Sunday, February 28, 2010

Vacation eating

My calorie totals for today are scary. We ate brunch in the hotel dining room and I ate WAY too much -- I can't say "no" to breakfast foods! We didn't do lunch, though I snacked on pretzels and almonds. And we went to Outback for dinner (not our choice; we went with friends -- when you're in a town that's full of restaurants, why pick a chain you could find anywhere?) which meant too much food again. I did manage a step count of close to 9000 -- the kids and I walked around on the beach for a while, and I walked in circles while they hung out in the hot tub this morning -- but I find myself doing exactly what I wanted to avoid, i.e., eating more than enough extra calories to make up for the good I did last week. Sigh.

We stopped at a grocery store and got our own mini-Continental buffet for tomorrow (cereal, fruit, and pastries) so the kids won't be too upset when we don't go to the hotel breakfast again. Breakfast is not included with the room (expensive hotel, too) and I hate paying ridiculous amounts for only a little bit of food. Eating in should help me cut calories a bit tomorrow. We're going to walk down to the lighthouse on the island tomorrow, too, and the real walking (as opposed to in-room walking) will do me good. I'll try to be good at dinner and lunch, but it's SO hard when the menu options are so appealing!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

I almost forgot to check in!

But it's Saturday and apparently nobody else visited, either, or at least nobody else posted, which would violate the challenge. I drove with the kids to the south end of Georgia today to join Daniel at his conference, so I spent 8 hours in the car. Rah. But we stopped at McDonald's for lunch and I only had the fruit 'n' yogurt parfait (it's on the dessert menu, I believe, but it's relatively healthy) plus about six French fries. And I ate fairly healthy on my snacks in the car, too -- I resisted the Girl Scout cookies and over the course of the drive ate a handful of pretzels, 1/2 serving of almonds, a banana, and a couple of grapes. I didn't do so well at dinner; Daniel had a conference banquet to go to, so the kids and I were on our own and we didn't feel like going out when we'd just arrived, so we ordered pizza. If I'd stuck to only two slices I would have been fine. Or if I'd left Daniel's bag of Doritos alone I'd just have come in under the limit for my calories for the day. But I didn't and I didn't, so I'm slightly over. But I also paced around the room while the kids were settling down to bed and managed to get my step count up to 7700, from about half that, so surely that had to help, and all told I didn't do THAT badly. I so don't want to get home from this trip and find I've completely undone the work I started this week. I was just getting enthused about the diet. This is a terrible time for a trip!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Spicy tofu

In honor of Brian's impending employment, and our consequent impending non-relationship (both at work all day, he in class Monday - Wednesday evenings until 10 or 11, me in scouts Thursday evenings and often Friday/Saturday as well = we don't see each other again until June!) we decided to go out for lunch today. We should have done this yesterday or any other day than today, because eating out on Fridays in Lent is just no fun if you don't like seafood. We ended up at P.F. Changs because their vegetarian choices are better than most, and I ordered a spicy tofu and broccoli dish. The good thing about tofu is that it's good for you and relatively low calorie. The other good thing about it when you're dieting is that it is kind of like eating flavorless jello, so you're not tempted to overeat. Add to that a really spicy sauce that had me sweating by the third bite, and the end result is that in spite of eating out for lunch today, I probably took in no more calories than I usually do (nutritional info on their website says I ate about 400 calories).

OTOH, going out for lunch means NOT going to the gym today, which means I only got to the gym once this week. OTOOH (on the other OTHER hand, or should that be OTFH - on the first hand), I was down a little over a pound this week, to 151 even. It's not great, but at least it's going the right direction.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Nothing to say.....

but I'm posting, anyway. We went to the dentist this morning for our annual cleanings and I finally took delivery of my crown that I have been waiting for since November. I may not be any lighter, but my bank account is!

Then we dropped in to see Kirsten. She was half awake but lying pretty much on her stomach. We bent down and she was able to see us and we each had a big smile from her before she decided to go to sleep. At first I thought she was snoring, but it was her roommate.

