as wimpy as it COULD have been, but the workout just doesn't do it for me anymore.  But it felt better than sitting around doing nothing.

Overeating

I expected to eat too much on Christmas, but I haven't been able to STOP eating since then!  My meals have been fine -- normal portion sizes and some restraint there -- but my snacking is out of control.  The candy from  my stocking is quite moderate and if I'd stuck to that I'd be maintaining my restraint.  But there is candy all over the house and I'm eating it even when I don't really want it much.  And last night Daniel and I together ate most of a bag of pistachios -- which aren't too bad in moderation, but when they start to make your lips shrivel you know you've had too many.  So today I am trying to have fresh resolve.  So far it has only gone OK; I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch, but I ate two of Daniel's mother's turtles this morning and a slice of chocolate orange after lunch.  If I keep it to that level I might just get by, but we'll see.

I completely missed exercise on Tuesday and only did crunches on Sunday and Monday, so by Wednesday I was getting antsy.  So on Wednesday and Thursday I went to the gym, and today I have an appointment again.  I'm not sure what I'll manage next week; I may have to bring WAtP with me just to have something.  It's getting so I hate to miss exercise for more than a day! 

Intuitive Eating

I was reading the book Intuitive Eating last night. This should be required reading for all of us on this blog. I only read one chapter last night - but SO much of it struck home. A lot of it was about how and why dieting doesn't really work - and how many of us who are chronic dieters, diet even when we don't mean to. I kept finding passages that I wanted to quote on this blog - until I realized that I would basically be typing the whole book over.

Supposedly what this book helps to do is re-set our thinking, pay more attention to the signals our bodies give and respond to the needs and wants of our bodies - rather than what we THINK we should need or want.

The chapter last night addressed a lot of what we fear will happen if we give up "dieting." 1. I will be out of control and eat everything in sight. 2. I will gain back every pound I ever lost. 3. I will never make healthy choices. etc. It also talked about our knee jerk responses. Like in MY case - I was reading this thinking "I will do the Ultra-metabolism diet right after New Years and then switch to intuitive eating at that point." I turned the page and there was a section about "last chance dieting." Chronic dieters always want to try one more diet before they give it up for intuitive eating.

I think intuitive eating is harder for me because there is no one telling me what to do. I want a schedule and rules to follow - but this book says that is precisely what needs to be fixed. I have to do what MY body needs and not what someone else (who has never met me) says that my body SHOULD be doing.

Anyway - I am eager to see how this all plays out. I have been much better about not eating something just because it is there. On Christmas (before I ate all the candy that night) I wasn't feeling like I wanted to eat candy. I was fine with the one Hershey's kiss that I had.

So my weight was 228.6 today. Oh - another thing I am not supposed to be doing - weighing myself everyday. I know that I didn't lose 1.4 pounds overnight. I lost water (at best). My calories were slightly lower yesterday - but not 750 calories lower (I don't think anyway...). I weigh myself mostly for the statistics of it. I like charts.

Skim Vanilla Latte

So I had my first plain skim latte last night. When I went to record it on TDP I discovered that the vanilla flavor adds a whopping 25 calories to the whole shooting match. In which case I will suck up (literally!) the extra 25 calories and have the coffee taste yummier!

Yesterday my exercise was putting up the Christmas tree - AGAIN! I came home from giving blood and grocery shopping to find Laura swinging from the Christmas tree. It had - apparently - fallen down while she was wrapping presents in front of it. Luckily it was yesterday and not two days before!! Most of the presents were gone from under the tree - and only one of mine had gotten so wet that it needed to be unwrapped. But about 75% of the ornaments had come off - and the beads, lights and paper chains were in chaos. I got it more securely propped up against the cabinets and called Katie to come help. I love Laura, but she is one of the least "capable" people I know. Katie and I are pretty good at working in tandem. After much lifting, shifting, twisting, pushing, screwing, and cursing we decided that the tree was NOT going to go back into it's holder. So - we again propped the tree against the cabinets and went to Target to get a new tree stand. One tree skirt, one stocking, a pair of PJs, and tow printer ink cartridges later we left, but with no tree stand. We tried Home Depot next. They had sold out two weeks prior. So we got a cheap bucket and a bag of rocks and went back home. The bucket didn't do it either... The bottom of the tree was cut at a sharp angle - so the tree was desperately trying to lean in the direction of the angle. So - we tied it up. We attached it to the curtain tie back and a nail that we put into the top of the door jam. That - FINALLY - did the trick. We then took off the remnants of the paper chain and beads. Fixed the disarrayed lights and put everything back on. When we finally finished (around 9:30pm - about 6 or 7 hours after it fell...) we agreed that it looked better than it had originally - shorter - and we like the new tree skirt. 8-)

I ordered a new tree stand. Cast Iron. 22 pounds. It looks like a snowflake - only red.