Now off to do some vacuuming!

Oh the Humidity!

Or lack there of in this case. I AM DYING! I can't stand the way I feel. I drink and drink and drink (WATER! Yes! Duh!) and I still feel dehydrated. I run back and forth to the bathroom (I have to count the steps... it is far away) and I still have such a sore throat! I got up twice again last night - and I was SNORING all night - which means my quality of sleep was very poor. The snoring is because the dry air dries out my sinuses too - so I feel like I have a VERY bad cold (achy from lack of sleep, sore throat from dry air and mouth breathing and a sinus headache). Sigh.

No Emily, I didn't exercise. I should have I know I should have. I took Ginger out to dinner last night. We did a buffet (her choice not mine, I am not a buffet fan). I ate all seafood and desserts and so was overly full by the time we were done (I drank two big glasses of water and one of decaf coffee). Anyway, afterwards we played the slots. Or I played and Ginger watched - which she says she loves to do, but I can't imagine it would be fun for her. But - I WON! I mean, I generally WIN because I usually try to quit while I am ahead, and you usually manage to get ahead at least once. But this time I REALLY won. I won $110 on a $2 bet. Hee hee. It was quite fun. I lost back down to $100 and then cashed out. Yippee! I don't THINK I would be a compulsive gambler, but it is probably a good thing I don't live near a casino. 8-)

Tomorrow we leave for our drive to Vegas. Sarah, everyone assures me that the drive is NOT a pretty one - but it is part of the country that I have not explored before. They also say that there are several towns we don't want to stop in. I am sure it will be fine. It sounds like everyone has done it at least once. I will need to convince Ginger to take me to a grocery store tonight so I can stock up on healthy snacks for the road.

A lower number!

I know I shouldn't care about individual fluctuations, but my weight dipped downward on the scale today. I've been in such a rut on my weight since New Year's that it's nice to know that the scale is capable of showing any other number.

I counted calories yesterday and struggled to stay close to my limit. The day before I should have been counting but didn't, and I know it would have been bad (I retroactively started putting the foods in yesterday and discovered that the ice cream alone was 2/3 of my calories for the day. Ouch). Getting that number on the scale today provides a nice motivation, when I haven't been excited about dieting in months.

Despite my car refusing to take me to the gym yesterday (it decided it wanted a new battery instead), I did get a little exercise; since I was already in my clothes and feeling a bit silly for being in them but not being sweaty, I did the 15-minute Walk Away the Pounds with-weights video. (I also paced around a lot while watching the Olympics so that I could get my step count up some more -- I hit 8400 by the end of the day.) Since I'd just done Nautilus for my upper body on Tuesday that meant I wound up with very sore arms today, which is bad because Thursday is my BodyStep day and we use our arms a lot. OTOH, the last time I went in there with an injured arm (actually an annoyance in my right shoulder blade) it shook out the last of the awkwardness, so maybe the class will work out the stiffness from the exercise, and then I'll just take it easy on the push-ups at the end so as not to cause muscle strain.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Craving Carbage

I was STARVING when I got home from work tonight, and I didn't want ANY of the decent snacks we had in the house. I eventually made some popcorn, had a few cubes of cheddar cheese and a single Hershey's kiss, but what I really wanted was a huge stack of pancakes. I love pancakes, and Peter hates pancakes (and waffles and French Toast THE HORROR) so I never have them. Even now I am sitting here fantasizing about IHOP and what I would pick off the menu. Sheesh--I got home from work 2 1/2 hours ago and I am STILL thinking about pancakes.

I didn't weigh myself this week; the scale is a depressing tool. I just made a list of all the chores and tasks (I differentiate based on whether something is repetitive or not) and I have enough to do until mid next week if I work straight through. Some one please tell me that it is ok to leave this list and go exercise!!! I have a significant problem with this.

I did finally buy 2010 calendar pages for my planner today, so I am hoping having that tool again will help (force??) me to schedule time for the gym. I was also contemplating a personal trainer for a few sessions to help establish an actual routine. When I lived a million miles from work, I would come home and immediately hit the treadmill. Why doesn't that work for me now that I live close to work? I am also going to try to take the train downtown more frequently. My office is 4 blocks away from the station, uphill both ways. Not even joking on that; there is a hill in between the Lexington Market stop and my office on Arch St. It crests at Eutaw. I usually get a ride to work because, honestly, the train is totally ghetto, and sometimes it is downright scary. I try to keep an open mind, but it just doesn't always work because some people just really do seem to be total losers.

Well, I think I may get up from this table, leaving all my work spread out across it, walk past the mess in the kitchen, up the stairs and into the exercise room and use that giant dust catcher we have that is also known as a treadmill. After all, I did make those poor Russian boys I hired to move us carry the darn thing upstairs, so I should make some use of it.

Hello!

I just had an e-mail from Emily suggesting I start checking the blog if I want to hear anything from my daughters, and over the weekend either Amy or Katie asked me if I'd been checking the blog. I haven't. I'd pretty much forgotten about it. But I have been wishing I could take off some of this blubber I have accumulated lately. Usually my holiday weight drops off pretty quickly, but not this year. I have to see my doctor for a blood pressure check on Friday, and I wish I could just get back to where I was the last time I saw him. Trouble is I can't remember what it was!

I am avoiding sweets and not eating between meals during Lent. I guess that's a diet, because I do check the scale regularly. My OLLI classes start Monday, and I will not pay a dollar for coffee and snacks, so that should help, too.

I lost a couple of pounds after Ash Wednesday, but the birthday part Sunday put them back on
again. Of course I am not exercising at all! Does knitting count?

I'm not good at not fasting

It's not that I'm inclined not to eat -- it's that if I don't go cold-turkey I don't have good restraint. WHY is it so hard to listen to my body and feed it only when it's hungry? I didn't count calories yesterday (good thing, too, because we went to ColdStone to use Alexander's coupon and I did NOT take the "sinless raspberry sorbet" or any other such nonsense) but today I am, and I'm not loving the numbers -- I'm going to have to show a lot more restraint this evening than I did this morning if I want to keep my calorie intake at the right level. I've always thought it would be so much easier if I could give up food entirely. I don't like how I feel when I don't eat when I need to, but I can eat nothing at all much more easily than I can eat just a SMALL serving of something. Today the pretzels came out at about 11 am -- the kids were hungry but it wasn't lunch time -- and instead of eating the half serving I planned to, I ate a whole serving (and didn't count very carefully -- it could have been more) and then ate a whole serving of almonds as well (I usually eat three one-third servings throughout the day instead of all at once) when I wasn't hungry at all.

I bought salmon for dinner tonight. I love salmon because even if I eat a fair amount it's very low in calorie and extremely healthy. So maybe I have a chance of surviving dinner with my diet somewhat intact.

Reno loves it's deep fried foods!

I don't know if it is just that I am hanging out with Ginger, but I seem to be confronted with a lot of high fat foods - which is making my stomach rebell! OTOH, being in the desert makes me drink a LOT of water. I was up twice during the night the last two nights - and in neither case was my night particularly long. My room has a scale in it. I was thinking about weighing myself, but decided I really didn't want to know. I haven't weighed myself at home in a long while, why would I do it when I am on "vacation?"

I didn't bring a bathing suit with me - but I am kind of wishing I had. I see the pool from the elevator when I am going up and down to my room. It looks very soothing. I should explore the spa/gym area. I DID bring exercise clothes with me. I usually do when I travel. I don't usually use them. Sometimes, but not usually.

Regaining weight

I heard this on NPR a couple of days ago and meant to post it then, but forgot. They are running a series about weight loss/gain and aging that has been interesting in the way that NPR stories are always interesting even when they have no relation to your life. But when you've lost 30 pounds and regained 20 of that in spite of regular exercise and what I *thought* was careful attention to my diet, it's even more interesting.