So that pretty much filled my day. I had (originally) planned to go to the gym before I went to give blood - but the timing was bad. I wouldn't have been able to eat before going to the Red Cross and I always am a little nervous that my iron count isn't going to be high enough anyway. So I decided that it would be fine if I did it afterwards (I mean, walking isn't STRENUOUS exercise anyway). I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from giving blood and needed to put the frozen food and milk in the refrigerator. I really intended it to be in the door and out again in less than 5 minutes - but you know the saying about rodents making plans and all. So I didn't make it to the gym - and my back is STILL hurting today from the tree acrobatics(although Katie did all of the floor work - I really was just the tree holder person).

My weight this morning was UP - in spite of me having drained off a full pound -to 230! I think I must have eaten too much salt maybe... My period did start late on Christmas night - so maybe that is what I am showing now. I hope it won't stay... I have to start keeping better track of the water I am drinking to make sure I am getting enough - but I am pretty sure I did yesterday since I always drink a lot before I give blood.

Ho boy - did I BLOW it!

I was doing so good yesterday! I had only had one Hershey special dark kiss - and one cookie. I ate reasonably at dinner. I was actually pretty pleased with me.

THEN - I came home and was reading before I went to bed an proceeded to eat 9 Hershey kisses (various flavors), 4 peppermint nougats, 2 Peppermint Patties, and 3 Rolos. Oh! And the chocolate covered pretzels that were in my stocking. That pushed me about 200 calories beyond what my calorie level was. Then today (when I was adding all of the candy in) I remembered that I had egg nog with rum also. THAT really did me in. And I had to add the coffee with creamer I had in the morning (about 40 calories - no too bad) and just now I remembered that I had two glasses of wine - one with dinner and one after. Sigh. Yeah - so I was REALLY beyond my calories yesterday.

To make up for it I am giving blood today. A pint? That weighs a pound right? So I should be down tomorrow... Actually my weight today was 229.4 - which is slightly down from my last weight (229.8) but I can't remember if that was yesterday or on Monday - and it is absolutely right in line with what I HAVE been weighing.

I am really scared to death to drop my calorie level again. That is what BOTH of the nutritionist I have met with have said has screwed me up (at least in part). While I know I am perfectly able to eat 1200 calories or less, Rebecca (the current nutritionist) and Jennifer (the previous nutritionist) both said that my body is very good at adapting. My history of dieting has show this too. I really need to figure out a way to get my metabolism working at a more effective rate. 1700 calories really SHOULD be leading to weight loss in someone my size and Rebecca said that she didn't want me going below 1800 calories - so it is already below what I should be doing. I think I need to start eating BETTER food choices. I have been sticking within my calorie level easily - but I have been eating a lot of carbs and not enough fruits and vegetables. I already have switched my coffee to skim milk and no sugar - but my afternoon coffee I still get with the vanilla flavor - which is ALL sugar I think. I am going to try plain skim lattes instead of the vanilla latte and see if I like it all right. Lattes are my only source of milk at this point in my life - so I don't feel too guilty about them. I also have gone almost entirely to whole grains. I do need to get back to the gluten free stuff. Rebecca also said that I won't show much improvement from a gluten free diet until I have been doing it for a month or two - after my digestive tract has had a chance to heal. She said that if you have a gluten sensitivity, the GI tract gets irritated and inflamed and needs to recover completely before it starts working effectively again.

I am also going to read the Ultra metabolism book. I know cinnamon and cayenne pepper help jump start your metabolism - and I am sure there are foods that do it too. As long as it isn't the bitter greens (kale, chard, and the like) which make me gag I can probably enhance my diet.


So - these are my partial new years resolutions. That and to learn to make sushi. That is gluten free. Last years resolution (learn to run) has been partially achieved. I can't run like Emily and Sarah can - but I DO run in spasmodic bursts when I am walking. It is easier on my shins and sometimes you just CAN'T walk that fast. Luckily my legs are long - so usually I CAN walk that fast. 8-)

Happy Christmas!!!