The story covered research on how your brain responds to food after you've lost weight and it turns out that under normal circumstances you respond to food using the logical/rational part of your brain, but after weight loss you respond with the emotional part of your brain, so you make stupid choices. It has to do with the depletion of leptin, which is associated with reward-seeking behavior. When your leptin is low, you eat Oreos even if logically you know you won't starve in the 45 minutes before dinner and you really shouldn't be eating these things.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123894109&ps=cprs

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My trip so far

I felt AWFUL! yesterday. I was flying Southwest - and while they give juice and crackers and stuff they don't serve meals. I left my office at 1:30ish and arrived in Reno at 10pm local time - 1am East Coast time. I ate two packs of Ritz crackers, airplane peanuts, a snickers, and a bag of cheese curls and I was feeling it. Oh - and a pack of baby carrots - the only thing I actually really savored! My stomach didn't feel empty, but I was craving protein like you would not believe. Unfortunately, by the time I checked in the only food place at the hotel/casino that was still open was the bakery. NOT what I needed.

Anyway, I slept HORRIBLY last night. Ginger and I sat at the bar and gambled (I made $5, Ginger lost $3) and drank - for free, the nice thing about casinos) for about another hour or so. By the time I went to bed it was 3am your time! I was overly tired and so couldn't sleep, and then kept waking up needing to go potty. I then had a whole series of weird dreams. Sigh. I woke up desparately wanting to do some yoga - and did a few stretches, but not enough... I ordered room service (I love room service) for breakfast and made it a standing order for the week. I very originally ordered two poached eggs, orange juice and whole wheat toast. It is much cheaper to eat at home!

I am STARVING now. It is 3:23 East Coast time - which I think my body is feeling - but only 12:23 here. Ginger is on the phone. I need to harass her to get me fed!

No more fasting for me

So last night the headache started in again, and by this morning two hours after breakfast it was coming back. I haven't had a hint of caffeine in almost a week, so I can rule that out. At this point I'm having to wonder if I'm clinically hypoglycemic! (My midwife (I saw her in September for my annual) wasn't surprised that I had had lowish blood sugar during one test I had a decade ago -- she said even though PCOS is often tied to diabetes it's really entangled with any blood sugar irregularities.) Whether I am or not, I couldn't even make it through a week of fasting except at mealtimes -- how did people do it pre-Vatican II?

I weighed in at 154 today (it's Tuesday, so I feel like I should say) which is still in the same range as before this weeklong experiment, so I can't tell that the fasting is making any difference in my weight, either. Looks like it's back to counting calories for me.

I'm having fun finding so many posts on here every day! Yesterday I didn't post at all -- I had nothing new to say, and there were SO many others! Hooray!

Hibernation station

Ugh. If this could be a one word post "ugh" would do it.

I had a pretty good December. I made it a point to exercise daily up until Christmas and then my routine turned intermittent.

Right now I'm loaded with a pack of excuses and I'm not happy about it. My brother moved up in early January then the bad weather hit and hit and hit. I have been freelancing and working several little jobs. I started my food blog and continued to job hunt. I simply have had trouble establishing a routine and working within what I was doing. Granted it was a chaotic couple of months but I could've been more aggressive with my scheduling.

I've managed a few workouts here and there and I use my time commuting running my Metro escalators and enjoying the walk from whatever parking space I find near the train.

But mostly I've been hibernating. I know that should mean I eat and eat and store up fat to sleep all winter instead of just eat and eat and eat all winter. Actually though I didn't overdo it during the snow --- I cooked relatively healthy food but really wasn't getting in any exercise.

It seems I'll be starting a new job soon and I hope to get rooted in a schedule that will provide me the opportunity to exercise. I will ensure that it will.

So bring on the sunshine and warm temperatures that I hope will motivate me as we move into spring ... one day soon.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Good to see everyone back!

I like Emily's challenge of checking the blog every day and posting something if no one else has yet. If I had been doing that in December, there would have been a lot of posts from me--after my orthopedist visit I kept waiting for someone else to post so I wouldn't be talking to myself! Then I gave up checking the blog at all for the most part.

Here's a quick rundown of what's happened to me in the past couple of months: went to PT for my SI joint problem. Spent six weeks doing PT. Got better. It was amazing, actually--I was in a lot of pain at the start and was thinking this would never get better and I'd have to get surgery or something, but then over the course of a week or so, it just improved daily until the pain was gone and I could do all of my normal activities again. I "graduated" from PT the last week of January and went back to my normal routine of three to four days at the gym each week, and keeping up my PT strengthening and stretching exercises at home.

And two weeks later I was in pain again. Aaarrgggh! It's not as bad as before, and I've been telling myself for the past week that I just need to redouble my strengthening and stretching. Cycling is still fine--I don't have any pain doing that. Running hurts, so I stopped doing that. And on Saturday I tried swimming again, and that was awful. It hurt as soon as I hit the water (I'm guessing from the cold) and when I tried swimming, the pain was unbelieveable--kicking at all caused so much pain that eventually I just stopped kicking and made it back to the ladder using just my upper body. I was glad that the pool I was in never got deeper than five feet.

So while I was worried about getting myself back in shape for the triathlon this summer, now I'm worried about being able to do it at all. There's no way I'm getting in open water feeling this way. I'm back at the orthopedist in one week, so we'll see what he has to say, and in the meantime I'll stick with the stationary bike at the gym.

As for food, I managed in one week to undo all the good I did throughout January. I had dropped about four pounds in January, then when it snowed I spent the whole time baking and eating. I actually haven't weighed myself since then - too scared to look - but I'm back to eating well, and I've given up sweets for Lent, so that'll help with overeating. All of my clothes are tight, and like Emily I have no spring and summer clothes left in my bigger size (if you all remember I started working at the college a month or so after we started dieting. When I started here I bought some new fall clothes in the size I was at the time, but by spring I had lost so much weight that my new spring clothes are all based on me being 135 pounds. Those don't fit me anymore!), so I have no choice but to lose weight before the weather warms up!

Monday, Monday

I am actually looking forward to today after having an incredibly grumpy weekend. I felt like my entire weekend was just a giant to-do list of chores, and it made me very unhappy, more so than usual for some reason. So, new week, new mind set.

I spent yesterday afternoon concocting a recipe for Cajun Jambalaya Pasta like you can get at Cheesecake Factory. I found a copy cat online, but it didn't seem quite right so I kept adjusting. Plus there were ingredients in the how-to steps that were not listed in the ingredients list. that annoys me :-) It turned out really well. As far as healthiness, I need to assess more formally, but I don't think it was totally awesome or totally awful--I loaded it with peppers, onions, tomatoes, then added some chicken, shrimp and spicy sausage, chicken bouillon, about a table spoon of olive oil, the Cajun spices, and then linguine. The online recipe called for an entire bottle of clam juice; I just can't bring myself to buy that stuff or use it. It just seems really gross to me. I substituted the chicken bouillon instead, and added some tomato juice. I think the healthy factor probably comes down to portion size given the pasta, but that is a guess. It definitely didn't have a lot of fat.

My exercise "schedule" is still off. I was planning to go tonight after work, but then Peter reminded me this morning that we are supposed to have dinner with friends tonight. Sheesh. I have class tomorrow night, so if I am going to get to the gym it will be nearly 8 pm.

I'm reading this book called The Happiness Project--any one else picked it up? I really enjoy it, and the author puts into words things I have felt for a long time but just couldn't verbalize well. for instance, I feel like just yesterday we were celebrating Christmas, but in reality it was nearly 2 months ago and we are almost at the end of February. One of the author's Four Splendid Truths is "The days are long, but the years are short. " I am really feeling this one right now.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Party tonight leaving tomorrow

I am concerned that I will break my streak of checking and posting on the blog DAYS after I start. Tomorrow I am leaving for Reno - and, while I will be working, I am not sure what my computer access will be. I will try however.