I thought I would be the only one online today... We are in the in between phase between Christmas morning and Christmas dinner. I just made my salad for tonight, and am trying to resist taking a nap. I would really LIKE a nap - but I a) don't have enough time to do it justice just now, and b) Katie and I lit a fire in the fireplace on the deck. Katie and Charles went to pick up Lex about two hours ago, and Laura left to do her family Christmas thing shortly after that. So - it is just me to keep the home fires from NOT burning down the home... so to speak. It probably is perfectly fine on it's own, but I know that is exactly WHEN fires burn down the house!! We lit it at about noon-ish, maybe sooner. The box says that it would burn up to three hours (Duraflame log) but that was OVER three hours ago - and it still seems to be burning very throughly. I am not sure what I will do if it is STILL burning in another hour... That would really be pushing it to make it to dinner on time.

I didn't exercise yesterday. I know it wasn't supposed to be part of the 12 days of Fitness, on purpose - but I still hoped to get some in. However, with grocery shopping, last minute gift wrapping, mass starting at 4pm - and getting to the church at three - and the Christmas Eve activities - that really left no time to exercise. I SHOULD have done some while I was killing time not taking a nap - but I cleaned the glass doors and finished listening to A Breath of Snow and Ashes. Boo-Hoo!! I am all done with them now! This has filled my listening time for the last six months! I am going to miss Davina Porter and all of Claire and Jamie's peeps! Diana better get scurrying on the next one. She said she should haven it finished by the end of 2008 - but didn't know when it would be published. Sigh. I may have to start over with Outlander. I DO have three Lord John's - no, wait - FOUR - in audio format - but they are only between two and eight hours long. I will work my way through them first. Then I also downloaded two Anne Perry novels that Davina Porter also read - so I will do them next. But they won't take me any farther then February probably - what with my excursion to Fraiser's Ridge to learn to play the banjo next month. (Not really Fraiser's Ridge - but back country North Carolina none- the-less.

Anyway - I am going to take a quick shower (praying that the house doesn't burn down while I am doing it!!) (As an aside - I was sitting watching the fire on my deck listening to Jamie's and Claire's house burn down just about an hour ago...) before I get ready for dinner to night.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas!!

It's Tuesday so I actually paid attention when I weighed myself today.  I was 134.5!  So I'm under my goal weight on an official day.  Truth be told, I haven't seen especially low weights all week, and I'm pretty sure this weight is just because I've had virtually no water (and very little food) over the last two days.  But dinner last night was heavy (lasagna and garlic bread) so I expected a jump back up.  I'm certainly not complaining.  Now, to KEEP this weight for longer than three weeks will be a herculean effort.  (Especially since Santa put Dove chocolates, a Lindt dark bar, and two chocolate oranges in my stocking -- and there's other yummy food all over the house.)

On the twelfth day of fitness

I really resented having to exercise. I was in the middle of wrapping presents - wanting to get them all done tonight, KNOWING I still needed to exercise. But I did it. 20 minutes of Yoga for Inflexible People. I need to get yoga blocks. That is what they use to help define and hold poses for people who can't quite reach (Like ME!)

Katie and I sent out for Chinese food tonight. It was very yummy - although, once I ate the egg drop soup (with corn) and a spring roll AND two crab wontons AND some of Katie's curry rice noodles with shrimp, I didn't have room for my moo-shu chicken... But, in true Chinese food fashion, I am feeling hungry again.

Like Emily, I have been in non stop motion since I got up this morning. We went to church last night - so I got started right away baking gingerbread men and linzertorte bars. From that I went immediately to Sarah's for cookie decorating then home for dinner and present wrapping. I had only done about six gifts prior to tonight, so it was a big chore. Back to wrapping presents now!!

On the twelfth day of fitness, the exercise for me...

was officially 100 crunches just now.  But I haven't stopped moving since about 11:00 this morning.  We went to church and then went to IHOP for breakfast (takes about the same amount of time as brunch at home, without the mess to clean up) and since then I've been cleaning, decorating, and wrapping presents.  I don't recall sitting down post-breakfast until dinner time.  So I'm sorry I wimped out on real exercise today but I just don't know how I would have fit it in!  I still have about a kazillion presents to wrap and there aren't bows on more than a handful of gifts yet, so I'm about to get back at it.  But at least I finished 12 days in a row of something.  I wouldn't have even done the crunches otherwise!