Tonight was my family birthday party. We had very yummy beef stroganoff and then carrot cake for dessert. I was not stingy! I am now feeling quite full. I am also trying to finish packing for my trip.

I like to travel. I like to stay in hotels. There is something peaceful about having a limited living space and very few items to distract you. However, I am also visiting Ginger, so I will be spending quite a bit of time with her - which, while fun, is not exactly peaceful. I am also sort of dreading a week of restaurant food. I LOVE eating out, however, I have been quite queasy for a while, and I am sure the fat, sugar and salt that comes with restaurant food will be overwhelming... Ah well, it will be fun.

Sunday

Today I'm allowed to eat between meals, but since we had early church and then Alexander's CCD I still didn't get any food in me until after 11! I hate missing breakfast. Since then I've been grazing. Despite the late brunch and the early rising (so I didn't get a full night's sleep) I've been feeling pretty good all day so that means I'll have a clean slate to start the week. Some friends are cooking Chinese food for dinner tonight, so I'm looking forward to authentic, high-calorie good food tonight, which probably isn't the best way to start the week, but I'm trying not to sweat the individual calories. I have four gym appointments this week, at least -- I don't look forward to the gym trips but I always feel better when I'm going regularly, and I kind of like having this step class to look forward to. It's variety, at least! And if I start getting too consistent at that, I'll add in BodyPump, which meets on Wednesdays at the same time -- that ought to do some damage to my routine!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Missing the point of fasting

I'm not sure that fasting between meals is going to be an effective diet for me. With Alexander's birthday party today, I managed to cram in pizza, Yoda Soda (Sprite and lime sherbet -- but just a small cup), and cake, and then for dinner we went to Moe's, so I had a burrito (half of it -- they're big) with real sour cream, and a beer to drink, and a pile of chips (I was ravenous), and then I came home and ate a brownie. So I ate a ton of calories, most of which were pretty much empty. That doesn't seem like a great approach to dieting to me.

I'm going to keep trying this approach for a week or two regardless -- I'm kind of tired of counting calories when I've been doing that off and on for four years or so -- and I'll see if it has any impact on what I weigh. But so far I don't like this approach that much because I also don't like how it makes me feel; I spend a lot of time feeling hungry, and I've had headaches the last two days (though I can't tell if that's from low blood sugar or because I drank some green tea on Thursday -- I know that's supposed to be such a lovely, healthy kind of tea, but over the past two months I've noticed that ANY caffeinated drink is leading to a headache the next day for me). I'm also tired, but I can't tell if my overall tiredness is diet-related or circumstance-related; tomorrow I will eat more freely, and then after that I have a normal week (i.e., no birthday parties, days full of school, and my usually scheduled exercise) so I'll see if the headaches and fatigue persist or not.

I ended up not getting exercise last night because the party prep kept me going until late. I was well over 7000 steps for the day; a normal day for me would be 2-4000 without exercise, so at least I didn't have a lazy day.

Stuff and nonesense

Katie and I (mostly Katie since it involved her going through the stuff in her bedroom) worked today on cleaning up the mess in the two leaky bedrooms. The adjuster for my insurance company is coming on Monday and I am trying to make it look like we are the most pristine housekeepers in the world so he will see that all of the damage in those room is solely the result of the water in the walls. Maybe I can also get new carpet for the basement... hee hee.

At this point I am not counting on anything, though. The most obvious damage is the warped and cracked frames around the windows and doors, and the smelly carpet upstairs, and the bubbling paint in the living room. Sam told me that they have a tool that reads for water in the walls - however, it has stopped leaking and the snow from the roof was removed almost a week ago. The carpets are still obviously damp, but I don't know what is going on inside the walls. I am concerned that they will say "Oh. No big deal" and LEAVE me with soaked dry wall that will then disintegrate in the next rainstorm. Sigh. Katie found purple and green stains on her carpet where something got wet and then ran. The windowsill in the sewing/Claire's/yoga room is beyond belief!

So the only exercise I did today was carrying the spare bed from the room upstairs down into the storage room. Pathetic.

So, on a more positive thought path... What if I AM going to have to get new floor/walls upstairs? I think I want to do a bright deep celery green with a dark wood/pergo floor in the yoga room. I will probably do the same floor in Katie's room - but I don't know what color. Obviously Katie will have a say in that, but I am thinking a rich wedgewood blue - both rooms with bright white trim. What do you think? I love my living room still, so I will probably stick with the same colors there.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Better get a bucket!!

I have eaten so much fat in the past two weeks that I am permanently queasy! I was REALLY bad when I was snowed in. I stocked up, not on milk and TP but on ice cream and potato chips. I don't normally eat those, why would I eat them while snowed in? Anyway - on my birthday (which I know doesn't count as lent or diets) I had fish and chips at The Still - DEEP FRIED! and then Katie and I had burgers at Red Robin for dinner. Yummmmmmm. Today I ate my left over fish and chips for late lunch/early dinner. I have been eating like crazy lately! I don't know if it is the cold weather or what but I have been CRAVING the fat and then eating portions much larger than my normal consumption.

I am hoping to get the floor put in in the small bedroom in my house. If not done by the home owners insurance, then I will get Home Depot to do it in the next month or so. I REALLY missed doing a full yoga routine when I couldn't make it in to the studion.

Ummmmmm. I still haven't decided what I am doing for lent. I know. I am a little behind. Maybe I will join Emily on the fast thing, only I may make mine more a focus on regular meals.

No exercise. No excuses.

Friday

I'm on my third day of not eating between meals and I can't decide if today is worse or better because of all I have to do. Normally being busy is good because it distracts me from the snacking, but today I had to go grocery shopping as the last part of my morning, and then immediately thereafter started an afternoon of cooking and baking. I'm taking dinner to a friend so I've been cooking that and making dessert (brownies) for her, and Alexander's birthday party is tomorrow so I just had to make a cake for that. OTOH, I was eating lunch when I started and now I'm not actually hungry, so that helps.

The worst part of yesterday was not eating when I was home for the evening. I had to go out right after dinner (good) but was back shortly after 9 and didn't go to bed until well past midnight (stupid Olympic skating!) and since I'd eaten just after 6 I was ravenous. I drank tea and that helped a bit. But tonight I don't even have the distraction of going out, so I'm going to have to find some way to distract myself. I suppose there's always exercise -- Fridays I can't usually find the opportunity (unless we have a sitter and I walk downtown to meet Daniel, but until basketball season is over my sitter is occupied), but tonight Daniel has dinner out with a visitor (fish sticks for the kids for dinner -- I should have thought to pick up the grown-up version, those frozen fish fillets!) so I'll be on my own for a while. Hmm. It's a thought.

Back to the cooking and the food prep! What are y'all working on, health/diet/fitness-wise? And who has checked in today?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Setting new goals

It seems universally true that we need new goals and a new kick in the rear end to get back on track. I went back to the first posts on this site, and challenge number one, courtesy of Amy, was CHECK THIS BLOG EVERY DAY. We didn't have to post every day but we needed to read what was new anyway. So I'm re-issuing this challenge. Furthermore, if no one else has posted yet, you are required to post so that there IS something new every day. And even if someone else has posted, you're not off the hook; you should still make an effort to post regularly. Yes, you. You know who I'm talking to. (Myself, I suspect.)