On the eleventh day of fitness, the exercise for me...

was a Buns of Steel video that I've had for at least a decade.  I was going to do Jane Fonda but I couldn't find it (it turned up while I was doing the toning section of the other video -- it was just on the wrong shelf, at eye level for crunches).  The aerobics section, 28 minutes, wasn't at all difficult, but I did work up a sweat and I got my heart moving a bit, so it's something.  The toning was easier than I remembered -- there were a bunch of crunches which turned out to be quite easy after all those I've been doing, and there were some leg/butt exercises that felt good but didn't wear me out.  I got dressed into my exercise clothes first thing in the morning because I knew once I got going on the day I wouldn't want to stop to work out, so I did the exercise right after breakfast.  Alas, unlike Amy, I did not see negative calories -- it wasn't a caloric enough workout!  Gardening burns more than aerobics and crunches!

My Eleventh day of Fitness

The exercise for me was gardening. I decided that since I had so much to do today I would do a useful exercise. I gave myself the option of walking to the liquor store to pick up two gifts or to tear up the garden and rake the back yard free of its smothering pine needles. I chose the gardening since there was no faster way of doing it and the trip to the liquor store COULD be accomplished much more quickly if I DROVE there instead.

I like fall gardening (winter, now I guess!) since you do get a good solid workout (both cardio and muscular depending on what you are doing...) but in the fall you have the added advantage of NOT sweating to death. Additionally you don't have to worry about if something is a real plant or a weed because EVERYTHING needs to go. AND - there are considerably fewer bugs.

Being that I did the exercise early in the day I was functioning on negative calories for a while. That is nice too. Sadly, it didn't last.

My tenth day of fitness (is that what we are on)

Was just 100 crunches at 11:30pm. I was exhausted and actually considered NOT exercising - but knew that wouldn't do - and so did the crunches.

I forgot to weigh myself this morning - so I don't know what my weight was. Probably 229-ish.

On the tenth day of fitness, the exercise for me...

was 40 minutes on the elliptical, plus 2 minutes of cool-down, and 100 crunches and 20 with my feet in the air and 10 with bicycling legs, and 40 pushups (20 full-length, but not consecutive), and a couple of the upper body machines because I've almost stopped using those entirely and I need to get back to muscle work.  I'm now out of gym appointments until next Thursday so I'm going to have to go back to getting creative with my workouts!  (I'm still a bit tender in my left calf from my last creative workout, ugh.)

Ninth day of fitness

It was another day from hell--up at 1:30 a.m. and Connor wouldn't let me doze on the sofa. Breakfast holiday party at work, grant deadline in the afternoon and all of the faculty have vanished for the break. Stayed up until 1 a.m. decluttering and trying to put the shelves in our built in bookcases. Not successfully. Stopped during that endeavor to do 50 crunches. That was my only exercise for the day.

I still haven't exercised today, and I haven't counted calories for a while. Today was a potluck lunch at work so again I ate too much. I just want Christmas to get here so I can stop preparing for it!

Calorie Thoughts

OK - TDP has me consuming about 1700 calories per day to lose 2 pounds per week. After playing around on their calculator I discovered that they see 500 calories per day to equal 1 pound per week. After tracking my calories on their website for over two weeks I have discovered that their 1700 calories maintains my current weight quite nicely. Since I was doing 1700 calories (ish - menu at 1300 allowing a 400 calorie buffer) on the Glucerna diet - and also maintainig my weight I have figured that my MAINTENANCE calorie level is 1700. So - using a 500 calorie per day/per pound I would have to eat 700 calories per day to lose 2 pounds per week (about 1% of my total weight which is what healthy diets are supposed to do). That would be one cup of coffee, a piece of dry toast, a bowl of soup, a banana, a small (undressed) salad (which would aggrivate my gut - maybe I should have steamed veggies) and a 300 calorie dinner. That is it. (Actually, that takes me over the daily allowance of 700 calories.) For variety I can have an egg for breakfast instead, I could skip the coffee and have 1/2 a pat of butter on my toast, I can switch the fruit to an orange or apple or whatever - which would leave a few calories to spare for a cup of coffee.

I don't think I can do this. I REALLY don't think I can do this for more than a week. Maybe I will do it for Lent. Maybe if I get into a habit I can actually stick with it. I don't know if I would be able to exercise on this amount of calories. Maybe a slow stroll on the treadmill. I am wildly curious though. I would like to know if at 700 calories I would lose weight. I think I will try it. I don't know when - maybe the first week of January (after all the junk of the holidays is gone...).