It struck me on Monday of this week that while I just managed to squeeze into a nice winter-ish dress at Christmas, I'm going to be in a bad way come Easter, because all my decent dresses are in the smaller sizes that I used to fit 25 pounds ago -- down at the bottom of our skinniness, when we were all at our low point since September 2005. Or at least close to it. I could squeeze into them up to 10 pounds ago, but this winter most of my dress clothes were dug out of the give-away pile (good (?) thing I'm a procrastinator about getting to the Y store) and they look like it. So I have a personal goal of doing whatever it takes to be able to wear a decent spring dress. I don't have any of those in the give-away pile because I passed the non-hideous ones along already, so it's either lose inches or wear maternity/nursing clothes.

I think the only reason I'm not back up over my starting weight is that I was still carrying pregnancy weight when we started. This fall I was back to my pre-Cecilia weight, which was not great to begin with. Thanks to yesterday's fasting I'm back under the overweight BMI limit, but I'm still not in great shape for my frame size. I was thinking I could try the old-style Lenten fast as part of my Lenten promises, but then when I was reading about the old rules and people who do them now, a writer pointed out that if you're weighing yourself every day you're not doing a Lenten fast: you're dieting, and you might as well admit it. So I'm still going to try fasting between meals, because I know if I give myself an inch I'll take a mile, but it's not a Lenten fast. It's dieting. I just can't see myself giving up the scale for Lent. I'm already giving up Cafe World and Treasure Madness!

So that's where I stand. I'm fasting between meals on non-Sundays, I'm exercising 3-4 days a week at the gym, and I'm going to check the blog daily, and if the rest of you don't post I'll just hang around here talking to myself.

Hmmm...

I check the blog every so often too, but I am usually too annoyed with myself to post anything. I am up a net 33 lbs from where I was when we started back in 2005; the situation is actually worse than that because I was down to the 150s in mid 2007 and totally, utterly and embarassingly trashed myself after that.

I've been having issues with plantar fasciitis in both feet for the better part of a year now, with my right foot being REALLY severe. I paid $1 million for a pair of shoes and they are making a difference. This was after paying $2 million at the doctor for a pair of inserts that I think someone cut out of a cutting board. They are so hard! The way my feet rub on them makes my heel numb. So I bought the Dansko shoes at the old lady shoe store and I am better, but definitely not cured or anything.

I have been inconsistently exercising since Christmas time. I was doing well in January, but then school started Feb 1 and I can't find a routine that works. Add in the ridiculous snowfall, and I am just a disaster with organization. I still haven't bought a 2010 calendar, and it is only a matter of time until catastrophe strikes because of that.

I am pretty unhappy with how I have handled myself over the last few years. I find that I am still putting everything ahead of my own health/well being, and I have to break through that mental barrier that says it is not ok for me to go to the gym instead of cleaning the house, getting the laundry done, tweaking my lecture for class, etc. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that. Any suggestions are welcome.

Emily--how do I add the blog to an RSS feed?

Amy--Let me know if you still have your Brick Bodies membership. I like the Bodyflow class on Wednesday nights at 7:30 in Reisterstown and my friend Amanda & I go to either Reisterstown or Owings Mills to use the machines. Our issue is that she likes to go at like 6-6:30 pm, and I either want to go early (5ish) or later (8:30ish.)

Hope you are all doing well!

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I'm just checking...

Does anyone ever come here anymore? I check every few days - but nothing has changed in over a month.

So - Sleep Study part two is scheduled for next Wednesday. I am thinking that I want to try to make my bedroom more conducive to sleep first/also. Currently it is such a junk pile. I wonder if I actually CLEAN everything it would be better for sleep. I also want to get darker shades. I have always preferred translucent shades, but everything I read about sleep disorders says to make sure your sleeping space is cool and dark. Mine isn't dark. It is medium grey at best. I also am planning on getting new pillows with my tax return. I sleep with the same pillow I got for college (c. 1985) and the ones I bought within a few years of graduation (c. 1990). I need new ones... Good ones. My originals were all cheap at the time. Maybe changes like this will help me sleep with the GD CPAP machine...