GASP - Nineth Day Fitness

Last night I decided I needed quick and dirty exercise because I was in the middle of getting stuff done. So I decided I would run up and down the stairs and lap around my kitchen/dining room/living room/hall. I intended to do 10 laps - but only completed 6. I thought I was going to die! I was breathing way hard - and gasping. It took me longer for my heart rate and breath to calm down than the exercise itself. How PATHETIC! It then also set me off coughing - which pretty much hasn't stopped yet (although it is much better now). I blamed part of this distress on the fact that I was wearing a turtleneck that was slightly too tight at the seam around the neck and a necklace that further compounded that. I did much better if I pulled the neck away from my throat. I blame MOST of my distress on this big fat butt that INSISTED on following me everywhere I went.

My all junk all the time actually didn't turn out too badly. After I posted yesterday I met Kristy for coffee, had grilled chicken with brown rice and a mango/raspberry sauce, then I ate one of the biscotti I was given. All told my calories were bad - but could have been much worse. I was kind of proud of myself because even though I gave myself permission to not say no yesterday - I actually didn't binge as much as I could have.

Katie and I are doing Let's Dish at lunchtime today. We haven't done it since July - we have been cooking more at home - but we are eager to have a variety back in our freezer today.

On the ninth day of fitness, the exercise for me...

was 45 minutes on the elliptical, 100 crunches, 50 more with legs raised, 50 push-ups (20 of them full-length), and about an hour of work in the garden pulling up and hacking down and raking aside dead stuff so it wouldn't look hideous all winter.  (And a partridge in a pear tree.)  I have so much to do to get ready for Christmas that I hated to spare the afternoon for the garden work, but the weather was absolutely gorgeous yesterday and I've been waiting for a day like that for weeks, so I couldn't pass it up.  We also went hunting for a tree yesterday and our usual place was sold out of the kind we like (no wonder, at 5 days until Christmas) so we had to do slightly more trekking than usual, though probably not enough to count as exercise -- it was just one of those running-around kind of days.  But we have a tree now. (And it's covered with snow, I suspect -- it's outside and it snowed last night!)  And I was back to 135 again this morning for the first time in eight days.

All junk all the time

Today was our team lunch/holiday party. It was early - 11am! - so I went very light on breakfast - 1 piece of toast with apple butter. I then was pretty good at lunch - green salad, grilled sea bass, grilled zucchini and garlic mashed potatoes. Water to drink. But I decided today would be my day to let myself eat the junk that has been piling up all week in our area - gourmet chocolates, nuts, shortbread cookies, candies, peanut brittle, etc. Even with my "permission" I have been pretty good. I ate one chocolate covered gooey thing, one piece of peanut brittle, several cinnamon cashews, and three bites of peanut butter cheesecake. So far anyway... I am drinking tea now to get the sweet out of my mouth. Kristy and I are also supposed to be meeting after work for coffee.

I spoke to Gloria (gym buddy) today. We agreed that we probably won't be able to plan gym trips between now and Christmas - not to say we won't GO, just we can't wait for each other necessarily.

Eighth day of fitness.

Would you believe I actually not only got to the gym, but tried a new exercise? They put in a stair climber machine a month or so ago and I've never seen anyone using it. So I hopped on it and tried it out. Now I know why no one uses it. It's like taking the stairs two at a time--you really have to extend to do the motion, and I didn't see any way of shortening up the stride. This was pretty tough going, and I have long legs! I can't imagine someone with shorter legs working on this machine. But added to the difficulty of the movement, it *hurt*--lots more actual muscle work because it really was like climbing stairs. My heart rate went up high right from the start and I had to cut back the difficulty level--I started it at 5 (on the elliptical and recumbant bikes I put the difficulty level at 9 or 10, so I figured 5 was a good starting point since I didn't know the machine), but ended up decreasing it down to 3 so my heart could keep up. But the calorie burn was terrible--it felt much worse than the treadmill or elliptical, where I can pretty reliably burn about 10 calories per minute. But on this thing I was only averaging about 8 or 9 calories per minute, which doesn't sound like that big a difference, but it adds up. I only burned 220 calories in the 25 minutes I was on the thing, but I was sweating like a pig and my heart was racing and my legs screaming. I got on the bicycle for 10 minutes after that to bring my heart rate down and burn some more calories (even the cool down cycle was difficult on this thing--level one was almost no resistance, but you still were taking the stairs two at a time!), then only had time for a couple of weight machines at the end. The frustrating thing was that I wanted to do some upper body stuff because my legs were already thoroughly worked out, but there were a group of skanky guys using all of the upper body machines (what is it with that? Why are guys so obsessed with building up their arms and chests but you almost never see them on the inner thigh or hamstring machines?) so I did lower body stuff. Probably a good thing--this morning my legs don't ache as I expected them to, so I think the weights at the end were a good cool down/stretch instead of adding to the burden!